The Man I Want

The Man I Want

I want my man to be tall and dark and cute and bold

Broad shoulders, hot biceps with 6 packs to go

Nicely carved buttocks, footballer ties and fleshy cabs for support

Just because I want all my friends to be jealous of my favour

*

I want him to chase me around relentlessly for months

Tell the whole world about me on all fronts

Shower me with gifts of attention, fervour and gold

And when I finally say yes, I want him to be the happiest man though

Just because my kind is not easy to come by

*

I want him to take me on a cruise

Candle-lit dinners with more than a few to choose

Roses, porches, red carpets, birthdays to name a few

Private and family vacations as at when due

Just because I am the apple of his eye

*

I want him to kiss me all over.

Give me the head over and over

Penetrate like a gentle lover

Ride like a hungry beaver

Ice cream, edible lingerie and toys to make me quiver

Just because I am his only lover

*

I want his mother to like me

Call me son and pamper me

Take my side when we disagree

Just because I’m her favorite son-in-law-to-be

*

Sadly the man I want I cannot get

The men I like I cannot vet

And love so true I have not met

Just because my country isn’t ready yet

Written by Darlene Sirilo Johnson

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26 Comments

  1. Max 2.1
    March 10, 07:34 Reply

    Sounded like something written by a 12-year old teenage girl.
    Get your head off the clouds and work towards becoming a man people would wanna be with.

    • Eggsy
      March 10, 07:44 Reply

      Some people ain’t got no chill…

    • ikhines
      March 10, 14:00 Reply

      You Stupid baked bean! This is poetry at its best. Near perfect rhyme scheme. Think outside the box. Learn to read and understand. This is far better than all of those insipid articles of yours…

      • Max 2.1
        March 10, 18:15 Reply

        A filthy troll should know when to shut his foodhole.. I bet you ain’t even smart enough to pen down a single piece yourself since you’re always busy spreading your bitterness everywhere.

        Go get another job, cos you’re clearly failing at this trolling thing.

  2. Khaleesi
    March 10, 07:38 Reply

    Did no one else see how beautifully it rhymed? The rhythm is perfect!

  3. bruno
    March 10, 08:45 Reply

    even if this ideal man you want does come along, why would he settle for you? are you gonna be the man he wants too? seem it’s not only your country that isn’t ready for your love, you aren’t ready either.

    love is about embracing another human being with his good bad and ugly, not treating people like a walking checklist of inhuman standards.

    @khaleesi I thought the ryhming and rhythm were all over the place except the straightforward bit with the last verse

  4. Mandy
    March 10, 09:11 Reply

    Even if Nigeria was ready to accept the LGBT, you wouldn’t get such a man. He doesn’t exist for women, na man he go come exist for. Mbanu. You don miss road

    • Delle
      March 10, 10:09 Reply

      Oh Mandy, how pessimistic of you! Lol

  5. spy
    March 10, 09:27 Reply

    Why not write about what you’ll do for the man you want.

  6. Delle
    March 10, 10:08 Reply

    I loved this, not because of the fantasising but the hope it exudes. In all of the verses though, isn’t there anything you’d like to do for him? Anything at all?

  7. Peak
    March 10, 10:18 Reply

    The last four lines brought it in and made for a better appreciation of the entire poem.

    A brother could only dream mate, I totally get you.

    Well done.

  8. Mitch
    March 10, 11:41 Reply

    To get a perfect man, become a perfect man!

  9. jay-kay
    March 10, 12:16 Reply

    Perfect rhyme scheme. I love. I just kove.

  10. Chandler B.
    March 10, 16:36 Reply

    As expected some KDians would carry their pessimism and baseless judgements to this poem.
    “…the rhyming was all over the place…”
    “…written by a 12year old teenage girl with head in the clouds…”
    “…be the man others would wanna be with…’ Bla bla bla
    THIS IS POETRY. A young man’s singing wishful heart. A dream. Not some conditions/criteria he is giving the general public as they attempt to woo him. Just because you are too old to dream or to hope for such a man doesn’t mean you should go clawing at a POEM and the POET!

  11. Kester
    March 10, 17:31 Reply

    Chandler abeg chop kisses. I love your comment. This is the best poetry so far, he tried to rhyme. So it is infantile to dream or hope? *side eyeing max *
    And for all those who feel he didn’t say what he would do for his ideal man don’t y’all know that when you are in love it brings out the best in you? Example max in love is so different from a boy friend less max.
    *gathers my full petticoats and flees “

    • Tiercel de Claron
      March 11, 08:18 Reply

      Max has never been in love,wouldn’t know it if it slaps him in the face

  12. Chizzie
    March 10, 18:08 Reply

    To be honest, the content is silly, and does seem like what a pubescent teen would pen. And I get that poetry doesn’t have to rhyme, but spacing a few incoherent lines every now and then doesn’t qualify as poetry

  13. Candy Man
    March 10, 21:15 Reply

    All I see is a beautiful poem. Just appreciate poetry??

  14. Geeluv
    March 13, 17:35 Reply

    Lolz…… @ Kester. you’re such a clown. Oya na… you for wait for Max.

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