Stories That Straight People Tell About Gay Men

Stories That Straight People Tell About Gay Men

So, on Jorolomofin’s Instagram page, the following was posted about a woman who supposedly discovered that her husband is not only gay but cheating on her with another man.

So, the things to understand from this, um, true life story is:

1. Gay men bleed excessively when they lose their anal virginity, and this bleeding stains their boxers.

2. Gay men cannot do anything sexual with women. Let alone marry them.

3. While adults have access to buy and discard underwear as they please, the gay man must bring home blood-soiled boxers that prove irrefutably that he has lost his anal flower.

4. And gay men address themselves in their sexual affairs as “the man” and “the woman”. God forbid there actually be gay terminologies to describe our sexual preferences.

Did I miss out on any other lessons?

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25 Comments

  1. Colossus
    July 21, 06:02 Reply

    I remember when i lost my anal virginity, there was blood everywhere. It was splashed all over the walls, the floor, every inch of my cloths.
    Awwww, such fond memories.

    • Pink Panther
      July 21, 06:05 Reply

      ???????
      Mine was a horror show. As I was going home from that hookup, the blood kept dribbling down my legs. when I started wearing pampers the next day, I’d always remove it at the end of the day to see a pool of blood inside for about three days.

    • Fred
      July 21, 06:40 Reply

      But Colossus, were you deflowered by Jack the ripper no?
      All these bloods yua shiarin ??

    • Yazz
      July 21, 21:15 Reply

      Me too sef I bled ooo
      Then the man in the relationship took a handkerchief cleaned it and showed my whole village waiting outside
      And they all cheered..
      “He took it like a man”..

  2. Kobe
    July 21, 06:55 Reply

    ? ? You guys … Be sharing blood upandan.

  3. CJ
    July 21, 08:28 Reply

    Me that had to use 5litre bucket to fill my blood. Even at that, it was dripping all over the street as I walked home

  4. trystham
    July 21, 08:45 Reply

    I actually bled. Not by the bucketfuls, but it was uncomfortable. I fell sick and ran from anything dick for a year

    • Yazz
      July 21, 21:10 Reply

      Weren’t you the one that had to also had to travel interstate with all the potholes on the road and a sore anus

  5. Mandy
    July 21, 08:47 Reply

    “Let’s stick to me been the man and you been the woman…”

    ?????? That’s the part that decided it for me. Absolutely NO gay man talks like that. That is straight people nonsense. Even TBs know to use the top-bottom terminology to talk about their roles.

    • Omiete
      July 21, 10:24 Reply

      I read this and was like what kind of unbelievable nonsense!!! But however I met a guy who said lay down on my chest let me feel like the man…. I kid you not.

  6. Mitch
    July 21, 09:26 Reply

    I remember being anally disvirgined.
    I bled so much, I had to be given blood via IV. Four packs of blood oh.

    ???
    Radarada oshi!
    People will just be coming up with bullshit to sell their bias against the LGBT community.

  7. Uzor
    July 21, 09:30 Reply

    She’s asking what to do about HIV and other STDs! She knows how to use airdrop but has absolutely zero knowledge about going to hospitals for tests. I can’t even shout.

  8. Blue
    July 21, 09:32 Reply

    Which one is me being the man and you being the woman. That is so gross ??

  9. BRYAN PETERS
    July 21, 09:40 Reply

    So this is all just a whole lot of BS. I’m trying to figure out the intent behind this. What’s her / their aim? None of it makes sense at all. From the soiled discarded boxers to the soiled hidden bed sheets and the man and woman in the relationship part. Just a whole lot of BS

    • Brown
      July 21, 10:41 Reply

      Ikr.
      Even if there were complications from penetration, the guy can’t be stupid and go back home in that state, besides it doesn’t bleed like that.

    • Pink Panther
      July 21, 11:29 Reply

      My dear, it’s all just to fuel the homophobia against gay people in Nigeria. These people are determined to keep writing a narrative of negative things about gay Nigerians.

  10. Mike
    July 21, 11:20 Reply

    Nigerians being Nigerians. Too many bullshit and too many sorrow package, married women are supposed to associate with. I wonder if people actually know what they are doing in the name of attention, hype, followers or views.
    Dunno, a straight/curious man that has a phobia for anal bleeding, can it be termed as homophobia ?, Cause that post is definitely gonna fester that, but then that might just be the point in the first place.
    Let’s blame the economy, Nigerians are getting desperate to survive, by all means necessary.

  11. Peaches
    July 21, 12:24 Reply

    I too bled. I squirted blood all over the stteets and on cars that drove past me.
    That could have been hemorrhoids. Well even if he is gay, i am sure her petty confusion made him sicker. See why people prefer a man? So that at times like this when they are in tereor they gat pampered and catered for, not thrown into a circus.

  12. Gaia
    July 21, 14:26 Reply

    Apart from the bleeding part, the conversation on that screen shot clearly shows the man is having an affair with another man ni… Why are we all focusing on the woman’s ignorance?

    • Pink Panther
      July 21, 15:18 Reply

      How did it clearly show this? We are not focusing on the ignorance of the woman. We are saying this didn’t happen! Can you say without any doubt that it is not possible that the woman made all this up, orchestrated it all, just to chase online clout and fan the flames of homophobia against gay people?

  13. J
    July 21, 19:41 Reply

    Please don’t believe everything from Joro’s posts. Joro is a psychologist and an entertainer, he creates most of these stories to garner attention, sell his products and promote his career. These days people like entertainment and they want their minds blown… Just that in watering his career, he’s adding more petrol to our fire, this will increase the hate on gay people.

  14. KingBey
    July 22, 05:01 Reply

    It’s very possible to bleed from anal sex. Some people have very sensitive anal insides. Also it’s very easy for a dick to rupture someone’s insides…. especially those with a bid dick. And for running home with his boxers, there’s nothing strange there. It’s his home so it’s only natural for him to feel safe there. Just that he has a nosy wife. I’m sure she’s been suspecting him. À woman especially a wife will turn CIA on you of she has any slight suspicion. She will go any length in her investigation.
    Been there. ???

    This Oga needs to learn how to delete chats especially those with his Man.

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