Let me tell you about Simi now. Simi was the first girl to break my heart. I can’t even make up a pseudonym for her, that’s how much she hurt me.
Oyesimisola is her name. She is as beautiful as a light summer rain in London. But she was no Diana. She was the first person I liked after I came out to the public. Here’s the story.
I graduated from secondary school in 2015. A lot of schools were planning after-parties. I am a good party hyper, as my set boys know, so they put me in a couple of party group chats. I met Simi in one. I had just come out as bisexual to my set. They took it well enough, seeing as everyone already knew I was in love with Diana. A couple of them decided to help me get some pussy, which was why I was added to the group where I met Simi. Such nice friends, yeah?
So I met Simi and we got talking; I found out that she lived close to me. We discussed a million and one things and then I set a day to go see her, to meet her in person. That happened and I started liking her after that.
We kept texting and seeing each other, and then I told her I liked her and she said she liked me too. We kept texting and seeing each other, and then I asked her out and she said no, that she didn’t do relationships, but perhaps later in the future, but for now, let us just be us. Idiot me couldn’t get the hint; I kept buying her snacks, waiting for her to finish her diploma classes in Unilag so that we could go home together, paying for her transport.
Now, I must remind you that I am a gentle woman, so I didn’t try anything untoward with her. I just kissed the top of her head when she was about to retire to her house and let her kiss my cheek.
There came the day I wanted to kiss her. The sun had just set and my compound was dark and empty with the moon behind my house.
“Can I kiss you? Please?” I asked, with my mouth hovering just above hers, ready to swoop in once permission was given.
She said no, nicely. When she got home, she texted me, saying I should have just done it without asking her. Oh well, opportunity came and went.
We got closer and really began to catch feelings for each other, and her friends got used to seeing me with her; we were always together. I made a friend around that time; his name is Remi. He was cool and we used to flirt with each other and make out sometimes. I told him about Simi and then I took him to meet her. He liked her, and then he joked that he could have her. I was triggered. I said he couldn’t, and then it ended up in a bet on if he could take her from me.
Stupid? Yes, I know. But here’s the thing. I get triggered when someone attempts to possess what is mine or what I have invested in. And when I’m triggered, I do stupid things; it’s like my brain shuts down.
So Remi and I went to see Simi a day before Valentine’s Day. He was flirting with her and she was flirting back. I was jealous and regretful. I should have never given him permission to pursue her. I sat back while they talked and The Weeknd sang. I thought of the plans I had made for Valentine’s Day with Simi. A cake was to be delivered to my house, a dozen roses which had cost me 24,000 naira would be delivered to her house with chocolates, and then we would do dinner at Café Royale.
When she stepped out of the sitting room, Remi wanted to pop a pill. I told him not to, because Simi had a big problem with people who smoke weed and pop pills. She’s very pastoral about it. We were arguing about it when Simi came back in. She wanted to know what we were talking about. I didn’t want to spoil a nigga’s ministry, so I refrained from telling her about the pills.
Well, fuck me very much for being nice. She got pissed, said some things, and I decided to leave. As I was about to leave, she said something that stopped me short. She told me she didn’t like me anymore. I thought she was kidding, and so I asked if she was sure, and with the nastiest expression, she snarled, “I don’t love you. I lied. I don’t even like you. I never liked you.”
I used to think I didn’t have a heart after Diana. But chai! When Simi said those words and I felt the pain in my chest, I knew my heart was breaking.
I managed to get home…eventually. And then I set about saving myself from a Valentine mess. I canceled my order on the flowers; I had to paid cancelation fee, but I got 20k out of the 24 back. I also canceled my reservation with Café Royale; luckily, they had someone who picked up my table immediately, so I didn’t pay for that. I forgot to cancel the order for the cake, so Sunday afternoon saw me opening the gate to a happy-looking couple who delivered my cake to me, congratulating me on my young love. I swore for their destinies in my head while I smiled at them. My family and I ate the cake and I cried myself to sleep that night and other nights for a week.
Then my friend gave me a strip tease and I cried no more.
For this episode o! lol
P.S: Iliana’s voice is amaaazzzinggg.