Dear Diary,

I am starting to learn the lingo of gay online hookups. Unlike the arguably straightforward terms I was used to in Nigeria, here, there is always something new. It’s like every time, I bump into a new description of a preference I never thought existed, or some requirement a potential hook up must meet before he makes the move.

I will briefly write about them. Like I said, there is always something new and this is not an all-inclusive list. Some are self-explanatory while others are just outright outlandish. This will also give a better understanding of the other entries I will make on here.

It usually starts with “What are you looking to get into?” or the simple question “Into?” or the one that actually gets on my nerves for some reason: “Looking?” If I wasn’t looking, I wouldn’t be online!

Anyway, the fetishes and desires are endless:

The Oral Top: He is a Top but likes to play with his mouth. Apparently, Bottoms are the only ones that are supposed to please Tops orally, hence the oral top basically saying, “I will suck you like a Bottom but fuck you like a top.”

The masc4masc: Here, only ‘masculine guys’ are needed. So if you don’t hit the gym, have the baritone voice of Morgan Freeman and rock hard abs, you shouldn’t hit him up because he is supposedly ‘masculine’ and can only roll with guys like himself.

The PnP: I personally stay away from guys that have this on their profile. It means ‘Party and Play’, and no, “Party” does not mean cake and balloons and “Play” doesn’t mean time spent playing soccer. It means they use drugs and are pretty open to any sexual fantasy you want. Most times, this means bareback sex.

The Ass Worshipper: This guy just wants you to sit on his face or dominate him with your ass. Sometimes, he wants your ass musty and sweaty, so coming straight from the gym or work and taking a seat on his face and nostrils gives him intense pleasure. This type of guy loves athletic and fit guys, because the musky and masculine scent that has been marinated in underwear is what he desires. He is also not necessarily a Top. He could be a Bottom who wants a Top to exert his dominance using his manly, sweaty butt. Search for “Buttbully” on Google and you’ll get a hint of what I am talking about.

Safe Fun: Safe fun could mean what it sounds, like “safe sex”, or it could mean intense foreplay or sex without penetration. So you guys basically just kiss, romance and jerk off. It could also be called “Bro-bonding” or “Jerk off buddy”.

Mild to Wild: This guy is telling you he is flexible. He could be a gentle sex mate or a freak in the sheets, with you tying him up and doing whatever. He could be a demon or an angel. You could kiss him and cuddle or spit on him and gag him. Anything you want.

The Popper: The Popper or Popper-friendly guy is the one who uses alkyl nitrites. This is a recreational drug in a small bottle that helps relaxation during sex. Inhaling nitrites relaxes smooth muscles throughout the body. Smooth muscles surround the body’s blood vessels and, when relaxed, causes these vessels to dilate, resulting in an immediate decrease in blood pressure. Alkyl nitrites are often used as a club drug or to enhance a sexual experience. They facilitate anal intercourse by relaxing the internal and external anal sphincter muscles.

I have had my experience with this ‘devil in a tiny bottle’ and I will share that with you soon, Diary.

The Fetish Wrestler: This guy is turned on by a mild or sometimes intense wrestle before going down. In fact, sometimes the winner gets to top and loser gets to bottom. So if you didn’t douche before coming, you better win that fight.

The “Race Specific” Guy: This guy states clearly the race he wants a potential hookup to be. It may sound racist till you see a white guy who says he wants “Black Cock Only”. Some go the extra mile to warn that if someone not from the specified race hits them up, they’ll be swift to block the defaulter. Of course, there are those who want guys from the same race: White-White, Black-Black etc. Some actually highlight all the races that they are interested in, subtly saying something along the lines of “Preferably into White and Latino guys, no hate, just a preference.” But no need to fret, Black dick is still the most wanted for some reason, so I guess we are still good.

The Poz Guy: This guy has HIV, is on treatment and clearly tells you in his profile that if you can’t deal with that, you can go fuck yourself because it is 2016! In fact, some tell you they prefer bareback because they are HIV positive undetectable and they are technically “safe”.

The PReP Guy: This guy, like the Poz guy, is on treatment but more as a preventive measure. PReP is now seen as a gateway to having unprotected sex over here, and most times, this falls into the mild to wild category aforementioned. So in other words, any way you want to fuck, safe or unsafe, this guy is ready for you.

The Extreme Freak: This guy wants some things done to him that may be considered weird. This includes, but not limited to, the Golden Shower, which is peeing on him; Scat or Brown Bath, which is taking a dump on him; Bondage, which is tying him up and whipping him; Foot Worship, which means he wants to worship your feet with or without socks, sometimes with the stink in his face and nostrils.

Felch: This means kissing a guy with cum in your mouth. It could be his, yours or both. It is basically the exchange of cum with kissing.

Host/Travel: Host means your house is available for the hookup, and Travel means you would rather go over to meet the person using a means of transport.

Muscle Worship: This guy wants a guy with muscles so he can “worship” those big biceps and thighs. He basically wants to kiss, be smothered or dominated by thick power-lifting type of guys.

Written by Duke

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