Waka Pass Diaries

Waka Pass Diaries

August 22

There are some guts some people get, some kind of liver they carry that makes me wonder if we’re all in this same homophobic, gay-hating country together.

A few days ago, I was at ICM to see a movie with a friend. I got to the mall before her so I decided to wait for her in Cold Stone. ICM these days fa, no waiting area for free o. Wherever you sit, you must buy from them or else their security will come shoo you away. I wanted to have ice cream anyway, so I bought Cold stone and settled into a booth, reading my Shopaholic novel while slurping through my ice cream.

Then this nice-looking guy approaches my booth from the counter. He’s just bought his own ice cream and very politely asks to share my table with me. I found him asking very nice and odd as well, because I hadn’t colonised the table. He could’ve just sat without having to ask me. And it wasn’t the ‘I’d like to sit please’ kind of asking. It was the ‘Can I please share your table’ kind, complete with a pause, as though he was waiting for me to give my permission first.

I said “Sure”, and he sat. I was barely even disturbed by his getting settled at the table.

So there we were, going through our ice cream and reading books. He’d brought out a book to read too.

It wasn’t long before I felt his foot brush against mine under the table. Without thinking anything about it, I moved my leg away. Seconds later, his leg made contact again. This time, I reckoned he was looking for leg space, so again I moved mine out of the way. Then the third time was a more deliberate motion: he actually brought his leg and placed it halfway on top of mine.

Startled, I looked up at him. He caught my eye and winked. My brethren, my instant thought was: Chimooo! They have come to kito me in Cold Stone.

I was almost done with my ice cream by this time, so I kuku hastily scooped up the few remaining mouthfuls, dumped my book in my bag and fled.

It wasn’t until I was on the escalator heading upstairs to the cinema that I entertained the thought that perhaps he was just a thirsty gay man with a good gaydar who’d zoned in on me and was just trying to get something started.

But then, when you’ve been Pink Panther for the length of time that I’ve been, reading through and listening to too many horror kito stories, then your instinct to what may be harmless flirting will always be paranoia instead of pleasure.

Written by Pink Panther

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  1. WhoIsUgo
    August 23, 06:26 Reply

    Lmao. Good call abeg. Everyday is not for hookup

    • Delle
      August 23, 09:56 Reply

      All of you are just prudes abeg. I’d rather a guy like that. People have exhausted every pick up line, playing footsie. At probably be his own ‘unique’ way?

  2. Kenny
    August 23, 08:23 Reply

    LMAO ? ?

    He could have just made small talks instead of playing footsie na

    • Mandy
      August 23, 08:25 Reply

      I swear. ??? Heck, they both had books. He could’ve started from “Please can I see the name of the book you’re reading?”
      Such amateur moves.

  3. Mandy
    August 23, 08:24 Reply

    ???? Pinky, you do well. Be a beacon of example on how cautious we must all always be.

  4. beejay
    August 23, 08:38 Reply

    Personally I find this disrespectful and offensive. I mean just because you think you know someone’s sexual identity doesn’t mean they’d automatically want to get freaky with you, in a public booth no less?

    • Kenny
      August 23, 08:52 Reply

      Calm down there’s no indication from the story that the guy wanted them to get down right there and then… .. He could have been winking as a way of saying ‘I KNOW’. He only made his moves poorly that’s all

  5. Bain
    August 23, 09:10 Reply

    This brings back a recent memory. The nigga stalked me from where I have lunch daily (post countless eye contacts and winks) to where I work,just to ask for my number, I declined cuz,well,kito and I don’t want no troubles.

  6. Delle
    August 23, 09:54 Reply

    My own is, don’t cock-block yasef!

    A new series from PP. ?

    Ndi LASITC, how was the funeral?

  7. Jo
    August 23, 10:48 Reply

    I love this series! The audacity!

  8. omiete
    August 23, 12:44 Reply

    Chimoo!!! Abeg these days there are phobes in gay clothings. better safe than sorry mbok.

  9. Dizzy boy
    August 23, 14:04 Reply

    The part that got to me was.. Chimooo! They have come to kito me in Cold Stone…it’s like ur village people follow u to cold stone… Hhahahahahahah…. The fear of kito is d beginning of wisdom. Had a similar experience like that at Mat ice not long ago..

  10. quinn
    August 23, 14:21 Reply

    Had me at “can I sit at your table!”?

  11. trystham
    August 23, 15:18 Reply

    Francis has done a number on u, Pinky. That said, I’m not unsure he doesn’t know u. You are quite popular

  12. DeadlyDarius
    August 23, 20:28 Reply

    Hay God! Who will coman romance me in public soon oh? Lemme do and return to Eko mbok

  13. Pankar
    August 24, 09:01 Reply

    “Wherever you sit, you must buy from them or else their security will come shoo you away”

  14. xoxa
    August 26, 10:03 Reply


    Awwwww, the story got me awwwwing

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