ROULETTE OF THE DAMNED 10: The Maelstrom

“Nnamdi?” Abbey said. She stared at Bukunmi in disbelief. “Of all the people in the world to bring tonight, you brought Nnamdi? Are you seriously kidding me right now?”

Jiro stared at Bukunmi’s date, turned to Abbey and asked, “Hold up! Abbey, how do you know Nnamdi?”

Nnamdi’s eyes set on Jiro. “Wow, Jiro, what in the world are you doing here?”

Jiro turned to him. “I should ask you the same question. How do you know Abbey and what the hell are you doing here with slutty Bukunmi as your date?”

Stunned, the smile faded quickly from Bukunmi’s face as she whirled around to face Jiro. “What did you just call me?”

Jiro had opened his mouth to speak when Andrew interrupted by asking cautiously, “Jiro, who is this dude?” He was pointing at Nnamdi. “You’ve never mentioned him before. How do you know him?”

Again, as Jiro was going to answer Andrew, Abbey interrupted him with another question. “Wait, Jiro, you know this douchebag?” She too was pointing at Nnamdi.

“Take that back, you good-for-nothing, fucking cunt!” Nnamdi blazed at her, his smile gone.

“Now hold up one minute,” Mofe flashed. “Watch yourself. That’s my –”

Abbey rounded on Nnamdi, cutting Mofe’s protestation short. “Who is good-for-nothing in you and me? After your display at the club that night, even Jehovah-Witness believers will agree with me that you are the useless one. So don’t you dare cuss at me, you good-for-nothing pervert.”

Noticing that they were starting to draw the attention of most of the diners in the restaurant, Mofe cut in with a hiss, “Okay, everyone, calm down. We are starting to create a spectacle here.”

Nobody at the table seemed to pay him any attention.

Andrew was shaking his head as he asked, “How come everyone knows this Nnamdi guy except me?” He looked directly at Nnamdi. “Who are you and how do you know Jiro?”

Sensing the jealousy in Andrew’s demeanour, Jiro touched his shoulder. “Calm down, Drew. Nnamdi is–”

“A disgusting, pushy, overbearing jackass,” Abbey cut with no small amount of irritation.

“Hey, don’t call my date a pervert!” Bukunmi intervened.

“You little bitch,” Nnamdi seethed at Abbey.

“Who the hell are you calling a bitch, bitch!” Abbey spat back.

It seemed like the calmer side of Nnamdi lost the war raging inside him at that point. He moved forward to pick a table knife from the table. His face a snarling mask, he said, “Ah Jiro, this cunt doesn’t know me oh. I will cut this bitch right now.” He lifted the knife towards Abbey, his eyes on her throat.

Abbey sniggered with mocking disdain, her temper also at a high. “Come and try it, motherfucker. Just try it.”

Nnamdi took one menacing step toward her. Mofe moved forward to, protectively in Abbey’s direction, while Jiro inserted himself in front of Nnamdi. He held Nnamdi’s upper arm. “Calm down, guy. You don’t want to do that, Nnamdi.”

Andrew stared at them, at the way Jiro held Nnamdi, and felt his blood begin to simmer. His hand tightened around the bottle of wine he and Jiro had brought for Mofe as a gift.

Nnamdi lowered his knife-wielding hand, and he seemed to calm down a bit until Abbey opened her mouth and spoke out of turn again. “Jiro, let him do his worst. He can’t do more than a dead rat.”

Nnamdi’s eyes turned blood red and he pushed through Jiro’s arms to stab Abbey from any angle he could reach, but Jiro wrapped his arms around Nnamdi’s shoulder to stop the lunge. A gasp trembled through the restaurant at the audacity of the scuffle.

Abbey railed on, “Come on, bitch, c’mon. Do your worst.”

Still holding on to Nnamdi, Jiro turned to face her and snapped, “Woman, are you trying to get yourself killed? Shut up for two bloody minutes, will you?”

Andrew watched Jiro hold firmly to Nnamdi. He observed Jiro crush Nnamdi’s body with his own from the back to ensure that Nnamdi would be trapped with his body weight. His blood reached tipping point. His grip firmed around the wine bottle with such strength that the stem of the bottle broke, releasing the rest of the bottle to drop to the ground with a startling shatter.

Everyone turned to stare at Andrew.

Shards of glass and the wine’s contents had soaked the table cloth and messed up the floor surrounding him.

Jiro was the first to move, quickly getting to Andrew’s side to check his hand. There were minor cuts on the palm. He picked up a napkin and wound it around Andrew’s palm.

“Jesus! Are you okay?”

Andrew nodded, eyes still fixed on Nnamdi with venom.

“What the fuck was that, Andrew? What just happened?”

Andrew looked too angry to speak. I thought he said he had never been with a man before, he raged inwardly at Jiro. Clearly, I was wrong. There was a lot of familiarity with the way Jiro held Nnamdi’s body a few minutes ago, he thought, like he knew the man intimately. Was this Nnamdi guy someone he had done something sexual with before? Why didn’t Jiro tell him about him in the beginning? Instead, he had to find out by meeting the man Jiro must have had feelings for at his own cousin’s birthday dinner. Was Jiro ever going to tell him that he wasn’t the first man in his life? Why couldn’t men just say the damn truth? Andrew’s jealousy pounded in his veins with lightning speed. Damn you, Jiro! Fuck you very much!

“You need to apply pressure to that hand to stop the bleeding,” Abbey was speaking to him. After a quick fulminating glance at Nnamdi, she turned on her friend. “Bukunmi, I’m honestly disappointed in you. Do you always have to be such a tramp? Are there no more men in Lagos? Why did you have to pick this candidate for hell as your dinner date?”

Bukunmi bristled instantly. “You are one to talk, you bloody hypocrite. You have absolutely no right to tell me who I can and cannot hang out with. You are NOT my mother and you are NOT part of my family. Who I go out with is none of your business.”

“Excuse me,” a voice cut in just then with steely purpose.

The six people who were still standing around the table turned to face a nicely dressed woman who was standing a few metres away from them. Her expression was a remarkable mix of reproof and reserve. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” she said politely. “I am the assistant manager here at Four Points Restaurant. You are constituting a nuisance, in case you haven’t already known this. If you have problems, I suggest you leave at once to resolve it elsewhere. Or keep your voices down and take your seats.”

Mofe replied apologetically, “I am so sorry for all of this. They are my guests. I take full responsibility. We will just take our seats and get on with our dinner.”

“Thank you very much, sir. I would really appreciate that.” Looking in Andrew’s direction, she added, “I’ll have someone come clean that up.”

“Thank you,” Mofe said. “And please, let us have two bottles of Rose for the table.”

“Right away, sir.” The assistant manager gave them an expansive smile, before walking away.

In the aftermath of her departure, a waiter approached to show them to another table. This was in a more secluded corner of the restaurant. As they settled around the table, Abbey tried smiling apologetically at Mofe. But her boyfriend wouldn’t meet her gaze.

When they were all seated, Mofe began in a steely tone, “Ok. Let’s start from the beginning.” He swept a hard gaze around the table. “Who wants to go first?”

No one spoke.

“Anyone?”

There remained resolute silence.

“Fine. I’ll go first then. There are six people on this table. Abbey is my girlfriend, and Andrew, the fool bleeding his hand out on a napkin over here, is my cousin. Bukunmi is Abbey’s friend, and Nnamdi is her date. Jiro is Andrew’s plus one, the famous best friend I have been waiting to meet. That is how I know all of you. It’s now someone else’s turn.”

“Abbey is your girlfriend?” Andrew queried just then. Both he and Jiro were looking from Mofe to Abbey.

“I just said that,” Mofe bit out. “What I want to know now is how you know everyone else on this table.”

“Jiro is my best friend from way back and we work in the same company,” Andrew began in a cool tone. “Abbey and I were friends for a long time before we – uhm, had a little misunderstanding recently. Bukunmi works in the same company as Jiro and I, but on a different floor.” Turning to stare coldly at Nnamdi, he added, “And I don’t know who this guy is.”

“Nnamdi is my brother-in-law’s younger brother,” Jiro interjected.

“Oh…” was Andrew’s response.

Jiro continued. “Mofe, this is my first time of meeting you, but I have heard a lot about you from Andrew. I know Bukunmi because we work in the same company. Abbey, your girlfriend, is my ex-fiancée –”

“Your ex-fiancée?” Mofe interrupted. “You were engaged to be married to Abbey – my Abbey – this Abbey?”

“Yes, we were engaged,” Jiro said to Mofe, before turning to look at Abbey accusingly, “Although Abbey, in the three years we dated, you never said you knew Bukunmi, even when I told you things about her. You must have known I was talking about the same Bukunmi. I described her to the last detail and even showed you a picture of her, but you feigned ignorance. Why is that? Were you so ashamed to admit that she was your friend after I told you she is popularly known as the company slut!”

“Exciiiuuuuuzzze-ME!” Bukunmi flared.

“Forget that for a minute,” Abbey cut in. “Are you telling me your sister married this pervert’s brother?” She gestured disdainfully in Nnamdi’s direction.

“Bitch –” Nnamdi began.

“Hey,” Jiro cut in angrily. “Nnamdi is part of my family. Stop calling him that! What is the matter with you!”

“And so what if he’s part of your family, ehn?” Abbey said, raising her voice slightly. “Is it common practice in your family for the men to hit on women till they agree and be rude to them when they don’t? In your case, you asking me out all those years ago was tolerated because I liked you. Nnamdi on the other hand, I did not like. And I made it clear to him but he practically wanted to drag me to the dance floor and shove drinks down my throat just so he could sleep with me.”

Jiro looked from Abbey to Nnamdi. “Is this true?”

Looking resentful, Nnamdi had opened his mouth to answer, when a waiter came to the table with the two bottles of Rose and dropped it. With a smile, he asked, “Can I get you something to eat from the menu? We have an amazing variety to choose from. I could even help you select some delightful meals if you’d like.” He brought out his notepad, ready to jot down their orders.

In unison, the six diners said, “No!”

Startled by the hostility, the waiter quickly mumbled, “Okay, I’ll just come back then”, before running off.

The focus turned from the fleeing waiter to the table. And Bukunmi spoke up, “Let me just say something. I have had it with the sanctimonious attitudes here, especially that of you, Jiro, and you, Abbey. So, I’m just going to speak my mind.” Rounding on Abbey, she began, “You’re my good friend, yes. But sometimes, like today, I get sick and tired of your attitude. What is it with you exactly? Why do you have to act so stuck up every damn time? Do you think you are better than anyone else at this table? Haba! And what’s all this I’m hearing about Jiro talking to you several times about me? When I asked you why you never told Jiro about me being your friend, you said it was simply because you wanted someone strategically placed on the inside at the office to tell you what Jiro and Andrew are up to. You told me you didn’t trust them and you had started to wonder if they were gay –”

“Wait, just hold up a minute –” Jiro started.

But Bukunmi barreled on, still focused on Abbey, who was now looking at her, open-mouthed. “Why didn’t you tell me they were calling me names behind my back? Abbey, you are a wicked friend. I have done nothing but be a good friend to you. I have made excuses for you even when I knew better. I have supported you through the good times and the bad. I practically threw myself at Jiro to know if he was truly gay just so you could have peace of mind. All at your fucking request, I might add. I have been awesome to you but you have done nothing but betray me at every damn turn. With friends like you, who needs enemies?”

Jiro and Andrew stared at Abbey then, shock and disgust stamped on their faces.

Jiro said, “You – you asked her to spy on us…on me? How low can you get, Abbey? How long has this gone on for? How could you? And how could you?” He snapped, swiveling to Bukunmi.

“Eh-eh, hold it there, mister!” Bukunmi snapped back, raising a hand to his face. “You have done nothing but insult me all evening. If you hadn’t heard what I just said about how Abbey used me to get to you, you’d still be insulting me without truly knowing me. You judged me by what people said and you call yourself a God-fearing Christian. Self righteous prick!”

Before Jiro could get a word in edge-wise, Bukunmi continued. She was on a roll. “And who did you call ‘company slut’? I like men and I don’t try to hide it. It’s not a problem for me because with me, what you see is what you get. I have never tried to be someone or something I am not. I am open and honest about whom I like to have sex with. Unlike some people.” She added, with a sneering up-and-down look at Andrew and Jiro.

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?” Andrew asked angrily. His hand still hurt but, thanks to the pressure applied on the napkin, the bleeding had stopped.

“It means, my dear Drew,” Bukunmi said with an acid smile, “that you and your best friend are nothing but cock suckers.”

There was a collective gasp at the table.

Bukunmi didn’t stop there. She was ready to talk. “And don’t try to deny it, because I caught both of you on Tuesday evening around 10pm. You see, unlike the both of you, I only use my sluttish” – she put finger quotes on the word – “powers for good, and I only use it when necessary. The photocopy machine on my floor broke and I was coming to be the ‘company slut’, to ask Benjamin on your floor to let me use his since I know he works late and he’s got his own in his office. Only, I saw Benjamin when I got out of the elevator and he told me that everyone had gone home, but I could ask either you or Jiro, because you were both still in the office. Imagine my surprise when I saw the reason why you both work late nights and why your secretaries keep complaining that they lock the windows in your offices before they leave for home but they always find papers on the floor the next day. If memory serves me right, someone had his mouth wrapped around someone else’s cock. You can be sure that I stayed to watch the show. By the time I was leaving, someone was penetrating the other person anally. I’ll do you both a favour and keep the details of who was top and who was bottom to myself. Don’t say I never did something good for you.” Bukunmi finished her revelation with a satisfied smile on her face.

For a full moment, no one spoke. The silence was one of astonishment, but around them, the buzz of the restaurant eddied.

Abbey was the one who finally broke the silence. She divided a hurt look between Jiro and Andrew. “Is this true? Have both of you been fucking?” She looked nauseous at the thought.

The two men said nothing, but Abbey noticed the flutter in Jiro’s eye; something he did only when he was trying to hide the truth. Understanding crept into Abbey’s eyes.

“Oh my God, it’s true. So both of you are faggots! I thought I was crazy. I thought I was losing my mind, but it turns out that it is the both of you that are crazy. You are both disgusting. How can you possibly enjoy that! I gave myself, my body to you, Jiro! And instead you thought it better to fuck Andrew?!”

Andrew’s body jerked in anger. His palm itched to give Abbey a dirty slap, but he kept his hands on his laps instead. He settled instead for stonily staring back at her.

Jiro was the one who responded. “Abbey, it’s not what you think. Things aren’t as easy as you are making them out to be. You don’t understand what or why things happened the way they happened. It’s complicated, and to be frank, you are sort of to blame.”

“I beg your pardon?” Even as Abbey gave the retort, she knew that Jiro was right. After all, she was the one that pushed Jiro into the arms of someone else… particularly into the arms of the man beside him. Although at the time, she hadn’t thought she was right. She was just so angry about having to share him every weekend with his best friend that she had jumped the gun and accused both of them of being into each other sexually. In her defense, she didn’t think they’d actually take her serious and get on with it!

And to think I waited four years for him to propose, she seethed. Four wasted years! God, I am so stupid. At least I wasn’t married to him before I found out.  Better a fag hag than a fag’s wife.

Resenting Jiro’s implication that she shared any blame, and herself for believing it, she snapped at him, “Both of you did this to yourselves. Doing what you’re doing is a choice both of you made. No one twisted your arm or put a gun to your heads to suck your dicks. So don’t blame anyone else. The only persons to blame for the disgusting thing you’re doing are yourselves.”

“You hold up right there, you mouth-painting, tongue-wagging, deceitful little Jezebel!” Nnamdi cut in then. “You are acting like such a bitch. Why don’t you remove the log in your eye before judging other people? First of all, you lied to me at the club and said your name was Esther. I saw Bukunmi at KFC some days back and remembered her from the club. I felt horrible that I had treated you badly at the club that night. I had just broken up with my girlfriend of five years and I was drunk, so I acted stupidly around you. I explained everything to her and she was nice enough to give me a pass. I practically begged her to give me your number but she said no. We exchanged numbers and she said she’d see when she can get you and I to meet so I can formally apologise to you and put the past behind us. Imagine my excitement when she called me last night and told me about this dinner today. I immediately jumped at the chance to right my earlier wrong from all those weeks ago. I came here with the intent on making things right with you. But instead, all you have done is call me names. They may have lied to you about fucking each other, but you’re a worse person. So don’t sit there judging other people until you look at yourself more closely. Salvation is a personal journey. You’d do yourself a huge favour by remembering that.”

Jiro looked at Nnamdi and said, “Thank you for standing up for me.”

Nnamdi had disdain on his face when he rejoined, “I wasn’t supporting you or standing up for you, Jiro. I was making a point for myself. When did you become a cock sucker?”

Both Jiro and Andrew stiffened in their seats, but remained silent.

Abbey however had something to say to Nnamdi. “You can’t expect me to have known you came here to apologise to me when the first words that came out of your mouth tonight to me was, ‘ Take that back, you good-for-nothing, fucking cunt.’ Your intention might have been noble, but your method of approach was offensive.”

“That is only because you called me a douchebag. Look, I understand why you sent the hulk over here” – he gestured at Mofe – “to threaten to break my bones that night at the club, but I thought you would be open to the idea of an apology, especially one that was face to face. Obviously I was wrong. Bukunmi” he turned to his date as he got up from his seat – “I am sorry but I cannot stay any longer. Your friend is not worth an apology.”

He shoved off from the table.

“I’m sorry too, Nnamdi,” Bukunmi said, standing up as well. “I didn’t know this dinner was going to go all kinds of wrong.”

“It’s okay. I’ll see you around. Feel free to call me anytime so we can hang out, just you and I.” Nnamdi turned to Jiro. “I’ll call you later, bro. We need to talk about this gay thing you have going on.” With that, he walked away.

And six became five.

“You didn’t have to do that, Abbey,” Bukunmi said in the wake of his departure.

“Do what? Speak my mind?”

“You know what? You are right.” Bukunmi said. “You have spoken your mind. Now I will speak mine. You and I go back a long way and I can forgive you for not telling me the things Jiro and his cohorts in the office said about me. I can even forgive you for being rude and mean to Nnamdi, but I cannot stand to be beside you right now after you have treated me so badly tonight. Your attitude tonight has been nothing but repulsive.” She picked her bag. “I’m so sorry, Mofe. I can’t be here right now. Happy birthday, darling. I’ll send you your gift later on. Hope you enjoy the rest of your dinner. I’m sorry if I ruined it for you by bringing Nnamdi along.”

She turned to Jiro and Andrew. “Guys, I’m sorry I outted you, it was never my intention. I am a huge LGBT fan, and I should never have forced your thing into the light the way I did. I hope you can find a way to forgive me for tonight. For what’s it worth, I think both of you look amazing together.”

With that, she walked off, hurrying to see if she could still catch up with Nnamdi.

And five became four.

Abbey looked away from Bukunmi’s retreating frame and turned her attention to Jiro. She looked apologetic. “Look, Jiro, about what I said tonight, I’m so sorry. I never meant to –”

“Save it, Abbey,” Jiro said. He looked drained by the events of the evening. “You got what you wanted. You used Bukunmi, lied to me, and made yourself seem like the saint when you are the devil in the group. I never asked you to tell me how attracted I was to Andrew. I begged you to come back to me but you ignored my pleas, and now that I find myself truly falling for Andrew, you dare open your mouth and judge me. How dare you? Who died and made you God? You caused this. Let it register in your head. You did this.” He got up and looked down at her. “I just realised we haven’t really discussed since you threw my ring back at me all those weeks ago. Consider this my official break-up with you. Delete my number from your phone and never contact me again.” Looking at Mofe, he said. “I’m so sorry for all of this. Everything else aside, it was really nice meeting you. Have a great dinner. Sorry I can’t stay any longer. Andrew, I’ll be waiting for you in the car.” Without looking back, he walked out of the restaurant.

And four became three.

“I think I better go,” Andrew said, holding the blood-soaked napkin to his hand. “I’m so sorry about all of this, Mofe. I’ll call you first thing in the morning. Please don’t make any assumptions about my liking men until I explain everything to you from the beginning. You’ll love Jiro once you get to know him. He’s truly the best thing that has ever happened to me, even before he and I found out that we were attracted to each other. Promise me you won’t go all homophobic on me until you hear what I have to say.”

Too stunned to speak, Mofe simply nodded. “Get that hand checked,” he said.

“Sure, I will. I love you, cuz.” Without a single word to Abbey, he got up and hurried after Jiro.

And three became two.

Mofe stared at Abbey.

She couldn’t bring herself to look back at him. Her stomach churned. She looked down at her hands and realised she was shaking. No surprise there, she thought miserably. The first man she’d let her guard down with after Jiro happened to be Jiro’s lover’s cousin. She had embarrassed herself and Mofe in a high-brow restaurant on his birthday. She looked up and tried to summon the courage to speak, but her voice failed her. Her current boyfriend was her ex-fiancé’s lover’s cousin. Was there any justice in this world? Was her life just one big joke to God?

“Abbey listen –” Mofe started.

“No, Mofe. Please just… no,” she said. She sighed and continued, “So many secrets have come out tonight and I cannot bear another blow. I know you want to break up with me. After the fiasco I drummed up here tonight, who wouldn’t want to break up with me? I’d break up with me too if I were you. I seem to be the cause of everything that has happened tonight. All I do is ruin lives, relationships, friendships, and birthday dinners.”

“Now come on, you know that’s not even remotely true.” Mofe reached out across the table to hold her hand, but she moved away from his touch as if it would burn her.

“Bukunmi’s hurt because of me. I just lost whatever fragment of friendship I had with Jiro and Andrew because I did not trust them and I judged their actions when I had absolutely no right to. I didn’t even wait to hear what Nnamdi had to say before I bit his head off when I saw him initially. I am such a horrible person.”

“These things are all circumstantial, Abbey. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I don’t mind one bit. We can still fix all the things you just mentioned. They’ll all come around. And if they don’t, then they don’t. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Abbey, I’m in love with you,” Mofe said, his eyes shining bright with the affection he felt for Abbey.

Abbey couldn’t see it. She was too busy wallowing in her self-loathing to notice.

“I doubt that, Mofe. How can you love someone as horrible as me? I’m not worth loving. I’ll destroy your life sooner or later if you love me. This is how my life is…even at home. My father’s behaviour has taught me how to destroy lives and I learnt it without even knowing. The issues my parents exposed me to all these years have found a way to ruin so many things in my life; trust and love being the two greatest causalities.” She smothered a sob. “Maybe Nnamdi was right. Maybe you should just cut me off now while you still can. You deserve a better birthday dinner. You deserve a better girlfriend. You deserve a better life.”

“Abbey, please stop all this crazy talk,” Mofe said, his voice desperate. “Look, I only care about you. I’ll die for you if I have to. I don’t care if you dated my cousin or father or whoever before. I’m the one in your life now and I’m in love with you and only you. That’s all that matters. I cannot breathe without you. I cannot live without you. I don’t care about anything or anyone else but you. You mean more to me than –”

But Abbey wasn’t listening. She was getting up from her seat and picking up her bag..

“Abbey, wait. Let’s discuss this…”

“You may not see it right now, but I am doing you a favour by walking out of your life before I ruin it completely. You deserve better than I can ever offer you. I can only say I’m glad to have met you. Have a good life, Mofe.” With that, she fled from the restaurant.

And two became one.

Mofe looked around the restaurant, only now aware that the diners surrounding him were staring surreptitiously at him, having witnessed his entire conversation with Abbey. Feeling a spurt of irritation, he signaled for the waiter to bring the bill for the unopened bottles of champagne.

There would be no drinking of champagne tonight. Happy fucking birthday, Mofe, he mocked himself, as he pulled out his debit card to pay for the alcohol nobody had tasted.

Written by The Controvert