A BEAUTIFUL KIND OF TWISTED

Prologue

One said he was straight. The other knew he was gay. Yet, somehow, they were in bed together. They lay together, bodies entwined, wondering what had just happened.

How it had happened.

They had their gazes glued to the canvas above them, neither of them chancing a look at the other, or daring to ask the other what he thought.

All they could think about was how right it had been.

How much it had changed things between them.

***

CHAPTER ONE

On the set of the reality TV series that day was the first day of auditions. Nonso had already assessed most of the competition. He was meticulously competitive that way. And he could already tell that the only competition he’d have on the show – should they be chosen – were his friend Gozie, the resident psychologist Ella, and that fat bitch, Nelo, who’d been lucky enough to have been in a couple of Nollywood films. They producers would pick her for sure. Nonso was also confident that they would pick him too. He would scale through the auditions and make it onto the cast of The Ultimate Superstar, a reality show, whose ratings in its debut season last year had made it become the hottest ticket to Nigerian celebrity since Big Brother Naija. Vincent Eze – with his dashing good looks and winsome smile that won the hearts of many a female and male viewer at home, along with their votes – had gone on to win last year’s season, and since then, had already scored two lead roles in two high profile movies and what looked like it was going to be a steady gig as a show host after he did a memorable stint at the AMAA Awards.

He was a made man. And Nonso was going to achieve even more than him. Of that he was supremely confident. Just as long as these other candidates he’d assessed as a threat wouldn’t get picked. He swept a swift look over Gozie as his friend stood a few yards apart from him, chatting animatedly with that Ella girl, and Nonso felt a pang. It wasn’t like he didn’t wish Gozie well. He simply didn’t wish him well for this show.

This was his show. His! And he hoped some providential force, partial to him, would eliminate them at the audition stage, thus leaving him in the clear to run for the prize with the other deadbeats who’d had the impetus to buy the forms for the show.

On the third and final day of auditions, Tega walked in like a beam of sunshine and swagger that could either relentlessly charm you or fervently irritate you. With his happy-go-lucky demeanour and his never-ending repertoire of anecdotes, he was the consummate lothario of the intending cast, constantly charming the different women he found around him. Before long, he was everyone’s favorite person in the hall. People swarmed around him and laughed while he cracked jokes and delivered punch lines, generally making the 8-hour stay there a passably pleasurable one. Even the judges could not get enough of him. To anybody’s beady observation, it would become quickly obvious that this guy’s game plan was to get by and skate his way to the 50-million-naira prize with more charm than any real substance.

The auditions were soon wrapped and the aspirants were informed of which day the following week they should check their emails for a notification of their participation – or absence of it thereof.

The day came soon enough, and Providence looked on as thousands of lives took a pause as the people living them anticipated the email that would determine the rest of their lives – either on to the televised competition for the glory of stardom or settled back into the mundanity of their ordinary lives. They would know who had qualified to be on the cast of The Ultimate Superstar. Only twenty people would qualify. After the series of tasks and battery of questions they’d all be subjected to, out of all of them in their thousands, only twenty people would get lucky.

Nonso was one of those twenty. He didn’t even think anything of it. He accepted the qualification with the equanimity of one who knew it was as it should be. Gozie made it too. His friend called him to scream his delight into his ear, underscoring the foreboding Nonso felt the previous week during the auditions. If Gozie had made it, what about the others? He hurriedly wrapped up the conversation with Dozie and settled down to his Wi-Fi connected laptop, booting on the reality show website, and navigated to the section where the latest finalists had already been published.

His eyes ran swiftly down the list of names and accompanying photos, his visual pace barely breaking when it encountered his own name at Number 2.

Nelo Nwachukwu was published two names below his at Number 4. Her dumpy face underneath a waterfall of dreadlocks stared back at Nonso with a cocky half smile.

You bitch, you’re not going to take this away from me, he hissed at the picture, before proceeding further down the list.

Gozie’s name was at Number 7, and Ella Ajibade’s name was printed right below his at Number 8. She was a beautiful woman and her gamine features radiated from her photo with that quiet confidence that Nonso had found disconcerting on the day they auditioned together.

Where is the justice in the world! He thought with no small amount of rancour as he snapped shut his laptop.

As he quietly lamented over the fortune of his fellow aspirants, across the campus from him, Tega was already shrugging off the disappointment of missing out on the reality show finalists. He hadn’t exactly felt downcast when the email he got was that of a rejection. His characteristic optimism had quickly kicked in and he’d given an on-to-the-next-thing shrug. He turned his mind back to his classes for the day. At least, there were a few perks to being a final year student in this jungle, he mused as he went over his notes for his first lecture of the day. His major companion had always been himself for most of his life; himself and the girls. Always the girls. He even had one scheduled to come over to his place later that evening. He didn’t need any reality show to validate the star he was sure he was going to be when he got that girl into his bed tonight.

Written by Mitch