RISE AND FALL
It all started when Timi’s sister searched his room and discovered gay porn VCD. She quickly alerted the entire family. They sat down and watched it like they were in a cinema, while waiting for Timi to get home. When he did, they pounced on him, devouring him with their outrage.
Consequently, Timi ran away from home, eventually calling me on the phone and narrating the drama to me. He stayed away from home from that day, preferring instead to live with a friend of his for a very long time in order to stay away from his family’s resentment. Eventually, he caved to his mother’s pleas to return home, even though the woman would never stop talking about the possibility of him changing. Upon his return, life did not return to normal. In fact, it became hellish. His older brother constantly abused him and declared that he was to have no more male visitors. And so, I had to stop visiting. At some point during this time, this brother ran into me and accused me of being Timi’s lover, warning me to stay away from their house.
In spite of this turmoil, Timi and I remained friends. That was what we were – best friends, not lovers.
A few months later, we discovered that there was a music competition being organized by Prince Tonye Princewill in Port Harcourt as part of his ‘Give Back To the Society’ initiative. We registered online and appeared at the venue for the audition. I sang In My Place by Coldplay, and Timi sang Heal The World by Michael Jackson. We both got in.
Later on, we were texted to appear for the second phase of the audition. And again, we passed.
Soon, we were informed that we would be asked to sing a variety of Nigerian songs, as well as present our original compositions toward the end of the competition. Well, that arrangement didn’t go down well with me, because I was no disposed to singing any songs recorded by Tuface, Wizkid and the like. Plus we’d be required to dance, and dancing had never really been my strong suit. So I opted out from the competition.
But I went on to be Timi’s music coach. His musical background was steeped in gospel and inspirational music; he grew up in a choir. I had to pick out appropriate worldly songs for him and coach him in singing them. Plus, he had no original composition of mainstream music. And so, I had to compose that for him. I simply wanted him to be a success in this. He needed some happiness in the pain that his life had recently become.
On the evening of the competition finale, he was spectacular with the song I wrote for him, and was declared the winner. As the winner, he was awarded five million naira plus an international one-year record deal. (For that report, Read HERE) I was in awe with this turn of events. I couldn’t believe it. I was deliriously happy for him.
Everything changed after his win. He swiftly moved out of his family house into a one-bedroom apartment in Agip, Port Harcourt, one which didn’t take time before he had it furnished. He wanted me to move in with him, but I declined. I had this impression in my mind that if I did, I’d lose his respect for me.
When the time for his record deal commenced, we showed up at the studio with a guitarist, my pen and my paper. (Timi wanted me to write all his songs for the debut album) But the producers, after going through my compositions, resisted. They said my songs did not have the Nigerian flavour; apparently, they were looking to discover the next Tuface in Timi. Their resistance led to a battle of creative differences, until Timi made it clear that if I wasn’t going to be allowed to write his songs, he would quit the record deal. The producers relented, and a compromise was reached, where the album would be a collaboration of my compositions and those of other songwriters.
Because we worked together, we spent more time together, and I found myself passing more and more time at Timi’s place. And at times like this, his mother and brother would come to visit, meet me there and hate me silently with stony stares and surly attitudes. They couldn’t afford to alienate Timi by lashing out at me, who they saw as a reminder of what they knew their son to be.
Timi and I recorded so many songs, and loved the experience. We would play songs he recorded which were written by the other writers and laugh at the recordings, and at him singing about girls that didn’t matter to him.
Life was beautiful. Life went on. Life was on the rise.
And then, he began complaining, infrequently so, about strange sounds he heard coming from inside his ceiling. Timi was superstitious. I knew this. So I dismissed his complaints, telling him that it was just nothing.
But then, he began calling me severally at night, insisting that the noises were real and they were depriving him of sleep. During these calls, he’d beg me to come and sleep at his place. I thought this was his ploy to get me to spend so many nights at his place that he’d eventually get what he wanted, which was me moving in with him.
After much cajoling, I finally caved and came to spend a night with him. We talked for long into the night, laughing and chatting until I dozed off.
I woke up early the following morning to find him red-eyed and looking like he hadn’t caught a wink all night. He hadn’t. When I enquired, he told me he could not sleep because of the noise from the ceiling. I’d slept soundly and hadn’t heard anything. He said he would have to go and see the landlord about investigating what was going on up there.
He never got around to doing that, because soon after, he fell sick, terribly sick. I encouraged him to treat malaria and typhoid with over-the-counter drugs, but he declined. He called his mother and told her that he wanted to come home so he’d be taken care of. But even home care did not seem to make him get any better. They took him to a church where he underwent some prayers, and yet his condition didn’t change.
And then, I was preparing for my matriculation as I’d just gotten admission into Rivers State University of Science & Technology to study Business Administration. I needed a Nigerian Degree. It was at this time that I got a call from Timi. He didn’t sound at all like him. His voice was weak and hoarse and bore no resemblance to the powerful vocal chords that conjured magic out of lyrics. When I asked him what the problem was, he told me he’d tested positive for HIV.
I couldn’t believe it. How? Why? When? Was it possible that his illness was a result of this…this HIV? I didn’t know much about HIV at the time, but I found it hard to believe that he could be incredibly healthy one moment, and then be struck down so rapidly the next from a HIV ailment. I mean, did the virus strike that fast? I had so many questions crowding my mind, questions that threatened to blow out into panic mode when he began talking about how he didn’t think he’d make it. He wanted me to come and see him because of his premonition.
The day I came to see him, because we knew that his mother still resented me, he had to come outside to meet me. The young man who came out of the house was a ghostly version of my best friend. He had thinned so much and looked pale. His complexion looked washed-out, and his gait was a slow slouch. He was coughing so much. As I watched him, I felt tears sting my eyes. I managed to maintain my composure as we chatted. But he seemed to wilt with every moment that passed. He looked so tired, so I asked him to go back inside.
It was only when his back was turned to me that I finally let go of my control over my emotions. The tears came, pouring out of my eyes as I stared at the retreating back of the friend I barely recognized. There was no way I could’ve known that that teary sight of his back was going to be the last I would ever see of him.
I called his number several times after that day, but never got through to him. I was worried. I texted him several times, but I got no response from him.
And then, two days later, I got a call from a guy who lives in his neighbourhood; he informed me that Timi had passed away the night before. I instantly rejected the news, refusing to believe it. I called Timi’s number, but the phone was switched off. Before long, I began getting calls from mutual friends, all of them wanting to know if what they’d heard was true.
And then, the cold wash of realization began to descend on me. But before I could let myself be drenched by that horrible thought, I fled for his house. I had to know for sure.
When I got to Timi’s house, it was to meet a crowd of people there. They were mourners, I quickly realized. Cries were rending the atmosphere.
Timi was gone.
I fought against that thought. It couldn’t be true. I looked desperately around, praying that he’d suddenly materialize from the crowd to tell me it was all a joke. But no, no Timi came out. Instead, I got his mother – a distraught-looking woman who took one look at me when she spotted me in her compound, and shared grief instantly bound us and washed away all the ugly past. She tottered toward me, her face a mask of pain and dropped into my arms, crying for her son, telling me how he had wanted to see me in his final hours, and how my name was on his dying lips.
She wept. She sobbed so hard, until some other people came and took her away.
I wanted to cry. My heart was over-burdened with sorrow, and my entire being ached with the force of my bereavement. I wanted to cry so much. But the tears wouldn’t come this time. I felt overcome with shock.
Timi was gone.
This time, I knew for sure. The cold, stark reality stared at me in the face.
Life was no longer beautiful. How could it be, when my best friend was gone? Life had fallen.
I loved him. And I lost him. And I’ll forever miss him.
Written by Mike Daemon
Timi recorded a demo titled Right Here, before his demise. The song was written by Mike Daemon. To have a listen, download HERE.
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25 Comments
Francis
July 16, 07:02The demo sounds really nice and is giving me a Ryan Tedder vibe production wise. Sorry for your loss man and I hope it gets better for you and his family as time goes by. The HIV had turned to AIDS that’s why he was hearing things
Don’t know how I’d cope if I lost my person as she’s being there from the start without judgements. Always asking questions and showing concern even when she doesn’t need to.
I hope this wasn’t a major Naija music competition sha before gist go land lindaikeji blog.
Your audition experience brings to mind my Star Quest abi na Star Trek audition. I don’t remember which song I did after which Weird MC told me to do a Nigerian song. I burst out laughing with the crowd as I did that Tuface African Queen song. It was so not werking at all. She was polite sha. She simply told me they were looking for peeps with a Naija vibe. I left the audition feeling good with myself as I hadn’t blown it based on vocal ability.
Pink Panther
July 16, 07:08Una wey get morale to climb stage sha. My stage fright is simply out of this world.
Francis
July 16, 07:14@PP: I used to have that but the desire to quit medicine for music was stronger so I had no option than to bind and cast every stage fright evul spirit.
Khaleesi
July 16, 07:46Wow… what a beautiful poignant story …
Ringlana
July 16, 09:03I nearly shed Tears this Morning
Temi Cole
July 16, 09:53Beautiful but really really sad. I love the song too… May Timi’s soul continue to rest in peace…
pete
July 16, 09:57a touching story.
ambivalentone(trystham)
July 16, 09:58Whoa!!! This is poignant. You have experienced a lot of pain. I’m sorry about ur loss
Diablo
July 16, 10:20This is so sad and unfortunate. Timi probably had full blown AIDS, hence the night time hallucinations and his quick demise. Its very tragic, and its a lesson for us all to go get tested. Early detection might be the difference btwn life and death. Il be going for a routine test this weekend, fingers crossed.
Pink Panther
July 16, 10:25Wait o, those hallucinations are symptoms of full blown AIDS?
Keredim
July 16, 11:38Yes they are Pinky. He could have had brain lesions or indeed brain cancer as a result of AIDS. This can cause hallucinations.
Is it widely known he was gay?
Dominic Obioha
July 16, 11:23Rest peace Timi. This is sad. Getting tested ASAP for the ones who love me. I guess I’m better of living as a patient than dead.
Sinnex
July 16, 11:44This is quite sad. One of the most touching piece I have read on this blog. It brought me close to tears. Does it mean that he contacted HIV when he was much younger? I thought it took a long time for HIV to become full blown AIDS?
Anyway, I did my HIV yesterday and waiting for the result was the longest 10 minutes of my life.
Francis
July 16, 12:04@Sinnex the progression from HIV to AIDS varies from individual to individual and the type of HIV matters too. HIV2 is slower than HIV1
Joseph
July 16, 11:51May he rest in peace.Pls pardon my naivety but how long does it take for HIV to metamorphose into AIDS???
Absalom
July 16, 12:36Sad. Sigh.
Peak
July 16, 12:46Right there (the song) brought the story to life for me. Its the perfect sound track, cos it rang off the depth of the friendship you guys had. I closed my eyes and and I imagined him in the studio belting those notes and an the imaged of both of you (unfamiliar faces) walking, laughing, running and teasing each other on the street flashed through my mind.
The demo sounds very promising, and timi’s vocals were clear and direct. I agree with francis, its sounds very ryan tedder-ish production wise and imagine dragons-ish sonically but with better vocals. Touching story. This must have been really hard for you to dredge up mike, thanks for sharing.
@sinnex, well done bro 4 being responsible and getting tested, well done.
Mike Daemon
July 16, 19:43Thank you guys…
Ace
July 16, 13:03This is sad. Really sad.
Max
July 16, 13:50Very emotional song.
JArch
July 16, 14:24Wow… This story is just… Wow
My condolences Mike
iamcoy
July 16, 14:53It is well Mike…
I don’t have the nerve to listen to the song. I am still dealing with some losses
kacee
July 16, 19:25I’m so sorry for your loss mike
Rev; Hot
July 16, 19:28oh boy! see talent Oooo. the lyrics and the voice…
and who said nothing good will ever come out from the gay community, huh?
touching story…
Raj
July 17, 06:23Was not even close to been predictable. That’s the worst part for me. I had waited to see a happy ending. He had suffered family rejection and I really hope this was a chance to be a beautiful successful young man.
About HIV diagnosis on how HIV reaches full blown aids was made using the whites who have a good standard of living and environment,hence,they seldom have stress full lifestyle and have good nutrition that can make the virus linger awhile before full blown AIDS.
So,with factors like unhealthy environment ,stress ,improper nutrition and of course lack of anti retroviral drugs,one could be having AIDS in a matter of some months to few years.
I got tested and turned negative, but I wonder how life would be being positive. It is stigmatising being gay, to be gay and black,less easy. To be gay black and African almost unbearable. To be gay,black,African and HIV positive, that’s tough..
A touching piece. Head still spinning with pity and overwhelming sympathy