Here’s What Happened When A Straight Guy Accepted A Date With A Gay Man
A straight guy reached out on Reddit with his bewilderment over how he can be heterosexual for 25 years, and yet had accepted a date with a gay man.
Reddit user Wellhowaboutthat13 hoped to get off his chest about a chance meeting with a guy at a train station.
He wrote: ‘I don’t know where exactly to post this. I’m a traditionally heterosexual guy, only dated and slept with women. My porn is almost exclusively lesbian/heterosexual. I haven’t really wondered what it’s like to experiment with a man before, although like everyone, I’ve run it through my mind a couple times to see how it feels.
‘I’ve been in a relationship for the last five years, but we broke up over the summer. I’m trying not to get into anything new, and just enjoy my time in the city as a single guy for the first time as an adult. I’ve slept with a few women since the break up, been on a dozen dates or so. All casual.
‘Anyway, today I’m sitting and waiting for the metro to go home from work and this guy sits down next to me. The train was delayed, and he mentions he hates waiting more than a few minutes because there’s no cell service underground. I tell him my trick is to load up an interesting article on my phone before coming down, and I read that while waiting.
‘He asks me about the article, and we talk about it for a few minutes. We talk about where we’re taking the train to (I’m going home, he’s going to dance practice).
‘The train comes, and I take a seat. He asks if he can take the seat next to me, and I say of course. Now, this guy was fairly effeminate so I figured he was probably chatting me up because he was interested, but he wasn’t being flirty and I love talking to people, so I didn’t want to throw out a “by the way I’m straight.”
‘I ask him about his dancing, he asks me about work. He’s actually pretty easy to talk to, and we’re making each other laugh, so I’m enjoying the conversation. He finally gives me his name, and I give him mine. We shake hands, and he gives me the most flirtatious eye contact I have ever had.
‘I felt it like a jolt of electricity through my body. And in a moment, things were just different. I suddenly found myself thinking “oh, this guy is pretty good looking” and then all of a sudden I realize I’m talking to a very handsome man who seems to be interested in me, and I get nervous. I realize as we’re talking further that I’m…kind of trying to impress him? All of a sudden, I care about his opinion of me, and I’m building up myself up a little bit subtly. It was literally like something had awakened in me all at once.
‘I get in my head, like “what am I doing, this is a guy, and I’m very straight.” At this point, he notices that I’m kind of tearing at the label of my water bottle and asks me with a smile if I’m nervous. I say no, and kind of…shyly laugh? I’m surprising myself, literally thinking “am I a straight guy being coy and flirty with a man I just met on the subway? Why am I doing this? What is happening?”
‘He says, “you’re cute. Would you want to go out with me on Friday?” And I looked up at him, and as excitedly as if a beautiful woman had asked me the same question, I respond with an enthusiastic “sure, I’d love to.” Literally in shock, beside myself.
‘We exchange phone numbers, and have really light and vibrant conversation the whole way to my stop. I get off and he says “text me, I’m looking forward to Friday!”
‘I texted him almost immediately, and we hammer out the details of our date. We’re meeting up for a movie date at my apartment. He says he wants to watch a scary movie, but that he may need me to be strong for him since he startles easily. It’s all turning me on and I’m feeling butterfly-y, I keep replaying the conversation in my head, and smiling the whole walk from the metro stop to my apartment. The whole while thinking what in the hell just happened?!
‘All of this is just so weirdly exciting. I left the house this morning a heterosexual man who never really entertained the idea of being with another man, and returned with a date set up with a handsome man who’s coming over to my apartment to cuddle and a watch a movie!. What?!
‘And I’m weirdly way more excited than the dates I’ve been on with women since my break up. I have no idea if I’ll sleep with him on Friday or what (I don’t know the first thing about having gay sex, honestly, so if anybody here has tips, I’m all ears/eyes), but I’m just excited to see him again.
‘I have no idea what this means for me or my sexuality, but I’m a little nervous and kind of pumped for possibly a new chapter in my life. I’ve been thinking about it, and I would be totally open to dating and falling in love with a man, if there’s a connection like this. I just never knew that I was capable of having one. Men were always just buddies to me, you know?
‘I’m really excited, but also very confused. Why didn’t I ever really have gay thoughts before? Is this how people find out they’re into their own gender?’
In subsequent posts, the Redditor said he admitted to the guy over text about his lack of knowledge in the male-to-male department.
‘He said not to worry about it, and that there’s no pressure. He just wants to see me again, and I feel the same, and we’ll see if there’s something there tonight!’
And after that? Well, there’s no more updates. We’ll keep checking though!
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13 Comments
Colossus
January 03, 07:41It’s jazz, that time they shook hands the gay guy passed on the gay jazz. He has to find a Bible believing church to pray the Jazz away.
Black
January 03, 09:36Serious juju sontin. LoL
Johnny
January 03, 10:48And you think you have made sense now? #throws long hiss
Delle
January 03, 09:58Firstly, I’ll say this: Sexuality is as fluid as can be. This knowledge takes away the shock I should normally have felt as I read through this.
Another thing I picked is the obvious open-mindedness of the writer. He’s always been heterosexual up until that moment in the train and yet all he felt was surprise at his hormones (and emotions). Close-minded, bigoted folks would feel shock, then their repulsion and emotions would clash violently with their rigid mindset, their religious beliefs and turn their repulsion into one hot rolling ball of anger towards the innocent guy who is sparking those feelings.
What I’m simply trying to say is we do not even let ourselves explore. We are too busy hating and being judgemental, being close-minded, being stolid, we don’t allow ourselves see all there is to one’s sexual orientation.
I’m happy about this. The writer seems genuine and this may very well be the beginning of an enviable homosexual relationship ??
Rehoboth
January 03, 10:33I’ll say I’m genuinely surprised at this comment.
1. Sexuality is fluid
2. Open-mindedness makes us appreciate diversity.
3. “We are too busy hating and being judgemental, being close-minded, being stolid, we don’t allow ourselves see all there is to one’s sexual orientation”.
Let the new year begin
Delle
January 03, 12:40You’re surprised at my comment, why?
Rehoboth
January 03, 14:54I’m not critiquing but you don’t seem to see some spectrum of sexuality e.g bisexuality as fluid and dare I say judge their actions a lot.
Note : I don’t know you. I’m merely saying from your comments I see here
Bibi
January 03, 21:11Dele it seems u have changed your ways this 2018
Delle
January 03, 23:00@Rehoboth…I believe in learning, unlearning and relearning ?
@Bibi…sorry, but what were my old ways?
Dunder
January 04, 02:02Interesting… sexuality is a spectrum and we human beings, no matter where the attention is coming from, we like to be appreciated- reacting in violence is what is beaten and preached into us. We’d be surprised at the number of people we can connect with in a deep way who are not our normal spec as we say. I like the honest dialogue that this guy had in his head and on social media about his experience. I think it shows the danger of putting others in a box or worse still opting to remain in that box ourselves. Whatever happens between these two men, they have handled the situation so far with self respect and respect for the other person. That’s the way to go.
Looking into myself, this write-up made me feel a bit guilty. There have been times in my life when I acted rigid and shut tight the bullet proof doors of my closet costing me friendships and perhaps relationships with people in the community or those who would not judge because I was still in deep and fearful denial of my truth.
Even as members of this community, we should be challenged to affirm and respect the personhood of others, even those whose story, experience or harmless leanings we don’t understand. When we don’t get how someone can want to transition to another gender or love people of both genders or not be interested in showing love through getting naked, we should show respect even if we have not come into a fuller understanding of who they are.
I wish both men the best. Thanks for stories like this.
quinn
January 04, 14:34This is just the cutest thing ever. Even if it doesn’t go beyond a first date, I go still belle full. This is exactly how I felt few days ago when I met the guy I’m sort of seeing now, it’s all so very exciting!!!
quinn
January 04, 14:36Now where are the gay guys that can still date women. Raise your hand lemme count ?
Thirst
January 05, 10:15?♂️