WARNING! Someone Is Revealing All The Ways The Unsuspecting Public Will Know A Gay Guy When They See One
So reportedly, blogger NaijaSingleGirl made the revelation, and now, other sites are touting these pearls of wisdom as surefire ways to know a gay guy when you see one. According to her, any guy guilty of at least five of the following is definitely gay. Y’all with strong gaydar, do tell us, is she on-point?
And the signs are:
1) He owns an umbrella
2) He showers with hot water
3) He covers with a duvet when sleeping alone
4) His bathing soap costs more than N150
5) He wears a pouch on his phone.
6) He applies Vaseline/lip gloss on lips during Harmattan
7) He applies white powder on his armpits
8) He changes his BBM dp more than thrice a month
9) He owns a selfie stick
10) He drinks Fanta
11) He wears pants rather than boxers
12) He uses a photo/selfie of him as his phone or laptop wallpaper
13) He sips drinks with straw
14) He chews gum for more than 10 minutes
15) He uses Snapchat filters
16) He runs when crossing the road
17) He applies body cream
18) He wears a nose ring
19) He places one leg on a stool/bed when applying body cream
20) He takes selfies with other guys
21) He has Camera360 app on his phone
22) He ties his sponge on his waist after bathing
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FUCK LIFE. BE HAPPY
Life is serious, never take her seriously. You’ve got to learn how to laugh, how to be happy. You’ve got to have a support system to help you navigate her
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“If you’re silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” – Zora Neale Hurston February 16, 2017, I was privileged to be at a symposium organised
A LETTER TO THE LGBT YOUTH
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52 Comments
Griffin
August 31, 06:50How lame!!!!!
She’s so dumb.
Mandy
August 31, 07:14Dumb doesn’t even begin to qualify this, especially since she’d probably feel she’s done her readers a huge favour.
Francis
August 31, 06:52???????????? Loves it
Mandy
August 31, 07:06I know this Naijasinglegirl to be a humour blogger. So I simply have to believe this was intended as a joke. It’d be ridiculous otherwise. Like seriously, he showers with hot water? He covers with duvet? He drinks Fanta? He applies body cream?
If anything, this is an insult to/degradation of str8 guys.
Francis
August 31, 07:07Straight guys are the quintessential cave men na ????
Mandy
August 31, 07:13I swear! If you minus all these from the life of a man and say what’s left is the str8 man, wetin con remain? the straight man is kuku pre-civilisation. rubbish!
Dubem
August 31, 07:16This blogger just fell victim to stereotypes. most of what’s here qualifies a metrosexual man, not necessarily a gay man.
miztadiol
August 31, 07:25The blogger is a s Dumb, as her post.. For anyone to even take her serious, sef is amazing. All those overly blonde girls that just opened a blog for the sake of it. She should chill and do something meaningful with her. Kikikik! She scored 0/100.
Pink Panther
August 31, 07:38Someone took her seriously enough to duplicate the post on another website, greennews dot ng. Complete with the splashy headline: How to spot a gay Nigerian. Lol
Bloom
August 31, 07:30NSG is a humour blogger na, it’s probably a joke. She’s actually funny.
I only checked three of the boxes. Am I not gay enough? í ½í¸¢í ½í¸¢í ½í¸¢
Pink Panther
August 31, 07:34Lol. Apparently not. *arranging my duvet securely around me*
OMG!!! It's HYPO
August 31, 07:48Jesu Oluwa oh…….Almost every Nigerian guy is guilty of @ least 5. She’s so so OFF point!!!
emperor
August 31, 08:03NSG isn’t the one to be blamed here, its all this mumu copy and paste blogger. This is what she does, she’s a humour blogger. She almost made me start doubting my being gay.
Osas
August 31, 08:31I stay in benin and we all know how serious the raining season is there, and you come here and blad nonsense about men having umbrella, so all men who own an umbrella should now be tagged gay! But this is the lamest article I read recently
INDIGENE
August 31, 08:55I goht it on WhatsApp yesterday and I told was so happy because seen every guy is guilty of 5 at least; I won’t be wrong to ascertain that all Nigerian guys are gay
INDIGENE
August 31, 08:56Gone are the days when the term ‘gay’ was used to connote happiness. Nowadays, only one definition comes to our mind when the word gay is mentioned.
Statistics say 1 in every 10 men are gay. What if I told you that male gossip partner of yours in the office is gay? That your ever smiling neighbour is gay. That banker you are crushing on is gay. Your fiance of 9 years is gay?
In fact, any guy guilty of 5 of these signs is definitely gay.
1 He owns an umbrella
2 He showers with hot water
3 He covers with a duvet when sleeping alone
4 His bathing soap cost more than N150
5 He wears a pouch on his phone.
6 He applies vaseline/lip gloss on lips during harmattan
7 He applies white powder on his armpits
8 He changes his BBM dp more than thrice a month.
9 He owns a selfie stick
10 He drinks fanta
11 He wears pants rather than boxers
12 He uses a photo/selfie of him as his phone or laptop wallpaper
13 He sips drinks with straw
14 He chews a gum for more than 10 minutes
15 He uses snapchat filters
16 He runs when crossing the road
17 He applies body cream
18 He wears a nose ring
19 He places one leg on a stool/bed when applying body cream
20 He takes a selfie with another guy
21 He has Camera360 app on his phone
22 He ties sponge on his waist after bathing
.
#This is how she sent it to me..
Kenny
August 31, 09:03It was just for laughs.
Kerr
August 31, 09:07This is funny tho….. The pouch thing is to protect the phone, doesn’t mean one is gay….
I was expecting her to say an average gay man dresses better than your average straight guy, but then this is just humor .
The tying sponge around the waist ??????
Pink Panther
August 31, 09:21????? Who even does that?
Delle
August 31, 10:47ME biko! It’s bathroom sexy!
ambivalentone
August 31, 12:05Ahhhh!!!! Now I gerrit. You want to use waist beads but have to settle for tying the sponge round ur waist just cos you can’t. LMAOOO
Delle
August 31, 14:18Lol Ambi. Waka there
Francis
August 31, 11:49I used to *covers face*
Canis VY Majoris
August 31, 09:10LMAO! He owns an Umbrella. Definitely a Mary Poppins.
There’s nothing left for the Straight Man to do, besides breathe. This is gay domination.
Pink Panther
August 31, 09:20???????????? Aswear! See? The gay agenda is a very real thing after all.
ambivalentone
August 31, 10:01Mary Poppins was such a strict and an unsmiling governess, even as a child I wondered if she was a woman. All that holiday scene with Hubert didn’t change my thots one bit.
ambivalentone
August 31, 09:44I know NSG is a humor blogger, but I found this one not funny at all. Perhaps its cos it pokes fun at the idea of who a gay person is which I am.
lluvmua
August 31, 09:56so I should walk jejely when crossing the road ??? even when heavy luxurious vehicles are coming? and die simply because I don’t wanna come off as gay right?????? *asking for Francis *
posh666
August 31, 09:56She forgot to add men who tie wrapper upto their chest when going to bath. In my hostel back in Uni there was this guy who did that and he was unapologetic about it,i will wait to watch him go take his bath and laugh my ass off!off! Oh and those who rub powder.
Delle
August 31, 10:46Oh so you concur with the rubbing powder thing, huh? Okay o
lluvmua
August 31, 09:58*looks around* OK seeing that I do 15 out of everything there, does that make me gay or gayer ????? lmaoooo dumb post….
Pink Panther
August 31, 10:18What and what are those fifteen things biko? 😀 Tying your sponge around your waist one of them?
Dashawn
August 31, 10:14Wait number 7 tho. White powder?? What happened to normal deodorant sprays or roll-ons?
Mitch
August 31, 10:19The idiocy in this one trumps that of Donald Trump. Abeg I can’t deal this early morning.
Christopher
August 31, 10:38This is completely out of it, and to think it’s on a blog, the height. Is like saying girls that wear jeans, suits, drink coke, ball football and all are lesbians. What a nonsense!!!
Delle
August 31, 10:44I’m like this is so stupid, now I know why that word is in existence.
How then do you know someone isn’t gay? Cold should finish a man because he doesn’t wanna use a duvet, abi? Straight people have an invisible shield to protect them from the rains?
What won’t I read on social media?
#IQdrained
pete
August 31, 11:47It’s funny watching KDians get into a twist over a post that’s riddled with sterotypes when we are guilty of same too. It’s a fun post,laugh. Life ain’t that serious.
Lorde
August 31, 12:24What sort of fuckery is this? So I should bounce when crossing road
posh666
August 31, 12:57Yes niggah!dont be a pussy real men don’t fear anything so you gotta bounce when crossing that road
Delle
August 31, 14:21I’m very sure a fast-moving trailer would have a swell time BOUNCING on your bones
posh666
August 31, 14:41Madam Delle calm down oh !This one you are busy chasing and trolling my comments this afternoon you know i’m just joking right?
Just like I believe the lady in question is…I honestly just feel it’s something to just read and laff over.
So for the fact you are effeminate and have always had to be on the defensive all your life like a lot of us doesn’t mean you have to get all hot and bothered when you come across a comment that seem to be directed to your kind of persona,just because after reading most of what she wrote you fit into her checklist just like a lot of other neat metrosexual straight dudes out there.
So chill and go get urself a cold bottle of fanta.She meant no harm and i’m sure she doesn’t want her own male siblings to have chapped lips during harmattan all in a bid to be called straight,or be all smelly cos real mean don’t need deodorant.or be tagged gay just for taking a bottle of Fanta when they feel like it or simply having fun using the snap chat filters.
Neither does she want them to be bouncing on a highway instead of running to avoid being knocked down by a car.
Trust me she’s not that shallow or ignorant so stop making urself look stupid cos of ur insecurities.
Delle
September 01, 08:17How u didn’t get that I was equally joking beats me. Smh
Pink Panther
August 31, 17:22??????????Oh Posh. Of course o. Real men don’t run across the road. They bounce.
Somebody
August 31, 12:53Lol… You guys should chill. I’m an avid NSG blog reader and I know that she is a humor blogger and a good one at that. What she does is humor mixed with satire. There was even one of her post titled “How to cheat on your wife” (or something like that). At first glance it’ll seemed really downgrading to women everywhere but read till the end and between the lines, you’ll see how much satire was in it. I get why people are pissed but at least know the full story na #DangersOfASingleStory we are all guilty of this one way or another. Biko don’t be pissed at the satirical humor blogger but at the average Nigerian who will actually believe this and the people who plagiarized her work.
emperor
August 31, 19:31I tire oo like seriously! NSG once wrote #how to date banky W and #21 things to do if you want to meet a celebrity. The gal is damn good and funny. Why people are dragging this matter that reeks of sarcasm and humour is what I probably don’t get. We are guilty of at least 10 biko
Ivory Child
August 31, 13:04I’d like to think this is a joke because if it isn’t then this is just plain ridiculous.
peaches
August 31, 16:28I saw this stupid post and I was like. Maybe this individual is stark raving mad. All that balderdash does any make sense?
Fresh
August 31, 21:55She’s so stupid and desperate for attention.
pankar
September 01, 22:22Why are the brothers really angry? We’d loove t know.
Its funny, and mostly true yet not counting. Nor a given
Pearl
September 02, 07:56Starting from the first, I see rubbish… I bathe with hot water because of health issues, I put a leg on a chair not even a stool to avoid bending my waist, I use body cream, I cover with a duvet… This girl is extremely dumb walahi… Instead of drinking Fanta, I take Pepsi, the big bottle gaan… I wear briefs because I have a very big one and I get too sensitive wearing boxers…. So, this girl can go fuck herself in hell….
•*•sugarrrr*•*
September 03, 00:10Bwahahahahahahahahaha Funke@jenifa’a diary is smarter than that crazy bitch !!! Laffffffz
Ekotoned
September 03, 09:00i’m Guilty of rubbing cream, she got me… this is super dumb.