The Viral Story of the Woman who was Married to a Gay Man
By now y’all must have read the viral twitter narrative of Sadiya Lawal who got married to Hamisu in a marriage that suffered because her husband was gay and unable to give her all she expected to have as his wife.
Here’s the story. 
As long as the Nigerian society continues to forge the kind of hate and poison that forces gay men and women to hide, devastation like this will continue to be.
Let LGBT men and women stay true to themselves, and lives won’t be ruined like the ones in this story.
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10 Comments
Rehoboth
March 18, 10:48Blame ONLY the society and not the man. Even in countries with marriage equality, there are still people on the downlow.
Harley Quinn
March 18, 11:07Wtf you mean by ‘blame only the society’.
That man has a huuge part of the blame for this putrid mess.
Dunder
March 18, 11:20Make we talk true. This guy Hamisu is a wicked bastard. An actual PERVERT to be frolicking with his in-law. A man whose brain did not mature with his body. This is what I know about gay people on the down low- you are doing as much harm as those who you allege “forced” you into marriage. You are the deceitful dementor sucking the soul out of another human being who cannot for the life of him/her understand why there is this oddness and lack in the marriage even though you are playing house and doing Mummy and Daddy for the kids. The day (s)he finds out, they’ll feel too betrayed and enraged to keep quiet like the family that plotted with you to wed them. They will want their pound of flesh and any blood that comes along with it. They’ll shout and scream or use that information to become your enslaver.
You don’t think life is hard enough already, share your body, love and life with a homophobe. Try sneaking about someone who shares your bedroom and knows your itinerary. Try being obligated to expose the most intimate parts of your being to a person who’d not just cast the first stone but butcher you alive if they knew you-(and of course, they’ll find out) and tell me how much self respect you have left. Be that wicked person who after popping out the kids is done with the tool (spouse) required till the bills and fees show up.
This Hamisu guy exploited the naiveté of this lady and both him and her own father abused, betrayed and damaged her but of course, let’s only focus on homophobic Nigerians and not acknowledge the wickedness that exists and is excused in our own community as evidenced by this story. Which already ignorant person would this kind of narrative not arm with another excuse to demean us and call for our heads? You couldn’t just get high and give her one round? It’s not like she would know it was terrible and she would have been down for the worst round instead of none at all. Jeez!
baddest
March 18, 12:35This is a fake story until the writer tells us how his husband and father went to secondary school at the same time,does it means that he was already a father while in secondary school.
Even people that live alone will check is the door is locked talk less of a married man that is having sex with his father in law, you guys were so relaxed that you didn’t lock the door,if you lived in a flat,you will be scared that the neighbor will notice that the father in law came during working hours,You both know that wife/daughter’s workplace is not far. If you guys live alone in a compound,let’s say there was no gateman, you didn’t even see your father’s car when you came home,maybe he didn’t have car or a driver or he took uber.
The only people that will believe this story are the same people that believes that bail is free in Nigeria. Since the woman did not hide her name,she can come on TV before I can believe her,I can interview her well until then this is a very entertaining fiction that some shit writers on this blog needs to learn from this writer. Very good pr for the magazine and awareness for ……..
Dunder
March 18, 14:26I also saw that gap but the I thought up North, marriages with very wide age gaps are quite common and also, the guy was going to say anything to get his already malleable wife to keep shut. I doubt that the writer will use her real name and also, think of the social implications for this spinster, her family and her prospects of marriage if she were to go on TV.
It is possible the story is cooked up by someone already bigoted and trying to explain how a person becomes gay while also promoting the propaganda and fanning the flames to justify the hate against gay people by suggesting that people whose sexual orientation makes them betray their daughters’ marital beds.
This is not the first time I’m coming across such unintelligent narratives- in Lekki Wives for instance, the lesbian character was cheating with a younger lady because her husband neglected her and they did some jazz that to get rich. The lesson of the story? People who “practice” lesbianism like law lose their husbands to their house girl- I don’t know how that is a problem. Even in Yoruba movies, the reason lesbianism is worrying someone is because her husband is absent from the bedroom or she suffered a series of heartbreaks from men. If you see the gay male characters, you will just cry.
Whatever the case, fiction or fact, let us not blame the bad actions of the Hamisu and Daddy characters on homophobia- they are responsible for their actions.
trystham
March 18, 15:20In ur rush to sound cynical, u actually missed road and managed to sound like a total douche. Tell us the inherent crime in having ur in-laws call at ur house. Abeg redirect ur anger at the mag and the hashtag.
That said, there are similarities with another one I had heard/read. They always meet in a snack-bar/eatery. And hubby’s friend tried seducing her and snitched on hubby when she refused. Oh, they also worked in diff states. Hubby’s booboo got her her job far away but she caught him when she dropped surprise visit on his head.
I don’t even want to start on the utter stupidity of both man and father-in-law
Black Dynasty
March 19, 15:50I understand that society has it’s pressures and most people will cave. However each individual is responsible for the choices they make and the consequences that will follow.
Involving an innocent woman you do not love and her family into your life to cover up your fears is selfish and cruel(she has a right to be happy with someone who loves her).
I will risk outing myself to prevent my sister, cousins and really close friends from walking into such a disaster.
Nothing under the sun is hidden forever, keep that in mind.
Bee
March 19, 17:34The story is quite ridiculous, and I refuse to believe that humans as stupid as that Hamisu actually still exist, with all the enlightenment everywhere. Also, for over 2 years, she didn’t notice anything or ask any questions??? Is this how formal and dry Nigerian marriages can really be?
Anyway, if it’s real, I’ll blame homophobia (now and forever), but Sadiya’s husband and father-in-law are simply great and mighty.
Löw
March 21, 10:57Dear Magazine, the plot of this storyline weak and unintelligent. Try harder next time
xoxo
March 21, 11:54When I first saw this story, I didn’t believe it, the story is too fictional.. firstly the gap in the age, then we have the stupidity to have sex with ur father inlaw and not lock the doors, thy were so comfortable that when she entered the house and got to the bedroom, they didn’t know, I jump everytime a cockroach moves in the house and sometimes I am alone in the whole building with the gates locked on the inside.. so Abeg lemme hear word..