It was last year November. I was horny and simply had to check out what Grindr had to offer. So I logged in and began my hunt for some action to quench the fire burning in my loins.

I came across this profile, the owner who seemed very interested in meeting quickly, and I didn’t hesitate to holler him. The guy seemed nice and sounded honest about a quick hookup. His responses seemed to do be doing my konji many, many things, as I was hard throughout our chat. I was mostly pleased it was going along so easily, given that a lot of people come on Grindr and become moral professors, killing every vibe you enter the app with.

So I asked to see the picture of this guy. As I did, I was very much aware of the fact that a lot of people on Grindr have tons of fake pictures they send out and make it feel real even from a first chat, so I had my reservations about the pictures he was going to send. I asked anyway – well, because you can’t blame a dude whose dick and ass haven’t done any work in a long time.

He didn’t waste any time. He sent across two pictures that showed a guy who looked cool and okay to me. But I still had my doubts about the authenticity of the pictures regarding the person who sent them. However, my hesitation was erased when he sent some nudes as well. He’d told me he was versatile, and now here was a very beautiful cock staring me in the face. I was SOLD! He was definitely the one – the man for whom I’d been storing up my cum all this while.

I was tempted to send my own nudes to him, but my natural reserve had me holding back, and I sent him a couple of my pictures instead.

So we decided to meet not far from my estate in Maryland, Lagos. I asked him to meet me at a popular suya spot there and he agreed. At this time, it had become real, and I was suddenly aware that I was about to put myself out there. The awareness of horror stories of kito experiences clashed with my konji, caution warring with my libido. I wanted to have sex. But I did not like this unknown that comes with hooking up with someone online.

So I decided to give myself some insurance, just in case I’d need it. I had a hand knife (a small dagger really) that I carried about with me sometimes. Whenever it wasn’t on me, I put it away in my clothes box. I went in there and rooted it out, and tucked it on me, out of sight. I dressed simply, topping off my T-shirt and denims with a black face-cap, drawing it down to cover my face a little. Then I stepped out, making sure to leave my smartphone and gadgets at home, switching my sim instead into a smaller phone.

At some point, I began to feel like I was going out for a fight, like I was already anticipating trouble. But I didn’t mind. I may be stricken by intense konji, but I was not going to be stupid. When your gut is whispering caution to you, you don’t ignore it.

I got to our rendezvous before he arrived, intending to scope him out once I got his call. I went to a corner opposite the suya spot and waited. After a while, I got a call. He was there, and I spotted him the moment we began talking on the phone. He told me he couldn’t stay long because he had something else to do. This surprised me, because the person I chatted with on Grindr had even wanted to sleep over. What brought on this change of mind, I wondered.

I responded that it was fine. He asked me to hurry out. I said I was on my way. Meanwhile, I was drifting closer to the suya spot so I could catch a better glimpse of his face without giving myself away. He was busy with his phone anyway. When I did get a good look at his face, I was again surprised to see that the face was different from what his pictures on Grindr had promised. His body structure was also different – everything looked different. I began to feel like a customer who had purchased something online and had a downgraded version delivered to him.

It didn’t occur to me to turn around and ghost on him. I approached him. When he saw me, he smiled a little and said, “Hello, James…”

I nodded my acknowledgment and asked if he found it difficult to get here. He said no.

As we exchanged pleasantries, my heart was beating fast with a whirl of emotions. The guy’s online deception had me feeling guarded. I assessed him; he was as tall as I am, 6’1, and with broad shoulders too. I tried to imagine us in a tussle, and tried to stay calm. I suggested going towards my area, that there is a garden somewhere close where we could sit in and talk and acquaint ourselves with each other more. He said OK.

As we began walking, his phone rang and he picked it, speaking to the caller in Igbo, “Yes, I am there now.” I remembered I’d told whoever I chatted with on Grindr that I am from Edo State – a lie, because I am Igbo.

For some reason, the fact that he was communicating in a language he didn’t think I’d understand infuriated me. On top of his deceit regarding his pics, I was starting to get filled with a heavy rush of resentment and suspicion. I reached into my pocket to feel the reassuring presence of my knife.

Something about my sudden tension must have communicated itself to him, because he began to act fidgety. I looked wildly around, wondering if he had people lying in wait for me or if this setup was going to be perpetuated by just him. I didn’t want to find out; I had to show this guy that I was a dangerous person to mess with, just in case he had any ideas.

We were on a lonely stretch of road. I whipped out my knife and lunged at him, spitting the word “Ole” at him. He recoiled from me, stumbled and fell to the ground. He rolled quickly away from me, and I went after him, going for another stab attempt. He ducked, leapt to his feet and took off. I ran after him, but he was quicker on his feet, running fast and not looking back. I didn’t pursue him for very long, because I was suddenly scared that he might have his own guys waiting to strike.

So, driven by a sudden surge of paranoia, I turned and fled another way, running too like someone was pursuing me. I didn’t go back home; I instead went to Gbagada, to a friend’s house where I narrated what happened to him. He commended me on my alertness and jokingly wished I’d gotten the motherfucker with my knife.

It took me about a week before I could move about my area without looking back or wondering if anyone was after me. Eventually, my unease passed and life moved on.

Written by James Chuks

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  1. Mandy
    April 14, 08:26 Reply

    I’m sorry but this is hilarious, because I don’t believe you were going to get kitoed. I actually think the other guy was himself afraid of you and you kito-ing him. lol. This paranoia sha… That’s what we get in a society that’s out to get us.

    • Vince
      April 18, 00:01 Reply

      Mandy, I completely agree with you. The guy was probably talking to someone to let him know of his destination without being embarrassed or even alerting the potential kito-er… I would totally do that too…

  2. Orobo Hunter
    April 14, 08:42 Reply

    Hi James, real bullet you dodged there.. It must have been a really traumatic experience.. Sorry about that.. Just to be clear, you were planning to stab this person in public?

    • James
      April 14, 09:07 Reply

      To me at the time it was for me to attack first before I get attacked. Am sure you familiar with streets in Mende area of Maryland. It’s usually very quiet in the afternoons. With just few bike guys going in and out . The bottom line is I wanted to scare him aware too and show off as a thug too

  3. James
    April 14, 09:04 Reply

    Everything changed when the stranger spoke to someone and told him ” Yes am here! ” coupled with the fact that I didn’t know was gonna happen , I attempted the little knife to scare him , but when I did, I realised he was also not surprised I did so. He didn’t even ask for one second or pretended to ask me what is it. He was also combat ready.
    P.s the little knife was about 3 inches and would not have killed him or something !

  4. James
    April 14, 09:43 Reply

    The idea for me was to make the aggressor scared as well.

  5. James
    April 14, 10:08 Reply

    Desperate times requires desperate measures

  6. Kenny
    April 14, 12:23 Reply

    I don’t think it was a kito situation…. He catfished you yes but he came to your turf and was going with you. The call could have been to inform someone of his whereabouts. This is sad…. Everybody is scared of everybody these days.

  7. Red
    April 14, 13:37 Reply

    Or maybe the call he made that scared you was a call to his friend to let said friend know of good whereabouts should you try to kito him.

  8. Shuga chocolata
    April 14, 18:21 Reply

    James, seriously I do get you but you went top notch this time.
    He catfised you yes, and I usually do so in grindr *rolls eyes* only when I don’t feel like meeting, If you interact with me there I usually get to hear stories and make situations light.

    If I dig anyone, I’ll request Facetime, IMO, Whatsapp, bbm , IG and facebook, just to check mutuals.

    I’ve gone for hook up that I went with all my gadgets because konji was a bastard, and immediately I got to the rendezvous, brought them out to charge, it Happened in Tedi village, satellite town Lagos.

    While some I ask my BFF to call me after 5minutes I reach the meeting point.

    It’s not easy but you scared the shit outta the dude. ????

  9. paradox
    April 15, 13:05 Reply

    All these situations that will not allow one’s inner whore shine through. I’m just tired

  10. James
    April 15, 18:17 Reply

    Hahahahaha. Guys make una no blame me . I have heard too many Kito staories and seen so many people hurt that I don’t ever want to be in that situation. The best way to learn is to learn from people mistakes !

    • razup
      April 16, 03:31 Reply

      Whao! reading all this kito stories scary hell out me and make me realize how many time i have put myself in line of danger. So what is the best way to meet people? I must confess i have meet number of guys on Grindr some of them we remains good friend. While some just a drink over dinner or lunch. I must be very luck so far.

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