Waka Pass Diaries (Who Is The Homo?)

Waka Pass Diaries (Who Is The Homo?)

September 25

We had very tumultuous sex on Saturday night, the kind that didn’t quit till Sunday morning, with brief rest periods in between. Then at some point in the morning, I wanted to bring in my laundry and got up from the bed and the warmth of his nearness to go out. I was wearing my slippers.

As I walked to the backyard, I felt something sticking to my right slipper under my foot. I flicked my leg and the small torn blue wrap of the lube we used flipped out from my slipper onto the corridor. I continued walking to the backyard, leaving the wrap there on the floor.

A couple of hours later, I was outside once again, this time to fetch water from the borehole in my compound, but first to wash a few dirty dishes. I was done with the chore and was walking back toward the corridor when I heard two of my female neighbours talking.

I don’t usually pause to listen to the gossip of my neighbours (heck, I barely fraternize with them), but the words I heard one of the girls say just as I was about to emerge into the corridor from outside made me stop.

And wait.

To listen.

She’d said, “It’s lubricant na. That thing they use to have sex.”

The other girl gasped, “I don’t know about it. Have you used it before?”

“Tufia! It’s not for man-woman sex. It’s homos that use it.”

“Are you serious?” I could imagine the girl’s eyes widening with disbelief. She continued, “Wait, so you mean we have homo living in this compound with us!” She said this in a hushed tone, as though speaking any louder would make her a beneficiary of the antigay 10-year imprisonment law.

“Obviously,” the other one, the one with all the knowledge, said with a sneer. “And whoever it is doesn’t even have shame. Instead of them to keep it in their house, they are busy throwing their nonsense outside.”

I fully expected her to add: “What about the children? What if they see this?”

She didn’t. Her friend then asked her, “Who do you think it is? The homo…”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s that dark one that doesn’t talk to anybody and has that his particular friend always coming to visit him.”

“You mean Peter…”

“Yes…”

“Me, I’m thinking it’s the fair one o. He too doesn’t like to talk to anybody and I’ve not noticed any girls visiting him before.”

“Who knows. Maybe he and Peter and doing each other.”

They laughed.

Having heard enough, positive that I’m the “fair one”, and interested in knowing who this “Peter” is so we can exchange notes on compound snobbery, I took some steps and appeared on the corridor, startling the girls. Sure enough, I saw them standing over the small torn blue wrap of the lube. They reacted with some guilt, no doubt wondering if I’d heard anything they’d been talking about, as they shuffled away from me, swiftly changing topics.

I chuckled and walked past. No time to stress please. There was a gorgeous man waiting in my bed. While bitches be speculating, it’s time to get ready for Round – is it 4 or 5? I’d stopped counting.

Written by Pink Panther

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16 Comments

  1. Margarita
    September 27, 07:00 Reply

    PP. I sent you a mail two days ago. I don’t know if you got it?

        • Pink Panther
          September 27, 13:04 Reply

          If your mail was titled “Gay, ED, HIV”, then yes, I got it. If not, you might have to resend.

  2. Lopez
    September 27, 07:41 Reply

    Bitch! You don’t give a shit

  3. Kritzmoritz
    September 27, 08:36 Reply

    Oh, but that’s a bit careless.
    Why bring this attention to yourself if you don’t have to? Maybe an innocent conversation now but you don’t know what it will be tomorrow. Stay safe.

    • Keredim
      September 27, 08:46 Reply

      True….

      But maybe he is tired of hiding?🤔

    • cedar
      September 30, 10:16 Reply

      exactly my thought, some problems are totally avoidable.

  4. Johnny
    September 27, 09:56 Reply

    PP. King of Whores. I have told you to stop if you want to see ozzban.

  5. Patrick
    September 28, 01:41 Reply

    I have always imagined you, Pink Panther, as dark in complexion. Thanks for altering my mental picture of you.

    And could you please reply my email that’s been siting unanswered for at least a month.

    Thank you

  6. cedar
    September 30, 10:10 Reply

    I love this gan! Typical Nigerian stereotypes: people don’t visit you, you’re gay; only guys visit you, you’re gay; one particular guy keeps visiting you, you’re gay; no lady has ever visited you, you’re gay; you don’t talk to people, you’re gay; guys are using lewd words and you don’t join, you’re gay. And God help you if you are effeminate or handsome.

    • Pink Panther
      September 30, 14:45 Reply

      LMAO! You nailed all this. Our ignorance that feeds these stereotypes is staggering.

    • J
      September 30, 22:47 Reply

      Most of these people are hypocrites, especially men! Most heterosexual men celebrate the vile lifestyle. I traveled in the company of some straight men yesterday and all they discussed is sex, sex and sex! Three of them are married, but they were so comfortable bragging about how they mess around with ladies. I didn’t utter a word, I sat there like a sack of onions. They were calling me ‘good boy’, but in my mind I was like if only they knew I crave a good man… I was so angry and bored out as hell! I hardly sit with guys, almost all my friends are ladies. I realized that nothing is as boring like sitting with a straight man whose entire life revolves around sex, football and alcohol. I began to meditate on my life, feeling trapped and thinking if all men are the same, so vile without secrets, mouths running like a fountain? I thought about my sisters, my nieces and every calm lady I have ever met, would they ever have good men in their life? Somehow, I felt thankful for not having a child. If I had supernatural powers all creatures must be hemoprodites. All men must have breasts and virginas and they must be pregnant.

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