43 responses

  1. Mandy
    August 1, 2016

    You’re such a no-nonsense gay man, Absalom. ? This piece was ruthlessly on point.

    Reply

  2. bruno
    August 1, 2016

    good post. can’t help but feel a lot of it is akin to preaching to the choir though… most parts of the post belong on your facebook page not kd.

    Reply

    • Francis
      August 1, 2016

      Have some faith for once na ????

      Reply

      • bruno
        August 1, 2016

        *sigh* francis my comment wasn’t negative. i agree with every word of the post.

        Reply

      • Absalom
        August 1, 2016

        Lol, Bruno: I didn’t take this to my Facebook because I’m not out. I’m guessing you know how that feels.

        Besides the article is also published on a mainstream blog.

        Also, the reason I brought it to a KD audience is because in my experience a lot of gay people are reluctant to call out prejudice or don’t see it at all. I’ve seen gay folk tout as “pro-gay” posts that are patronising and subliminally insulting to us. I thought Darren’s post opened up an opportunity for us in-house to talk about that. If we don’t know when we are being insulted, how can we complain about it?

        Reply

      • Francis
        August 1, 2016

        At first read, I thought you were shading Kdians that would just gloss over this post.

        Reply

  3. MagDiva
    August 1, 2016

    I am actually quite offended by the first half of this write up and had to scroll down to quickly see who wrote it in a bid to calm myself down.

    So out of EVERYTHING Darren wrote that is all you took away. Not his abuse, not that the paedophile was still out there probably still molesting others. He called him a homosexual (a person who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex) and a paedophile ( a person who is sexually attracted to kids) because that’s what he fucking is!!!

    If you read anymore into it, then, I’m afraid that’s your Interpretation. This is the equivalent of me being described to someone as the small black woman. Should I take offence because the person wasn’t politically correct enough for my liking and didn’t say “female of colour”?? Or “brown lady”

    Sometimes our anger and quibbles over semantics makes us seem petty and detracts from the real problem.

    “Sometimes I think non-LGBT persons need to try being gay for a day, so they can actually get it” –

    Sometimes I think men need to try being women for a day so that they can actually understand how real PMT is.

    Sometimes I think white people need to be black for a day so they actually get it.

    even if all of the above happened we would never actually get it. Why? Because everyone’s experience is different. Even collectively! Because no two people are the same

    Because all we can hope for is a better understanding and to learn to walk beside someone else, and attempt to see things, a small glimmer from their perspective.

    Because not being you for a day, doesn’t mean I’m not able to empathize or capable of identifying and understanding your feelings, without experiencing it myself.

    Reply

    • Francis
      August 1, 2016

      Because not being you for a day, doesn’t mean I’m not able to empathize or capable of identifying and understanding your feelings, without experiencing it myself

      In my experience, there’s a big difference between empathy for other people’s struggles and empathy for other people’s struggles which you’ve actually experienced first hand.

      Having experienced it before makes that empathy stick around for life or much more longer without suddenly shifting into “get over it already *RME*” mode.

      Reply

      • ambivalentone
        August 1, 2016

        and he points out that even if the experiences are the same, perceptions would still be different. I do know of self-made people from poor backgrounds who HATE poor people and self-made people who wud do anything to help poor ppl.

        Reply

    • Dimkpa
      August 1, 2016

      I think you judged the first part of the post wrongly. He acknowledged the suffering that Darren went through at the very beginning.

      As someone who has argued with learned people about homosexuality, I can relate with the situation that most people equate homosexuality with paedophilia and this despite the fact that heterosexual men molest far more girls than homosexual men molest boys.

      Darren’s concluding part is quite telling; he was molested by a paedophile but hated all “homosexuals” afterwards. He didn’t mention hating all child molesters or paedophiles which points to a belief that homosexuality and paedophilia are one and the same.

      This I believe should be pointed out, and does not to necessarily detract from the trauma he went through.

      Reply

      • Pink Panther
        August 1, 2016

        THIS!!!

        Reply

  4. Francis
    August 1, 2016

    When a “writer” decides to come down to my level to break it down. ??????

    Thanks for pointing out the many shades of homophobia abi homophobic prejudice.

    Reply

  5. ambivalentone
    August 1, 2016

    While Magdiva IS right on the fact that the uncle was molested as a child and child molestation is another sin I cannot condone, I have come to realise that anyone who starts statements with “I’m not LGBT but I have a lot of LGBT friends” is either going to spew homophobic trash or reinfornce his LGBT membership status.

    This tho “Apparently when we contract the job out to non-gays , all they do is fuck it up. Mtscheeeeew!!'” Add pseudo gays too to this list abeg *jejely collects my gay back*

    Reply

  6. Jamie
    August 1, 2016

    Darren was a friend of mine on Facebook. …It’s cos I’m equally an atheist humanist…but he sure knows of my gay sexuality and stance, though doesn’t know me in person. Prior to this outing process of his, he unfriended me. When I noticed the post here and went back to solicit with him, I saw ”Add friend” before ”Message”. I didn’t say a word to him anymore, even though I could have commented on his post!! I believe he hates me; or should I say, hates me too?

    Reply

  7. Truth
    August 1, 2016

    I’m always on Darren’s post, marking attendance, but that particular post about a gay predator felt a bit off. And you’ve just highlighted my exact sentiments about the post. I don’t have much to add to what you’ve written, you’ve said it all.
    Let’s stop making excuses for privileged homophobes; some of us are so used to witnessing homophobia that we don’t even notice it anymore.

    and this– “Just as some gay people miss the fact that Linda Ikeji is a homophobe”

    So TRUE

    Reply

    • Francis
      August 1, 2016
      • posh6666
        August 1, 2016

        My God I actually know two of this guys…Linda is a bitch for casting this boys out like this.They are nigerian boys who just happen to be schooling abroad and obviously have plans of coming back home sooner or later jeez!

        Reply

      • ambivalentone
        August 1, 2016

        Just read that. I know some people will say homophobes are a stupid bunch of people, but THIS Linda….there would not be the word ‘idiot’ if she hadn’t been born

        Reply

      • Truth
        August 1, 2016

        Oh lawd ???. I know those boys. I went to the same school with one.

        Reply

      • posh666
        August 1, 2016

        Same here…Linda is a ruthless bitch who will stoop to the lowest to generate traffic.Its all about the coins for her.Several times I said it here that she only uses Onyx n Denrele to spice up her blog and they actually believe she cares about them haba!

        Reply

      • Pink Panther
        August 1, 2016

        Denrele???

        Reply

      • posh666
        August 1, 2016

        Yes na she does post his pics from time to time when she’s thirsty for some major traffic cos she knows Denrele’s persona tends to generate a rave…She will first make a short hypocritical epistle of how he’s her bestie and all way back from unilag and then post some of his pics..

        In my mind I will be like bitch u are doing it for the traffic cos you know how much Nigerians hate him..No one will handle her bestie the way she handles him and make a whole post about him when you know how much he’s hated…

        You can search through Google about Denrele on Linda i’m sure links will pop out…Watever really!

        Reply

      • Pink Panther
        August 1, 2016

        You missed the point of why I mentioned his name. The way you mentioned his name with Onyx, you made it seem like Denrele has the same kind of dependent relationship with Linda that Onyx has with her, when you said this:

        ‘Several times I said it here that she only uses Onyx n Denrele to spice up her blog and they actually believe she cares about them haba!’

        Denrele is celebrity; I don’t think he cares what Linda does with his pictures or news about him, the way Onyx does.

        Reply

      • posh666
        August 1, 2016

        Oh ok I get you now…

        Reply

      • Francis
        August 1, 2016

        Denerele no dey send when he’s dropping her gist like it’s hot. ….like he did for one interview with DaddyFreeze and Chigul. Unfortunately the matter no catch better fire. Lol

        Reply

      • DI-NAVY
        August 1, 2016

        oh wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is creepy….. How did she get the picture??? Did anybody leak it…. kai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is unfair. smh

        Reply

      • Pink Panther
        August 1, 2016

        Something that’s already on instagram. Perhaps the guys don’t even care.

        Reply

      • DI-NAVY
        August 1, 2016

        The truth of the matter is, I have been to Linda’s house. whined and dined with her. Most of the people who work for her are gays. I mean those ‘gay and proud’ kind of guys. She feels so comfy with them. i used to think she posts onyx’s story and Denrele’s just for traffic. But now this????? WOW!!! JUST WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Or had it been the guys in question asked her to post the pic. who knows???

        Reply

      • posh666
        August 1, 2016

        That’s one thing that baffles me too I have seen some guys she hangs with who are really close to her who are definitely gays and some are even flambouyant in character…

        But then what baffles me is if you are gay friendly and you know how Nigerians react to such news with so much hatred why do you feel it’s ok for your so called “Friends” to wake up in the morning to hateful news and comments about their lifestlye and you claim you love them?you don’t think of the effects such things have on them???

        Reply

      • Pink Panther
        August 1, 2016

        With this post, I don’t care what friendships she keeps, it’s just clear Absalom is right. She IS a homophobe. Ptueh!

        Reply

      • Francis
        August 1, 2016

        I would never understand the kind of relationship she has with these gay men. I don’t even want to call it friendship sef. Both parties are probably in it for what they can get from one another. #SAD

        Reply

      • DI-NAVY
        August 1, 2016

        God forbid I and my partner get outted in Linda Ikeji. It will be so disastrous. I rather get outted on cosmopolitan or Essence magazine. Or somewhere tush. linda??? Honey I cant deal. the caption alone is so irksome. Reeks of hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Reply

      • Francis
        August 1, 2016

        ???????

        Razz outings dey get hazardous backlash.

        Reply

      • DI-NAVY
        August 1, 2016

        Blood of Mary ,Magdalene save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        I just looked well. i know that guy at the extreme left. wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unforgiveable permanent damage!!!!!!!!!!!*sobs*

        Reply

      • Pink Panther
        August 1, 2016

        Seriously, Linda! Is this woman for real?

        Reply

  8. DI-NAVY
    August 1, 2016

    They both look happy together. the grooms men are so dope. Linda this is cruel….

    Reply

  9. Klaus
    August 1, 2016

    deola,did you write this post on Stella’s blog too? like they lifted these exact same pictures,just changed the captions.. see

    http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2016/08/hilarious-in-house-memes.html?m=1

    Reply

    • Pink Panther
      August 1, 2016

      OHMYGOD!!!! This is blatant thievery!

      Reply

    • Francis
      August 1, 2016

      Na wa oh. That was fast ????

      Reply

    • Deola
      August 1, 2016

      I didnt. ???

      Reply

  10. Jo
    August 1, 2016

    Linda’s case sef…
    lmao…Stella na better thief joor.

    Reply

  11. Lorde
    August 1, 2016

    Finally, we are the strongest people I know, most of us are still doing excellently well, getting the best jobs(maybe cos of our attitude toward details), topping our classes, and still slaying with no stress. I don’t think a straight person has the mental ability to keep a brave face and excel if the world was “pointing a gun” @ them (figuratively ofcourse)

    Reply

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