ROULETTE OF THE DAMNED 17: The Fall II

“Jiro, I don’t think we should continue seeing each other anymore,” Andrew said. “I think it’s time I let you go.”

This is the only way, Andrew thought. Say it now before you lose your nerve. He will thank you for it later in future.

Watching the mounting incredulous on Jiro’s face, he added, “You are not attracted to men…not really.”

“You son of a bitch!”Jiro hissed.

Andrew flinched at the heat in his words.

“I thought you liked being with me!” Jiro continued, his voice gradually rising. “I thought you cared about me. I thought you would fight for our relationship no matter what. I guess I was wrong. If you were tired of me, you could have just said so. I wouldn’t have bothered you anymore.”

Despairingly, Andrew reiterated, “You are not attracted to men. Not really.”

The words only seemed to make Jiro angrier. Shaking with anger, he clenched his fists but kept his trembling arms locked to his sides. “You sadistic, cynical, overly-pessimistic, borderline-crazy bastard! I became attracted to men just for you… because of you. Wasn’t it enough that you fucked with my mind and my head until you made me want you? Wasn’t it enough that you made me want your hands on me? Wasn’t it enough that you teased me endlessly and made me beg for permission to suck your cock? Wasn’t it enough that you let me enjoy fucking you until I practically sold my ass to you in submission so you could fuck me too?”

Looking wildly around, Andrew gestured with his hands for Jiro to lower his voice.

But he would have none of it. Pushing Andrew’s hands away, Jiro continued. “Weren’t all these things enough thrill for you? Sorry if I wasn’t gay enough for you.”

“No, no… That’s not what I meant…”

“Then what!” Jiro spat. “What was all this about? Was I merely a source of amusement to you? Did you laugh about how pathetic I was? Did you make me a joke to all your gay friends as you laughed about how a man that was so straight could indulge in such gay activities and fawn over you? I guess now that you know I’m willing to go the extra length with you in this relationship, you got bored, huh? I don’t really blame you, Andrew. Hell, I cannot believe how stupid I am! How could I have fallen in love with the biggest son of a bitch this world has ever produced? I should have known better!”

Whoa! Did he just say he loves me? Andrew gave Jiro a startled look.

“I have no one to blame but myself,” Jiro railed on. “It was my own damn fault for letting it get this far!”

“Jiro…” Andrew started.

He never got to finish his sentence because Jiro stepped around the edge of Andrew’s table and towards Andrew with closed fists. He knew Jiro’s body had gone into attack mode and he was most unpredictable when he was this way. Andrew jumped out of his chair and darted backward, holding his hands out defensively.

“Actually,” Jiro snarled as he continued advancing. “How about I give you half the blame?”

No, it’s all mine! Andrew wanted to say. He so badly wanted to speak but he couldn’t find his voice.

Jiro’s trembling hand swept across Andrew’s table, his full strength behind it. Most of the things on it – files, papers, the laptop and iPad – that met with the sweeping arc of his hand were sent flying across the office floor. Andrew stared, his hands still held up protectively in case Jiro made any sudden moves toward him. Knowing Jiro was unpredictable when he was angry, Andrew never took his eyes off him to check out his things lying on the ground.

Jiro straightened and glared at Andrew, his ice cold stare solid like a touch. “You win. You don’t want to be with me anymore? Consider yourself a single man once again. Congratulations.” And he turned and made for the door.

I can’t do this, Andrew thought, suddenly panicked. I can’t let him walk out of my life just like that. It fucking hurts too much. Under his shirt and past his breastbone, Andrew could feel his heart breaking with each step Jiro took towards the door. If I let him leave this office, I will definitely lose him forever.

Jumping forward, Andrew followed Jiro towards the door. “Wait, Jiro!”

He stopped and turned. “What for?” he said flatly.

“I’m not kicking you out of my life. Please don’t go. I’m so sorry. I never thought about how what I was saying would affect you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please let’s talk it over. This is not what I meant at all.”

“Oh fuck you, Andrew,” Jiro spat. “You don’t have to lie to me to spare my feelings. I’m already leaving like you wanted. I’ve had lots of experience with Abbey to know when I’m not wanted. I am not a toy you can take out, play with, and shove back into a box when you get bored. I am not the guy you get at the end of the fucking movie. I am not a fantasy. I refuse to let this drag on the way things did with Abbey. You want me out, you got it.”

He turned to leave, but Andrew moved swiftly around him and blocked off his exit. “Jiro, please wait–”

“Move!”

Andrew didn’t bulge. “Jiro, look –”

Jiro pounced on him, shoving him roughly out of his front and yanked open the door. Then he turned and stared Andrew down. A fine crease was visible across the man’s smooth forehead, but his brows were less furrowed than before. He pointed at Andrew and said in a low menacing tone, “Love, like every original emotion in the universe, cannot be destroyed, but it can change over time. There’s a thin line between love and hate Andrew, and you just crossed it. You’ll regret you ever did what you did to me today.”

And Jiro turned his back to Andrew and was gone.

Andrew wanted to go after him and take back all that he said, but he thought better of it. At the moment, Jiro was too angry and hurt, and wouldn’t hear a thing he had to say. If he was going to get through to him, he simply had to lay low for a while and let Jiro’s anger simmer down.

I’ll give him his space for now and talk things out with him later. He can’t stay mad at me forever.

Whether it was cowardice or good judgment that led to that decision, Andrew didn’t know. All he knew was that staying away from each other for a short while seemed like the right thing to do.

Sighing, he turned and glanced at the mess in his office. Then he dropped to his haunches and started picking up his things from the floor.

***

Righteous anger carried Jiro out of Andrew’s office, down the hallway, and all the way to his own office. It was only after he had gotten to in the room that the anger dissipated a bit and then it dumped him in his chair feeling empty and shaking like a leaf. Turning to face the window, Jiro held the armrest of his chair firmly in both hands and stared outside at nothing.

He had given up everything for Andrew: his love for women, his body, and his heart. When he was a teenager, planning an education and career had been easy for Jiro. He had known exactly what he wanted to study in the university and what career path he had wanted ever since he was in secondary school. So far, he had accomplished every goal he had set for himself in every area of his life.

…except when it came to the love department.

He had always believed that love made the world go round and love could heal the deepest of wounds.

Utter garbage!

How could love heal wounds when love was the primary cause for heartaches? First Abbey, and now Andrew!

Abbey had tossed him around and nagged him to death about getting engaged before breaking up with him. According to Andrew, Abbey and Mofe were now engaged. As for Andrew… The son-of-a-bitch had just broken his heart into a million little pieces.

Jiro was done believing that love could make the world go round and that love could make people whole again. The only thing that idiotic notion had brought into his life was pain and indescribable heartache. Love was built for idiots. He was done with being a player in cupid’s lousy games.

What Jiro wanted now was revenge. He wanted his pound of flesh and he wanted it badly. There was only one problem… How was he going to get his pound of flesh when his stupid heart still loved Andrew?

There was only one way.

Jiro had to hit Andrew where it would hurt him the most!

***

Glad that her plans were finally falling into place, Abbey ended her phone conversation. Although it was a Monday, she had called in sick and promised to work to the best of her ability from home. Her boss, knowing that she had never before missed a day of work before, had obliged her.

After the face-off between Mofe and her dad, Abbey had gone home with Mofe and had stayed at his place all weekend, only going back home once to pick up her car. In Mofe’s vigilant company, of course. Her father hadn’t been around when they made the trip. She hadn’t wanted to call in sick at work, but knowing that her father could find her in her office had made Mofe a bit worried. He asked her to stay home for the week until her father had let go of his anger and was no longer a threat to her. After a brief tussle of wills, she agreed to call in sick only for the day. Even though Mofe had accepted the compromise, she knew he would still try to make her stay home for the rest of the week.

Being with Mofe had taught Abbey a lot in the short time of their relationship so far. His understanding nature was fast rubbing off on her and she was loving every minute of her transformation. So far she had learnt that just because she wasn’t with Jiro anymore and she didn’t talk to Andrew as much anymore didn’t mean she couldn’t care for both of them. Although she wasn’t completely comfortable with Jiro and Andrew’s relationship, she was beginning to warm up to it. It was just like Mofe had said, having homosexual tendencies in the middle of a heterosexual community couldn’t possibly be easy for Andrew and Jiro. She had decided to focus on their personalities as good friends and not their sexual orientation.

For the first time in her life, Abbey was finally happy. All her friends were in good places, her mother was finally out of her father’s house, and her father couldn’t hurt her or her mother anymore. The only people left in her life that she had to make amends with were Jiro and Andrew. She wanted her two best male friends back. And after the surprise plans Abbey had just put in place over the phone for the two men, she was sure that her effort to win back their friendship was in the right direction.

Nothing can go wrong from here on out, she thought to herself with a smile.

As she thought of logging into her emails from work, her phone rang. Abbey looked at the Caller ID. It was Bukunmi. Looking at the laptop and the tons of emails from work she was yet to go through, Abbey reluctantly stood from the office space she had created in Mofe’s house and walked towards the balcony of the house to get better reception for the phone call.

“Hi, BK, I was just thinking about you.,” she answered with a smile.

The smile began to wilt and eventually wither away as she listened to Bukunmi speak on the other end. A frown eclipsed her features and fear jumped in her eyes.

Oh my God! No, no, no, no, no! Abbey repeated in her head over and over again. This is not happening! Not now! Not when everything’s going so well.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her nerves and get all the facts. “Wait, say that again slowly. You are where?”

“I’m at your parent’s house,” Bukunmi’s voice came to her with a rattled tone. “Please Abbey, help me. I don’t know what to do.”

“Bolt all the doors!” Abbey instructed. “Don’t leave the house or open the door for anyone except me. In fact, stay where you are. I have my house keys. I’ll let myself into the house that way. Don’t do anything until I get there. I’m on my way. Please Bukunmi stay exactly where you are and tell no one else about this.”

“Okay,” Bukunmi said. She was sobbing violently.

Abbey cut the call, grabbed her car keys and ran out of the house. Before long, she was driving like a bat out of hell to her parent’s house.

Written by The Controvert