A DIFFERENT KIND OF WOMAN

Where do I start from! Yeah, the top is always a good place to start.

So basically, I had been out of a relationship for months and all was well – or so I thought.

I wasn’t overly lonely or horny. A quick fix with my fingers once in a while was enough to keep me going for a while. And I was cool with that, until I hung out with my devilish friend and her girlfriend.

We stayed out late and then decided to get a hotel room, and it was the worst idea ever. My friend and her girlfriend practically didn’t sleep all night; they made sure I cursed the day I decided to be single. These two moaned and mated like rabbits all night, and a girl is not firewood. The next morning, I woke up to the realization that I was horny and needed to get laid. Even a quick fix wouldn’t fix this one.

I started going through my contacts. Typically, I’d dumped everyone back when I wanted to focus on my then girlfriend, but now, man was HOT!! Forget that song, man was really hot.

I lobbied up to the chicks, but predictably, none came through. I got excuses like “I have a headache”, “Who is this?” and “My grandmother died”. And I was just there like WTF!

I was almost in tears when I remembered Don. If you are a lesbian and you live in Nigeria, then Don knows you. She is the Chief Controller, and she’d never let me down.

I called her immediately and she picked on the first ring.

“Paddy of life! Long time!” I hailed.

“Idiot! Who is your paddy?” she countered. “This one you remembered me today, hope I’m safe?”

That was exactly the kind of talk that can weaken somebody. How was I to tell her why I was calling now?

“It’s not like that now,” I cajoled. “You know how Lagos is na.”

She laughed and soon, we were catching up on old times. She even thanked me for calling and all that. And at this point, I was like: My God! This babe will just cut call just like that o.

I immediately decided to take the bull by the horn and just say what was on my mind. I cannot come and die.

“Ehen, Don, I need control,” I said. “I’m so bored out of my mind.”

“What about me! You’re still running from me, abi?”

“Don, be serious na. You’re like one million kilometers away. I wouldn’t make it there before I die from konji.”

She laughed at that and then told me she would send me a number, and that it was the contact of a stud looking for a hook-up too.

I sighed. Stud! I had sworn off studs a while ago, but, well, Man was Hot!

I got the control and it was easy as can be. We talked. Her name was Nate. And in a few minutes, I was in a cab headed to the island, Ajah to be exact. I stopped at Obadore and called Nate to come get me at the estate gate.

When I saw her approaching from afar, I sighed. But as my Edo people would say, “Beggar no dey get choose.” (Not choice o, choose).

If this babe looked a little too manly then, I didn’t notice. If she was flat-chested, I didn’t notice that either. I was in a horniness-induced trance.

She took my bag and led me to her house. We got there and I instantly began to feel at home, sipping on the vodka she offered.

She went to take a bath and it was real awkward to notice that she felt so comfortable walking around bare-chested. Well, not that there was much on her chest to see anyway.

But seriously though! Some girls could be this flat-chested? WTF! I was getting tipsy at this point.

She lit a joint and offered it to me. I don’t smoke but I take a drag. To lighten the mood, she suggested we play Truth or Dare, and I agreed. She was in briefs at this point and I could see a bulge.

Wait! Some girls have really big clits, right? WTF! I was high.

Truth or Dare? Well, I’m a daredevil, and so I picked Dare. She asked me to take more of the joint.

Oshey papi! She wants me high enough to bring out the freak, eh? Bring it on! Demonic Vina loading…

I did as she asked, and then it was my turn. She chose Dare too, and I dared her to stand before me naked for five minutes.

“With pleasure!” she said boldly, and in one swift move, the briefs had come off and I was sitting there, face to face with a dick.

You have to hand it to me; I didn’t flinch, go ape, shout, scream or totally freak out. It could be the SK-mixed-with-all-the-vodka, but I had a smile on my face as I tried to comprehend the shit I was looking at.

She was looking at me – jeez! Why am I still referring to him as she? Wait! Is it a “him” or a “she”, because…

Fuck it! I needed to get a better view. I needed to comprehend this. I was confused as shit and the drugs in my system weren’t helping. What manner of fuckery was this?

“Sorry, Nate,” – I should have known from the get-go that Nate was quite a masculine name for a girl – “can I get a better view?”

I guess at this point, I’d already figured out what this was, but I was too stunned to believe it. It was a dick alright, but this was smaller than the average male’s.

She moved wordlessly to the bed and opened up for me. She spread herself open to me, showing me everything. She put herself out there for me, waiting, gauging my reaction, expecting me to flinch or show revulsion.

But I couldn’t do any of those. I was curious as a cat and I had one hundred and one questions.

“Can I touch?”

“Sure, feel free.”

I ran my hand over the small wrinkly dick and chuckled. I went lower and I could feel and see that she had a labia majora. Oh I see! It was the clitoris that had over-grown and turned into a dick? Wow!

I went lower. Surely she would have a hole if she had a labium. So I went searching with my fingers, but I came up short. I decide to use my eyes but still…

“Don’t tear my skin o,” she said with a chuckle. “There’s no hole.”

Wow! The questions come bubbling up in my head. I didn’t want to say something wrong so I asked for permission.

“Can I ask a question?”

“Shoot,” she said as she lit her kush again.

“Which were you raised as?”

I didn’t need to elaborate. She understood what I was asking.

“My parents registered me as male.”

“Which do you feel like? Or better still, which would you like to be? This is like a blank cheque.”

She laughed heartily at that. “I never thought of that,” she said. “I like the way I am, really. I don’t think I want to change that.”

“Does it stand?” I nodded at the clit/dick.

“Sure, wanna make it?”

Let it be noted that I was high, and to be honest, with all the red flags I noticed, I still came to realize that this was a woman. She sounded like one, acted like one and definitely touched like one.

“Which do you live as right here?” I asked.

“Well, people here automatically addressed me as a male, and I didn’t bother correcting anyone. So I’m male here. In some places, they see me as female and I never correct them either.”

As she talked, I was actually trying to make the clit/dick erect.

What were the chances that I would meet an intersex person in Nigeria?! Wow!

It was definitely interesting to say the least, and I swear, it was a moment of worship for me.

Shout out to all the people who are different! Y’all are a plus for the diversity!

Written by Vina