Five Signs That You Are Biphobic
Originally published on queerty.com
When it comes to the LGBTQ acronym, there’s one group that is routinely left out of the discussion: Bisexuals. For whatever reason, many queer people are still hesitant to embrace their bisexual brethren, despite the fact that we’re all kinda in the same boat.
A 2013 study from the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Public Health found that many people, including many gay men and lesbians, still hold negative perceptions of bisexuals.
A June 2016 study from the University of Vanderbilt found that bisexuals reported higher levels of stress and more severe drinking and smoking habits, which researchers believe is a result of their feeling ostracized by society.
And an August 2016 study by Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health interviewed nearly 200 closeted bisexual men about why they remained in the closet. Their answers ranged from fear of being ridiculed to worry that their friends and family members would treat them differently.
Of course, celebrities like Boy George who tweet biphobic “jokes”, and Amber Rose going on the radio to say she wouldn’t be “comfortable” dating a bi guy certainly don’t help matters.
So for your convenience, we’ve put together a helpful list of five indicators that you might be biphobic (and not even know it)…
5. You say things like, “Bisexuals aren’t real.”
In an article published by Psychology Today, Dr. Saul Levine says denial is “a psychological defense we all use at times to reduce our anxiety when it feels particularly disturbing.” Enough people identify as bisexual these days to reasonably suggest bisexuality is, in fact, real. Just like global warming. And evolution. No #alternativefacts here, folks. These are scientific truths.
4. You believe bisexuals are “greedy.”
OK, let’s stop and think about this one for a moment… You’re basically saying that bisexuals are modest in their appetites when they are with one gender, but complete gluttons when they are with the other. So which is the modest gender? And which is the gluttonous one? And does that mean the bisexual person can sleep with as many people belonging to the modest gender as they want and never be considered greedy? Or, if not, what’s the cutoff?
3. You would never in a million years date a bisexual.
If you heard a person casually say “I could never date a black guy” at a party, chances are you’d probably think they were a wee bit racist. The same rule applies when it comes to talking about bisexuals. Writing off an entire group of people based solely on their identity is, by definition, prejudice, regardless of how you choose to justify it.
2. “Bisexuals are sluts who will sleep with anyone!”
Remember that whole DADT argument about straight soldiers being “uncomfortable” with gay soldiers because they didn’t want to feel they were being ogled in the shower room, as if gay men have the uncontrollable urge to sleep with every other man they lay eyes on? That was pretty ridiculous. Equally ridiculous is the assumption that a bisexual person wants to have sex with every person of every gender they see. And, even if that were true, who cares? What’s wrong with being a slut?
1. Bi now, gay later.
Ah, yes. The old argument that a person tentatively comes out as bisexual as a way of testing the waters before making the plunge into the gay pond. Sure, this happens on occasion. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of men and women who identify as bisexual today and who will still identify as bisexual ten years from now.
Even if you’re still feeling suspect, perhaps you could give them the benefit of the doubt?
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20 Comments
Canis VY Majoris
March 27, 08:20LoL….Idk why this is funny to me. But on a more serious tone, let’s start taking our bi bros & sis seriously, and show them more agape love, even though Nigerian Bi guys are something else, mostly undateable. Fact not prejudice LOL.
Mandy
March 27, 08:32Lol. Yea. If you’re looking at Nigerian bisexuals, you won’t ever have faith in the bisexual community.
Then again, maybe it’s because of the gay clime in Nigeria.
Canis VY Majoris
March 27, 08:37Its exactly because of the gay clime in Nigeria. Even so that most IH’s claim bisexuality, wherein the trap lies.
iAmNotAPerv
March 28, 05:33We are not all bad
Delle
March 27, 09:08The funniest thing is had I been the one who made this statement Canis just made, I’d be labeled biphobic.
I went through the numbers 5-1 and I do not share the sentiments.
I’m cleared, Pete. Pete see, you have no reason to want to poison my drink now.
Bryce
March 27, 09:31You and this your crush on Pete.
Shouldn’t you two have things worked out by now?
pete
March 27, 09:38My dear Delle, poisoning your drink has never crossed my mind. If I’m being petty as your friend once accused me, I’ll say you’re guilty of no 3 (receipt dey) but I’m not. I’m on KD to learn and educate. Scoring virtual brownie points ain’t my thing.
Delle
March 27, 10:30You seem to not know the difference between past and present. And if you are going to judge me based on past statements, by all means indulge yourself.
Bryce, no crush here. Trust me.
Bryce
March 27, 12:05Nah, just read you two again and all I’m seeing is something deep and mutual.
Drop the ego/attitude and reach out to the guy,mana.
Same goes for you,Pete..
Life’s to short to go a-dawdling when you two could actually live it,see what it holds for you
Pink Panther
March 27, 12:36?????? They need to fuck something out of their systems, eh Bryce?
Bryce
March 27, 16:59I tells ya
Kevin
March 27, 17:26How’s it going man.
Is there anyway I can get in touch with you via email please
Brian Collins
March 27, 11:06So, I can safely safe say that I’m not biphobic. And yes, I have dated a bisexual man before and while I would never he really had IH, he took the word ‘Discreet’ to a whole new level.
Francis
March 27, 16:09?????????
bain
March 27, 11:272.
???????
Kevin
March 27, 17:25I really love this site . I found it yesterday just when I was about ending my life . And I must say it’s been such an inspiration reading the various posts over the year. Thank you so much for such an amazing online community
Kevin from Ghana 🙂
Pink Panther
March 27, 18:45I’m glad you found Kito Diaries and that it gave you reason to rethink your suicide. Whatever you’re going through, if you want to talk about it, you can always reach out to me via email pantherptb@yahoo.com
Keep staying strong and keep letting Kito Diaries strengthen your purpose to live.
UC TheMisfit
March 27, 18:49Glad you didn’t exit prematurely.
Be strong, Kevin. For you, and for those who need your strength to find theirs.
Pankar
March 28, 08:01You have a family here Kevin. We all go through that depressed place at some point. But we hold on, knowing theres someone else who totally understands us and this too will pass.
Patroclus
June 19, 00:13If my distrust for Nigerian bi men is biphobia, I own it with my chest.