THE DAY WHEN WE JUST ARE (A Message About Pride)

You must think gay people do too much, especially with the whole Pride thing. I can see you thinking: We know that they are gay, so there is no need to make a big fuss about it. And why do they need to come out? I mean you do not see a straight person needing to come out.

These are the things I see you complaining about every time Pride Month comes around and all the rainbow colours and gay fabulousness become loud everywhere you look. You see the pride parades, the stores selling pride-branded merchandise, the internet hashtags and the people always posting things about pride on their social media pages – and you heave a sigh of exasperation at the annual repetitiveness of it all. You even manage to make the acquaintance of a few gay people who share your aggravation at all the pomp and attention that the community demands this time of year.

But those are self-loathing internal homophobes – so they don’t count. And if you lot would take a moment out of your prejudices, you would perhaps understand the importance of it all: the pride parades, and merchandise, and music and posts, and all the other forms of awareness. I choose to call it awareness because it is not just a stand; it is also a never-ending awareness campaign.

You think we are doing too much? Well, think about it this way: from the moment you are aware of your sexuality, you start to live in fear. Sometimes, even before you are able to understand why you are so different, you already have an idea how much of an abomination you are to the world around you. And the sad part is that it doesn’t matter where you are from or the color of your skin, you immediately become a target for hate. People before you have been taught to hate people like you. It is in your culture. It is in your religion. Even you at some point have been taught to hate who you are. A few people have been blessed with the opportunity of be born into a family that would replace the hate with love and understanding. Not many people get this good fortune. Also, not many people have the ability to hide who they are. So, the next time you want to complain about gay people shoving their sexuality in your face, STOP and think about how all they are trying to do is exist. Think about how who they are is so evident, that they live in fear every waking hour of their life. Fear of a world that has been conditioned to hate them.

And so, Pride for them – for us – is a way of saying: Enough of the bullshit!

Enough of the cowering in fear!

Enough of being made to feel like a secondhand human being!

It is about saying: I am queer. I am not an abomination. I am a human being.

And you should deal with it!

It is us being reminded that we must choose to live freely, and not hide anymore.

And of course, heterosexual people, people like you, do not have to come out, because it is assumed from birth that everyone is heterosexual, that everyone is like you. That anybody who identifies differently is a perversion or a disorder.

For gay people, coming out is simply saying: I am not what you assume I am. And I am speaking up to show that my sexuality, that who I am, is valid and I am not ashamed of it.

So no, gay people are not doing the most. They are actually doing the barest minimum. So, instead of kvetching and lamenting the woes of the inconvenience all our loudness is causing you, why not join us to tell the world that we are here, valid and deserving – until such a day comes when the message will no longer be necessary, because we just are.

Happy Pride Month, everyone!

Written by Roland