I can almost equate this feeling to that of a grieving woman who lost her husband to cancer and her only son to war in some faraway land from home.

Five months ago, I could’ve called myself the happiest person in the world, because I met him! Yes. Him!

I remember thinking deep before I sent the friend request on Facebook. And then I did and the request was immediately accepted. Before long, we had begun chatting. Our conversations were very interesting, filled with humour (we were even exchanging voice notes of our laughter).

And soon, he was “falling in love” with me. Dude asked me out! Right there on Facebook! Don’t forget, we’d only been chatting and haven’t had any physical contact yet. I am in Nigeria. He’s in Cyprus.

As open and ready to love as I was, I accepted his proposal and agreed to maintain a relationship, even though I hadn’t seen him in person; although I told him to ask me out again when we finally meet upon his return to Nigeria. Lol.

Life proceeded to get really hard for me (pun intended), because I had to start turning down propositions of sex, dialing down my high testosterone, because I was trying to stay faithful, even though I had no idea how many times he was  getting head in Cyprus.

Fast forward to March 22nd, during one of our intense conversations on WhatsApp, his message had just dropped in. For a moment, I stared at the digital print, unable to believe my eyes.

Bae, my girlfriend is on my neck! She’s asking for too much. Money, pictures… Kai! I’m tired.

I found myself fighting the urge to restart my phone, hoping the message would go away and then I’d think it had all been in my head.

My girlfriend?!

His girlfriend?!

Since when?!

Feeling numb, I typed back a response: Girlfriend? I never knew you had a girlfriend.

He replied: Lol. I’m into girls too. This one is the third girl in my life. I didn’t like her initially. She just came to me and I began to like her gradually.

I felt like screaming at him. What was he doing giving me a history on his love life – with a girl he had never mentioned?

Grateful that we weren’t face to face for me to have to battle to keep my expression in check, I typed: So does that mean you’ll gradually like everybody that ‘comes to you’?

I felt beset by anger and jealousy. I was angry because I hadn’t known he was bisexual and in another relationship (not like I have a problem with bisexuals). I was jealous because, well, I’d grown to care very much for him, and as selfish as I am, I wasn’t looking to share.

I went on to tell him that I didn’t like the fact that he has a girlfriend while I was still in the picture. I wanted all his love on me, and in response, he called me weird. Apparently, he didn’t see how wrong it was to have a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time.

I fumed silently, feeling oddly stung by a sense of betrayal. How could he think that? Of course, as long as I’m not in the picture, he can go on to have a harem of 700 women and 600 men. How could he be so facetious with our commitment?

Well, he’ll be home in two weeks, poised to be welcomed by his girlfriend and his boyfriend.

How fantastic!

Written by Tali

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  1. peach-head
    April 03, 08:08 Reply

    Lol, this defines it all, Love is hopeless!!!

    • Mandy
      April 03, 09:02 Reply

      You keep protesting love, but deep down, you want love too. 😀 Deep down you wish you’ll find love.

      • peach-head
        April 03, 14:39 Reply

        LOL biko mandy how can anyone find what they dont believe exist?

    • Lorde
      April 03, 11:12 Reply

      See what i was telling you this morning? @pinky

  2. Zemocrush
    April 03, 08:52 Reply

    I can relate with this, when i got to know he had a girlfriend while we were dating,
    Me: you never told me you had a gf
    Him: you never asked!
    I was practically drained, I can’t really understand how you can claim to love two people at the same time.

      • Zemocrush
        April 03, 16:57 Reply

        Well, you’re right. Maybe I think differently though, I expected if I should tell you everything without you asking, you should hold back on nothing, I stand to be corrected.

    • Tali
      April 03, 11:49 Reply

      Lol. Now that’s serious. How did you handle it?

      • Zemocrush
        April 03, 17:03 Reply

        A lot was already happening then, that was just the catalyst or spice to the end of it. I can’t seem to process dating two people at the same time. I don’t have issues dating a bisexual if and only if he’s single, not with a divided life.

  3. beejay
    April 03, 08:56 Reply

    Hello! I think someone needs to update the dictionary definition of a love triangle. I think you should open yourself to it though. It’s a new experience, give in to it, see where it leads… Only question is, would he be so open to his girlfriend as well?

    • Mandy
      April 03, 09:12 Reply

      Story! The girlfriend always gets the preferential treatment of being in the dark. This one na love right angle, where one side is shorter than 2 other sides. Lol

      • beejay
        April 03, 10:42 Reply

        LMFAO! You just had to ruin a good thing, didn’t ya? And here I was, already seeing a threesome in a not-so-far-off future. *sighs very loudly*

    • Tali
      April 03, 11:54 Reply

      Okay well actually i haven’t closed the book yet. We had a conversation further. He’s actually saying he doesn’t care about her anymore,but I’ll wait for his arrival. You’ll know what happens after that.

      • beejay
        April 03, 12:55 Reply

        You better! this here, is one guy who’ll be countin’ the days.

  4. Mandy
    April 03, 09:06 Reply

    Yet another bisexual makes it just a little bit harder for the world of gay men to trust the bi community. ???

    • bain
      April 03, 12:51 Reply

      biko! biko!!…don’t use the misdoings of one or two or well Hundreds of Bisexuals to judge the Bi community.

    • FJ
      April 03, 16:19 Reply

      between the polygamists and the serial monogamists…most gay are equally culpable of the so called abominable

  5. Delle
    April 03, 09:58 Reply

    This is just the reason. Why deceive people? I can’t deal abeg

    • Tali
      April 03, 11:56 Reply

      I’m telling you. Its not a nice feeling at all.
      *wipes sweat*

  6. ambivalentone
    April 03, 10:11 Reply

    Looool. I hope the first thing u did was call up one of ur rejected potential bae on this ur journey of forced celibacy and one-sided fidelity. That’s what I wud do

    • Tali
      April 03, 11:58 Reply

      Lmfao?. You know,I didn’t even think about it.

  7. bain
    April 03, 12:48 Reply

    If he sticks to one person,will he die??…
    Is it not even mentally draining?,Dating two people at a time.
    yet people embark on such roads?.

    • Francis
      April 03, 16:11 Reply

      Some people are just blessed with the stamina for it

  8. Johnny
    April 03, 17:26 Reply

    Lol. When you think you are the only one.
    I can relate.
    Pinky your email please.

  9. Fresh
    April 03, 18:46 Reply

    Dude you would have asked him these two different questions ” do you have a girlfriend and are you someone’s boyfriend?”.

  10. Krestien
    April 04, 17:21 Reply

    Why can’t people get it?
    There’s nothing wrong with dating a bisexual and neither is it wrong to date a girl and a guy, the problem is that u guys are just scared and brimming with Inferiority complex,
    What if he leaves me?
    What if the girl gives him better?
    What if he loves her more?

    Too many selfish ifs n whatifs,
    N yes the entire Nigerian Gay society is Biphobic, sometimes don’t u just wish u could take out the “B” from the LGBT,

    • Pink Panther
      April 05, 06:10 Reply

      There is nothing wrong with dating a bisexual.
      That’s where you should’ve stopped at. Because there’s something wrong with dating a guy and a girl. It’s called cheating. Are you, clearly a bisexual, validating the claim that bisexuals are cheaters?

    • Krestien
      April 05, 09:40 Reply

      That’s ur own deduction doe,
      You can’t sate both with one, well you wouldn’t understand now will you??

      • Pink Panther
        April 05, 09:53 Reply

        I’m astonished. I wouldn’t understand? Are you honestly trying to justify cheating based on the fact that two genders are involved? Because it’s a guy and a girl, it doesn’t matter?

        And somehow, on top of that ignorant justification, you’re attempting to condescend to me?

        Boy! You need serious education.

    • Tali
      April 05, 21:41 Reply

      Believe me,you are on a long thing?
      Who told you it’s cool for a guy to be dating a guy and a girl at the same time?? Its fucking wrong! And mind you,inferiority complex doesn’t follow. That’s a hot lie!
      Don’t call the entire Nigerian Gay community biphobic. Because you have met one doesn’t mean the rest are. You really need to learn a lot.

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