THE LIE THAT IS “I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP”

THE LIE THAT IS “I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP”

As a corps member serving in Abuja, not much had changed in my life, compared to the introverted life I led in Lagos. My interactions with the gay community didn’t go beyond chatting on the various social media platforms; as much as I wanted to get to know people and make acquaintances in this new city, my anthropophobia would not make it easy for me to get out much. That and the fact that I was uneasy about possibly falling into the hands of unsavory characters. It didn’t help that after camp, Femi (a friend I made at the Anglican Corpers Fellowship (ACFON) Family House in Nyanya and a co-corper who had sought me out after he detected the unique sound of Grindr messages coming from my phone) had cautioned me about being very careful with online acquaintances. He also told me about how I was a topic of interest at a party, where the interested guys talked about raping, robbing and blackmailing me. If Femi had been trying to scare me into becoming anti-social, he succeeded, even though I could not imagine why anyone, especially someone who’s gay, would be so invested in hurting someone else in the community, especially someone who he has had no encounter with.

Anyway, all that aside, I had also just started seeing someone, and so I was content with not getting around.

It was raining that Monday evening and I was driving back home from a very long day at work, when my phone buzzed with an incoming message. The traffic was slow, so I could risk checking out the message. I picked up the phone to check who had buzzed me. It was my friend, Jamie. We’d been chat buddies on Instagram for several months, until he walked into a Cold Stone Creamery in Gwarimpa and upon recognizing me, came over to say hello, effectively moving our friendship from the internet to real life. He’d once queried me about being the famous Delle who writes for Kito Diaries, since I also go by the nickname “Dele”, and when I said I wasn’t KD’s Delle, he’d initially refused to believe me, because, well, that Delle just so happens to have lived in Lagos and is currently serving in Abuja. That kind of coincidence was too much for him to buy as just that, I suppose.

Anyway, back to his message on WhatsApp. He’d typed to me: Hello bae, yellow pawpaw, are you there?

Me: What is it, Jamie?

Jamie: Omalicha, na fight?

Me: I’m not in the mood for sweet words abeg. Get straight to the point.

I’d really had a very stressful day, and I would later regret taking it out on him.

Jamie: No vex o. Please, a boy of mine has been posted to Abuja for his NYSC. I don’t know if you could help him with accommodation. His name is Francis.

Me: What happened to your house? I thought you stay alone.

Jamie: I mean the ACFON Family House, the one you once stayed in.

Me: No problem. Give him my contact. But is he one of us?

Jamie: Yes, but very coded o.

Me: No o, me, I am not coded now. I wrote it on my forehead.

Jamie: LMAO. Person no fit play with you?

Me: Alright. Chat later.

Later that night, his friend Francis chatted me up. He told me about his arrival on Wednesday. We chitchatted for a while and from the way he responded, I could tell I was going to like him. After work on Wednesday, I drove to Nyanya and met up with Francis at a described junction. He was a good looking guy and quite interesting. I was pleased by the prospects of a potential friendship. We had dinner at nearby Chicken Republic, gisting over our meals about life, love, how NYSC had lost its relevance, and relationships. He said he was in a happy, steady relationship, and talked a lot about how loving and caring his boyfriend was, and how true they were to each other. I was pleased for him. After dinner, we headed over to the AFCON Family House, where I introduced him to the CS in charge of the house. He was welcomed and encouraged to settle in.

On Saturday, Francis asked me to go with him to see a friend of his in Jabi. I was hesitant at first but relented when after some pleading, he added that my presence would surely discourage this friend of his (Chidi) from trying anything with him. Apparently, this Chidi had been trying to get into his pants for a while now, even after Francis had made it clear that he was with someone.

So we set off to go see Chidi. He was an older man, dark, tall and not bad looking, who came to pick us up at Reiz Intercontinental Hotel where he’d told us to wait for him. He greeted me warmly and then started a conversation with Francis in their native Igbo. I’m not Igbo and didn’t understand what they were saying, and after enduring my cluelessness for some minutes, I finally blurted out impatiently, “Will you two speak English please? Thank you.” My outburst caused the two of them to start laughing, before they switched to English.

Chidi took us to his house. He stayed in a well-appointed self-contained apartment. He offered us eba with tasty goat melon soup, even though we had to wait a long while till when NEPA brought the light so he could microwave the soup. While we waited though, we sipped on some juice. At some point, it became quickly apparent that we would be spending the night at his. It was getting late and Francis didn’t seem in much of a hurry to get going. I didn’t mind myself.

When it was time to retire, Francis and I took the bed while Chidi slept on the couch. I must have gotten a few hours of sleep before I felt someone pawing my body and kissing my lips and face. I was half asleep and remember thinking in that sleepy daze that I was in Lagos and the person caressing me was the fuck buddy I had named Kunle. I could feel Kunle’s lips on mine, and then he was nibbling at my neck and sucking on my nipples. I was moaning as I reached for his crotch, encountering with my fingers a dick that was much too big to belong to Kunle. Something about that raging hard-on flipped me into full wakefulness and I sat up to see Chidi trying to turn me around to bury his head inside my cakes. I instantly pulled away from him, pulling his head away from me simultaneously, before hissing at him, “I am not interested. Thank you.”

A few tense seconds elapsed, during which we were just positioned there, looking at each other in the gloominess of the room. I don’t think he had seen my rejection coming, and for a brief microsecond, I thought he was going to force himself on me; I mean, he had after all started taking advantage of me in my sleep.

But then he pushed away from me and moved over to Francis. I watched in disbelief as Francis, the very same guy who had talked too often about his honest and true relationship, quickly woke up to Chidi’s caresses. The same Francis who had insisted that my company would help with him not making a mistake with Chidi was soon shucking his briefs and entangling his naked body and limbs with Chidi’s. He was moaning wildly as Chidi pounded him vigorously, their loud enjoyment of the sex causing me to start feeling horny. And my horniness in turn infuriated me as I lay there thinking about how gay men seemed to know no hesitation when it came to disrespecting their relationships. I mean, someone somewhere most likely believed that he had a committed boyfriend, one who was at this moment thrashing about to the fucking of another man.

When they were done, Chidi retired to the couch, and much to my shock and dismay, Francis reached out for me, clearly wanting me to have a piece of him as well. I told him no quietly and turned my back to him on the bed. I was suddenly anxious for daybreak so I could leave this place already.

However, for all my anxiety, I woke up quite late on Sunday morning. And upon remembering what had transpired here last night, my thoughts were transported to my new boyfriend, Hassan, and I found myself thinking about what he could possibly be up to, if he’d been propositioned by a guy looking to get into his pants, if he’d ever said no out of respect for what we had – or if he’d been like Francis and let his dick decide. I texted him as we left Chidi’s house, hoping we could get to see sometime soon. He texted back and we agreed to see the next morning at my workplace.

It was a crazy Monday morning as usual. But I was feeling upbeat by the thought of seeing my boyfriend. We’d agreed that he would drop by in the morning, but it was noon and he hadn’t shown up. My texts to him had gone unanswered. I had started to get worried, but I had work to do. My boss called me to take a file to the Dubai energy group office on the sixth floor. I was on my way across the hallways of the building when I saw my boyfriend – the very same guy I’d been expecting all morning, who had neither called nor texted – seated all cozied up and sharing a laugh with a guy who I’d come to learn he had a bit of history with. The guy worked in the building and according to Hassan, had an eye on my man. There’s also a bit of drama involved here, which is another story entirely – but adding up everything and it was enough for me to feel infuriated in that moment when I saw the two of them chatting and laughing.

It also didn’t help that when they saw me, Hassan gave a start, an expression of guilt that made it seem like I had caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. I had a brief flashback of Francis gushing about his boyfriend and his honest and true relationship, and another flashback of Francis moaning and clinging to another man’s shoulders as the man ravaged his ass.

I didn’t say a word to him. I walked past, on my way to get done with my errand. When I returned to my office, it was to meet him in the reception. He immediately accosted me, taking me aside to start giving me excuses why he hadn’t been around when he said he would, why he hadn’t responded to my messages, and why what I saw earlier wasn’t what it seemed. He said he’d been trying to reach me ever since he got to the office building and while he was waiting, that guy had seen him and approached him for them to gist awhile.

As I listened to him, I struggled to believe him. It could have all happened as innocently as he described. Or he could be another Francis. Besides, he’d asked me for some money earlier and coming to collect it was part of the reason we were supposed to see. When he said he was sorry, I wondered if he was apologising for creating an impression that was false, or if he was apologising for the benefit of the money he was expecting from me.

I didn’t know what to believe anymore.

But I let it go. We talked. I gave him the money he’d asked for. We were having a companionable conversation, when I took his phone and idly began to go through his WhatsApp messages. I wasn’t snooping; I mean, he was right there, telling me about a party he’d attended during the weekend. I didn’t think I was going to find anything. I just kept seeing Francis in my mind’s eye, and the image mad eme almost robotically flick from message to WhatsApp message.

And then I found it – the message I wasn’t looking for. A conversation between my boyfriend and a friend of his, where he was regaling his friend about how a Mr. Something and Mr. Some-other-thing had fucked him a few days ago. There were mentions of nude pictures and sex videos as well.

As I read the confirmation of my fears, I felt something rip apart in my heart. My eyes were burning as though there were tears begging to be shed. But no tears were coming. I just stood there, staring at Hassan’s betrayal. He must have sensed the shift in my mood, because he snatched his phone from my hand.

But I had already seen it all.

“It’s over,” I said to him as I stood up.

“No, no, no, it’s not what you think…” he began pleading.

“Goodbye, Hassan. We are done.”

I was walking back into the office and he was coming after me with his pleas. I instructed the security man to throw him out, and without another backward glance at him, walked away into the office. He called and apologized. I accepted his apology and still maintained that we were done.

There was no going back for me. When someone has let slip to you who they are when you’re not around them, you better believe that that is who they truly are.

Written by Sworld

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48 Comments

  1. Ronnie
    October 14, 05:46 Reply

    I can relate very well with this your story and it’s so saddening what “some” cheating partners take relationship to be.I experienced something similar to yours this lastweek but I’m taking my time to deal with the situation.Like a quote i have, some people will cheat even when the situation in the relationship is good.It is just in their DNA but the community to me still have a long way to go concerning such.I think the sad thing is, a faithful guy gets a cheating partner(Life isn’t fair).

  2. trystham
    October 14, 06:33 Reply

    You apparently invested TOO much in a short-while relationship. Your naivete is laughable and your ‘busybodiness’ is off the charts

    • Lonz
      October 14, 08:01 Reply

      A bit too salty don’t you think

    • Pink Panther
      October 14, 08:56 Reply

      I find your derision very insensitive and appalling.
      First of all, yes he came off as naive. But how is that laughable? Naivete is not a bad thing. Do you know what is a bad thing though? Cheating on someone who has an expectation of commitment from you in a relationship.

      Secondly, you say he invested too much in a short while relationship. I’m sorry, but what investment is too much? Expecting that the person you’re dating shouldn’t fuck other people? That’s the TOO much investing? At what point is that investing okay to have? Six months? A year? Perhaps when he has committed his heart? Is that when it’s OK to expect that your boyfriend shouldn’t cheat on you?

      And thirdly, it is my understanding that to be a busybody is when someone is being too extra in a situation that’s not his business. How extra was the writer being about his own relationship that qualifies the accusation of him being a busybody?

      You people sha. The extent y’all go to denigrate people who are genuinely going through personal struggles that you apparently can’t identify with is just baffling.

      • Shakur
        October 14, 12:31 Reply

        This pink panther will just disscect people’s opinion. His comment is his opinion. Must everyone agree with you? People will always have different views you need to accept that…

        • Pink Panther
          October 14, 17:00 Reply

          You’re very stupid for saying this. So I can’t disagree with someone else’s opinion? It’s his opinion, yes. But I reserve the right to disagree if I find it offensive. If you live a life of accepting everything you see, both good and bad, keep it for yourself. Don’t bring that attitude out here expecting everyone else to go through life as miserably as you do.

          • KingB
            October 14, 18:48 Reply

            Don’t condescend so low please Some people don’t deserve your response.

          • trystham
            October 14, 21:23 Reply

            This is mosdef NOT Pink Panther. He can act like an annoying Devil’s advocate but calling someone ‘stupid’ outright…

            • Pink Panther
              October 15, 04:01 Reply

              Oh it’s me alright. And calling out your insensitivity is not me acting like a Devil’s advocate (although I see how you’d find it annoying, considering it is a call-out of your bad behaviour). It is me believing how you have no right to shit on someone else’s struggles simply because you have had it bad yourself. Don’t take out your bitterness on someone else simply because you’ve had a bad run of unfaithful men in your life.

              And yes, I called someone stupid “outright”, because I consider it a stupid thing for someone to come and be acting like disagreeing with someone’s opinion is some sort of sin. Heck, the dude was himself disagreeing with me disagreeing with you, and he’s preaching? Get the fuck out my face please.

              • Ekun
                October 15, 06:08 Reply

                “heck, the dude was himself disagreeing with me disagreeing with you, and he’s preaching?”…The irony of it all😂

      • trystham
        October 14, 14:14 Reply

        First off, its a fucking gay relationship. You dare NOT trust.
        Second, wtf was he looking for in his phone? No. He didn’t have to go thru the gallery. It just HAD to be his messages. He had to even patiently go through and wait for one to conveniently pop-up 😒😒😒…he deserves whatever he saw.
        I’m no relationship expert bruh, but anything less than a 6 months back and forth interaction is not even enough to get u past fuck buddy stage. I mean for heaven’s sake we are still dealing with kitos

        • Pink Panther
          October 14, 17:03 Reply

          “We are still dealing with kitos… It’s a fucking gay relationship…”
          These are supposed to be justifications for why gay people shouldn’t expect anything from whoever they’re dating?
          😂😂😂😂
          You had it right. How about sticking to not being a relationship expert that you said you’re not.

        • Sworld
          October 14, 17:08 Reply

          Seriously, I deserved what I saw on my boyfriend’s phone?

        • Dove
          October 14, 20:56 Reply

          “fucking gay relationship?”
          So?

        • Bhawscity
          October 15, 13:30 Reply

          You don’t trust in a Gay relationship? What? Where did you get that impression? Damn, I think I better move to Kuvikiland. What a category.

        • Jinchuriki
          October 16, 01:54 Reply

          ‘Fucking gay relationship’

          You should not exist.

          • trystham
            October 16, 07:31 Reply

            I hope u have ur alias ready for when u send in ur next sob story

            @Patrick Sorry (or not???) to pop your nice rainbow bubble. The bacon is burning. Wake tf up!

      • KingB
        October 14, 18:46 Reply

        Where’s the Like buttonnnnnnnnn?

      • Higwe
        October 15, 07:43 Reply

        This is so not pinky, lol.

    • Delle
      October 14, 11:23 Reply

      Very unnecessary bit here

    • Francis
      October 15, 00:29 Reply

      Na wa oh. Disappointed sef pass wetin I dey feel now. That you’ve had it rough in the gay dating scene and no longer believe in gay relationships don’t mean you should walk around shitting on peeps. That shit ain’t cute at all. Please find some healthy way to deal with your issues. You know better and should do better man

  3. Pete
    October 14, 06:49 Reply

    Are we now generalizing? I love couples spelling everything out at the beginning. I know couples who dabble from time to time and it’s no biggie for them.

    By the way, is expecting faithfulness not part of the heteronormative norm we shouldn’t be subscribing to? 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

    • Pink Panther
      October 14, 07:18 Reply

      Are you serious with that last bit? Faithfulness in relationships is now a heterosexual thing? Again, are you serious?

    • Delle
      October 14, 11:24 Reply

      Yass Pete! Yass! Show us that dumbness that resides deep within!

      Whoop! Whoop!

    • Black Dynasty
      October 14, 11:33 Reply

      Heteronormative norms? I call bullshit on this.

      If you want to fuck around, by all means do so. Don’t enter into a relationship where monogamy is expected, then look for an excuse to do otherwise.

      If you want an open relationship, say so. If you are incapable of monogamy, say so from the start. Don’t try to justify cheating.

    • Dove
      October 14, 20:54 Reply

      Bro, hetero or whatever, relationship should be defined and demanding for faithfulness isn’t absurd.
      Stop defending indiscipline.

  4. Black Dynasty
    October 14, 06:50 Reply

    “When people show you who they are, believe them”…..Maya Angelou.

  5. julian_woodhouse
    October 14, 07:31 Reply

    funny enough, the “heteronormative norms” we should be aspiring to, we don’t want to.. And you saying he invested too much in a short-term relationship, if the guy is cheating at the start, is it now midway when things start slowing to a crawl, that he’ll realise your worth and stay faithful? Not all of us can ram the guys trailer melinda-style to bring him back to his senses. Busybodiness of the charts?? Na wa oo… He went through his phone in his presence as opposed to what some people do when they’ll be forming unconcerned and be going thru chats when he be in the shower. And obviously, from the guys reactions(hassan) it’s very clear that exclusivity was part of the deal whether explicitly or implicitly. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool if you want to have an open relationship, but the sad truth is that most at times, you’d bring up the idea, they shoot you down, only for them to be eating jollof rice and the occasional puff puff at every wedding party they attend. Nuff said

    • trystham
      October 14, 14:32 Reply

      The minute he started having doubt’s or questions about Hassan’s faithfulness was where he lost me. Apparently, he knew or had guessed he had husbanded a loose material. So begs the question, if u knew, did u think anything would change? OR did u know him long enough to trust him? Apparently that was why he went straight to snooping through his messages. And if Hassan didn’t think he had to hide anything, was this exclusiveness not a thing in Sworld’s head?
      And having security throw him out…if it had become noisy, what would he say was the reason for the drama?

      • Sworld
        October 14, 15:16 Reply

        Thank you for the comment!.
        I loved Hassan with all of my life but only to be betrayed n seen like a fool for Loving!.
        I could remember vividly the anxiety to tell him all that happened but only to find him laughing happily with a guy himself once confirmed to me he is queer. He apologized n I let go cos of the love I had for him.
        I went through his phone for the FIRST TIME, behold it was a conversation of him with his bestie of how chef something and Mr something fucked him with pictures n video.
        How am i suppose to react?
        laugh n hug him for what he did?

  6. Stanley Tucci
    October 14, 11:33 Reply

    Permit me to take this as a sub and deliver it to at least 10 people in “happy relationships” that I know.

  7. McDuke
    October 14, 11:42 Reply

    Some of the comments here though…smh. This is exactly my dilenma…the shear dishonesty and disrespect. Also, where do we draw the lines in a relationship…am I over reacting or does anyone here also have issues when one’s partner engages in suggestive and erotic chats with online acquaintances even when nothing physical has happened yet….should that also be tolerated???

  8. Thick Havilla
    October 14, 11:59 Reply

    I’m keeping myself from the rage of hard-on’s, the thickness of and and the ritual of clinging bodies and there you are feasting on ass, digging on it and pounding it. As for me, monogamous does it.

    Relationships should be defined.
    Is it monogamous or an open relationship?
    When it’s defined, you’ll know your stand.

  9. KingB
    October 14, 19:01 Reply

    I really am disgusted at the comments I’m reading here. Few people did comment sensibly but majority of the comments weren’t just it. It’s amazing how gay men react when relationships and exclusivity in relationships is mentioned. My friend looks at me like I’m a zombie each time I talk about falling in love and being in a relationship. Back to the story, Hassan re-validated the famous belief that men are scum! It’s obvious he was in the “relationship” for the money. I’ve been yearning for a relationship for the longest time but each time I read tales like these coupled with others I witness in the community, I just look up to God and ask him why I’m gay because it’s very obvious we aren’t making headway when it comes to love affairs. Some other times I feel like deceiving some girl and living a double life at the expense of my happiness. I really do feel for the heartbroken guy. Take things easy and I promise you ‘ll fine.

  10. Keredim
    October 14, 19:52 Reply

    Two things…

    Firstly, I get the impression from the story and comments, that gay men are held to a higher standard of faithfulness in relationships than their straight counterparts.

    I think if we keep thinking like that we set ourselves up for big disappointment, especially in a country where relationships (gay or straight) are largely transactional.

    So it should not come as no major surprise, when a partner cheats in a relationship, especially in this case where it appears that Hassan was in it for the money.

    Sworld, you will be fine, this has not killed you, it will make you stronger

    Which brings me to my second point. The only thing that will kill you faster than a cheating lover, is microwaved Egusi soup.

    I think it’s sacrilegious to microwave any Nigerian food. They are best eaten warmed up in a pot over a fire.

    Besides, irradiated food is not good for you.
    🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍♂️

    • julian_woodhouse
      October 14, 22:10 Reply

      Gay men aren’t necessarily held to a higher standard than their straight counterparts, if the comment section is anything to go by, but if they are … I believe it has to do with the power dynamics…. There are 2 men in a relationship as opposed to straight relationships where societal norms place unfair burdens and restrictions on the female counterpart… What you said about relationships being largely transactional, I agree, but to the extent where there are a lot of people out there who are just looking for fuck buddies, casual acquaintances, open relationship and the likes, heck even some people looking for serious relationships every once in a while enter the fold of NSA sex every now and then. The problem is when you agree to enter an exclusive arrangement with some1 when you’re evidently not ready to.. You didn’t have to, No one tied a noose around your neck. And if a person claims its for the money, there are plenty of sugar daddies around who trade sex for pecuniary favours, a few of them are easy on the eyes too. You don’t have to drag sm1 into this. I can relate to sworld’s story. I once met a guy who was pressuring me for a relationship, always went thru my chats, not because he didn’t trust me, but because he didn’t trust “them”. Long story short, the one day I went thru his chats as a joke, I was stunned. He was sha on the wheel so there was little he could do when my countenance changed and he noticed I’d seen something I didn’t like. After a whole lot of begging spread over months, he had to move on. Funny thing is we were already having sex at this point, why he felt the need to tie me down when he wasn’t ready, I would never know. Moral of the story, relationships require work, even more so when societal constructs are geared towards damping one’s actualization. Please don’t enter what you’re not prepared for and ruin it for the hopeless romantics.

  11. sworld
    October 14, 20:02 Reply

    For someone you choose to spend the rest of my life with, you have to invest all of yourself and stand by each other through the hard, soft n thin time. you should go through his things knowing you wont find anything suspicious.

    After all that happened, I became more angy as my boyfriend pleaded with sex, that he would let me fuck him as I wanted,
    isn’t that bizarre n crazy?!.
    I had plans for Hassan but he ruined it all.

    I am presently in SURULERE Lagos, having the fun of my life.

    pls if you don’t know what relationship entails pls don’t dwell in it. Relationship is giving your all,standing by each other through the hard n thing times, relationship is not all about sex.
    most people wana be in a relation after a week of being together but can they endure when the test of relationship comes?
    sighs

    • Leon
      November 24, 14:41 Reply

      I am so sorry for what happened to you, believe me I can really relate to this because I have been in your shoes before, good thing to know that there are still some reasonable peeps in surulere,cus I guess most peeps are pretty much careful here

  12. J
    October 14, 20:08 Reply

    Oh goodness “it’s a fucking gay relationship”? This comment hurt me so much 😥😥😥

  13. Adichie
    October 14, 21:53 Reply

    and this is why some of us can’t find a good guy to love because they have been broken and scared and we are left to help them heal and always prove to them our worth.

  14. Black Coffee
    October 15, 04:36 Reply

    Some comments I see though, making me feel like it’s an impossible task to be gay and be faithful in a relationship. So much work needs to be done shaaa.

    Las las Sword you’ll be fine, trust me you deserve better.

  15. Eddie
    October 15, 09:30 Reply

    It’s unfortunate that MOST guys can’t even fathom the concept of being faithful…even the ones I”ve met that claim to be*eyes rolling*
    But what can we do? You can’t change people and some people will always be lying, cheating, manipulative, self-serving scum. My advice would be carefully define whatever it is y’all have in the beginning to avoid plenty stories

  16. Bhawscity
    October 15, 13:37 Reply

    When I thought I have finally found a reasonable gay blog with intelligent folks. Smh. What’s so hard about commitment and faithfulness in a relationship be it gay or straight? It’s not like they had an open relationship? So because he is gay, he shouldn’t love, feel loved and trust his partner? He should live anxiously, waiting for the day his heart will get broken and then that’s it? Smh I’m so mad right now over the comments here. What a dumbness in high places. No wonder Trump won lol.

  17. Dan
    October 16, 00:25 Reply

    You guys just reopened my wounds, am bleeding again, I can still remember the huge text message I got from my ex when my plane touch down lagos and switched my phone on. It was like an Isis bomb on Syrian soil. I thought I could not get over it, all the sacrifices, flying down to PH every weekend to just see his face, spending most of time, abounding my sister birthday because it falls on weekend. Please if you have not gone through these struggle, don’t just use you 10mb and type the worst case that I can make the writer regret sharing on the platform. I still believe in love because I was shown how to love by my parents. It’s very difficult to give what you don’t have. Some people didn’t grew up in a loving home and most did not experience love by both parents. You don’t expect them to give back love, it takes only grace for them to show love.

  18. Patrick
    October 16, 02:46 Reply

    Although I have never been in a relationship, I can imagine how it must hurt that your boyfriend/girlfriend fancies another person.

    I thought we had progressed on this relationship topic here on KD; apparently not. Trystham’s and Pete’s comments were the most distasteful. Imagine the silly notion that faithfulness is heteronormative and gays shouldn’t aspire to it.

  19. Dunder
    October 16, 08:51 Reply

    1) Being gay is not a character flaw
    2) Being male is not a character flaw
    It is one thing for people who are not of your race, creed, gender or orientation to in their ignorance, ascribe to you the worst of attributes and the lowest pf expectations but what is to be said about a situation where you do not just tolerate the worst from your self and kind but indirectly or directly, demand only the lowest from yourself? If being female does not automatically mean you’re a bumbling airhead whoring on Allen avenue; if being black does not automatically equate being criminally violent dunce; If being Muslim does not automatically mean you’re a suicide bomber, I don’t see why being gay should automatically equal a semi-passive income or being romantically unscrupulous or having no self standards.

    I’M SORRY FOR YOUR SAD EXPERIENCE SWORLD. However, I am glad the story ended with you realizing that you were far more than what you were being offered. Tolerating and managing these kind of hollow characters only ages you with angst if people who have experienced such are to be honest. For the rest of us, If you don’t demand basic self respect and think you are inherently only worth your orifices and wallet, don’t complain when people treat you the way you see yourself. Birds of a feather will flock together because they are alike.

  20. Lorde
    October 18, 14:25 Reply

    Lol ….. ditch that bitch…..snaps fingers

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