I have a major concern. It is about the duration of how sex should be. These days, I have been really concerned with the expected length my partner needs when we get down, and honestly, it is becoming quite a chore, and it is slowly becoming one of the reasons I need a boyfriend or a long-term fuck buddy. That one person whose needs I understand and can readily satisfy without feeling like I’m falling short or pressing on too hard.
Hooking up with a guy that expects a two-hour-long sex when you had the intention of just busting a nut and leaving in about 30 minutes is one of such awkward situations; or a case where a guy is ready to go the second round shortly after the first but you know you need a little break before little Johnny can get to play. Then there are guys that want you to bust as fast as possible because they can’t take the D for over three minutes, or the ones that act like having over a 9-inch dick means banging them till the end of the world.
Lately, I have been meeting guys that request a longer duration, and frankly, I do not have the time for that. I am more for an intense foreplay, intense quick bang, and an after-play of lying in bed and feeling each other.
These groups of guys – who I should add are older than me and which I hope explains their ability to stay on longer – make me feel like I fall short of some part of sexual prowess. Someone said it is normal, as guys are different and no one guy has the ability of another guy in the sheets. The thing is though, I aim to please, you know, to put up a show every time.
So dear diary, tell me, do I wait till I am older, considering I’m in my early twenties, to discover if I can go the expected round of four for a man, or do I start now to “fix” the ability to last longer sometimes and bust quicker other times?
Or does this ability depend on certain factors, like weather, tightness or looseness of the boy’s pussy? And what tips do you need have to be the power top for your power bottom?
Being a black guy, certain expectations are required of you. Am I being paranoid to want to be able to please every time? I know there are guys who can.
In the meantime though, something pretty cool happened recently. There is this super-hot guy from my former gym who I had my eyes on for a long time. He is tall, caramel-skinned with a phatty. I used to crush on him when I used my old gym, but stopped seeing him when I switched to another fitness center.
I guess my gaydar was right all along as I just discovered he is gay and bottom.
What are the odds that that super-hot, masculine, tall guy at your gym who hardly notices you exist turns out not only to be gay, but a bottom and actually admits he has had his eyes on you for a long time?
Dear diary, at this point, I believe nothing is impossible.
Next stop is David McIntosh. I’ll tell you more with time.
I honestly feel that the ultimate test to determine if someone really likes you is how fast they respond to your text messages. I may be wrong but considering the text messaging culture prevalent here in the US and how everybody has their phones within reach at all times, it is impossible for someone to say they didn’t see your message for a significant amount of time. To be clear, I am not talking about social media messages that may be missed when not logged on or ignored because someone like myself do not take social media messages as priority. No. That is different from text messages, especially here in the US. People don’t even call anymore; they see phone calls as too formal or an old fashioned medium of communication. Texts is always the way to go, and if I – despite the fact that I work in a strictly no-phones-allowed-during-work-hours office – still find time to reply your messages, you better have a very valid reason for not responding promptly.
This is what led to my falling out with Miguel, you know, my Latin lover. We hooked up several times after the first, but each meeting was so difficult to schedule. This made me confused. I could see he liked me or was acting like he did pretty well, but always failed to reply messages for so many hours, even on days he was off work. I knew he’d claim he doesn’t have his phone on him, but when I check his IG, I’d see he’s just posted a picture. I don’t know about others but if I like you, your text messages become top priority; even as I sit directly in front of my manager at work, I am willing to risk a text communication if I like you.
Also, Miguel is quite the traveler and party animal, really living the gay fabulous life of exotic trips and clubs around the world. Honestly, I was quite envious of the fun and endless travels, but nothing infuriated me more than the failure to reply messages while still claiming he liked me. I really find it difficult to believe, as personally, if I don’t like a person, I lag in my reply to their messages.
So, I don’t get it. How does someone claim they like you but cancel many times when a meeting is planned or fails to reply messages leading to a day or two?
Written by Duke