THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT

THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT

Bruce was bottom. And I had bottomed most of my gay life.

He was a month older. But I had more experience out of life than he did

We were similar, but different in a lot of ways.

I was bigger – his kind of man, he said. I was not sure if he was my kind of man, but I was sure I liked him because he had an aura that was connectable. We had both just come out of relationships, and while I was certain that I was not yet completely tired of looking for love, he was convinced that he did not want any more relationships. He needed time to pursue other relevant things, he said.

Things between us escalated quickly, from the first visit’s sidelong glances to cooking together. And then our first kiss, as we stood by the door. He clung to my body, wrapping himself around me while we kissed, till we were both rock hard.

Bruce was petite in frame, with an athletic build and very defined features. His eyes had this squint that was either an expression of suspicion or sexiness – and it made him irresistible. He was very smart. But he had no fashion sense whatsoever, something I initially thought was a bit odd for an effeminate man. In fact, he showed no interest of ever being interested in being fashionable. So, after taking forever in the bathroom to shower and pamper his skin, which he said was his most favourite part of himself, he would throw on a packet shirt over chinos or plain trousers, put on Shifuren dockside loafers and be on his jolly good way. No extras.

And whenever he was not going out, he’d always be covered up in some sort of clothing. Big shirts and trousers. There was no room for showing skin, or “giving clues”, as he liked to call it – never mind that his walk down the street revealed a huddled-shoulder, hip-swaying gait that was clue enough for anyone who was keen on finding about him.

And for some reason, I really liked him.

They say it is weird for a Bottom to have feelings for another Bottom. To me, who had scoffed at such same-role romances like this in the past, it did not feel weird at all. Bruce was innocent, but not naïve. He was fragile, yet very decisive. In a way, he was different from me. He had no vices, and no anger or pain from a heartbreak, just disappointments. It made me want to hold him, protect him. He told me he liked it when I policed him, protected him. I liked his compliments. I liked that he noticed.

But what he did not know was that whatever I did for him was what I wanted as a Bottom too.

As Bruce and I got along, we discovered a lot about each other. He had no tolerance for pet names. His senses (sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing) were ultra-sensitive, so hardly did anything get past him. There was also a no-sex policy, which had come after a game of truth and dare, when he asked if I’d ever treated an STI and I said yes. It turns out he was something of a hypochondriac. He had a phobia for sexually transmitted infections, and it did not matter if you’d been declared healthy by the World Health Organisation, he would still think of you as unclean. Before we kissed, I had to brush my teeth, not using a mouthwash, but with a toothpaste and brush.

He also feared that his walls were too thin, and that his neighbours could hear him breathing. But the truth of the matter was that he’d gotten so afraid of giving out clues, of having them be suspicious of his sexuality that he had become conscious of his activities even in the privacy of his own home. Not only was it impossible for anyone to hear anything coming from his room except he had a very loud visitor, but they probably did not care to know because he was too young for any of those neighbourly squabbles.

The no-sex policy would have put a wrench in the progression of our relationship if it was sex that we wanted. It was more than that. It was the company, the fondling and play and pillow fights and water squirting at each other, the cuddles at night and conversations about our individual futures. So instead of sex, we humped. It was not the most comfortable thing, but it was a mood for us and we enjoyed it. We started with doing it with our clothes on, until we agreed it was okay to get naked. He was very good at it, too good for someone who had attempted penetration only twice. Because he was not comfortable using his mouth for anything other than kissing or at most licking my ears, I did all the other stuff that required the mouth and tongue, and he loved it. I could tell by the way he twitched and trembled and thrashed about with his body, grabbing the sheets, stifling his moans and parting his legs for more of my oral invasion, pulling at my head as if he didn’t ever want me to stop. Our bodies lubricated by our own sweats and overuse of lubricants. Our breaths heavy but controlled. Our fingers interlocked as he rode me or I humped or lap-fucked him.

We were going good, because he told me so. He told me I was unlike the other men he’d been with. That I was patient and kind, and offered attention and assistance, and I was very considerate and was not too proud to apologise. I looked into his eyes, and thought that with him, I could manage my fears, find an anchor. Be safe.

But I would come around to realizing how very wrong I was about him.

Things between us began to take a nosedive when he told me about why he had his reservation for penetrative sex. He called it dirty and ungodly. I sat up on the bed in the dimly-lit room, pondering on his comments, startled by what he’d said. I wondered if he was even gay. It was shocking that these words were coming from someone who had more gay porn collections than Pornhub, all of them carefully arranged into categories in his laptop like an online store.

After that was him talking about “demons” – his belief that demons possessed people, and that since our intimacy intensified, he’d been having dreams where he was attacked by hefty men. Dreams he hadn’t been having when he was “strong”. Strong being the way he described his state of mind when he hadn’t met me.

Sometimes you like someone so much, you find yourself making compromises just so you can remain around him. I liked Bruce like that. I made the sacrifices, asked him every time I could for his permission or approval. Obeyed every rule and was aware of his boundaries. I felt stupid at some point, like I was allowing myself to be manipulated. To be used. And for a moment, I realized how this must be the way those Tops with Grindr profiles that read “I do not have the time for drama” must feel. I felt exactly the same way one would feel when a relationship begins to take the twists and turns that they didn’t see coming, and I didn’t like the feeling. A part of me wanted to do him dirty; persevere until I fuck him, and then I leave him. But I knew how that felt too – to give yourself to someone and have them walk out on you with the whole of you under their shoes.

A saying goes that it is better to try and fail then to fail to try, so I hung on. At least until he revealed himself as someone who wasn’t worth the effort.

It was a weekend when he phoned, asking me to come over, that he was bored. I gathered my stuff into a backpack and took a cab to his apartment. We talked and laughed, me forever cautious around him because he had ruled against body contact of any sexual kind whenever we weren’t being sexual with each other. We played a game, he beat me. The night was far spent, 10 PM precisely.

Then he looked at me, doe-eyed, looking like a little lost angel, and said to me, “Do you mind if I sleep alone tonight?”

I stared at him, as though scanning his face for proof that he was joking. But I found nothing. He was serious. This was him asking me to leave.

“It is late,” I said, gesturing first at the clock and then the window, beyond which was the night. “Can’t I just stay the night? I’ll be gone early tomorrow.”

His response was mumbled nonsense. It was something he did whenever he did not want to expressly state his dissent; he would say a bunch of things under his breath. He resumed the game he was playing on his phone while I went back to the movie I was watching. We’d both been watching it before he took to the game.

A couple of minutes passed, and my heartbeat was racing. It was not a normal feeling, especially not when I hadn’t done anything wrong. But his silence accused me. It wasn’t normal. He loved to call for my attention every now and then, and he was not doing so.

Then the lights went out, as though NEPA was in agreement with my suspicion that all wasn’t well.

“Bruce,” I called, turning to him as he turned on a rechargeable lamp, “are you uncomfortable with my staying over?”

He went into another rumble of words, this time words I distinctly heard, mumbling about how I was asking him about his comfortability when it was obvious that he was not, and how he was a private person and just needed his space. He said these things in the politest way, that even the most selfish person would see reason with him.

And I wasn’t selfish. Not with him. I began to think about going back home that night. The route to my apartment was risky. It was a path where guys hide in the cover of darkness to smoke and rob pedestrians. That was my fear, having to walk through them or take a very long walk around them to get home on a route whose safety I wasn’t sure of either.

It was now 10:28 PM. I had gathered my gadgets that I came with to charge – my laptop, Bluetooth speaker, phone. Tucked them all securely in my backpack so they wouldn’t get damaged should I suddenly break out into a run.

I hugged him goodbye.

At the door, he asked, “Are you angry?”

“No,” I said.

It was the truth. I was not angry. I had no right to be with his choices. But I was disappointed and vulnerable. My mind was consumed with the worry of getting robbed, because I’d never been out of my apartment this late. And even when I was, it was never with my devices.

I stepped out into the airy stillness of the night, made my way to the junction where I could find a cab. The road was almost scanty of human and vehicular traffic, but I was grateful for the street halogen lamps lined up all to way to a far distance. I walked along the road, hoping a taxi going my way would come along.

One did, and I got in, beside the driver. He was young, rough looking, which was not unusual. But the guys behind him were still. Very watchful. I felt the eyes of the one directly behind the driver burning through the back of my head. Sweat trickled from my underarms. I cursed the night while the driver sped like he was auditioning for the movie, Fast and Furious.

The next time Bruce flashed through my mind, I heard a voice in my head saying: “You will never have to see him again.”

That was before the guy behind the driver leaned forward and grabbed me by the shoulder.

Written by Peaches

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54 Comments

  1. Mitch
    January 01, 06:49 Reply

    Our stories?
    OUR FUCKING STORIES?

    Peaches, this is the first day of the year and you entered it hoarding gist from me?

    Brace yourself for an unlubricated penetration of your DM. Ozwai!
    🚶🚶🚶

    • Pink Panther
      January 01, 07:01 Reply

      *feeling the smug satisfaction of someone who knew a Peaches story before his friend, Mitch* 💅💅💅

      • Mitch
        January 01, 09:51 Reply

        Walai, Pink Panther, this is already painful enough without you having to rub it in.😭😭😭😭😭

  2. Zoar
    January 01, 07:00 Reply

    The irrational things love makes one do.

    I pray nothing fatal happens to you.

    Sometimes gay relationships/interactions make one loose their minds and senses because they’re trying to be with someone of thesame interest especially in a country where it is an abomination.

    We should all be wise to discern jerks as quickly as possible so we don’t do that learning in a hard way.

  3. Mandy
    January 01, 08:05 Reply

    “Bruce was innocent, but not naïve. He was fragile, yet very decisive.”

    That right there is arrant nonsense. This Bruce is not innocent or fragile. He’s a manipulative jackass. Anybody who would so willfully place you in harm’s way just to serve his selfish claim at personal space is an asshole who doesn’t deserve your love, friendship or devotion.

    I hope to God that there’s a continuation to this story, and that it didn’t end in tears. Cos the vex I’m vexing from reading this story reach to slap that Bruce from new year to 2021. Nonsense and ingredients.

    • God's Plaything
      January 01, 13:02 Reply

      I don’t understand this vitriol. Bruce was open about his quirks from the word go. Being with someone with special needs is tough, requires mental/physical preparedness and can at times wear you down. But if it’s commitment you’ve made, then you owe it to both of you to respect them/their quirks and let them take the lead, while you learn how to love them without harming either/both of you

      • Pink Panther
        January 01, 16:05 Reply

        Sending someone, a person you claim to care about, out into the night into possible harm… That’s a quirk???

        • God's Plaything
          January 01, 19:39 Reply

          *An adult who knew what he was getting into and is capable of taking care of himself.

          Peaches shouldn’t have entered into a relationship with Bruce believing he would become who he wants him to be, then turn around and play victim after realizing that’s not how it works.

          Peaches, darling, you let your passions lead you into a relationship you clearly are not qualified to maintain. Don’t make the mistake of letting those same passions drag you down the rabbit hole of finger pointing. Admit your error, let go and embrace the healing.

          • Pink Panther
            January 01, 19:54 Reply

            “Peaches shouldn’t have entered into a relationship with Bruce believing he would become who he wants him to be…”

            I’m sorry, but did you read the same story the rest of us did? Where on earth did he say he started dating Bruce believing he could change him? It is literally in the story that he himself bent himself out of shape to accommodate Bruce’s boundaries. Did you skip all that part in your haste to arrive at this absurd conclusion?

            • God's Plaything
              January 01, 21:38 Reply

              Nuance. It’s all in the details, isn’t it? Or are we glossing all that over because we don’t like the ugly truth? Here’s a cue to help guide you “he was convinced that he did not want any more relationships. He needed time to pursue other relevant things, he said.” Now follow the narration again, objectively, and tell me if you can’t honestly see a pattern here…

              • Pink Panther
                January 02, 01:21 Reply

                Nuance… All in the details… Ugly truth…???

                Lol. I’m just really laughing at this pseudo intellectualism you’re forming.

                I’m bored with this thread abeg. Here’s a cue for you. Read Francis’s comment below. He is someone who’s just like Bruce. In fact, he’s even more paranoid about his space than this Bruce character. And yet, see what he had to say.

                This isn’t about a relationship. If they were just friends, it’d be about the same thing: the failure of a reasonable act of humanity.

                That’s it. Simple as that. Bruce, no matter who he is or his “quirks”, denied his (boy)friend an act of kindness and humanity where it most mattered.

                You can try to dress it however you want, but you’re evidently on your own there. Everyone else sees it.

          • Mandy
            January 01, 20:07 Reply

            This guy sounds like what Bruce did is exactly the kind of thing he would do. First he tries to reduce someone’s plain callousness to mere “quirks”. Then he’s legit out here misrepresenting the story. Turning the victim into someone to be blamed.

            Lol. SMH.

            Even if Peaches expected to change Bruce in their relationship, how does that excuse the behavior of asking your boyfriend to leave your house at night, because comfortability??? Are you kidding me with these nonsense comments you’re typing? He called Peaches away from his house with no foreclosure that he’d be leaving that same day, and then suddenly, fucking late at night, he’s asking him to leave???

            And you’re here somehow trying to justify that?

            Please change your moniker from God’s plaything to Devil’s advocate.

          • Mitch
            January 01, 20:34 Reply

            You really sound like a complete piece of work. I know comprehension is somewhat difficult for simpletons but you don’t have to expose yourself so publicly.

            The story up there is full of examples of ways Peaches went out of his comfort zone, did things he wouldn’t normally do and bent over backwards just to please Bruce. Yet, you have the gumption to tell him, “yOu LeT yOuR pAsSiOnS lEaD yOu InTo A rElAtIoNsHiP yOu ClEaRlY aRe NoT qUaLiFiEd To MaInTaIn.” 🤡🤡🤡🤡

            Instead of forming fake deep while enabling destructive, selfish and utterly loathsome behaviours, how about you keep shut and not betray your lack of understanding of the finer nuances of this conversation?

            Mental health issues do not give a person carte blanche to be a jackass. If you don’t get that, then your problem runs deeper than normal.

            • God's Plaything
              January 01, 21:47 Reply

              Dear Mitch, so much misplaced righteous anger. There’s so much education I wish I could give you about the intricacies of a complex psyche, but I’d rather not engage your unreasonable rn. It’s also clear you lack the requisite range for that kind of learning, so I forgive you. I hope you some day gain insight, although I wouldn’t hold out hope on you. I’m done with you. Shalom.

              • Higwe
                January 02, 03:18 Reply

                A very intelligent and classy response that thing Mitch does not deserve.

                This is the idiotic , vapid , inspid , dingbat that blames the kito experience he had 5 years ago for his toxic nature ….you’d think he’ll be more sympathetic knowing that sometimes experiences shape people’s attitude.

                No surprises because he’s always been a shameless hypocrite.
                This is the thingamajig that hurled obscenities at Audrey for paying a straight man for sex , forgetting he’s submitted a story in 2014 /2015 where he sexually assaulted an underaged straight boy under his care.

                He runs amok with his clownish friends attacking anyone who dares have a disparate opinion from his.

                It’s like we all are supposed to be robots …nod , laugh and jump at the same time. 🤣🤣

                Even if you don’t agree with someone’s point of view , there are ways to respectfully disagree without insulting the person .

                New insight opens a portal to new knowledge.

                Mitch is tactless and mannerless …the most ridiculous thing is his equally stupid friend hailing him for being savage .
                Your friend is gradually detoriating and you’re fanning his ego by calling him savage when he’s just bad mannered and badly raised.

                Week in week out – it’s the same pseudonyms commenting .
                New members are viewing the stories but most of them are scared to comment because they may be attacked by Mitch and his cohorts.

                I really wish one day I’ll run into this Mitch somewhere and give him the beating of a lifetime , that even his mother won’t recognize his ugly face.

                ********************

                BTW , you sound really classy and Intelligent .
                I love the way you articulate your words .
                How you kept your retorts classy despite the undeserved insults .

                Really hoping this won’t be the last we see of you.
                It’s really nice to see someone with such refreshing point of view .

                The comment sessions have been a drag lately with a bunch of friends just agreeing with each other. 😁😁😂

                TBH , I was pleasantly surprised when I saw your comment.
                I thought it was going to be another round of ” let’s stone Pearl’s estranged boyfriend ”

                Happy someone actually stood up for that young man.
                While I do not wholly agree with your point, I do admire the delivery .

                In Pearl’s shoes , I wouldn’t have left that night …but then I’d never date someone like that to begin with .

                I think sending him out at that time of night was downright inhumane but he clearly signed up for it …the signs have always been there .

                Happy he’s alive to tell his story though.

              • Mitch
                January 02, 08:08 Reply

                You?
                Give me an education?
                Especially on the matters of a complex and complicated psyche?

                Okay!
                Now I really have to laugh.

                The only unreasonable one here, right now, is you. The person who sees what is clearly a case of one not giving a shit about another person’s (whom he calls a friend. Maybe even boyfriend) safety. You don’t invite someone over to your place, detain them till it’s very fucking late at night and then proceed to unceremoniously ask them to leave simply because you want your personal space. That’s callous as fuck!

                That behavior ranks on the same level of disgusting as that the men who invite people to their houses and when such people turn down their late night advances, proceed to kick them out of their houses, not caring about their safety.

                That’s the kind of behavior you’re enabling with your pseudo-intellectual stance on this.

                I’m done with you, abeg.
                I most definitely ain’t your mama. And I’m not about to teach your grown ass what humanity means.

                Ciao!

            • Higwe
              January 01, 22:53 Reply

              Mitch can never pass on an opportunity to insult someone 😂😂
              It’s bad enough that you’re as ugly as sin , you have to garnish it with an uglier personality.

              Everyone is trying to be more positive this new year, but of course our inhouse low budget Tacha has to start with bitterness. 😂😂

              You dare use a clown emoji for someone …look at your life and everything about it and tell me what qualifies you to even use that emoji .

              You’re a living disaster , a walking train wreck , a pitiable unpalatable caricature of a human entity and you dare call someone a 🤡 ? 🤣🤣

              For all your so called ” brain ” what have you been able to accomplish ?

              You’re good at interpreting literature…bravo … but very bad at making conspicuous decisions for your life .

              Tell me who is the clown …a KD Aristotle and a real life joker – only without the brawn or guts .🤡🤡🤡

              I would have sent you love and light but your situation is irredeemable at this point.

              Only if Pink P can get his head off your smelly ass and realise the kind of toxic and negative person you are .

              There is literally no ground for healthy arguments.

              How can one claim ” Intelligent ” , yet can’t make a salient point without insulting people.

              You’re very useless , stupid and idiotic.
              I blame the internet for making people like you thrive .
              Imagine a sickly person that probably can’t even hold a punch , running around insulting everyone .

              I really wish there will be a ” say it to my face ” on KD , let’s see if you can say half of the things you type here without getting a resounding slap that will reset whatever is left of that moulded brain of yours back to factory settings.

              The most whimsical thing is that half of these people you insult are accomplished men a vermin like you can’t even dare to stand beside in real life.

              But of course , KD has given you a platform to showcase your stupidity and apparent lack of home training .

              You blame your 2015 kito experience for making you become this bellicose anathema you are, but you don’t think the writer’s love interest’s issues run DEEP ?

              Now who is the 🤡?

              Ozu nwuru anwu 😂😂🚶🏼‍♂️

          • Peaches
            January 01, 21:04 Reply

            Okay. Now there is no finger pointing, God’s plaything, and for some reason i think I know who this is.
            Now it was obvious from the narrative that it was an error and I did not blame him for how he is by nature, but then you do not pounce on me blindly ignoring the fact that a plethora of harm could have befallen me in the dark, and it would have been my loss for wanting to make him happy. I understood his moodswing, but i do not understand why i had to be harm’s way because of it. I was not selfish with him so i followed his lead, did you observe that in the story you read?
            Please, God’s plaything darling, how you read literature as a critic you are trying to exhibit is to fix yourself in both parties’ shoes, then, you can truely tell what is fair and what is wrong, until then, i hope to read constructive criticism from you next time.

            • God's Plaything
              January 01, 22:12 Reply

              Peaches, forgive me if my comments have come across as reductive against your experience, not my intention. However, the aim remains to provide a shift in perspective. Where everyone else is keen on casting Bruce in the antagonist’s light, I can only see a person existing as they are. You’ve done nothing but humanize him, as he deserves, where certain characters here would rather demonize him. The points I’ve raised here are to remind you that he hasn’t changed one bit in the time you shared, lending, to his credit, a strength of character. It’s not our job to like him, it is however yours to determine if you are able to love and adjust to someone who’s so set in stone. If you understand this man you feel so strongly for, then you can’t be surprised that he’d do things like these. He’s a tough nut. Real question is, are you the sort of person to accommodate a complex man, or are you not?

              Again, I don’t understand the vitriol over his (politely, if awkwardly posed) demand for personal space. I understand it was (relatively) late at night and you had concerns, but here’s the deal: you’re an adult man in a very adult relationship; It was half past ten; you had transport options; you must have known of the possibility that he wouldn’t have wanted you to stay the night.

              I feel a simple discussion in terms of an agreement of terms (to protect both of you) ahead of time could have saved so much angst. An unconventional relationship deserves unconventional manoeuvres.

              I’m sorry Peaches, I just don’t see the monster everyone else sees. I see a human, different by all rights, but honest too.

              Regardless, I’m sorry for your pains. I hope you figure it out.

            • Higwe
              January 01, 22:55 Reply

              The fact you ignored literally everyone that supported you and just focused on that one person that had an opposing view – already tells me all I need to know about you .🙄

              • Mandy
                January 02, 01:15 Reply

                Oh look at Higwe acting like he has no biases, taking to the pulpit like some sort of well rounded angel of opinions.

                Dude, first of all, I don’t think Peaches is out here checking for what you think about him. I know it hurts that he ignored your “suppirt” and didn’t respond directly to you like you’re used to from most everyone else here, but please don’t take it to heart. You still have your fan club intact.

                And secondly, the fact that out of everyone here, the only person you clearly seem to have a hardon for here is Mitch sure does tell us all what we need to know about YOU.

                You’re really not as interesting as you’d like us to believe. Like the rest of us, you have those you’re biased against here and those you root for. Acting like you’re anything else is just glaringly dishonest.

                But I’m sure you’ll come up with another long winding, plenty dictionary English filled rebuttal to this.

                • Mitch
                  January 02, 08:18 Reply

                  Mandy, ehn ehn!

                  Don’t bother yourself trying to hold up a mirror in the face of the vainglorious thing. It won’t see anything but itself, cheap attention-seeking thing that it is.

                  It is desperate to be noticed. It craves being the champion of the masses, being thought of as a very intelligent (I literally couldn’t type this word without holding myself back from barfing) and important persona.

                  One piece of advice: Unlook!
                  That’s the biggest favour you can do yourself where it is concerned.

      • Mandy
        January 01, 20:13 Reply

        And it’s funny how you said: “…you owe it to both of you to respect them/their quirks and let them take the lead, while you learn how to love them without harming either/both of you.”

        And this lecture about harm is directed at PEACHES???

        Lol. Oga, please shut up and stop being a joke.

      • Francis
        January 01, 20:20 Reply

        😒🙄🙄🙄 I have got a shit load of issues especially with personal space BUT one night of “intrusion” won’t kill me and certainly won’t kill Bruce instead of putting someone familiar at risk of being hurt.

        Anybody with common sense who needs space, ought to have plans for such space ahead of time. You don’t get to decide when to have a moment when other people are involved. Kuku stay and be bored on your own. That’s some selfish as fuck behavior.

        Oga Bruce is just a useless somebody hiding behind mental health issues biko.

        • Mandy
          January 02, 01:27 Reply

          Francis, abeg help me see o. The guy may be all that with his mental health issues.

          But he’s also an undeniable jerk!!!

          And some people are here legit trying to sanitize him. SMH. These are the people you’ll wish the same kind of evil on, just so they can get a perspective and their head out of their ass.

  4. Bells
    January 01, 08:32 Reply

    “Can I sleep alone tonight?” After asking him over because u re bored? Jeez!!! I hope to God that nothing bad happened in that taxi

  5. Kamsi
    January 01, 09:27 Reply

    When we pray for true love others play with the love that found them.

    Please nothing bad should happen to you dear.

    • Audrey
      January 01, 12:29 Reply

      Your pseudonym brings back nostalgic feelings.KamKam

    • Audrey
      January 01, 12:31 Reply

      KamKam your pseudonym brings back fond memories.I know I messed up but it’s lessons learnt.

      • Kamsi
        January 03, 23:52 Reply

        Awuuuuuuu

        I forgive you, I’m glad you learnt your lesson 😍 😂 😂 😍 😂

  6. RichieMichie
    January 01, 09:38 Reply

    I’m trying to picture myself, in a relationship where I’m overly cautious of my actions around my partner, because well, there are just too much boundaries.
    Jesus how did you do it?!

  7. Higwe
    January 01, 09:47 Reply

    Bruce is a damaged person .
    Learnt this long ago – all “demons” were once happy angels.

    There are definitely series of events that occured in his life that made him into what he is .

    **************
    We humans are obsessed with the saviour mentality .
    There is something exhilarating about playing a hero 😁
    Reason we ignore all the red signals and dive into the ocean anyway – till we discover that it’s far deeper than we anticipated .

    Most often than not , it always ends in tears .

    You’re going to be fine dear as will Bruce ……..

    When he finally digs himself out of the trench he buried himself or when he finds someone stronger -who can withstand the turbulence and pull him to safety.

  8. Hannibal
    January 01, 10:20 Reply

    Even if you already made up your mind before you left his house never to see him again, you could have at least left your gadgets in his house,and come back the following morning.
    Sorry for you though, you’re a good person. I don’t know what to say about Bruce though, I can’t empathize with him

    • Francis
      January 01, 20:25 Reply

      You’d be shocked to learn that even leaving one’s items sef na intrusion of privacy for some of us.🤣🤣🤣

      When we want space, we only want us and our baggage in it. Everything else must go

  9. Lyanna
    January 01, 12:07 Reply

    The anger I felt reading this story…

  10. Audrey
    January 01, 12:26 Reply

    Please can I Unread this nonsense I just read.Like WTF

    One of my new year resolutions would be to shield myself from stupid people cos in my quest for love in the last years I’ve come to realize that most gay people do not even love themselves so I wonder how a person who doesn’t have a thing would have the ability to giving it out.

    I pity the next Idiot that would come into my life with the intent of playing me I swear on my life I’d arrange him to be dealt with by my Four brothers,Five well built cousins and those weed smoking niggas that sits and hails me at my junction.Let’s all be guided in this new year.Long HISS

    • Lyanna
      January 01, 14:10 Reply

      Feel like sending boys to finish his already damaged soul.

  11. Covfefe
    January 01, 12:43 Reply

    This Bruce has skoi skoi.
    Crazy people everywhere.

    Btw, Audrey you okay?

  12. Delle
    January 01, 14:49 Reply

    Wait what!??

    THIS IS NONFICTION!!!??

    Peaches, what’s going on!? How are these things happening and I’m not knowing? (Okay, maybe I should swallow these words seeing as I’ve been quite the moot).

    But really though? That Bruce guy is demented. And needs therapy. And you should NEVER have anything to do with such a high-handed, reproachful, scarred, self-righteous scumbag.

    Ugh!

    And it’s beautiful how you’re realising firsthand all that I’ve told you; roles are just mere temporary take-ons that are mutually exclusive to our persona and very independent of love and who we will come to love.

  13. Peaches
    January 01, 15:03 Reply

    I learn, I learn everyday. Bruce and I no longer talk, but he views my statuses. It is how weird we have become and I have long come to terms with it. The ability to take a lesson and move on is key. Thankyou for the responses, Lyanna and Audrey, please.dont kill him, he too will learn someday, if he doesn’t turn internally homophobic.
    Delle, i learnt, i am still learning. Thankyou.

      • Mitch
        January 01, 17:12 Reply

        *stepping gingerly over this floor that is wet with cum and lube*

        🚶🚶🚶

  14. trystham
    January 01, 19:08 Reply

    He has time. I would have made myself comfortable and slept in the face of having to face a certain death.
    When the day breaks, let the relationship break with it

    • Francis
      January 01, 20:27 Reply

      🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 Asin! Let what will hppun happen. We die here 😂😂😂

  15. Vincent
    January 02, 04:02 Reply

    Did y’all really digest this story because you seem to be forgetting one very important thing. Bruce is sick, very sick in my opinion. Going by this write-up, he has features of the various Personality disorders. He’s exhibited paranoia, lack of empathy, aloofness, preoccupation with cleanliness and rules, odd beliefs, and then his inflexibility with morals (penetrative sex being ungodly and dirty). All these being considered in the context of him being an effeminate gay man who are generally the victims of emotional abuse. You add all these together and you have someone really traumatised. On face value this is even Personality Disorder not otherwise specified (with him exhibiting features of OCD, Paranoid, Schizotypal Personality Disorders). This guy’s problems have several branches. Of course I could be wrong in the specific mental disorder but he definitely has mental health issues.
    Hence, it is disappointing that as LGBT+ people who should be more understanding and compassionate, we cannot approach this with sympathy and compassion, but some are hurling insults at him. So can we at least not vilify him?

  16. Peaches
    January 02, 09:13 Reply

    Please, people, its okay. This is the case of the ’69’and God’s plaything and Higwe can see turn tables as much as they want. It is a new year and i am not about to start on a banter with pseudonyms – cos they wont come in my inbox and tag me. Please, whatever is their reservations they are entitled to it, i am not responsible for how they choose to rumage over that. It is too early to come to a blog to troll people. And Higwe has a lot of spite to dish out. Bruce was not yet my boyfriend, he was a close friend and we didnt even have sex cos it was not the most important. I am sure you would have loved it if i was stabbed and robbed and left for dead, but then thank God you have no power to make that possible. And please, get back to work everybody. A lot of us do not grow fat on negative energy. But if you do, please suck on dick with no teeth. How is that for a new year?

  17. Ricky
    January 02, 14:14 Reply

    Peaches dear, can you at least finish the story so I know exactly how to feel, right now, I can’t even feel my heart….. I’m pissed.

  18. McDuke
    January 02, 15:09 Reply

    Why I empathize with you, let’s not forget the signs were there all these while. Penetrative sex being dirty and ungodly, his weird dreams, abrupt mood swings, OCD, paranoia, etc. The Bruce guy clearly has a lot going on for him and I hope he gets the help he needs. Trust me, I was more worried about what could have happened to you if you had passed the night at his place than how safe it is for you to go back to your place, dude is unpredictable and you can’t trust him with your safety. Thank God you’re safe I hope you’ve drawn lots of life lessons from this experience.

  19. Peaches
    January 03, 12:59 Reply

    @McDuke your approach to this story is kind, and I appreciate that♥️.
    I know the signs, I admit I saw them. But Bruce, to me was not that kinda guy i would hang around just for sex. When he made the no sex rule, i told him i accept and then everytime there was something close to sex, he made the first move. The dry hump, the lap fuck, the getting undressed, need for me to clean with a toothbrush so i can have minty taste when he kisses me, (which was very often). I stayed because i wanted to, no hidden agenda. I was not like him that would ditch anyone who has had a record of treated STI or STD (it could have been one of the reason why he said no sex, i thought about that) but then i remained cos i saw his kind, gentle side and it was enough, and he called, to ask me to come, he said it that he loved having me around.
    At first, he used to want me to stay a little longer and i’d end up leaving at 9pm, and he’d walk me to the road, where i get a cab, then he convinced me to sleep over. Then he convinced me to spend two nights stretch and i told him it was the most i could do. That night, he called me, asked me to come stay with him. Asked that we made dinner, i helped. Asked we play a paper game, we did, he won. We were in the middle of that at few minutes past 10pm when the power was restored and i plugged in my devices, and he got engrossed with his phone. I decided to see a movie since he wanted time alone and then i get asked to leave, no offence, nothing. And if i got harmed, it would have been my lot for a little bit of kindness?
    I am an adult, i know about mental issues and the dangers juxtaposed alongside, if i didnt, i definitely learn quite a lot now. But to think me the fool for attempting to accept and ‘mingle’ with him cos of percieved issues, then it becomes unkind.
    I hope my answer is good enough.

  20. Peaches
    January 03, 13:04 Reply

    @Ricky🤣🤣🤣🤣. I am sorry, babe. That feeling you have now was the same as what i felt as i walked out of the gate onto the scanty, lifeless street, clutching to the handle of my backpack like it was a parachute whose latch i could undo to lift me off any first sign of danger. Mine was a little heightened cos i do have a history of heightened anxiety.
    You’ll be fine las las♥️
    Thankyou for caring tho😇

  21. Tristan
    January 05, 02:27 Reply

    Have you considered the possibility of him asking you to hit the door cos he was expecting someone to come fuck him?

    What if he actually lied that he wasn’t cut out for penetrative sex because you probably was “not man enough” to fuck(dominate) him like a real top would do?

    What if there was something about you, oblivious to you, he just didn’t want to tell you ‘cos that might had hurt you?

    What if there was something bout him he’d been repressing, something very likely to manifest that night, he wouldn’t want you to know?

    You really might have to check well. It’s either there’s something you are not telling us( it’s a single story anyway) or the Bruce of a guy is hiding something from you.

    I don’t dispute the possibility of his mental issues like most comments here suggest. But, there may be other untold facets to this story.

  22. Tristan
    January 05, 03:41 Reply

    …to fuck( dominate) him like a stereotypically real top would do?

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