“Are You Allowed To Masturbate When You’re In A Relationship?” Comedian Michael Henry wants to know.
Michael Henry returned with another skit, which asks a question that really is not so comedic.
Do you think it’s okay to masturbate when you’re in a relationship?
And the friends he asks this question have varying answers; the overwhelming response is however in the negative.
“Masturbation is for single people,” one of Michael’s friends says. “If I’m in a relationship, I want to be the only one to get him off.” To which Michael snarked, “So you’re like a human fleshjack.”
“I’m saying no because masturbation and porn go hand-in-hand,” responds another friend. “I don’t need my man thinking I don’t know all the tricks. I can’t compare with Boomer Banks.”
He continues by adding, “I would think my man was cheating on me if I caught him beating off.”
And interestingly, when this topic was introduced to the social media as a way of getting the opinions of actual people, some had this same thought.
“My partner caught me doing it one time and it was a huge problem,” someone said. “He’d had a really long day and I felt he was tired and all, and decided to help myself out. But he caught me and said he can never be too tired for me. I think he felt like my masturbation was a way of telling him he wasn’t enough for me.”
Someone else agreed that masturbation while in a relationship is “very bad and poor.” He said: “Why masturbate when you can just ask your partner for sex? That’s why you both are in a relationship. If it’s me, if I’m horny and you’re not around, wherever you are in the world, I will come and meet you. If that isn’t possible, I will hold on until you come back.”
Another friend admitted he used to think so too, but had had a change of mind. “I believed sexual feelings are only engendered by the feeling of affection for your partner. Like, I should be the only factor that can put my partner in the mood for sex. My partner masturbating used to strike me as a problem, as though we are not truly bonded by what we share in bed. But I have been able to understand, as the years went by, that sex means different things to different people. Some don’t see sexual gratification as a language of love; sometimes, it’s simply fun or a stress reliever, and has nothing to do with their partner.”
But not everyone thinks masturbation when you’re in a relationship is wrong.
Pamela Adie believes it’s a good thing in fact. “It can spice things up with your partner next to you. my girlfriend loves to watch me touch myself and I love to see her watch. Then she joins and we both enjoy it. So it can be super erotic and a massive turn-on, and it can be a bonding opportunity.”
Another friend agreed. “Two people cannot always be sexually in sync. Modern living has it that sometimes, a person is simply dead tired from work or life’s pressures, and if their partner is raging to go, masturbation is okay. Even if a person isn’t tired, if it’s something they like to do because it gives them a different kind of orgasm that they crave, why the hell not.”
“It’s not wrong to have pleasures with yourself,” some other friend agreed with this point. “Sometimes you just want to do it alone without anybody else. It might cause problems in a new relationship, but as time goes on, you’ll find out that it doesn’t really mean anything. People don’t like it because it makes them feel like their partner is not attracted to them, makes them feel unwanted. That’s where their feeling of its “wrongness” comes from.”
“The fact that you’re dating someone doesn’t mean you should lose autonomy over your own body,” someone else opined. “I’m not cheating, why should this be a problem?”
So over to y’all: what do you think? Is masturbation wrong when you’re in a relationship?
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18 Comments
Milton
May 14, 06:39Just yesterday, I told my boyfriend I masturbated and his reply was “so you cannot wait for us to do it together” I felt this sharp pain from his words like I had cheated. I’ve never been in a relationship before this, so it didn’t occur to me to be a problem. Telling me not to touch myself is like asking me not to eat .
Jimmy
May 14, 07:53Break up with him.
Jimmy
May 14, 07:11There is not a single lover dead or alive that will take away my wanking rights. Me that will even wank next to you
The Preacher
May 14, 07:33I see no wrong in it. Sometimes I just want my partner to rest. Other time, I just wanna enjoy the work of my hands
Zoar
May 14, 07:41It’s not wrong to masturbate in a relationship.
Humans are complicated and sometimes one just wants to be left alone and feel his own body. It doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love his partner.
Though in a newly found relationship that both partners are living together. It’s not recommended to do until both of you have understood yourselves to that point but after some times, it can be done and except your partner has insecurity problems, he shouldn’t have any problems with it if the right Communication between you both has been done about the topic.
Delle
May 14, 07:52I dont think it’s a bad thing. I mean, that will be reaching. But then again, I have come in contact with people who’ve said they only achieve orgasm when they wank themselves. For some, it could be unsettling and I believe, to an extent anyway, that this dependence is caused by regular masturbation such that another cannot bring you to that peak except yourself.
So I see where it can be ummm…a bit problematic. But on the grand scale of things, I don’t think it should be an issue.
Tman
May 14, 07:58Unless you share an apartment with your partner or live nearby, there is a huge chance you guys might not get to meet as regularly. The chances dwindle further when you are both 9-5ers.
So what happens when you’re really horny, want to jizz out, and your Romeo is unavailable? I think masturbation in a large way curtails cheating; if you feel guilty about it, you can always talk to your partner and find a level ground.
Black Dynasty
May 14, 08:32I’ll copy paste the reply from yday.
“Ahn ahn, how is this a question? But of course, 2 of you may not want sex at the same time, work and life schedules, can’t see everyday etc etc.”
If you work full time and have responsibilities etc, you won’t always be in sync…even if you lived together.
The word “allowed” even irks me, because i still have full rights and privileges over my body whilst in a rship.
If I’m not in the mood for sex, it’s not happening and vice versa. I wouldn’t be offended if i had a significant other and saw him wanking, hopefully he wouldn’t as well… otherwise it would be an insecurity we need to address asap.
Pink Panther
May 14, 08:42Lots of people are saying to me that if you live with your partner, why would you need to masturbate. Lol. I found that funny. Living together doesn’t guarantee that both your and your partner’s sexual needs will be in sync. Or that every time you want a release, you’ll want the rigours of actual sex to climax. Or that life’s pressures like work and family and personal issues won’t interfere to make both of you always ready to have sex.
Tried telling this to a friend, and he (who has never lived with a boyfriend, by the way) was positive that should he be in a live-in relationship, the sex must always be there for both he and his bf.
Black Dynasty
May 14, 11:54? it’s usually obvious when folks say certain things, you know they haven’t had tangible experience on the matter being discussed. They’ll grow up soon enough.
Amen @ “Or that every time you want a release, you’ll want the rigours of actual sex to climax. Or that life’s pressures like work and family and personal issues won’t interfere to make both of you always ready to have sex”.
Biodun
May 14, 08:33My Sugar daddy enjoys watching me using a dildo, finger myself or probably use a cucumber , it turns him on and makes it all interesting,
I don’t think masturbation should be a problem in a relationship .
Flexsterous
May 18, 10:46Please avoid using a cucumber or anything without a wide base, to avoid it being swallowed inside you and a very weird conversation with a doctor on how that happened
McDuke
May 14, 08:43Hmmmm…for me it can be excused when both partners are not cohabiting. I had a bf that won’t have sex with me bcos according to him he’s fasting/praying but will wake up to wank in the middle of the night…I felt all sorts of way after I caught him…I see it as an insult esp when your partner is there with you
Zoar
May 14, 09:01There’s some underlying message he’s trying to pass to you.
It’s either he doesn’t find you much interesting sexually or there’s just something that’s wrong somewhere that he’s shying away from telling you.
Trust me on this.
My last relationship, he’s always jealous of me talking to someone else when he had already cheated himself on me during the course of our dating.
He wouldn’t agree to a Threesome with the both of us having sex with an agreed partner of our choice because according to him, he doesn’t like the idea of a threesome because it doesn’t make his dick stand erect ( weird to me but I didn’t think it much then)
He’s a Muslim and he has issues with me watching Porns and masturbating by myself too. These traits I find unreasonable but I just bottled them up because the Love for him was having the best part of me then.
After we broke up, that’s when I realized that he had baggage of insecurities and esteem problem he’s battling with so it gave me a better understanding as to why he behaves the way he does.
Like yours ended aswell these relationships will always end in tears.
Olly
May 14, 11:45I don’t think masturbating while in a relationship is a bad thing. Besides temporarily relieving you of sexual urges, it keeps you from going ahead to f**k the wrong person.
Higwe
May 14, 12:43I masturbate all the time .
Most days I’m in the shower with hot naked men , if I ain’t hitting on them or getting sex from them , I might as well masturbate with their images embedded inside my skull.
There is this particular bouncer with an incredibly large schlong , we nicknamed him— akpa amu ?
He’s perpetually naked ….
To the best of my knowledge he’s heterosexual .
Tell me how else I can cope with being affronted by such image almost every week without relieving myself?
The more I masturbate with their images : the less I want to risk it all ??
A good partner should encourage you to masturbate frequently .
You don’t know the number of kito cases , STDs and molestations masturbating has prevented .
It even helps you not to cheat ( in my case — frequently)
So folks .. MASTURBATE AWAY ! ??
Rexxy
May 21, 02:13Please where do you work, i need some training there
Yeah!
May 15, 22:55I Do not believe in monogamy to begin with so please your body is primarily yours and you are allowed to do whatever the fuck with it