Waka Pass Diaries (Coming Out To Love)

Waka Pass Diaries (Coming Out To Love)

March 10

When you come out and it goes well, when you look someone you care about in the eye and say, “I am gay”, and (s)he responds, “You’re still my person and I’ll love you no matter what”, it always feels like the world has righted itself just a little bit.

I recently came out to a close friend of mine. Let’s call him Tiga.

Last year November, I was going through a bit of depression, and Tiga caught on to my dark mood. And he began asking me what was wrong. Right after I told him I’d tell him when I see him, I began to doubt. I wasn’t sure I wanted to open up to him. You see, his views on LGBT issues have never really been defined and I was afraid that if I come out to him, I would confront his homophobia and be forced to cut him out of my life.

And I didn’t want that; this guy is a very close friend and one of the rocks in my life. I love him very much and I didn’t want to risk changing anything. When I spoke to a friend about my conundrum, he encouraged me to not tell him. As long as he was being a good friend and not being homophobic to my knowledge, I should let things be.

I agreed. And so, whenever Tiga buzzed me for us to see and have our talk, I’d postpone.

Then the day happened when I attended a book club meet. He is of course in the book club. After we discussed books and the society in the meet, the entire book club gang relocated to a karaoke bar nearby to sing and dance and drink.

There were a bunch of us in the club who are gay and bi and friends, and once we were in the bar, we commandeered a section of it where we proceeded to make homosexual noise. We laughed the loudest, sang the fabulous-est and told one girl that came to our corner that she couldn’t sit with us. It was a merry crowd in the bar, and we, the minority, weren’t afraid of being the merriest.

I noticed Tiga observing us all this while, but he didn’t approach. Then I went to the gents, and on my way back, he waylaid me.

“We need to have that talk,” he said before he shepherded me out of the bar to the pool section outside.

We sat. He looked at me. I looked at him, took in a breath, and said, “Tiga, I’m gay.”

He didn’t flinch or recoil. He was still looking at me attentively, as though saying: Ehen? Is that all? Continue na.

So I continued. I talked. He talked. We hugged. And as we walked back into the bar, he said, “Just live. That’s all that’s important. Live without an apology to anyone.”

I smiled in response and said, “I know. I’m already doing that.”

When you come out and it goes well, when you look someone you care about in the eye and say, “I am gay”, and (s)he responds, “You’re still my person and I’ll love you no matter what”, it always feels like the world has righted itself just a little bit.

Written by Pink Panther

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  1. Higwe
    March 11, 14:22 Reply

    Never found the need to tell anyone I’m gay, no one comes to me telling me they’re straight.
    As long as I ain’t hitting on you, my sexuality not your business.

    • baddest
      March 11, 16:25 Reply

      As in who,why do they need that information,anyone close to you will suspect and if they love you enough,they will make you feel comfortable… the most important thing is how you re important to people,how happy are you?when people know your world is rocking without them,they will accept you for who you are..Make sure you are relevant and believe you will have nothing to worry about as long as you don’t embarrass yourself in public

  2. Quinn
    March 11, 18:17 Reply

    I let my sister know about it, after all my fears and she tells me it’s fine and infact she has a thing for girls too ?.

  3. flame
    May 18, 15:57 Reply

    Many times now I’ve played with the idea of coming out to Michael – My ‘brother from another mother’ as we say. His humanity (humanness) is not in doubt. He has empathy. All the more reasons we can relate as bffs. Each time i consider telling him, these are the things i keep wanting to reassure myself of; but somehow i end uo not telling him….
    This is the opening paragraph of one of the (incomplete) stories on my ‘locked notepads’. Lol.
    Thank you for writing about this. PS I am not telling Michael anytime soon. PS Is the fact that he can say ‘I love you bro’ with a straight face and i cant, the exact metaphor for my being gay? LOL

    Admin, how can I send in entries!!!!

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