A contact of mine on BBM once put up as his display picture the photo of a friend of his who’s not based in Nigeria and who it seemed was transitioning into a woman. As his pm, my friend, Tim (not his real name) wrote: “I can’t believe Bob has become a woman. My Bob is now Angelique. I’ll continue to pray for you.”

After reading this, I asked Tim: “Do you think this guy who is transitioning needs your prayers?”

He replied with a narrative that Bob is a man and shouldn’t be changing himself to a woman, and so, yes, he needs to pray for him because the procedure is not reversible and Bob was apparently going against the will of God.

At this, I had a very good laugh. And then I said to him, “You do realize this is the same thing as a heterosexual saying he wants to pray for you because you’re gay?”

And Tim said, “It’s not the same thing. I can stop being gay anytime I want, but Bob is changing himself.”

That one statement left me in a state of shock. And as I rode that shock, I asked him, “Since you’re ‘temporarily’ gay, what are you doing on my BBM posing as a gay man? Why would you choose to ‘temporarily’ live a life of secrecy and fear? Why deceive ‘real’ gay people who may have developed actual feelings for you? And please, when do you intend flipping this gay switch you have to change to a straight dude?”

The rest of the conversation was basically a blur as he went on a rant about how he’d stop having sex with men when he turns thirty-five, and how he was not really being gay. He was in the middle of his self righteous indignation when I moved over and clicked the beautiful delete button. And he was gone. I was just really disgusted.

I decided to find out how common the gay switch was by asking some of my BBM contacts if they too had this fine switch I had come to know about. While most of them laughed and dismissed it as stupid, there were some who apparently would soon stop being gay, and like the second coming of our Lord, they were gone from my BBM without warning. Till date, I don’t understand why anyone would like to say that he chose to be gay, with all the shit gay people have to put up with. And then they’d go on to declare that they can just stop whenever they want – this coming from those I am very sure can’t stand the sight of a pussy and readily perform full splits on a BBC.

Well, to each his own, I guess.

And you – do you have the gay switch?

Written by Brad

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