Six Reasons Why Science (And Harmattan) Say You Need A Fuck Buddy

Six Reasons Why Science (And Harmattan) Say You Need A Fuck Buddy

Harmattan has been reigning for some time now. The days are long. The nights are cold. Enter your friend-with-benefits–also known as a fuck buddy, or Bae, for those lucky ones.

Urban Dictionary defines a friend-with-benefits as “two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved.”

It is someone you can get away with drunk-texting on Friday night from a bar after your fifth drink and not take hell for it. (Just make sure it’s James your Fuck Buddy, not James your boss. Yes, that can happen.)

It can also be someone who you would never date for various reasons, but whom you nonetheless love getting naked with from time to time.

Just in case you needed them, here are sex, er, six reasons why everyone should have a Fuck Buddy.

It’s Good Practice

A 2011 study examined the sexual behaviors of more than 24,000 gay and bisexual guys. Researchers found that young men aged 18 to 24 didn’t score well when it came to their lovemaking abilities. (I see-riously beg to differ) Anyhoo, the study says that maintaining a steady, no-strings-attached partner to practice with is a great way for those of you in the under 24 category to hone your craft. As a young gay man, you are fortunate to have plenty of time and opportunities to improve.

It Encourages Mentorship

On the flip side, for older gents who may not need any additional practice in the sack, being a mentor to a younger fella can be a beautiful, beautiful thing. Think about it: You’re teaching him valuable tricks of the trade which he can then employ for the rest of his life. Talk about making a real difference in the world.

It’s Beneficial To Your Mental Health

To the surprise of no gay man on earth, a study published in Social Psychology and Personality Science earlier last year found that people who engaged in regular casual sex reported lower stress levels and higher levels of happiness. (Sluts, before you begin to clap for yourselves, the study says regular casual sex, not every Tom-Dick-and-Harry casual sex)

Live Your Fantasies

Have you always dreamed about being bound, gagged, spanked, and/or peed upon? (If so, you’re not alone. This sex study found that even the wildest of fantasies aren’t nearly as uncommon as you might think.) This 2014 survey found that 47% of respondents fantasize about acting out their favorite types of kinky porn in real life. Now, you may not feel comfortable doing these “taboo” things with the future father of your children. Enter your Fuck Buddy. He’s the perfect person with whom to explore such activities. You know him. You trust him. And he won’t take it personally if you never call him again after things go unexpectedly awry.

He Can Provide You With More Than Just Sex

Got an extra ticket to Wizkid’s concert? Need a date to your friend’s wedding? Call your Fuck Buddy. Not only will he provide you with some hot company to make others jealous over during your outing, but he’ll give you something to look forward to afterwards.

It’s Fun & Convenient

Despite what your parents’ church may have tried to tell you, sex IS good. And gay sex is fucking awesome. This 2014 survey found that one in three people have a friend-with-benefits with whom they regularly hook up. That has to be proof of something. Having someone to sext for some late night hanky-panky at a moment’s notice is fun, not to mention far more convenient than hunting for it at bars and on Grindr. ‘Nuff said.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Previous TALES OF THE HEART
Next Let’s Discuss…About Private Demons

About author

You might also like

Our Stories 11 Comments

No Strings With Mike Daemon: Kito Special

On Friday the 7th of August 2015, certain members of the Nigerian LGBTIQ community moved from their different homes to attend a birthday party hosted by a friend in a

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Our Stories 10 Comments

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BOTTOMS

Oh dear, I truly did think the season for open letters was over, only for Absalom to diss the Tops and have ‘em diss back. That’s right. Another KDian –

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Our Stories 16 Comments

Chip Lewis: Why It’s More Important Than Ever To Live Out And Proud

“It could have been us.” I kept hearing that Sunday from friends at the Capital Pride Festival and on Facebook. “It could have been us.” We know that when we

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

61 Comments

  1. Chuck
    January 03, 04:31 Reply

    As long as your fuckbuddy knows he’s a fuckbuddy. No lies

    • Dennis Macauley
      January 03, 05:01 Reply

      Yea! That can be awkward when FWB start catching feelings and want to transition to Bae!

    • Max
      January 03, 06:28 Reply

      Oh dear, they know.

      • Lothario
        January 04, 23:41 Reply

        Do they really? It’s always the beginning of the end when those feelings start hanging around.

  2. bade
    January 03, 04:34 Reply

    Why do you have only 3 posts a day??? It’s heartbreaking when u keep refreshing and there is no new post ):

    • A-non
      January 03, 08:32 Reply

      @Pinky,would you consider increasing the posts to six per day if Bade solely provides three qualitative posts per day?

  3. Dennis Macauley
    January 03, 05:04 Reply

    Having regular sex keeps you happy and relaxed! This one I can attest to!

    After a wild weekend, you get to work and you are happy, whistling along to your fav song, very productive at meetings and offering to buy people lunch sef.

    One word “endorphins”

    • A-non
      January 03, 08:26 Reply

      Dennis, you just had to elaborate the whole nine yards abi?!

      Eku ise o!

  4. Ace
    January 03, 05:42 Reply

    I need myself a fuck buddy then. But, can sex be just sex? In as much as we try to tell ourselves that they are no strings attached, we know that sex is a powerful synergy between two emotional entities. Emotions will run wild. I dunno, but if you are fucking one person for a long period of time… oh well, be the judge.

    • A-non
      January 03, 08:30 Reply

      @Ace, you only need to be worried if both of you are exclusive fuck buddies!

      If one of you has several other fuck buddies then the probability of wanting that transition is lessened…

      #mypersonalopinion

  5. Rapu'm
    January 03, 05:48 Reply

    The best sex I’ve hard have been with my fuck buddy. I’m comfortable with him and he with me. Bed-side communication is great. He’s bi (I sort of have a bisexual fetish, real bisexuals I mean, not the I-turned-myself-bisexual dudes). I’ve not had sex as much as I would love to, but the times I’ve had with him I’ve experimented more than a lot of people will do in a lifetime. On the floor. In the dining. Standing… So when I return to school, I try stuff with one or two people and it totally sucks. The ish is, I only get to see him on holidays, so. Bottom line (hey), I think fuck-buddies are awesome. Glad to know I’m not the only one who feels that way. And hey, about boundaries; come on, we’re fuck-buddies because OBVIOUSLY we don’t have the connection to be romantic with each other.

      • pinkpanthertb
        January 03, 05:59 Reply

        What? Did he break your heart with his not-so-innocent comment? 🙂

      • Rapu'm
        January 03, 06:32 Reply

        As in eh. Innocent kwa. I’ll be twenty in a few weeks, so I’ve earned it by remaining alive. If I die tomorrow, I’ll probably have billions of years of oblivion. Ever heard of Carpe Diem? Good.

    • Chuck
      January 03, 06:06 Reply

      fucking on the dining table isn’t that kinky

    • Max
      January 03, 06:32 Reply

      I agree, sex with fuck buddies are the Best..

  6. Ueze
    January 03, 05:54 Reply

    Sex is on my new year list…..that’s definitely a long way before a fuckbuddy. Hey Pink, does your new year list include a ‘more than three daily posts’ item? It’d make my year!

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 03, 05:58 Reply

      Hahahahahaa!!! Seeing as I didn’t make a list, what can I say?

      • Ueze
        January 03, 06:45 Reply

        Isn’t it only the third day of the year? How late can it get?

        Maybe not. Perhaps what I need is a little more involvement than just reading.

      • Colossus
        January 03, 10:41 Reply

        Yes, you can start writing. Share a story, your story, any story and do get involved.

  7. Colossus
    January 03, 06:09 Reply

    All these people suddenly looking for more than three posts a day, three no dey enough? “Keep Calm and read three posts a day”

  8. xpressivejboy
    January 03, 06:10 Reply

    I’ve been gloomy for so long a time…now I know what the ish is…Thanks Whoever The Author Is…

    Ace, sex is powerful and we all know that…if clearly stated from inception (establishing expectations) I want to believe FWB will, for as long as the parties invloved agree, remain FWB.

  9. xpressivejboy
    January 03, 06:24 Reply

    For those wanting more than 3 Posts a day…I’ve got Tips for U; take one as your morning dose…the other as lunch…and dine on the last at sun-set. That way, there wouldn’t be need for placards.

  10. Dennis Macauley
    January 03, 06:48 Reply

    Who are you please and what have you done with my prim and proper max?

    • Max
      January 03, 06:57 Reply

      Hahahahahahaha… Dennis dear, I’m still me oh.. That was in d past, but I can’t deny I enjoyed it.
      And BTW no one else shared my bed when I was in the fuck buddy bidniss, just him. #UnofficialDating
      I’ve since turned from those ways. ☺

  11. Dominic Obioha
    January 03, 06:57 Reply

    Speaking for myself….i’m almost incapable of emotions with guys as it fades away very quickly so iv practically been in a friends-with-benefits kind of relationships all my life and it fucking awesome! Emotions are messy…way to go

    • Lord II
      January 03, 07:32 Reply

      Dominic is this the new black or ish or whatever term you want to call what’s trending now? Coz it looks to me it’s brand new and I like it…hehehheehehe!

      • A-non
        January 03, 08:38 Reply

        Lord!!!

        I have my eyes on you now.

        *continues eating guguru and epa with pure water*

  12. KyrxxX
    January 03, 07:24 Reply

    I don’t think I can deal with this fuck buddy/FWB ish oh! I get too emotionally attached, protective nd wouldn’t want to feel deprived when they go into a relationship. Mbanu! Not a good feeling cha-cha! I’d rather stick to my headwarmer, sweater, blanket nd hot water! Thank you!

    • Lord II
      January 03, 07:37 Reply

      Awww Kryxx live a little boo. Dare to get someone warm under there and just maybe those happy induced hormones would finally be released. You just might feel a little better!

  13. Chizzie
    January 03, 08:14 Reply

    I’ve got one. He’s tall, dark fleshy, good looking. And an avid salad tossing enthusiast; Ive had my salad tossed with ice, honey and even beer all thanks to him and on some occasions we’ve gone at it for an hour! He’s also got an average sized dick so sex doesn’t hurt as much which is a big plus. But he behaves like a local yoruba market woman some times ( He’s Top) so this has forever relegated him to d FWB only till infinity and beyond, even though he has hinted occasionally that he wants us to be more than that.

    • Chuck
      January 03, 08:34 Reply

      How does a local yoruba market woman ( top or bottom) behave, please?

      • A-non
        January 03, 08:42 Reply

        @Chuck, I need that answer as much as you do because that line was such an anti-climax to Chizzie’s comments.

        Ngwa, Chizzie, over to you.

        *continues eating guguru ati epa with pure water*

      • Chizzie
        January 03, 09:01 Reply

        For starters they are really loud, suddenly switch to yoruba mid sentence when talking to you, forgetting that you are not yoruba and do not understand the language. When out in public they address everyone and everything in yoruba, and when on the phone its like the roar of an earthquake and Tsunami approaching, attributes that this person exhibits!

      • Deola
        January 03, 10:28 Reply

        ROTFL…I might just be guilty of doing this!!!
        Btw A-non that guguru ati epa that you are eating abeg share am come this side small.

      • Airdeecan
        January 03, 11:11 Reply

        Shit can be annoying as hell……d loudness is just nerve grating. But as long as u can bring (It) in bed…..keeping u and might be worth it.

      • trystham
        January 03, 15:59 Reply

        Excuse me. As I do not have money to shop in exquisite boutiques, has anyone tried shopping at Mandilas, Lagos Island?? Or Yaba??? I bet there is a poshness to the Igbo’s braying, hmmmm *files nails*…and let not that ‘abasha’ seller pass *blow dries gloss*

  14. Handsomely Inclined
    January 03, 10:34 Reply

    What happens to us who don’t have fuck buddies,who never had nko?

    Are we missing out especially now that I am in ugwu Hausa where the cold is in excess….

    Thinking about these guys who *bends down to urinate *or use kettle to wash their amu* will even make you remain a celebrate for a long time…

    • Max
      January 03, 10:41 Reply

      *celibate …..
      This comment had me laughing real hard…. Lmao @amu… Hahahaha hahahaha..
      Ugwu Hausa is a wormhole .. No action there.. Biko do and come back if you can.

    • Airdeecan
      January 03, 11:08 Reply

      Sweetie if you find one of em, evolved enough……my dear they can werk it(amu and ike alike), using water to wash their amu is not that bad. Take it from a brother who has been der.

  15. Handsomely Inclined
    January 03, 11:16 Reply

    @Max and Ardeacean,hahaha,I would soon leave biko…..just that I am here for a wedding and so,I decided taking a walk……only to see them bend down with their *amu uwa* like horse prick……

    At that moment,I will just be imagining where such weapon will enter…..

    Certainly not my temple of the Lord..

    That is fuck once and have yansh cancer….

  16. Airdeecan
    January 03, 11:17 Reply

    Since my last relationship 2years ago, I joined the FWB party and I’m a staunch member of the party……I mean, no drama, no hard feelings, readymade sex on speed dial and they won’t take offence if you refuse to spoon, cuddle or do gear box, what else do I need.

    • Max
      January 03, 12:37 Reply

      Gear box??? Now that’s a new one..

    • Airdeecan
      January 03, 12:47 Reply

      You know when after sex, one partner decides to hold on to your dick while sleeping…..that’s gear box…..an old friend of mine used it.

      • Ace
        January 03, 13:35 Reply

        Oh boy! Me want a gearbox too! God, this year shall not pass me. All these latino guys that keep looking at my ass with style everytime i do my squats at the gym may fit the bill. But wait o, isn’t it FWB kind of relationship that almost every gay guy is practising in Nigeria? Do we really have true lovers? *Innocent question*

      • Lord II
        January 03, 14:38 Reply

        Oh Ace you got the scoop at last

        If every guy here wants to be truthful that’s all they practice….even the ones that say they r in a relationship! Hmmm my foot. Let a sexy Latino or dark skinned Idris Elba wannabe strolls in to lagos to say hi to pinky on a cold wet night….lets see how she won’t give in! lol

      • Lothario
        January 04, 23:48 Reply

        Ahaaa! I wondered what that was….interesting!

  17. Brian Collins
    January 04, 22:10 Reply

    Ok so not having a phone sucks serious balls. I lose my phone and this post comes on. I guess I need to find me a fuck buddy. After one year out of practice, I feel like my bedroom skills might have become rusty. But I think there’s such a thing as muscle memory – a good ass never forgets.

  18. Lothario
    January 04, 23:44 Reply

    Hmmmmm Max, good to know you have a fun side…. lol

Leave a Reply