The Nigerian Businessman is like the US Cake Baker

The Nigerian Businessman is like the US Cake Baker

This is me, jejely downloading the films and series that I watch for myself, on my own data.

Then Glo reduces their data drastically and I decide to outsource the movie download to a friend of mine who does movie downloads and all sorts of media stuff for a living. A movie is 200 bucks. I don’t mind. It’s just 200 naira. As long as you can get whatever movie I ask you to get. He says he can.

I give him a list. On it are ‘Beach Rats’ and ‘Friends and Family’. Two days later, he says he can’t find ‘Beach Rats’ and ‘Friends and Family’. But he has gotten everything else on my list. I give a knowing nod to myself and tell him to keep looking.

A couple days later, he asks me for when I am coming to take the movies. I ask if he has gotten the remaining two. He says no. I tell him to keep looking, that I will come for my movies when he has gotten the complete list. He says he can’t find them.

But then I hit up the torrents site, and there they are, the torrent files for ‘Beach Rats’ and ‘Family and Friends’, two gay-themed movies I want to see, but somehow, it would seem their rainbow colours have blinded my friend from locating them.

So I ask him this morning whether he downloads with torrents (of course I know he does); my intention is to send him the torrents files myself since he is so bad at his job in locating them. He must have guessed what my intent is, because then he sends me this in response.

“I don’t do SUCH”? What SUCH is that please? What did I ask you to do, suck my dick? SMH. Like the baker who won’t bake the gay wedding cake in the US, Nigerians will apparently sink a business relationship than give a customer what he wants. And that’s just sad.

I don’t blame him sha. I blame Glo. When they decided to downgrade themselves from the godfather of data to the level of other Nigerian networks, they set the stage for idiocy like this.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Previous TIERs presents the poster of upcoming movie
Next “Is it just me or is Flavour gay?” Instagram troll comes for singer Flavour, incurs the wrath of his fans

About author

You might also like

The Happenings 11 Comments

Imam Weds Muslim Lesbian Couple In Sweden

Beaming with pride, their faces wreathed in smiles, Sahar Mosleh and Maryam Iranfar finally tied the knot after nine years together. But the moment proved bittersweet for the couple, as

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
The Happenings 29 Comments

Fan Petitions For Beyoncé’s Birthday To Be Declared A National Holiday

I’m a full-time member of the Bey Hive, so when I woke up on Friday and a fellow Beygency member had to remind me that that day was the day

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
The Happenings 29 Comments

Michael B. Jordan reacts to gay rumors: “Grow the fuck up!”

“I usually don’t comment creep but, you know, shit, today I got time. So look, whoever’s angry, bitter, upset for whatever reason, grow the fuck up ‘cause karma’s real. And

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

14 Comments

  1. Bendito®
    May 05, 06:22 Reply

    😂😂😂😂😂😂
    Lmfao! What is wrong with this guy tho’?

  2. Iked_i
    May 05, 06:29 Reply

    I sure do hope you’re not paying for the other films. *Walks off to download ‘beach rats’ and ‘friends and family’*

  3. Net
    May 05, 07:29 Reply

    Lmao please I’ll download for u on Monday and send it via wetransfer

    • Hp
      May 06, 04:48 Reply

      Ehm, bros, good evening sir. Please o, can I get it from you?

        • Hp
          May 06, 05:23 Reply

          Oops!!! My bad, my apologies Ms Net.

  4. as-i-am
    May 05, 08:14 Reply

    Beach Rats and Friends and Family, hmmm adds to my waiting list of rainbow films to download… *evil grin :)*

  5. ROCK
    May 05, 10:50 Reply

    Typical Nigerian.He will sleep before marriage nd outside marriage,cheat,scam,defraud, but as long as he is anti gay….he will go to heaven.

  6. cupid
    May 06, 15:24 Reply

    next time I’ll advise you to use 9mobile (*229*3*11) 200 Naira for 1 gb night plan(can be renewed as many times )or airtel 25naira for 500mb night plan (can’t be renewed unlike 9mobile) rather than doing business with him.

  7. Gag
    May 07, 15:34 Reply

    Please we can I download movies like this eg LOVE SIMON or who won’t mind sending in person

  8. […] where after I told you where to shove your demand, you blocked me on WhatsApp, yup the one – I posted screengrabs of your homophobia online, and in a matter of minutes, I had strangers and acquaintances (people who couldn’t even boast of […]

Leave a Reply