JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 14)
September 12
The first paper was good. Not really a surprise. I did study for the tests on each lecturer’s subject. I’m glad. However I have to face gross anatomy now, and not just your ordinary gross anatomy… This one is comparative gross anatomy, where I distinguish between the liver of a horse and that of a pig. I need to know the colour and number of lobules and other stuff I’d rather not bore you with. I keep staring at my notes and I feel so hopeless about it, hopeless enough to take a nap. Lol. I won’t take a nap because that would be foolishness. It’s my fault I’m not really prepared for the exam so I just have to suck it up and do whatever it is I can do, and pray to the high heavens that some weird miracle will happen. This is the point where I say I will never be unserious again, but er…we all know that’s never gon happen. Let me go and cram some notes.
During a study break on Tuesday, I remembered the horror with which most of y’all took my frequent tugging of my meat. So I decided to check out if there was something I should be worried about. Quite frankly, I couldn’t come up with anything. The problem lies when it interferes with your work and your performance in bed, and with a recent encounter, my performance in bed was quite good… and I had wanked the day before.
Wanking is a stress reliever – I know this – albeit a temporary one. Sometimes I even get a headache and I jerk off and it’s gone. Now about wanking, let’s say, three times a day, if I can do it, then why the heck not. Besides, it’s when I’m bored as hell that I tend to indulge… or when I see something particularly racy.
Let’s not kid ourselves. We are guys. We tug at ourselves more often than some of us care to admit (I know some of you don’t. I reserve my comments). I quite frankly feel no shame that I jerk off often. When I had steady lovers that kept me company, I didn’t need to jerk off. Now that it’s just me…Well… *stares at hand*
I’d like to go on and on about the benefits of self pleasuring, such as keeping your prostate healthy, but I don’t want to sound more psycho than I already do. So to all my fellas out there who love to beat their meat, go ahead! Enjoy it! Just don’t let it get in the way of actual life.
Just as I suspected, my Tuesday paper was bullshit. But there was no time to worry about it. I had another paper the next day.
The post on KD about the opinions of sixteen anti-gay people on homosexuality raised a lot of good points. But I still see a lot of unacceptability going in between my brothers and sisters. Some peeps be saying how they dislike the girly guys because they are so flamboyant and stuff. I heave a long sigh. Whatever happened to the freedom to be diverse and be who we are? Yes we get it, you’re butch and no one would suspect you’re gay and all. But just as you are butch, some of us are extremely flaming. And just as those people exist, there are those in between.
And why hate on our ‘sisters’? I feel it’s because they draw attention to themselves and stuff, and most of us just want to be on the low. Look, if you want gay people to be seen as solemn, hard core and whatever, go and organise your own gay pride full of solemn, hard core men in dull coloured tank tops and boring shoes.
And it’s these same flamboyant people who are taking the brunt of the homophobia. It’s because they exist that people even know gay people exist. The gay football player isn’t bullied much in high school; it’s the effeminate one with the weird outfits. Abegi! These sisters have enough on their plate. No need to add your own to it. And to be honest, it is one of the minor forms of internalised homophobia, if you really dislike girly people. I mean there are girly people who are so sweet and compassionate, like Tay my bestie (who I love very much, and then, there are the butch guys who are soooooo full of drama it makes Khaleesi look tame. Just because a guy likes the colour pink or looks like a rainbow vomited on him, doesn’t make that a good enough reason to condemn him. If they were just plain irritating from your getting to know them, then it’s a different matter. But judging them right on… well we know how much we hate to be judged without people knowing us first, so I rest my case.
I’m like my mother in so many ways. Insecure, sometimes talk too much, I worry about things beyond my control and I do stuff on impulse, especially buying rather unimportant things. But I’m also strong like her; sure she cries, but it’s not a sign of weakness. Tears in my opinion are sometimes just the sweat that comes with holding the emotional strain in and persevering.
But I am stubborn like my dad. I do things my way as often as I can and dislike when people tell me what to do or how to live my life especially when I did not ask for your input.
My mum told me a story about how my dad used to have these parties in his bachelor pad and then people would advise him to stop and shii. He put up a small notice on a sheet of paper in the living room saying, “Please note that all unsolicited advice will be duly ignored.” I laughed so hard when she told me the story, because that was basically how I was beginning to live my life.
Ever since she found out about my being gay she has been seeing more of my father in me and less of my compassionate self who would just sit in the kitchen with her and do the dishes while the dudes are watching football, or call to check up on her. I think she thinks I’m just refusing to change, that I’m just being stubborn. She has no idea how terrible it was to see her cry about the issue. Seeing your mum cry because of you gives you one of the most horrible feelings ever. She has had her moments when she annoyed the fuck out of me though, and it was partly due to her ignorance. The most irritating part was when she asked me to start doing a sport and stop amusing her by walking in her high heels (or attempting to walk in them. I dunno how ladies do that shii). I wanted to yell that learning to kick a ball around isn’t going to make me straight. But still things are much better than three years ago so.
It’s about 12:15am on Friday, and I just can’t wait for the weekend to commence fully. Sure I still have my books to read because I have another barrage of exams next week, including orals, but at least a couple of days when I’m not writing an exam is more than welcome. The lecturers in my department hate our class, and with good reason too. We are unruly and make lots of noise and are general troublemakers who try to get away with trouble making (not me though. I’m appalled by their behaviour. Lol). I think that’s why they fixed exams everyday for three weeks. However with each passing exam, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
When all this is over, I am going to sleep for three days straight, if I can.
These videos are for the Disney lovers. They are frigging funny, especially the one with Ariel and Co. And the guy is awesomely talented and cute… good white bf material for me. Hmmm…
After Ever After – DISNEY Parody:
After Ever After 2 – DISNEY PARODY:
Written by James
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28 Comments
Obatala
September 14, 06:00James Wanker. The name has a nice ring to it doesn’t it ? lol.but seriously James 3 times a day? how do u manage to get stuff done?
JustJames
September 14, 07:20If it happens I probably had nuffin to do that day.. or I was home all day and the Internet was good. Lol.
lluvmua
September 14, 06:07#nice write up james *hugs*
JustJames
September 14, 13:46*hugs back.. attempts a sloppy kiss*
helen lawson
September 14, 06:22Yawning and farting.
JustJames
September 14, 13:47Careful now.. you don’t want to accidentally shit in your pants.
SavingGrace
September 14, 06:57Well said james… But you must understand that its not about not liking girly people,its about advising girly people to be careful for their own safety. The Nigeria we see now, have made effete guys susceptible more often than not to violent molestations. Some of us haven’t really seen where you get into trouble because you try to be accommodating to your effette gay friends. Believe me,people now know even old ladies and men,know that any man who acts effete has earned himself a suspicion of homosexual involvement. As much as I would like to be friends with tb people(even though they are ful of dramas) I try to be selective of my friends and people I identify with. Some are also in the habit of going after straight guys, they just want to convert them. I don’t know where they gt their skills from,whereas they get intO trouble with the straight folks.pls desist. We still have loads of tb guys who are searching.
chestnut
September 14, 07:21Nice entry james. About wanking,it’s not something to be ashamed of, just something to be cautious about, because of d aforementioned interference with sexual performance( if u go overbaord with it). But if it doesn’t affect u that way, then u’re totally allowed to wank to ur heart’s delight! It’s just like eating lots of ice-cream and cake; it’s nothing to be ashamed of,but a constant diet of that might lead to diabetes for some ppl, while others can get away with it until they see their grand kids and great grand kids.
Regarding d post abt d “16 ppl’s opinions”, I really am tired of being accussed of “internalising homophobia”(I still don’t even really know what that phrase means!). I never tried to imply that guys who dress girly are bad,horrible human beings; I just don’t like d choice of clothes. It’s one thing to be naturally effeminate; I don’t have a problem with ppl like that at all,becos it’s more or less beyond ur control but Choosing what u wear is ENTIRELY within ur control! I’m sorry if d gay football jock is treated with more respect than d guy who wears bedazzled shorts and blouses, but if the lack of respect is painful to them,they know what to do: change ur wardrobe! U might say their just being themselves,but c’mon, clothes are not like food; not wearing “weird” outfits will NOT kill u! Just me stating my opinion though; u’ll probably never be able to change my mind on d subject, and I’ll never be able to change yours.but that’s ok, everybody will never agree on every subject. Like I mentioned b4, just because we want our own diversity to be accepted,doesn’t mean we will accept every other form of diversity and “freedom of true-self” (I’m sure u can think of one or two kinds of “diversity” that u find totally un-cool)
pinkpanthertb
September 14, 07:25I’m actually right there with you, Chestnut. That was what I was trying to tell Dennis that day on that post. I have my reservations about guys who dress scandalously in a bid to make a statement about their sexuality. That doesn’t make me internally homophobic. It doesn’t make me any less appreciative of the human beings they are. It simply makes me too reserved for such rich tastes in clothing. lol
chestnut
September 14, 07:49*phewww*…I was afraid I was goin to get dragged again,lol.
JustJames
September 14, 08:05I see where you and chestnut are coming from. And sure you’re allowed to have your reservations. But my thoughts were for those who go “stay away from them.. they are pure evil” or people that use just that one thing to define them as human beings and people who don’t want to live and let live. People who think they are abnormal.
I don’t think they give gay guys a bad name as some people said on that post. The only reason it appears so is because of how homophobic nigerians are. And if we as gay people continue to look at them as abnormal… I don’t think much progress can be made.
You can have your reservations.. there’s even a degree of flamboyance that would make me shift uncomfortably in my seat (like if you change your name to queen shaquesha.).. but don’t treat them like they are the epitome of what is wrong with our gay community.
Dennis Macauley
September 14, 10:18Inyanga dey sleep, wahala wan wake am!
Please allow me to enjoy my merlot in peace!
#YouDontWantUsToGoDownThatRoadAgain
Absalom
September 14, 11:46Dennis, can I stroke your ear while we sip that merlot together?
Dennis Macauley
September 14, 12:00Absalom You are more than welcome my darling!
It’s strawberry merlot, so sweet you don’t notice you are getting drunk LOL
NB: Please come wearing a bullet proof vest
#YouKnowWhy
gad
September 14, 12:47I totally agree with ur submissions. I have dated a guy who was so girlish that my family usually tell him that to his face,playfully. D problem is in d way they carry themselves.i must say here that there are manly guys who dress and act like girls.its actually their biz but…
#TeamKizito
September 14, 08:06Hmmm. How did your mum get to know about your sexuality, James?
JustJames
September 14, 08:30http://kitodiaries.wordpress.com/2014/06/08/james-journal-entry-3/
I didn’t elaborate on it much. I don’t think I ever intend to. But you could check it out.
Legalkoboko
September 14, 10:27” I wanted to yell that learning to
kick a ball around isn’t going to make me
straight.”
hahahaha!!
You just made me laugh, James.
iamcoy
September 14, 11:35Good entry Jamie. .your segment isn’t my favorite but as a doctor I relate alot to your write ups. And my pal thinks u are the best thing that happened to KD though. Kudos!
JustJames
September 14, 13:45Tell your friend I’m flattered he thinks so. And I hope sooner or later I get to turn another skeptic to a fan soon.. 🙂
X
Dennis Macauley
September 14, 11:57I previously did not like this column, but it’s seems to be getting better with each entry!
Now I am actually liking it, you turned a skeptic into a fan!
Kudos
GB_SHOW!
September 14, 12:33True!!! Girly guys didn’t ask to b like dat, I’m sure no one will intentionally want to get bullied or mocked…we all are trying to b d best we can be in our diversity…moderation is d word tho’…u don’t av to like everyone but u’ve got to respect dem…#LiveAndLetLive!
king
September 14, 13:05But seriously James.. wanking as a medicine for headache???? First times always a revelation isn’t it!!! Never heard of this before ooo….But if you say you’ve found out its ok oh pls go right ahead but I hope this wanking thingy would evolve to more involvement with other pipo…at least it’s more enjoying don’t u think?
Dennis Macauley
September 14, 13:57Orgasms do relieve headaches!
In my experience Orgasms relieve headaches, tight chests, difficult breathing and even some body pains!
So I will agree with him.
#NotDoctorRecommended
anonymous
September 14, 16:41And I still like James 😐
Dominic
September 14, 18:15James….living his life like it’s golden. Omolomo enjoy jare. About the the extremely girlie brothers, I must say for now the only time I love to watch them is on comedy series. I am not attracted to them sexually but won’t mind them being my friend, but not in Nigeria. They draw too much attention and make people ask questions or confirm their doubts. I can’t shout biko. *back to the closet*
Obatala
September 14, 22:48about the girly guys, a friend came to see me and he was wearing the shortest bumshorts. jeez. my first instinct was to run from the park pretending I hadn’t seen him, but I summed up enough courage and took him home without giving him the slightest hint that I was uncomfortable. turned a lot of heads in my street though. The next day as we were about taking a stroll, he pulled out another skin tight bum short from his armory and was about to don it when I told him that he would look more sexy on a trouser. I was pleasantly surprised when he agreed with me and put on a trouser instead.. my point is that if you think you will be uncomfortable around an effeminate or overly loud gay guy , try as much as possible to communicate without hurting his feelings.
Lothario
September 15, 06:29James, another lovely entry.
Now, the ‘sugar boys’ can be a bit too much to handle, but if you’re patient, and like Obatala said communicate without hurting their feelings, you could have a gem waiting for you at the end of the day.
Mr. Wankster, don’t forget to reserve some juice for the main action….Lol!