Lifeguard Gets Email From Boss Complaining About Large, “Visible Anatomy”

Lifeguard Gets Email From Boss Complaining About Large, “Visible Anatomy”

A twenty-two-year-old lifeguard recently shared this email from his boss on imgur, complaining about his large member:im 1im 2im 3

Two years ago, he shared more of his story on Reddit, writing:

I just found this page, and thought I’d share my story and see if other people have had some of the same issues. So I’m 20 now, and up until a few years ago I thought I was average. In school health class they never really talked about what the average size was, and I never really bothered to compare myself to other guys. Obviously, the guys in the porn that I’d seen had huge dicks and I didn’t really think that maybe they would be above average at the time. When I was around 14, I joined my high school’s swim team and experienced a school locker room for the first time. I had taken gym class in middle school, but there were no showers, and we never got down to anything past our underwear so I never really noticed anything different about me other than I had more body hair than most of the other guys. I started puberty pretty early and I was one of the few in my class to have pit hair, a happy trail, etc.

When I joined my high school’s team, I learned that we, first of all, had to wear Speedos, which I had never done before, and second of all, had to take showers before and after practice and meets. Like in most schools’ locker rooms, the showers were communal with no privacy. The first day, I went into the locker room like everyone else, we got our Speedos and were told to shower and change into them for the first practice. (Keep in mind, up until this point in my life, no one else had really seen me naked except maybe my doctor and my parents from when I was really young.) We got into the showers and I just tried to focusing on getting in and out as quickly as possible. That part went fine, as far as I knew, and I walked over to the lockers to get my suit on. I had a few friends on the team with me, and as I was changing, one of them came up to me and said something along the lines of, “Dude, your dick is huge.” I didn’t believe him since I thought I was average, but the next practice I looked around in the showers and noticed most of the other guys were maybe 1-2 inches soft, and I was closer to 4.5. From that day on, in every locker room and public shower I go to, I get looks, some of them of interested guys and some of them disgusted looks from guys who probably think I’m being a show-off.

For the four years I was in high school, I stayed on the swim team and took two years of standard gym class. Every day in the locker room, I’d see guys glancing in my direction, trying not to make it obvious that they’re looking, then whispering to their friends. I had friends with me in the room in most of these situations, and they would usually just tell me not to let it bother me, but it usually would. I eventually got used to wearing the Speedos, even though I had the most noticeable bulge on the team, at that point we were all usually focusing on other things, so it didn’t matter as much.

I’m now 20, a freshman in college, and on my college’s swim team. Generally, the guys are more mature in the locker rooms than in high school, but occasionally I’ll catch some guys laughing and trying not to make it obvious that they’re looking. Being in the United States, most guys are circumcised, and I’ve always been the only uncut guy in the locker room (that I noticed anyways), so that might have something to do with the looks as well. Last time I measured a few months ago, I was 5.5-6 inches soft and between 8.75 and 9.5 inches hard depending on my arousal, the temperature, and who knows what else. I believe I’m also fairly above average in girth, but I haven’t measured that. I assume I’m done growing since it’s been about the same size for a year or so.

Wearing any kind of athletic shorts (Under Armour, Nike, etc. basketball/lacrosse shorts) produces a noticeable bulge, to the point where some people have thought I had a boner. I avoid skinny jeans, but normal jeans are generally fine, especially if I have a longer shirt that can cover that area a little bit. I actually wear jeans for as long as I can before the weather gets too hot because I never look forward to wearing shorts. Even with normal swim trunks / board shorts, there is a fairly large bulge, especially when getting out of the water.

I’ve actually been asked by the management at several water parks to wear “appropriate swimwear” the next time because apparently in their rules, they have a section about “revealing swimwear”.

Like many others have posted here, it touches the toilet water when soft, and presses up against the side of the bowl when hard.

I haven’t had a ton of sex, but the few times that I have, or have tried, the girl was either too scared because of the size, or we had to stop shortly after because it was hurting her. I’m bi, but I’ve never had sex (anal) with a guy. Only one person has been able to deepthroat it all the way. Regular sized-condoms are generally too tight, so I usually go for the larger sizes.

Trying to talk about these things with friends has been hit or miss. 99% of my guy friends are straight, and generally don’t like talking about any of this for fear of sounding too “gay”. Some of them will indulge my complaints sometimes, but I try not to bring it up too often. Finding someone that will actually listen, give helpful advice, or can actually relate, has been challenging, so I generally have been keeping these things to myself.

I think that about sums it up, if anyone has any questions or comments or anything feel free to comment. Thanks for reading. 🙂

What advice would you give him?

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  1. Jeova Sanctus Unus
    January 29, 05:29 Reply

    How about you come to Nigeria and help the Social Service Agency?

    BTW, PP take it easy down there. You’d bruise yaself. Here. *hand you lube* A lil gentlier now.

    *catches James smacking his lips* Hey, you! Go paint something and it better not be an anatomic bomb.


    On his cockiness, he should get a pouch or tort bag. Which one be soft dick touching toilet water? You dey sit inside? Nke a bu ‘afu nwoke, afu ototo amu ya’. Nwanna, amusiligi ike! You were born strong!

  2. Kenny
    January 29, 06:48 Reply

    I can relate. But in this part of the world, if you’re like this, you’re hailed and names like Dickson becomes your name or is added to your name. I don’t think he was being a show off though.

  3. Max 2.0
    January 29, 07:10 Reply

    Someone is bothered because they have a long shlong? Who would’ve thunk it..

  4. ambivalentone
    January 29, 07:27 Reply

    Lol. His dick print prolly causes more pool attacks than pool saves. “Let’s meet tomorrow morning to discuss…” sounds soooo *shudders in anticipation*

    • #Chestnut
      January 29, 07:32 Reply

      LMAO! Trysthie,u know u’re gliding to hell on a hoverboard,right?

  5. #Chestnut
    January 29, 07:31 Reply

    Hahaha! Oya oga,choose one: ur job or a preeqectomy!
    But wait o,he wrote this looooooong(no pun intended) about a dick that isn’t up to 10 inches at it’s best? Na wah. If he now sees what some naija boyz are carrying,what will he write?

  6. wiffey
    January 29, 07:42 Reply

    Abeg abeg abeg
    all this tori for a 9.5?
    biko i have seen bigger an it doesnt go on CNN.
    well i dont blame him, he comes from a place where the usually have small pin chargers and as they say “in the land of the blind the 1 eye guy is king”

    *goes back to brushing my weave*

    oh an i cant wait for the follow up story where he becomes a porn star.

    • ambivalentone
      January 29, 08:10 Reply

      Lol. Ooto lo de so o. I guess he will coming to our home porn screens soon

    • Max 2.0
      January 29, 09:16 Reply

      Careful with the numbers, most people over-estimate their size. Until you actually take a tape and measure, I don’t think you’re supposed to be boasting about your size or other people’s. A 6.5inch cock is very big if you’ve seen one before, but you’re most likely going to mistake it for an 8 incher.

      Get a tailor’s tape and measure, youll be shocked. Porn/pornstars have created these fake numbers and most people roll with it without ever checking, they just assume.

        • pete
          January 29, 13:26 Reply

          PP, you want to embark on a prick-measuring project?

  7. bruno
    January 29, 08:17 Reply

    men’s obsession with penis size is amusing

    • Pink Panther
      January 29, 10:18 Reply

      What are you doing looking at your lodgemate’s own, eh Jojo? 🙂

  8. Promise4all
    January 29, 10:26 Reply

    I just hope his HOMELAND hotels Nekede Employs him, at least it will force me to learn swimming 😉

  9. Delle
    January 29, 10:45 Reply

    This lifeguard would make me DROWN anytime! What a ding-dong!

    Actually, I don’t know why he’s so bothered about his dick size, is 9.5inches that obscure? I mean, maybe for a white guy but it’s something to be proud of and honey, that bulge in a swimwear gives me life! Just embrace yourself.

    The thirst is that letter was real! Lol…I could imagine the man writing with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. ‘Let’s meet tomorrow morning’…just baba God that knows what went down just then!

  10. Khaleesi
    January 29, 11:39 Reply

    dude your dick size isnt that uncommon in this part of the world, there r lots of guys carrying bigger ones sef … i guess its cos of where you live …

  11. Handle
    January 29, 11:56 Reply

    Just ran a search “22 yrs od lifeguard with huge cock” but all i got was pornhub. Hey PP, more details needed.

  12. Stein
    January 29, 13:16 Reply

    It’s just not that big

  13. Tobby
    January 29, 13:27 Reply

    Just chop a bit of it off ^__^

    • Pink Panther
      January 29, 15:29 Reply

      Eww Tobby. LMAO. Don’t be such a candidate for hell

  14. D-boy
    January 29, 16:09 Reply

    First of all , he needs to chill. It’s not that uncommon. That being said, huge penises are only great to look at and a lot of work. I am fine with an average length anyday. My ex was not only long but had girth for ages. The best thing was I always knew when I had his ‘ attention’. *winks*

  15. KingBey
    January 29, 17:26 Reply

    This one has not seen Olu’s dick or that of Abbey in this Lagos. Lol. He will just goan siddon ! Ofugo kwanu amu nwere akwara. ???

    January 30, 11:31 Reply

    @KingBey……..pls!!!! throw more lights on this biko…….

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