THE GAY AGENDA

THE GAY AGENDA

I have a number of homophobic colleagues who, these days, have proven more and more to be too airheaded for me to engage with. There is this girl who works with me, a very homophobic bigot who believes that Donald Trump is the best thing to happen to humanity since sliced bread. She is also a big fan of Apple and swears by i-everything. So one day, I told her that Tim Cook, the Apple CEO, is gay. She didn’t previously know this, and seeing as they are always talking about the gay agenda in my workplace, I decided to troll her further. I told her that Tim Cook was one of the largest gay donors, who writes millions of dollars in cheques every year to organizations that fight for LGBT rights the world over. Now Tim Cook’s claim to wealth primarily is from Apple; therefore the people who are really funding the gay agenda are apple users like her, customers who spend their money to buy Apple devices. She was predictably shook as this realization sunk in. And I was thoroughly delighted. When I was done trolling her, I advised her to buy a Giione phone instead, so as not to further the gospel of homosexuality with her money.

Everywhere you turn, you hear about the Gay Agenda. My boss once said that TV shows are normalizing homosexuality and “shoving it in our faces, turning our children gay.” I remember when I was at a reading for Chinelo Okparanta’s Under the Udala Trees; and someone in the audience said that Okparanta was using the novel to push the homosexual agenda, never mind that she was merely telling a story and at no point in the story did she say everyone should be gay. We hear about this Gay Agenda everywhere and it has fast become one of the favorite things for Nigerians to talk about on social media.

Now, we all know that there is no Gay Agenda; yes, we have organizations advocating for the rights of LGBT people because LGBT rights are Human Rights and a majority of the countries in the world today are signatories to the 1945 UN Charter on Human Rights without any caveats. So LGBT people really should be treated like every other person. If this were done, there wouldn’t be any need for an agenda – real or perceived.

So let me reiterate: there is no gay agenda. But I think that there should be, particularly in Nigeria with its system of LGBT dehumanization. I believe in power, and most importantly, I believe that money is power, and the kind of battle we are embroiled in is one that requires a lot of resources to win. I was talking to a friend the other day and I said to him that when I have the means, I will set up an LGBT organization which will operate differently from what we have today. Now, I must say that organizations like TIERs, Population Council, BAF, ICARH and others are doing fantastic work in sexual healthcare, advocacy and legal support; however there is a strong need to create soldiers from the community who will effect change from within. Of all the microbes that exist, I appreciate viruses the most because of their ability to invade a host and use the host cells to make copies of themselves, destroying the host in the process. Basically viruses win from within.

There is therefore a need for a system that empowers LGBT people and sets them loose into the Nigerian society to effect change from within. We need to have organizations that give scholarships to LGBT people to attend the best universities across the world and return home to Nigeria to take up key jobs. We need mechanisms through which LGBT persons can access funding to start businesses and train them on how to grow their businesses into successful enterprises. We also need mechanisms to enable people acquire skills in tech, fashion, art etc. – valuable skills which can be used to earn decent income. Listen to me, my brethren and sisthren, as an LGBT person in Nigeria, the singular most powerful tool you will have is money because, let me tell you the truth, being gay in Nigeria is not the problem. The problem is to be gay and poor. You don’t hear or read any reports of the police raiding gay parties in high-scale districts like Ikoyi and VGC. No. Such raids only ever occur in the suburbs and lower income neighborhoods of Lagos. The same applies to other major metropolitan areas in Nigeria; the targeted raids and kito experiences almost always happen in the areas that are characterized by middle to lower class living.

I recently went on a date with a sixty-something-year-old gay man. He never got married but he has two kids who are all grown up now. It literally went from being a date to a question-and-answer session; I asked him everything about the Nigerian gay scene in the 70s and 80s, how they hooked up, the parties they had (which he said happened mostly at the Marina) and all that jazz. He talked about his friends who died of AIDS and how he eventually left Nigerian to Europe. However as we were wrapping up, I told him that his generation of gay men and women failed us; they left us no resources or any guide. They simply did nothing to direct us. And to my censure, he responded, “Dennis, in my time, all we wanted to do was survive. No one cared about gay rights and shit. So I ask that your generation which has the power of information should do everything possible so that the people coming behind you will not table before you this accusation you have set before me now.”

So my brethren and sisthren, we need to articulate our Gay Agenda in these parts. And for that to happen, for our agenda to grow and succeed, we need to be fortified, focused, powerful – soldiers. We shouldn’t be concerned only with surviving. We should have ‘woke’ LGBT people infiltrate government agencies and subtly try to influence policies where they can. If we have two soldiers for example sitting on the board of a company, such a company will not have a homophobic policy. Most of you here know the KDian who goes by the pseudonym, Sensei. What you don’t know is that he pays the school fees of three young gay boys who are from families without means, and he is trying to give them a good start in life. He is doing this within his limited resources, but imagine if those of us who are established could all commit to doing things like this. There is so much we can do beyond talking on social media. We can become powerful if we want to, and believe me, it is the way we can win. I have talked about helping other gay people who are competent; if your company is hiring, look for LGBT people with the skill set that is required and help them. If you have the power to engage vendors, look for people in the community who can deliver the job and give them the contract. Let us think towards this direction, and by god (or by hardcore gay porno for those without any faith, lol), let us articulate this Gay Agenda they accuse us of having. And let us push it by any means necessary.

Written by Dennis Macaulay

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27 Comments

  1. Francis
    October 12, 07:56 Reply

    I recently went on a date with a sixty-something-year-old gay man Ndi uwa ATTACK!

    Allow me to highlight look for people in the community WHO CAN DELIVER the job and give them the contract. Let’s not make the mistake of doing what tribalism has taught us to do. Na my brother doesn’t help anyone. Can your brother get the job done efficiently and effectively well? That’s what should matter the most.

    • Mandy
      October 12, 08:21 Reply

      The fact is the issue of that kind of nepotism is yet to even take root within the gay community. Let us get to the point where gay men give fellow gay men the leg-up whether they are qualified to deliver or not, then we can start addressing the part of qualification. We are too busy trying to separate our sexual lives from our professional lives to consider the fact that we can be our brothers’ keepers, irregardless of our sexual connection.

      • Francis
        October 12, 08:29 Reply

        I beg to differ biko. Let’s start on the right note. Na so corruption start and we are yet to find a way out of it.

        • Delle
          October 12, 09:14 Reply

          Umm Francis dear, I think at this point in our lives, we can afford to be a sentimental towards our “brothers” and “sisters” whilst still paying close attention.

          A lot of times, training can do wonders. Anyway, whatever be the case, let’s be giving these jobs to OUR people. Professionals or amateurs.
          That’s my own.

          • Francis
            October 12, 09:17 Reply

            I can’t be giving job to someone that will mess up and people will now be judging me based on his actions. Hell No. I no do.

      • trystham
        October 12, 09:49 Reply

        Biko, I disagree. I hold gay ppl in such high esteem and as such think them to be the best at what they do (except for an obvious few). I can’t condone mediocrity and shoddy jobs because we share the same sexuality.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      October 12, 09:51 Reply

      Sweetheart I gave a caveat; “With the skill set that is required” “those who can deliver the job”. I will never advocate mediocrity or nepotism but there are gay people who can get the job done. I hired one recently myself and it is refreshing to have ‘my person’ on my team. He knows where the boundaries are of course, relates to me as his boss but its great to share private jokes every now and then and make quips about people’s butts in meetings 😂😂😂

    • Jo
      October 12, 10:07 Reply

      Thank you!
      I was sha getting a little worried till I got to that point. Apart from being gay, the person should also be deserving/competent.

  2. Mandy
    October 12, 08:17 Reply

    I’m still stuck on the part where Sensei is paying the school fees of three young boys. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 That’s the most admirable thing I’ve read in a long while.

  3. Absalom
    October 12, 08:18 Reply

    Lol. What did Gionee do you all?

  4. Canis VY Majoris
    October 12, 08:29 Reply

    Whenever there is A job opening in my organisation. I send it to only gay people.

    I am allowed to be biased. I’m sick of these straight folks shoving their straight-ness in my face 😞

  5. Malik
    October 12, 09:04 Reply

    I read this article and I expect to see more articles in the comments section. I assume two certain people aren’t online yet. But I can wait.

    • Delle
      October 12, 09:15 Reply

      Personally, I don’t want to see the comment of one of the persons *shrugs*

    • Francis
      October 12, 09:15 Reply

      😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

  6. Tangie Bloom
    October 12, 09:56 Reply

    This!

    I have been thinking and thinking about ways to give the LGBT community a leg-up for a long time. A friend suggest some kind of fraternity (Greek society not secret cult, for the Nollywood lovers on here) and I thought that was a swell idea.

    Think about an exclusive society of well-to-do LGBT people whose main goal is the advancement of people in their community (much like an exclusive brotherhood at Harvard would operate). This sort of thing could revolutionalise our country.

    But how does one even begin to broach this kind of topic in a country like Nigeria? Those with the means are too cautious to be associated (even secretly) with others for personal fear. How would it even work?

  7. trystham
    October 12, 10:04 Reply

    Sadly, they will ask me that same qxn o and i won’t be able to give answer. I’m all for being influential in your niches, but that shii scares the living daylights out of me. I just like ‘survival mode’ better. I have had to tone down on my aggressiveness at work and play the minute I am saddled with extra responsibility.

  8. Sensei
    October 12, 10:18 Reply

    Haba, DM! You should have asked for my permission before sharing this. Pinky you sef. And I did not say that I was paying fees. Specifically said I was “offering financial support”. This is would make it seem I’m going about “taking the glory” for their schooling and I feel mortified. I have never breathed this information to a any soul except you. Some of these young friends read KD. How will they feel when they read this? And these are people that are very important to me. No one wants to feel like a charity case. Oga why na?

    • Foxydevil
      October 12, 10:42 Reply

      A man of class and proper refinement.
      Don’t beat up yourself , some people wouldn’t know what class means, even if you threw it at them.
      Only a tacky person would share a secret you told them in confidence in a “public anonymous ” forum without even consulting you, just to make a point.
      And you wonder why I don’t keep friends (phew)

      But you are a wonderful person and I commend your actions.
      Those kids are lucky to have someone as wonderful as you are in their lives. 😊😘.

    • Sensei
      October 12, 12:28 Reply

      @Foxydevil, DM meant well. But not informing me was an error on his part. I regret that something that was written with good intention ended up making all the parties involved feel this way.

    • Baddest
      October 13, 14:33 Reply

      Someone that cannot keep a simple secret will also out anybody he sleeps with aswell,so sorry sensi please next time use your sense and keep things to yourself to avoid people like this selling out ur name and secret on a platform like this

  9. Foxydevil
    October 12, 10:28 Reply

    Mmmmh….
    An interesting article to say the least…
    I love the honesty from the writer, I love his passion and I think he means well…
    But I whole heatedly and utterly disagree with this article.

    First, let’s talk about “gay agenda ”
    The feudal meaning says it was a term introduced by the churches… an agenda of some sort that aims to turn everyone to a homosexual.
    A delusional and demented theory nonetheless….
    But over the years, this agenda supposedly took life and sprang up.
    And this isn’t an agenda to turn the whole universe to homosexuals, this is an agenda to recant all the societal impression of the gay community, to normalise being gay and to make people, the churches, the republicans etc see that it is perfectly normal to be gay, that being gay is not abnormal or detrimental to the society, that gay people can be as productive, as useful as their straight counterparts . Why do you think the role of gay people are beginning to amp up in movies and TV ? no longer the role of an effeminate male that tags along with the lead actress dressed in drags and doing the Hulu …..now gays are playing politicians, presidents, kings and lords.
    The gay agenda does exist, but it has been restructured and redefined.

    Now onto the second point …
    Which I find quite disheartening.
    In your attempt to promote a change, you’ve done nothing but make homosexuals look incompetent, desperate and incapable.
    Poverty is a general phenomenon, no one is exempted .
    Not all homosexuals are good people, not all straight people are bad people.
    Ascribing help predominantly to people who share the same sexuality with you, proves to me you are of a small mind. Short sighted with very limited perspective.
    Jobs should be given on qualifications ,merits and credibility not because of sexuality.
    Help should be offered to people who need it the most .
    The movement called “acceptance ” was built for equality ,where every man is judged by his worth and not given an edge or impeded because of his sexuality.
    If this agenda your are purporting happens, then we are no different from the homophobic lots.
    A new term should be coined “heterophobia ”

    I wouldn’t even bother to address that ridiculous thing you insinuated, about only the poor getting kitoed, let’s just leave it at that, because I’m in a dire need to conclude (I’ve had this ridiculous headache since morning, I do need some aspirin and a little bit of water)

    Conclusion….
    Homosexuality is very similar to racism.
    A constant battle against what is regarded as the ideal
    In the case of racism (whites)
    In the case of homosexuals (the opposite sex)
    And a black man tells his child what?
    You have to work twice as hard, you have to be twice as good.
    In the world that is constantly trying to suppress us, you don’t make headway by taking offers you don’t deserve based on your sexuality, you make a difference by impacting enough in yourself, that you are over qualified for the job.
    Let’s enact hard work into the gay man’s mindset, let’s teach them they are more than their dicks and assess ,that instead of jumping from one social media platform to another, constantly searching for the next cheap hook up, they should be studying, acquiring skills, engaging in productive things and aspiring high like the apple CEO you just mentioned.
    We do not have the luxury of normalcy, most of us grew up before we should, balancing your sexuality with your psychology is a tasking and audacious affair.
    But we survived and we are still here.
    Give jobs to people that deserve it ,impact on the gay folks enough to deserve it.
    🚶.

  10. Wytem
    October 12, 12:20 Reply

    Brother Foxy….
    You are actually saying the same thing as Dennis.
    You differ in about 15-20% of the entire submission.

  11. Lopez
    October 12, 14:00 Reply

    How Negative, Foxy chill and see d positive side of things. Am not sure what u r always trying to portray but u don’t have to be a bitch. I personally don’t always agree with Dennis (lots of show up in his articles) but this is a good job.

  12. Tyler
    October 13, 21:41 Reply

    Mehn you guys have serious issues. Writing a long epistle just to show off is appalling. DM meant well just let him be.sensei I feel you should have contacted DM after reading this to state your stance and he will come back here to make corrections.

  13. Tyler
    October 13, 21:44 Reply

    I did my first degree in Unilag and I’m doing my master’s now.I was and still being sponsored by a Gay man.we’re not related, we never had sex,he saw me,believed in me and took charge.so let’s help each other when we see potential.

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