KD’s Fashion Police: The 2017 Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards

Hello boys and girls, the AMVCAs was held just last weekend and your boy has been busy reviewing photos from the event, trying to see what I missed from watching the show.  So I have compiled the SLAY, NO WAY and the JUST PASS.

Feel free to disagree with me please, and yes, sound off in the comments section.

THE SLAY

ADESUWA ETOMIEveryone’s favorite girl from the smash hit The Wedding Party rocked a look that was copied from – sorry, inspired by something Kerry Washington wore a while back. And it suits her.

There is something demure about Adesuwa that makes me think of flowers and gardens, and I think this dress sat well on her frame. I wasn’t particularly wowed by the look, as I would have expected more from her, seeing as she is trending at the moment, fresh off the set of one of the most successful Nigerian movies, but all round, not a bad look.

NANA AKUA-ADDOThis girl pulled off one of the hardest looks of the night, and believe me, it is no easy feat. This dress could easily swallow and wear the person wearing it, but somehow she owned that look. I don’t know who she is to be honest, but I will be on the lookout for her going forward; the detailing is fantastic and just sort of fades out. And notice how she kept her hair simple and skipped a neck piece. Even the chandelier earrings worked. Hands down one of the best looks of the night. (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

SOMKELE IDHALAMAThis is perfection! My goodness, that body — hot, hot, hot! This is a very well structured and detailed dress, and baby geh is rocking it like no man’s business. Everything is on fleek; like this dress struts the thin line between slutty and classy, but damn, she looks classy. (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

BOLANLE OLUKANNIVelvet remains one of the hardest looks to pull off and how Bolanle manages to do it beats my imagination. Everything is on fleek. And would you look at her neck piece! (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

DORCAS SHOLA FAPSONI don’t know who she is, but damn!!! (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

YVONNE EKWEREShe looks like the girl your mother warned your daddy about and the same one who eventually took her place lol. I’m loving the all-black everything. This girl is on fire.

MO ABUDUThis right here is a woman confident in her body and knows how to dress age appropriately. See how fabulous she looks? That smirk on her face is everything, it’s almost like she is saying darling, you can’t be me.

IMANSEThis is how you do black; add some drama and inject some color. Stunning, absolutely stunning. (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

OLU JACOBS AND JOKE SYLVASee ba, mummy and daddy can do no wrong ever!!!

UTI NWACHUKWURed carpet tenant! The first look is underwhelming, but the second one is fresh, vibrant and totally works for me.

SAMBISA NZERIBESomething about this look makes me very happy please. I like people who approach fashion as fun and don’t take it too seriously. This look just worked for me! Meanwhile, is he on Instagram? I am asking for a friend.

FALZHe looks like an angel, like he can break my heart and I’d still thank him.

ALEX EKUBOMy goodness, baby boy looks delicious; I could look at this picture all day. The suit sits on him beautifully and he just exudes confidence. (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

RICHARD MOFE DAMIJOI think my heart just skipped a bit! This man is aging beautifully, and would you look at his shoes? I’m in love! *swooning and fainting* (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

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 THE JUST PASS

RITA DOMINICThis was one of the most contentious looks at the award. I kept looking at this dress, and I should have liked it but for some reason, I couldn’t get myself to. Something was just off about it. I later realized that this dress was inspired by Naomi Campbell’s look at the Golden Globes; the cut is similar, color is almost similar, as well as the structure.

And then I realized what the issue is. Naomi is a tall girl. Rita is not tall, so she does not have the elongated frame to pull off this look. Also Naomi is very dark, while Rita is light-skinned, so the color washes her out. Plus Rita’s fabric comes across as cheap. This is a clear case of: Can you sew it? Yes ma, I can sew it very well.

Rita typically gets her fashion right, but this time, she fell flat on her face.

BEVERLY NAYAI love this girl. She always has this I’m-innocent-and-cannot-hurt-a-fly look about her, and she often brings her A game. This dress was not a bad look; I just don’t think it was properly fitted, especially around the bust area. Just look at that area up to the neck and you will see that there is excess fabric which is almost bunched up. Other than that, not a bad look. She should smile more, she is gorgeous.

LINDA EJIOFORThe color of this dress is vibrant and it suits her, but again, the fit is not perfect. Tailoring is a serious issue in the Nigerian fashion industry. This dress would work better if it hugged her fabulous body.

SUSAN PETERSShe looks like a prostitute from the Victorian era, covered up and exposed at the same time. Way too much is going on with this look; the dress is already over-embellished in all the wrong places, and she still piled on fake diamonds? As for her gloves, maybe she is baking the cakes for the after-party, because I can’t for the life of me figure out why she has those on.

CHIGULAunty Chigul was going to CWO meeting, but decided to drop in at the AMVCAs first. Ndi nne mama!!! See eh, the problem is not her size; it’s just that she doesn’t know how to dress for her body. Boat cuts and fat necks do not mix please. She should have worn a one-shoulder, A-line cut in a fabulous color with some statement necklace. But no, she decided to look like CWO’s mother general.

TONI TONESThe upper part of this dress is fantastic; the cut of the bodice, her hair and accessories are all great, but the lower part is a bit confusing. The detailing is not symmetrical. And did the fabric finish, so they had to use another fabric in a different shade of purple? And how is it that we can see where the dress is joined please? Why can’t these women understand that they are stars and put in the extra effort?

IYABO OJOThis is a fabulous dress; sadly it is not for a woman of her age. I will put Grace Egbagbe or even Florence Ita-Giwa in this dress; it ages Iyabo by at least 15 years. Sorry ma, kole werk.

LILIAN ESOROThis has to be her mother’s dress because I cannot figure out why she would wear this dress without having it altered to fit her body… Unless of course she borrowed it from a boutique to return later and they told her she’d be dead if she alters it.

FUNKE AKINDELE

I’m sorry but Funke underwhelmed me! This was her night; she produced and starred in what is easily the most successful TV show in Nigeria ever. And this is what she wears? I expected major glamour. When you walk the red carpet with a man and he looks better than you, just know that you need help. She even looked better at the premiere of her series. This was thoroughly disappointing

ZIZI CARDOWWell she was making dresses for the guests, so she didn’t have time to finish hers, and as a sharp babe that she is, she wrapped it around herself, used scissors and cut out the back and entered motor. Fa ncha bu style, nne. Nothing do you.

MERCY JOHNSONSee, let me cut her some slack. She probably came straight from a Service of Songs for a dead relative, which will explain this look. All these young girls wearing dresses that add years to their ages sef! See how she looks like a fabulous woman in her 50s. This does not work!

SEUN AJAYIAnother akwa oche someborry! Everything about him screams cheap.

STAN NZEYes I have a crush on this fella and we follow each other on Instagram. I have drooled over his photos in the past but I have also seen him look better than this. A for effort anyway.

WARREN MASEMOLANever thought I’d see my granny’s curtain being turned into a jacket

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THE NO WAY

WAJEWaje really never gets it right; it’s almost like she doesn’t ever know how to dress. Who inspired this dress please? A catholic nun? Waje is top heavy, and of all dresses on the planet, she goes to pick the very one that draws attention to the fact that she is top heavy. Let me not even get into the cheap-looking fabric and tacky tailoring (look at the shoulder cut and the hemline). She looks like a sad bridesmaid, one who is pretending to be happy for the bride. And what’s on her neck please? Is she practicing suicide? (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

ZAINAB BALOGUNWho did this to my darling Zainab? It will never be well with her stylist. I don’t even know where to begin, neither can I find any bearing to this look. My only explanation is that she planned to smuggle some exotic birds out of Nigeria, and so she wore the corset on top this hideous dress that ages her to hide them. This will explain the feathers peeking out from below. This girl needs better preeq to rearrange her brain. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

KEMI LALA AKINDOJUThree words: cheap, cheap, cheap! Yes, have I said cheap? And yes, add ‘tacky’ to it. She sure can serve as a scarecrow for a farm, so it’s not all that bad.

TOYIN ABRAHAMLet us pretend that this dress is her size and pretend like we don’t know she tried to use a belt to hide the fact that it is not her size. Did they pour water on her hair? And really, I have another three words for you, ma: Push-up bra, especially when Olympus has fallen.

CHIOMA AKPOTAHot mess! That’s what this is. Unless she plans to steal champagne at the event and therefore needs a dress to easily hide her bounty, I don’t see why she did this to herself. This was very depressing to look at, really! Nigerian tailors, you people will never make heaven. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

UCHE JOMBO-RODRIGUEZChai, I want to cry! Aunty Onye akwa oche! See, there is velvet and there is akwa oche, don’t confuse the two biko. Bolanle wore velvet, and this is akwa oche! The fabric is cheap and tacky, the cut is horrible, and please, was the stitching done by a carpenter? Uche is not even slim, so this dress even makes her look fatter than she is. I’m sorry, Mrs. Rodriguez, but this dress looks like heart break. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

DI’JAWhen you are a nun but you still want to turn up!

EKU EDEWOREku’s body looks fantastic; you cannot even guess she just had a baby. But I’m sorry, this dress looks miserable. Way too much is going on; she looks like a cross between a Charlie’s Angel and Supergirl. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

EUNICE OMOLEShe looks like an Asian hooker. I have never seen a more shapeless and useless dress in my life. I think people set up some of these girls by giving them these hideous get-ups to wear, all the while telling them: Auntie, e fine well-well. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

LANCELOT IMASUENWas this supposed to be an agbada? He looks like a masquerade please, like I am sure I will pick race if I saw him coming towards me.

DANIEL K. DANIELHe looks like all those Nollywood palace guards in those movies where Chika Ike is a princess who wears evening gowns to stay at home. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

RICHARD AKUSONThis guy is supposedly a stylist o! In his mind now, he has killed and destroyed them on the red carpet, not knowing that he looks like an offering to be presented to Yemoja.

KUNLE REMISee, let me tell you guys what happened to this one. He was ironing his pants and then he burned a hole in them. Seeing as there was no time to find something new, he just wrapped the ironing cloth around his pants and thought he could pretend he was making a statement. Kole work! We haf catch you, oga! (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

NANCY ISIMEWhen you order Wonder Woman from Jumia.

NUHU ABDULLAHIHe was probably searching for Buhari, then suddenly remembered the AMVCAs, took a break from his search, and decided to drop in.

FATHIA BALOGUNThis is beyond me really. Why would Fathia do this to herself? This horrible pantsuit doesn’t fit her properly and wasn’t even ironed. Let me just assume she mixed up the invite to the AMVCAs with that of a costume party, and so showed up looking like a groom’s man. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

MELVIN ODUAHHe looks like KCee, wearing everything he can find. Sorry darling, but less is more.

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Now this was really hard to decide, but my Best Dressed female is Somkele Idhalama. That dress is very modern yet very elegant. My Best Dressed male is Richard Mofe-Damijo. I love people who play with fashion and he nailed the look.

My Worst Dressed female had quite a few contenders, but I think Fathia Balogun was depressing enough to look at to win the slot. And my Worst Dressed male, Kunle Remi deserves that title hands down.

See you guys at the Met Gala

Peace!!!