THE NEW YEAR, THE RESOLUTION

THE NEW YEAR, THE RESOLUTION

Happy New Year, everyone. Welcome to the year 2016.

The past year has really been an interesting one for the KD community as we’ve grown in leaps and bounds. The stories have gotten more personal, fears and hopes have been expressed and raw nerves touched. It’s been quite fascinating to delve into the hearts of different people all over the country, the continent, and further out. We’ve even heard stories from our sisters, which was quite a relief. The testosterone in here was getting suffocating no matter how much we sashayed our hips, manicured our nails or flipped our weaves.

I won’t delve too much into the highlights of the last year; a few posts already got that covered. Keredim did a really good job with his post; who knew that international whore with branches in Milan, Paris, Tokyo, and New York has such levels of sarcasm. That aside, he did a marvelous job with the major KD highlights of 2015.

Some of us have probably set New Year resolutions, targets to achieve and all that.

Seize the Bae 2016

Decapitate Max 2016

Marry Kacee 2016

More orgies 2016

Screw around 2016

Join the Kumbaya Clan 2016

Join the anti-kumbaya clan 2016.

You getting the drift? Within the KD and entire LGBTI community, we might have goals to achieve, become better persons or worse; that’d totally be up to you. There is however one theme I’d like to suggest for the New Year, one that, if implemented, could lead to a slightly better life for us all in this new year.

STOP HOMOPHOBIA 2016.

Is that possible? I think it is. We just have to be determined and tactful. One thing I’ve noticed over the period that this blog (is it okay to still call it a blog? Site maybe? Community? Let’s stick with community) has been active, is that we’ve grown bolder. The comments section gets fiery when hot button issues come up, ideas are thrown around with accusations and counter accusations, points for or against. Without us all joining hands to sing kumbaya, we can still channel that inner passion to the homophobes wherever we find them. Hack them down till they cower in fear.

This might not be easy to do if we don’t arm ourselves with knowledge. When you hear someone scream “Kill the gays”, don’t join in the chant, ask ‘Why’. When another says he hates gays, ask him why. Let’s try our best to be outspoken; even if you don’t want to out yourself, you can still be publicly pro-gay. We have also been given the anonymity of the internet; isn’t it time to use it? We don’t have to go into the streets, ringing the bells while screaming, ‘Repent, stop homophobia’. Do that online, in your families, amongst your friends.

Are you wondering why I’m asking that this be the theme for this year? Well, here is the genesis. Towards the end of last year, I went for the end of the year celebration of my secondary school class set. We were having a ball and the issue of gays came up. Can’t remember exactly how the topic came up, but soon after it became a discourse, one of the guys said he had always wondered why I’ve always been passionate when speaking up for the gays, why whenever the topic came up in the WhatsApp group, I’d always attack him and others who say it’s bad. I was prepared to reply him, but something absolutely heartwarming happened. My brother came to my defense; he said as long as it’s the issue of gay rights, he has realised how pretty intelligently vocal I can be about it. Oh that’s right, he said “intelligently vocal”. He went on speaking on how he has begun to see things from my own perspective; if he cannot create a human life, then why call for the death of one. If a gay man makes a pass at him, he’d only politely decline instead of getting worked up about it.

Another guy also spoke positively on how his views have changed, even though he still finds the act disgusting. The most vocal homophobe in our group still insisted he’d kill his son if he found out he was gay, but in that moment, I didn’t care to engage him anymore. I was just happy that someone had actually been listening all those times I argued with the homophobe. I might not have gotten the chief gay basher in our group to change his views, but I’m getting his lieutenants to switch sides. That on its own was my Christmas miracle.

Let’s tow that line. Let’s stop being mute whenever the topic comes up in our homes, our schools, our workplaces or amongst our friends. You don’t have to be married, single, religious or anti-religion. You just have to be you. You just have to want to speak up before you are forced to speak up. I’ve been privy to see some online conversations some of us here have had with homophobes, some were even screengrabbed and shared here. These showed that we are already moving in the right direction.

In this New Year, let’s be bolder. Let’s be more vocal. Let’s put ourselves in the action and speak up against the violence. Let’s do what we can, when we can, to make sure we have fewer Kito situations.

Happy New Year once again, and may 2016 prosper your decision to stop homophobia.

Written by Colossus

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45 Comments

  1. Mandy
    January 01, 07:16 Reply

    We have a whooping 365 days to work on this objective, to do what little or big we can to reduce homophobia in Nigeria. Let us endeavour to do so. This LGBT movement in Nigeria, it does not pay to keepo quiet and say its not your business, it does not pay to sit and wait for help from the West. It begins with us. Talk that talk, educate that somebody. It is about us, about you and I. Let’s make this country right for us.

  2. Johnnie
    January 01, 07:29 Reply

    last year when anybody calls me gay, I do insult n act offended but this 2016, you call me then you are my partner in crime…. Viola

    • ken
      January 01, 07:40 Reply

      The reason why most of us get angry when called gay, is bcos a part of us still see being gay as “dirty” “bad” or “aborminable” together with the deep fear of being kitoed. No one gets angry when called straight!

      • Stranger
        January 01, 09:22 Reply

        I feel it makes one feel inferior, weak rather than dirty.

  3. Oturugbeke!
    January 01, 07:41 Reply

    This year. I want to find love again. I fell a void every time I stroll through my US pals instagram page and see them flaunting their boyfriends. Hehehe… while na only when we travel I fit snuggle my ex bobo, back here it is unto friend level. I also can’t wait to permanently leave naija this year. The Nigerian gay environment is depressing.

    • Pink Panther
      January 01, 07:42 Reply

      You can help make it less so. That is what the update is about.

      • Oturugbeke!
        January 01, 08:29 Reply

        Nne. Nor be market go fall press. God knows I do my own little bit. I try as much as possible to help, both financially and in sorting out kito situations I’ve had the opportunity to come across. I don’t really get how the Nigerian LGBT association works, because to me they seem barely functional. In addition, the gist I’ve heard of how some members tear themselves down behind their backs isn’t encouraging, cha! cha!

  4. ken
    January 01, 07:42 Reply

    My new year resolution is to either settle down or relocate to somewhere far far away. I think I am more inclined to the latter tho

  5. Dennis Macaulay
    January 01, 07:45 Reply

    “Evil thrives when good men are silent ”

    Thank you Colossus!

    • Pink Panther
      January 01, 07:46 Reply

      Better don’t come tomorrow and start saying how you can’t be bothered by homophobes. Or how when you are done educating those who are internally homophobic. 😀

  6. Masked Man
    January 01, 08:04 Reply

    It starts with ourselves. Some of us have not fully accepted the fact about who we are. So when homophobia raises its head, we keep silent and cower away.

    It starts with us.

    • Vhar.
      January 01, 08:32 Reply

      *Clears throat*

      Safe to say you’ll SPEAK OUT from hence forth, yeah? And not cower because they’re older?

      • Masked Man
        January 01, 08:41 Reply

        You don’t have to admit anything.
        But you can challenge the premises of such questions.

        • Vhar.
          January 01, 08:51 Reply

          Shey that wasn’t what I said before before ni?! Abi you want me to slap you back into 2015?

          Cow!

          • Masked Man
            January 01, 08:57 Reply

            Ode!

            That wasn’t what you said oh. Don’t start changing your mouth.

            • Vhar.
              January 01, 09:07 Reply

              You’re one to talk about mouth abi? Better get sense. And fast!

              • Masked Man
                January 01, 11:05 Reply

                Sweery honey, I’m not nice.

                **insoects claws**

  7. Peak
    January 01, 08:31 Reply

    I hear you colossus, preach it!!!

    HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

  8. Zosimus
    January 01, 08:53 Reply

    What pricks a nerve in me everytime we confront this topic is that people will readily tell you that they’re tired and want to relocate to places where they can express themselves freely, forgetting that the word freedom isn’t free, it costs blood, sweat and tears! All those places you now consider gay havens were once hostile too, and people fought tirelessly to get them to where they are today! Please let’s start taking responsibilities in this 2016, because no matter how far we run, we’d still come back to face the music if you and I don’t start changing the rhythm in the littlest of ways we can. God didn’t hand those countries you’re running to freedom, people did and we can do same too with consistent concerted efforts. Happy new year everyone!

  9. Timi LEO
    January 01, 10:09 Reply

    Let’s Do it again and better this year

  10. Keredim
    January 01, 10:22 Reply

    Well said Colossus. It is an admirable goal to set for 2016.

    This doesn’t just apply to those of us living in Nigeria, I have had to challenge the anti-gay views of some Nigerians I come across in the UK.

    It is an ongoing battle and we will gradually chip away at homophobia in 2016 and beyond.

  11. peaches
    January 01, 10:31 Reply

    Nice piece. @ PP,pls how do i get to put up something here?.

  12. Tobby
    January 01, 10:57 Reply

    Yay. True

    Happy New Year to you too

  13. Delle
    January 01, 11:35 Reply

    Well, I for one have been pro-gay through my write-ups and all on facebook. I think I can confidently say I am an online activist when it comes to the LGBT issues but that’s all there is to it. I really want a voice for us. A voice that won’t be looked down on because of physical flimsiness. A very crucial point was raised in this entry, try speaking up without necessarily opening your closet doors.

    This is that point where I’m just glad there are gay men who are straight-acting, physically intimidating and just unsuspecting. I think this group should take the front seats in this cause. No matter how crude this sounds, in Nigeria, I have learnt to bite my nails with my incissors. The other sect who are easy give-aways, I mean the effeminates can’t be so outspoken about something like this and not get stoned at, it’s the truth. So in as much as we all have our parts to play, some should do theirs silently while others should really speak up. I mean really, really speak up.

    I have three younger ones and recently they started the Empire saga which they find riveting. When they found out Jamal was gay, the eldest, he is 13 was like, ‘You mean this guy is gay? With all his beards and muscles he prefers men to women? Nyama!’ I was really put off by his statement, the naivety in his statement was overwhelming, it dawned on me that if I don’t educate them in time, they may just end up being neck-twisting homophobes. Who knows? I may one day need their alliance. So I said to him,’Well firstly, he doesn’t ‘prefer’ men to women, he happens to just LIKE men only. Jamal has beards because he is a man, it’s a phenomenon unique to all men that have reached and passed adolescence, because he is gay wouldn’t and can’t alter his genes, okay? Being gay is just same as being straight, it’s just a swap of sexes one is attracted to. They are all human beings, like you and I. Gays aren’t vampires, they aren’t corrupt politicians, they are humans with beating hearts and smiling faces. Look at Jamal singing, would God give him such beautiful voice if he was cursed? You know Sam Smith right? Yes, that very sweet sounding young man, you know he is gay also, right? Ask yourself why they are both gay but different at the same time just like every other thing natural. Go to the google search engines and be amazed at the number of animals that are gay. It’s so natural, every 1 in 5 persons you know is.’ He looked stunned at first and I could have sworn he looked at me in some kinda way just then, who cares anyway? Now they watch Empire, no, they look forward to new episodes! I am planning on adding ‘I AM CAIT’ to the TV menu, it’s my way of being vocal. No matter how little, what’s yours?
    Happy New Year KDians!

    • Dennis Macaulay
      January 01, 13:03 Reply

      This is that point where I’m just glad there are gay men who are straight-acting, physically intimidating and just unsuspecting. I think this group should take the front seats in this cause.

      **sigh**

      • Pink Panther
        January 01, 13:04 Reply

        Dennis, he does have a bit of a point there though. lol
        Even you have made a remark to that effect on your journal.

        • Dennis Macaulay
          January 01, 14:51 Reply

          PP in the journal entry that you speak of, I was mostly talking about MGMs many of whom already have the validation of society, not “straight-acting, physically intimidating and just unsuspecting” men who we have to thank the Orishas for.

          What is straight acting? And physically intimidating?

          *sigh*

          • keredim
            January 01, 15:14 Reply

            “What is straight acting? And physically intimidating?”

            When you are not effeminate and don’t sashay when you walk.

            You check your dick is still in place, by grabbing your crotch at the end of every sentence when you speak with a deep voice.

            Those are a couple of the characteristics. I can send you a long list off line

      • Keredim
        January 01, 13:53 Reply

        Yes Dennis, he is on point. Straight acting gay men will infiltrate the unsuspecting populace and spread the good news.

        That way, they can start to redeem themselves for being “straight acting” and put their “acting” to good use.

        • Dennis Macaulay
          January 01, 14:52 Reply

          That is eh! And we bow dow and worship them with a heart filled with gratitude!

    • Delle
      January 01, 16:31 Reply

      When I said straight acting and physically intimidating, I was only conforming to what’s already existent. A man who doesn’t sashay while he walks, doesn’t give so much attitude and hand gestures when he talks, is considered ‘straight-acting’. Those two words aren’t mine, Dennis, they aren’t mine.
      Physically intimidating: When a twink climbs a podium to speak against homophobes and their delirious activities, they may not command as much respect and audience as a burly, macho, muscular-looking stud would. It’s just a fact that the femmes do not get as much regard as the masculine ones, it’s annoying (tell me about it *eyes rolling*), but I’ve come to terms with it. If Brock Lesner was gay, who would confront him and challenge him. Even Buhari won’t.
      I’m not trying to buy into stereotypes, I’m only using what’s already obtainable to get what we want to obtain, otan!

      • Dennis Macaulay
        January 01, 17:10 Reply

        “The thing with stereotypes is not that they are lies, but that they are incomplete”…..

        CNA

  14. kacee
    January 01, 15:29 Reply

    Nice piece Colossus, Respect Man.

  15. Dennis Macaulay
    January 01, 15:34 Reply

    You all know why they term straight acting annoys me? Because it further pushes the narrative that gays are deviants so to be accepted they have to “fall into line” and act like “typical heterosexual males” who are the real deal.

    I remember being on a date with a guy and while referring to heterosexual males he called them “normal guys” and I cut him short asking what we were? Abnormal?

    Abeg it new years day, let me go and eat pounded yam and ofe nsala! I don’t have power

  16. Max 2.0
    January 01, 18:05 Reply

    Good post Collosus… However we have to get rid of homophobia within our community first before we can delve into the entire Nigerian populace. Most Nigerian gay men still have Internalized homophobia which is why they don’t speak up in the first place when homophobes are tearing gay people apart.
    Let’s lunch operation ELIMINATE INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA!!!.

    • Pink Panther
      January 02, 05:50 Reply

      Max has come rebranded. But he intends to continue slaying. Internalized homophobes, beware!

  17. ISCARIOT
    January 01, 20:24 Reply

    Nice piece, well I’ve always been one to speak up whenever am confronted with the GAY topic, well I don’t admite to anything tho, but I try to sound open minded and all, and like the good point mentioned in the comments above, its easy for cos I’m “straight acting” so peeps tends to tolerate me and I’ve succeeded. @ changing the views of some of my close friends, so they hardly bash or say awful things, they’ll just be like “leave those people alone jaaareee” whenever the topic comes up

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