IBK’s JOURNAL (Entry 12)

October 28

“It’s amazing what people can get used to. You just have to start slow.”

Truer words have never been said. And this can be applied in a myriad of situations. For example, you see a big dick and you think, ‘Nah, I can’t take that.’ But honey, you can. Just start slow and work your way up – tongue, one finger, two fingers, three, four, five, a fist, and then maybe an arm, if you really love to get kinky. So my dear brothers and sisters, that big dick you’ve been running from, you can do it! Just start slow!

On a slightly more serious note, because I won’t be IBK unless I manage to philosophize everything, the same can be said about the state of the human mind. It’s the ‘dick in the door’ theory. You see females get tired of hearing guys brag about their penis size or sexual prowess, so it’s a relief when a man is confident about his own average-sized penis or something like that… Can’t remember… That was from a movie.

Wait – word is just reaching me that it’s actually ‘foot in the door’, the ‘foot in the door’ theory.

Well that doesn’t make sense… Shrug.

Whichever one, know that small beginnings can be useful, and with time, you’ll be surprised what people will get used to whether it’s a big dick or your fabulousness.

Anyhoo, I’ve always had this sneaking dissatisfaction about the nature vs. nurture argument when it comes to sexuality, the whole “It’s not my choice” standpoint. It is nice and all, but at the same time, it feels like I’m making excuses for doing something “wrong”.

But I never gave the argument much thought.

Someone finally pointed out a much better way to look at it. That whether or not it’s a choice shouldn’t determine how we feel about being gay. Why should what someone chose or did not choose affect you so?

And this brings me back to some niggling worry I had about young ones being gay or bi because it looks like the cool thing to be. It really shouldn’t matter. Interesting how when the human mind finds the missing part to a puzzle, it all fits.

*

My things got stolen a few days ago – by a friend. I don’t know who the friend is but I basically met my door unlocked and upon some investigation, I found out one of my spare keys had been replaced. It’s heartbreaking stuff really. May his testicle never bring forth anything that will give him joy and may his hands always be a cause for sorrow in his life. May his mother spit on and curse the day he was born and may his feet never lead him to places that will move him forward, and may every good thing in his life become a stumbling block.

In the unlikely case that it’s a female, I wish her the same.

Speaking of females who are friends, me and my fag-hag broke up. She had this notion that because she doesn’t like certain females in my class, I couldn’t/shouldn’t be friends with them. She also believed I tattle to them her affairs and that they are just dying to know everything there is to know about her.

She has turned against me and rained abuses on me in the past, and when it happened, I took it and told myself she doesn’t mean it, and I generally try to see the best in her. But then I got tired of doing that; so the next time she turned on me, I egged her on instead of trying to diffuse the situation. She rained insults on me, talking about how she’s better that me. (Yes! She said that. Childish much?)

Normally, I’d feel awful that we are fighting, but right now, I feel much lighter. And even if for some weird reason we start speaking to each other again, I’m going to set MAJOR boundaries; that is, if we are even close enough for boundaries to be set.

I used to worry she might blab about my sexuality to people. Shrug. There’s no point worrying about that. I’d like to see the mofacka that actually asks me questions.

*

I was going through my Facebook one time and there was some post about people talking about asexuals, and a classmate of mine who had been looking with me commented that, “So are they saying it’s good to be asexual?”

I abruptly turned to her and snapped my fingers and told her that if she thinks I’d agree with her, then she’s got the wrong bitch, bitch!

Actually, I didn’t do that. But I did abruptly turn to her and tell her she picked the wrong person to say that to. Then I asked her why she thinks asexuality is a bad thing, and she was all like it’s just weird and shii. And I was like oh so because it’s weird, it makes it wrong? Nawa o! Someone is having sex, you spirikoko people will complain. Now someone has no inclination to have sex, and it’s still wrong because you think it’s weird? She was flustered and I was glad she was.

And then with a wry smile, she said, “So does that mean you support homosexuality?”

I told her I have no problem with gay people and why should I or anyone have a problem with what two people are doing that doesn’t affect me?

And she goes, “The bible!”

And I was like the bible also said shell fish and mixed clothing are abominations, but I don’t see you complaining. You hold an important position in church but the bible said women shouldn’t speak in church. Er, hello?

And she was like well, grace covers that.

And I was like so grace doesn’t cover homosexuals?

And she just looked at me disbelievingly.

In hindsight, she’s just one of those people who don’t think deeply about things and just accepts that because something or someone said this, you should not question it.

My brothers are like that too. In my nuclear family’s whatsapp group, I mentioned that I question the bible. My younger brother flew off the handle, saying how the bible requires blind faith from a Christian. I was appalled to hear that. Maybe the bible does require blind faith, but you shouldn’t be foolish enough to actually go ahead with that. That’s dangerous. He once again brought out his “I don’t judge” card and I wanted to slam his hypocrisy down, but after a full-fledged attack from them both when I was expecting a civil conversation on the subject matter, I decided to fashi. They can wallow in their sense of piety or whatever. Fucking scunners!

*

Finally, I have reason to believe that Angelica was actually murdered. Oh yes! Murder! Because a new mouse has taken residence! I’ve set sticky trap so I can capture him or her for interrogation concerning the untimely yet suspicious demise of Angelica. Watch this space for more info regarding this case… Till next time

Written by IBK