I can almost equate this feeling to that of a grieving woman who lost her husband to cancer and her only son to war in some faraway land from home.
Five months ago, I could’ve called myself the happiest person in the world, because I met him! Yes. Him!
I remember thinking deep before I sent the friend request on Facebook. And then I did and the request was immediately accepted. Before long, we had begun chatting. Our conversations were very interesting, filled with humour (we were even exchanging voice notes of our laughter).
And soon, he was “falling in love” with me. Dude asked me out! Right there on Facebook! Don’t forget, we’d only been chatting and haven’t had any physical contact yet. I am in Nigeria. He’s in Cyprus.
As open and ready to love as I was, I accepted his proposal and agreed to maintain a relationship, even though I hadn’t seen him in person; although I told him to ask me out again when we finally meet upon his return to Nigeria. Lol.
Life proceeded to get really hard for me (pun intended), because I had to start turning down propositions of sex, dialing down my high testosterone, because I was trying to stay faithful, even though I had no idea how many times he was getting head in Cyprus.
Fast forward to March 22nd, during one of our intense conversations on WhatsApp, his message had just dropped in. For a moment, I stared at the digital print, unable to believe my eyes.
Bae, my girlfriend is on my neck! She’s asking for too much. Money, pictures… Kai! I’m tired.
I found myself fighting the urge to restart my phone, hoping the message would go away and then I’d think it had all been in my head.
Feeling numb, I typed back a response: Girlfriend? I never knew you had a girlfriend.
He replied: Lol. I’m into girls too. This one is the third girl in my life. I didn’t like her initially. She just came to me and I began to like her gradually.
I felt like screaming at him. What was he doing giving me a history on his love life – with a girl he had never mentioned?
Grateful that we weren’t face to face for me to have to battle to keep my expression in check, I typed: So does that mean you’ll gradually like everybody that ‘comes to you’?
I felt beset by anger and jealousy. I was angry because I hadn’t known he was bisexual and in another relationship (not like I have a problem with bisexuals). I was jealous because, well, I’d grown to care very much for him, and as selfish as I am, I wasn’t looking to share.
I went on to tell him that I didn’t like the fact that he has a girlfriend while I was still in the picture. I wanted all his love on me, and in response, he called me weird. Apparently, he didn’t see how wrong it was to have a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time.
I fumed silently, feeling oddly stung by a sense of betrayal. How could he think that? Of course, as long as I’m not in the picture, he can go on to have a harem of 700 women and 600 men. How could he be so facetious with our commitment?
Well, he’ll be home in two weeks, poised to be welcomed by his girlfriend and his boyfriend.
Written by Tali