Dear KD: What Do I Do About The Man I Love From Afar?
Sometime last year, I met this guy on Grindr. It was supposed to be a hookup, no strings attached, because he doesn’t live in Nigeria. But one thing led to another, and I was at his place the weekend after our hookup and the one after that and on and on for about 5 months before he left. It was a very emotional departure, oh Lord, I cried. And I don’t cry, like, I am quite the hard-hearted bitch.
We shared something deep. We fell in love. The distance thing is killing me. We talk, chat and video-call every day, but I can’t help but want more. Breaking up with him is not an option I can envisage because I’m insanely in love with him. He really tries his best though with constant communication and stuff. With the different time zones and work shifts, I don’t get enough of him, but we chat and do all our regulars every day.
What do I do? I want more of him but he isn’t here and I love him so much and I can’t let distance fuck things up. This is the first real relationship I’ve been in.
Submitted by Tristan
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16 Comments
Rayjay
November 14, 04:29Tell him to invite u to where he is.
Make plans towards visiting him
Canis VY Majoris
November 14, 06:40Aww. Loving from a distance can be a bitch.
But he’s not in Mars, so you don’t need NASA’s help to get to him.
Get on a plane and go receive the doze of love you both deserve.
Breaking up due to long distance just means you don’t have what it takes to endure. Especially because the ones closer ain’t shit and worth the chance of ending something good.
Virtual love is a THING and exists!
Gad
November 14, 06:47Meticulously plan a relocation but always bear the word “caution” in mind
Tristan
November 15, 10:44I can’t relocate, not right now, I got important stuff going on here: school being the most important atm.
trystham
November 14, 07:37Emotional on whose part? You both or just yours? If it were both of u, it’s still good. Chances are the feelings are mutual and something might grow. Bur uncle, if its just on ur part, beta stay in ur bootycall lane and tryna delete dem deleterious emotions. Those shii can like to give headache
Francis
November 14, 07:38You first real relationship just had to be a long distance one. Na who you offend oh to deserve this kain stress?
Tristan
November 15, 10:49I know it’s crazy. I didn’t even believe there was love at out there. When I accepted this, I knew what I wanted but then through the years, everyone I came across didn’t want the same thing as me and that just made me give up but then meeting him and realizing love is possible. I can’t just give that up. Who knows when next I’ll find it?
Francis
November 15, 11:29You have a point sha. Best of luck. I really do hope it works out for you ??
Ken George
November 14, 09:57Stop wasting your time and call it off. You guys shld remain friends but forget the relationship thing. That thing u think is “love”, u will experience it with many more guys. More importantly i am sure subconciously u know this thing you guys have is already over. U are just having a hard time coming to terms with. Try to move on asap
Tristan
November 15, 10:55This is a different kind of love. It’s just beginning.
Delle
November 14, 22:05I wish Tristan replies the comments at least we would know more of what he wants. We don’t even know if there are restrictions or reservations he feels towards the comments people are giving here.?
quinn
November 15, 07:25I say hang in there.
Tristan
November 15, 10:56Thanks.
Tristan
November 15, 10:58So my question isn’t really about wanting to continue or end this relationship.
I want to continue and I will continue.
So I need help, what do I do?
Already got the visiting thing and we’re working on that already.
What else please?
Mash
November 15, 18:48My dear go with the flow, if it works out fine and if it doesn’t all well and good you’d move on.
Honestly I feel you’re just overthinking everything right now…calm down and see where all this leads!To me you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Sapphire
November 17, 18:34Am so sorry bro, distance love can be a bitch,u ghat to move on…..okay?