THE DIARY OF A NIGERIAN FUCKBOY (Entry 4)

THE DIARY OF A NIGERIAN FUCKBOY (Entry 4)

Dear Diary,

I am starting to learn the lingo of gay online hookups. Unlike the arguably straightforward terms I was used to in Nigeria, here, there is always something new. It’s like every time, I bump into a new description of a preference I never thought existed, or some requirement a potential hook up must meet before he makes the move.

I will briefly write about them. Like I said, there is always something new and this is not an all-inclusive list. Some are self-explanatory while others are just outright outlandish. This will also give a better understanding of the other entries I will make on here.

It usually starts with “What are you looking to get into?” or the simple question “Into?” or the one that actually gets on my nerves for some reason: “Looking?” If I wasn’t looking, I wouldn’t be online!

Anyway, the fetishes and desires are endless:

The Oral Top: He is a Top but likes to play with his mouth. Apparently, Bottoms are the only ones that are supposed to please Tops orally, hence the oral top basically saying, “I will suck you like a Bottom but fuck you like a top.”

The masc4masc: Here, only ‘masculine guys’ are needed. So if you don’t hit the gym, have the baritone voice of Morgan Freeman and rock hard abs, you shouldn’t hit him up because he is supposedly ‘masculine’ and can only roll with guys like himself.

The PnP: I personally stay away from guys that have this on their profile. It means ‘Party and Play’, and no, “Party” does not mean cake and balloons and “Play” doesn’t mean time spent playing soccer. It means they use drugs and are pretty open to any sexual fantasy you want. Most times, this means bareback sex.

The Ass Worshipper: This guy just wants you to sit on his face or dominate him with your ass. Sometimes, he wants your ass musty and sweaty, so coming straight from the gym or work and taking a seat on his face and nostrils gives him intense pleasure. This type of guy loves athletic and fit guys, because the musky and masculine scent that has been marinated in underwear is what he desires. He is also not necessarily a Top. He could be a Bottom who wants a Top to exert his dominance using his manly, sweaty butt. Search for “Buttbully” on Google and you’ll get a hint of what I am talking about.

Safe Fun: Safe fun could mean what it sounds, like “safe sex”, or it could mean intense foreplay or sex without penetration. So you guys basically just kiss, romance and jerk off. It could also be called “Bro-bonding” or “Jerk off buddy”.

Mild to Wild: This guy is telling you he is flexible. He could be a gentle sex mate or a freak in the sheets, with you tying him up and doing whatever. He could be a demon or an angel. You could kiss him and cuddle or spit on him and gag him. Anything you want.

The Popper: The Popper or Popper-friendly guy is the one who uses alkyl nitrites. This is a recreational drug in a small bottle that helps relaxation during sex. Inhaling nitrites relaxes smooth muscles throughout the body. Smooth muscles surround the body’s blood vessels and, when relaxed, causes these vessels to dilate, resulting in an immediate decrease in blood pressure. Alkyl nitrites are often used as a club drug or to enhance a sexual experience. They facilitate anal intercourse by relaxing the internal and external anal sphincter muscles.

I have had my experience with this ‘devil in a tiny bottle’ and I will share that with you soon, Diary.

The Fetish Wrestler: This guy is turned on by a mild or sometimes intense wrestle before going down. In fact, sometimes the winner gets to top and loser gets to bottom. So if you didn’t douche before coming, you better win that fight.

The “Race Specific” Guy: This guy states clearly the race he wants a potential hookup to be. It may sound racist till you see a white guy who says he wants “Black Cock Only”. Some go the extra mile to warn that if someone not from the specified race hits them up, they’ll be swift to block the defaulter. Of course, there are those who want guys from the same race: White-White, Black-Black etc. Some actually highlight all the races that they are interested in, subtly saying something along the lines of “Preferably into White and Latino guys, no hate, just a preference.” But no need to fret, Black dick is still the most wanted for some reason, so I guess we are still good.

The Poz Guy: This guy has HIV, is on treatment and clearly tells you in his profile that if you can’t deal with that, you can go fuck yourself because it is 2016! In fact, some tell you they prefer bareback because they are HIV positive undetectable and they are technically “safe”.

The PReP Guy: This guy, like the Poz guy, is on treatment but more as a preventive measure. PReP is now seen as a gateway to having unprotected sex over here, and most times, this falls into the mild to wild category aforementioned. So in other words, any way you want to fuck, safe or unsafe, this guy is ready for you.

The Extreme Freak: This guy wants some things done to him that may be considered weird. This includes, but not limited to, the Golden Shower, which is peeing on him; Scat or Brown Bath, which is taking a dump on him; Bondage, which is tying him up and whipping him; Foot Worship, which means he wants to worship your feet with or without socks, sometimes with the stink in his face and nostrils.

Felch: This means kissing a guy with cum in your mouth. It could be his, yours or both. It is basically the exchange of cum with kissing.

Host/Travel: Host means your house is available for the hookup, and Travel means you would rather go over to meet the person using a means of transport.

Muscle Worship: This guy wants a guy with muscles so he can “worship” those big biceps and thighs. He basically wants to kiss, be smothered or dominated by thick power-lifting type of guys.

Written by Duke

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37 Comments

  1. KingBey
    June 14, 05:28 Reply

    You forgot to add BB. When I first saw that, I was like….BlackBerry? Not knowing the Nigga wanted BareBack. Lol

  2. Mandy
    June 14, 05:49 Reply

    People have different kinks sha. Another proof of how different we all are. Some of the things here, I’d never do. Never even fantasized about doing.

  3. ambivalentone
    June 14, 07:00 Reply

    All these avoidable questions if only people would just read through profiles. That poz and PreP thing sent shivers down my spine one time I stumbled on a tweep’s TL. I feared the world had lost its mind. And ‘flench’? I thot it’s called another name that skips my mind. It trended a while back too.
    Anyway, I have now saved d page.

    • Delle
      June 14, 12:38 Reply

      Lol@ Flench?…it’s Felch ooo. *laughing out my weave*

      • Lorde
        June 14, 12:57 Reply

        Haha….Nna you don see am nau, I no even sabi anywan

  4. Francis
    June 14, 07:07 Reply

    Hmmmm. Joachim Lowe …. Ass worshipper

  5. Too clean
    June 14, 07:22 Reply

    Chai.

    Duke!

    You are too fast…

    You don learn pass your teacher..good one

    I am learning from you,shouldn’t I?

  6. Truth
    June 14, 07:37 Reply

    I think I just developed a headache.

  7. Regal Sweetheart
    June 14, 08:30 Reply

    Yeah. It’s not Flench, it’s Felch(ing). Basically Cum play. Could go as far as sucking cum from the butt of someone who’d been cum into…and sharing with the cummer or the cumee.

    #OkBye.

  8. Lorde
    June 14, 09:11 Reply

    At least now I won’t look like dundee when someone asks me “flench”?

  9. Shuga chocolata
    June 14, 09:23 Reply

    Pukes??????

    I feel irritated,

    This piece was an insight indeed…

    Can’t fathom how people cope with such, I will personally block the person no hating but my life is still valuable to me mbok.

    My two cents is that people should always do well to read profiles online……..

    Hello Francis, how do you do?

    • Pink Panther
      June 14, 09:29 Reply

      Hehehee. This relentless chyking bikonu. Francis, flench with this dude already.

        • Shuga chocolata
          June 14, 16:56 Reply

          I don’t Flench abi felch, thanks pp for proposing……

          Hahahahahah @francis dude you is not well????????

          But I do love you still???????????????????? (kisses in falz voice)

  10. Delle
    June 14, 12:37 Reply

    So I basically knew all of those above except The Extreme Freak. Pls, how is that stimulating (which should be the sole aim for all these sexual perversions, right?). Taking a dump on a human being? *faints*. And Felching?! Eewwww! People shaa…

    Ehen Duke, in your last post, you inferred being Top (not tagging you, you inferred so yourself)…so what r u using a popper for? Last I checked, it’s basically for bottoms (and versatiles).

    On a lighter note, why don’t we have ass worshippers in this country? *rme*

    • Duke
      June 14, 15:25 Reply

      That is what i thought too. But it gives a rush that a top may like to experience. Also, i got to experience its usefulness during “Bro-bonding”. Let me not give much away.

      • Delle
        June 14, 20:56 Reply

        Isn’t it addictive in anyway. Like only being able to have sex when you pop the stuff…

  11. lluvmua
    June 14, 14:29 Reply

    I remembered one time , a guy asked me to take a dump on him…..(faints) that just ended everything , before he could say Robinson , I don run comot….Lol…. thought it was for ritual or something………..#duke now I know better…..lol……. hi Francis….. *runs away*

    • Francis
      June 14, 14:35 Reply

      Hmmmmm, *paranoia and insecurities creep in* Holla ☺

  12. Duke
    June 14, 15:28 Reply

    I apologize for the misspelling. It is actually “Felch” and not “Flench”. In my rush to meet the deadline for submission, i made the error in spelling.

  13. Khaleesi
    June 14, 16:20 Reply

    Ohh Chi m!!! Fetishes dey this world sha!!

  14. pagxy
    June 14, 17:09 Reply

    Hmmmmm abi o onyibo ve seen it all and so they are always wanting some more adventure.smh.

  15. dabo
    June 14, 18:42 Reply

    well,I’ve done scat once, i basically shit on a tissue,then he shifts his head and lick my anus with shit all around it,i shit again,he licks… i didn’t throw up,if he had eaten the shit on the tissue,then i would have,it wasn’t intriguing to me in anyway, but he loved it soo much!

    • Drone
      June 14, 19:18 Reply

      *cringes into a corner and rocks to and fro, terrified*?

    • Delle
      June 14, 20:59 Reply

      Okay, this is the most irritating, puke-triggering, disgusting group of words I’ve had to read in my entire existence on earth!

    • dabo
      June 14, 21:17 Reply

      this isn’t even disgusting, he showed me videos of people eating shit,shitting on your partners body and rub it all over their body then lick it off,what he does is just lick the “fresh shit” (according to him) around the anus. i dunno what triggers this kinda fetish,but its really sick.

      • Delle
        June 15, 10:37 Reply

        Really sick? Hunnay, u did it too!
        There goes my breakfast…

  16. Reaper
    June 16, 21:33 Reply

    See me reading with all seriousness like I was going to take an exam afterwards.

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