THINGS THEY SAY AND THINGS THEY DO

THINGS THEY SAY AND THINGS THEY DO

One of my roommates recently struck up a conversation with me concerning the US Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage. He went on about how it was the mark of the end times, how God would punish America, and how all gays should be boiled alive and blah-blah-blah.

Listening to him, I felt no anger or irritation. I’m almost never angry when I hear homophobic comments. This roommate of mine (let’s call him Somto) was a Prayer Cord (Preyo) in the just concluded non-denominational fellowship on campus. He is an okay-looking dude, with a muscular butt, part of which he loves to leave hanging out over his frequently sagging boxers. I’d been plotting evil for him since he got me noticing his muscular butt.

So, during our conversation, I asked him why gay people should be boiled alive. And he replied that it’s because they are agents of Satan. I rolled my eyes, just barely resisting the sudden urge to tell him he’s been rooming, eating and was presently talking to an agent of Satan. Lol. Anyway, I don’t know how to make a case with people on the issue of the LGBT. I prefer to let them wallow in their stupidity. But I however told Somto that his point was like saying all short people should be killed because they are agents of Satan for choosing to be short. He objected, saying that short people were not to be blamed for their height, because they didn’t create themselves. I told him that was the exact same thing with being gay. I didn’t think he’d accept my reasoning. He didn’t. He maintained that being gay is evil.

Then he asked me why I was defending homosexuality. “You be gay?” he queried, eyeing me. “This guy, I don dey suspect you o.”

I replied that I was simply open-minded. (You know, with me being in the closet and all)

However, since that day, he started calling me gay; this he did only when we were together and alone in the room.

Then the day came when I was in the room, reading one kain yeye handout a lecturer gave my class. I was in bed, jejely flipping one page after another, when Somto returned from his lectures. I was alone. So he called me gay again.

While I ignored him, my mind responded to his teasing, jumping straight to all that evil I’d been planning for him. Two sly voices, settling one on either shoulder, taunted me with the memory of Somto’s muscular butt, asking me when I’d do something about it. I tried to shut them up, but the bitches were fully equipped to resist me, as though they’d been planning this. They eventually won.

Just then, Somto called me gay again. I mean, he was simply asking for it.

So I said in a mock-menacing tone, “Don’t call me that again or…” I let the threat linger unspoken.

“Or what? Wetin you fit do?” he returned with a laugh.

I didn’t answer. I remained in my bed waiting. And then, he finished changing from his street clothes and went to his bed.

And then, it was time. So, I said, “Shebi you’re asking me what I fit do, eh?”

“Yes! Wetin you go do, homo?” he reiterated.

“I go kiss you, so you go know as homo dey do.”

His eyes widened at me. If that was alarm on his face, I couldn’t tell. Then he said, “You no fit. Homo, comot here.”

That was all the provocation I needed. I immediately sprang up from my bed to his. I grabbed at his body, and he struggled to get me off him. The tussle was short and quiet, with both of us breathing hard while pulling and pushing at skin and clothes.

And then, my mouth captured his, claiming his lips in a kiss. The moment our lips touched, he stopped fighting me and froze. I didn’t let his immobility deter me. I continued kissing him. His lips stayed unresponsive for a few moments, and then he was kissing me back. His mouth opened and his tongue slipped out and connected with mine as he kissed me back with as much zeal as i was kissing him. As we kissed – mehn! – I wanted to shout: Pinky, come and see o!

Then, my hands went down to the back lands of the south. I grasped the twin cheeks of that muscular butt I’d so long desired and pressed them tightly. He moaned. I explored all those cracks and slipped my fingers inside his opening. Oh the warmth! That hole was literally burning my fingers. He wanted more. That much was evident as he moaned, pushing his derriere against my hands, and sucking my mouth harder into his.

And then, it was Lesson Over.

Yes. I stopped. I unclenched my hands from his butt and reclaimed my mouth from his. He whimpered as I pulled away from him, and climbed out from his bed. I had a raging hard-on, but this was not about me. This was about him and the lesson I set out to teach him. I stood by his bed and stared down at him for a long moment. He stared up at me, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, his expression that of someone trying to process what had just happened.

“Yeye fowl,” I said to him, and walked back to my bed, back to my reading.

“Devil,” he called back at me.

I chuckled evilly at that. I never enjoy being called a devil or anything satanic, but that day, I felt like changing my name to ‘devil’. Lol. I was so pleased with myself.

After calling me a devil, he added that I shouldn’t talk to him again. But I know and he knows that those were just the words of pussy reacting to the dick she can’t have.

Written by McGray

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54 Comments

  1. Iyke
    July 13, 05:09 Reply

    **Wailing**

    i want my wordpress back oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

    That aside, bobo you get mind! Ah! Call me gay from now till tomorrow nd d only drastic decision I might take is to burst into a crying fit!

    You didn’t even stop @ just d kiss but near bum-bum fingering! Ah! Bobo yii Macgray, u haff lost it oh!

    • Francis
      July 13, 05:36 Reply

      @Iyke no worry. E go soon grow on you as it has on me. I miss right clicking and saving posts straight to my Pocket sha.

    • posh6666
      July 13, 09:14 Reply

      As in he has serious liver!like i can never ever try such in a skul setting.What if things had gotten out of hand and he raised a serious drama?abeg o i cant risk all my hardwork for anything or anybody lai lai.Like can u just pause and think the plenty bad tinz that could have happened?i remember a drama that happened back in uni days in the boys hostel.That faithful nite i was gisting with some frnds wen we began to hear loud voices trust now we quickly went to feed our eyes behold it was one hunky yoruba guy that i have been admiring frm a distance manhandling one other guy that while he was sleeping d guy was touching and rubbing his exposed thighs,then he woke up.I guess the other guy couldnt control himself again and had to give it a try if i hear.Me i was just thanking my stars that all i did was drool over him frm a distance.

  2. Francis
    July 13, 05:35 Reply

    Na wa oh. Your liver need excision as e don too big for your belle cavity.

    Bet seriously niggam, what if this had gone horribly wrong? Wetin you for talk oh? You also know you need to start watching your back 24/7 as payback fit be the guy priority as from today. You for just finish wetin you start. Lol

    I no go lie, it sounds hot in writing but scary in reality.

  3. Absalom
    July 13, 05:51 Reply

    Uhhh, McGray, are you going to let this teachable moment slip with, what, a mere two-second make-out session? Shouldn’t there be the part where you guys actually sit and talk about what just happened between you two, what it might mean for Somto and so on?…

    That boy is a grenade; I wouldn’t sleep in the same room with him without a knife under my pillow – just in case. Seeing as his homophobia comes from his own internal conflicts.

    Please, have that talk. It’s very, very important. Don’t just sit there laughing when he calls you a devil; he might just do something crazy.

    • Jamie
      July 13, 06:10 Reply

      Actually… He would be a lil bit confused about his (McGrag)’s major reasons for the action now… McGray, you sorta abused his feelings. Plus, something could have gone wrong…

  4. Belcullen
    July 13, 06:10 Reply

    Shiiiiiiii*! Yu get mind, buh dat was cool. M curious to know how yu two have been since den.

  5. Tiercel de Claron
    July 13, 06:58 Reply

    You two need to sit and have some serious talk about what happened,plot the way forward how you relate with one another.Otherwise,I don’t see it going well if you leave things hanging like this.

  6. Khaleesi
    July 13, 06:58 Reply

    Wow bold courageous move! Umm i think WordPress was much more user friendly …

    • Iyke
      July 13, 10:02 Reply

      Yesssssssssssss! Oh yesssssssss! Say that again! Coming in now seems like a chore, unlike b4 when it was like a morning ritual! Pinky…………..

  7. law
    July 13, 07:07 Reply

    Just woooow!!!! Some hella balls u got @Mcgray. The somto will come bk for more…. Cus right now he will b confused about what is going on with him…. So he will really wanna know if he is or its just a spur of the moment… And u wil av to b his practical tutor.

    • Max
      July 13, 07:17 Reply

      I believe user-friendly is the word.
      This one has the whole animation and stuff, but WordPress was more friendly.

  8. Max
    July 13, 07:13 Reply

    Ok, I just had a hard on.
    Short, entertaining and nice.
    🙂
    Can’t wait for the day you guys will finally get down. Pls do write about it 🙂
    #MostHomophobesAreClosetedHomos

    • Notore
      July 13, 14:03 Reply

      You know that hashtag of yours is false right? You should never paint anyone, homophobe or gay rights activist with the same brush stroke.

  9. trystham
    July 13, 07:14 Reply

    I have to learn chinese calligraphy now…or is this japanese??
    He had it coming abeg. Evidently McGray likes him else, na to fight better fight not do ‘tumble in d hay (bed)’. And yes, u r a devil. I cannot in all honesty think of initiating kissing someone I’m not sure is gay

  10. Colossus
    July 13, 07:18 Reply

    You guys should give the site a little bit of time, the kinks shall be worked out and all would be right with the world again.

    With regards rhus story, I agree with Absalom. That guy is a grenade waiting to happen and if not diffused properly, it could be disaster for all parties involved.

    • Notore
      July 13, 14:07 Reply

      Colossus, gases diffuse, bombs are defused

      • Max
        July 13, 16:13 Reply

        @Notorious, what a way to make an entrance..
        A bird that had 20 droppings before perching on a tree. Thread carefully.

        • Pink Panther
          July 13, 16:37 Reply

          Hahahahahaaa!!! I like Max for one thing. He doesn’t shy away from being a bitch.

          • Francis
            July 13, 16:43 Reply

            @Pinky as long as you’re not on the receiving end

            • Pink Panther
              July 13, 16:50 Reply

              I was.
              Once.
              A long time ago.
              It was NOT funny.
              Which is why I’m constantly giving thanksgiving every Sunday that me and him are forever on the same side. lol. #LipstickGangthinz 😀

  11. Raj
    July 13, 07:20 Reply

    I must say,the worst homophobes are gays in denial.
    Its annoying to have to listen to them whine about their contempt for their won guilty pleasure.
    I love outing him to himself ,however you must setwe from such risks.
    Might be socially suicidal which will have symptoms of engraved

  12. pete
    July 13, 07:26 Reply

    I’m here to mark attendance

  13. Ace
    July 13, 07:29 Reply

    If nah me, I won’t stop. After bringing my A game that day and after touching him in places he never knew existed, I will end it at that one time and watch him beg and die inside for more. I will be such a cock tease from that day that he will one day get down on his knees and ask for it.

    I freaking love the new site. There is something sexy and wank worthy about it.

  14. Mitch
    July 13, 07:33 Reply

    McGray, you just earned a kiss from me wherever you want it!

    I’ve been having this same issue with a self-proclaimed straight guy in my room. He doesn’t lose any opportunity to curse gays, America and Obama and call heaven’s judgement on them. Funny part is, he always wants to sleep in my corner and constantly is all over me. All I’m waiting for is for him to make just 1 wrong move. I will enjoy destroying the fool.

    Like Max said, most homophobes are closeted gays actually.

    • posh6666
      July 13, 09:21 Reply

      Destroy?hope u dont plan to out him to others.I dont think we should do such to anybody when we are also praying for all the kito happenings to cease.Most of this homophobes have their own private demons they should be pitied instead of being hated.Infact some guys in here today might have gone thru such a phase before finally accepting reality.

  15. Ringlana
    July 13, 07:55 Reply

    Lol I can’t stop laffing the Phrase “Pinky come and see ooo.I love that. You. Stranded on the way making him to come for more.

  16. Flecks
    July 13, 07:56 Reply

    He is a prayer cord,he won’t kick up a fuss.., he will be confused, sober,will turn frustration into prayers,and will avoid u like a plague!… and the ‘devil’ tag,he means it!

  17. Richard M
    July 13, 09:48 Reply

    That’s what you expect from people that are always in a hurry to talk about us and call us evil. Finally, McGray, you get mind o.

  18. Dominic Obioha
    July 13, 11:57 Reply

    Is it now pink diaries or still kito diaries? I don’t think I can ever have the mind to do such. You really need to watch your back with this dude. Cos he appears very unstable and worse, religious.

    • Max
      July 13, 16:15 Reply

      The colour is purple. Dunno why everyone keeps calling it pink. Maybe you need to re-callibrate your phone’s screen, or your eyes.

      • Francis
        July 13, 16:24 Reply

        @Max: The first thing that came to my mind yesterday when I opened the blog was Victoria Secret’s Pink. I suck at colors so I became confused sef when some of you guys started screaming Purple. Looks like Fuchsia according to Wikipedia bet I’m sticking with Pink which is less technical for me. lol

  19. JustMe
    July 13, 14:11 Reply

    Wow…..nice job pinky, this looks lovely

  20. sensei
    July 13, 18:49 Reply

    My first comment on the new website. Yay!

    “Pinky come and see ooo”
    That line killed me. Dude, you are hilarious!

  21. Gad
    July 13, 21:09 Reply

    A very safe trial of confidence.

  22. JoshDeity
    July 13, 21:12 Reply

    Okay, I’m loving this new site. Whosoever designed this did a wonderful job but I can smell my data roasting. I really love the flow here. As for the post itself, i have to say that guy has more than just a liver. He’s got way more internal organs… the only way I can do what he did is if the other guy is drunk and I act tipsy myself.

  23. R.A
    July 14, 04:29 Reply

    Pinky come and see o lmaooooo
    This new site is so beautiful n fuego! But the colour be allova me eyes. Maybe cos I’m reading at 4am. Just too bright, even with my phone at 1% brightness

  24. Diablo
    July 14, 08:37 Reply

    If you can’t convince them, i suppose the next best thing would be to rape them. But bear in mind you have to be as strong as McGray and willing to take a punch or two before you can land a kiss. And, ensure to wash finger afterwards. . Meanwhile Pp, does the new site have a mobile version???

      • Francis
        July 14, 08:46 Reply

        @PP Good morning. Jetpack plugin has a mobile theme inside. Tell your webmaster to try using that and see if it works for you.

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