To All The Boys I’ve Loved
Dear X,
For whatever reason I haven’t been able to comprehend yet, I decided to write you first.
I mean, I don’t miss you – at least not anymore. I do not.
Remember how we met? That evening when you met me up at Sharon’s place for a hookup, a moment of intimacy which you decided to extend into something steady with the “relationship” tag you put on it?
You were sweet. In your way, you were. But you just couldn’t help yourself, could you? You had let trust issues get in the way of something that would have blossomed into a beautiful relationship. I trusted you. I trusted you too much and that was my mistake. I wish you’d told me you just wanted to be fuck-buddies. With a hot body like that and lips stained in blood that you softly bit every time you moaned my name, God knows I would have totally been down with that.
But you lied, saying you wanted a relationship. Why? Did you think that was what I wanted to hear from you? Did you think I’d want to be a boyfriend before agreeing to have steady sex with you?
No one deserves to be lied to. It took a lot to get over the fact that you led me on for two months, started sexting my roommate, later went on to start fucking him, and ended things with me in the third month when your “distraction” had taken over you.
I wasn’t the best lover, but I was damn good enough for you. I can say that now that I’ve sat myself down to properly assess all the shit I took from you.
Like I said at the beginning of my letter, I do not miss you anymore. You were a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Now I know I will never give myself to a man who has not loved himself enough to love me, because he would still not be satisfied, no matter what I do.
I hope you learned your lesson too. I hope you’re loving yourself enough to be honest about what you want to yourself and to any other man you may want to get involved with.
I wish you have the best life.
Love, Olly.
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17 Comments
Seth
April 04, 08:45I needed this to be saltier. It’s bland as hell. Back to the drawing board.
Nathan Bloom
April 04, 13:27well if the writer was writing from a place of serenity & peace, then too much salt would not be needed. innit?
Mandy
April 04, 08:45This is the thing I find especially aggravating about some gay men. The way we abuse the whole idea of relationship eh… Some of us know that what we want is a steady hookup with someone, and instead of simply saying so, you start singing the song about relationship, as if you need the credibility of a relationship to have sex.
And all that lie ends up doing is cause unnecessary hurt.
Guys, it’s okay to just have sex. You don’t have to use “I love you” to cover up for your hoely intentions.
trystham
April 04, 15:53AMEN!!!
I’d rather count bodies than do the whole relationship count. Then again, if they had any sense from the onset, they’d know this
Malik
April 06, 10:56I’d rather count bodies. Lol. Love that. It’s too important to be clear about what you want.
Ray
April 05, 14:05So true… a proud hoe here…
Mitch
April 04, 09:17I’d like to see where this is going
Delle
April 04, 12:42Can the recipient of this letter just raise a hand, I’ve got some questions to ask
Gaia
April 04, 17:18Aproco……
ChubbyLover
April 04, 21:03Move on guy…..this cry me a river remix get as e be.
If it’s not working out….just jog on.
Pink Panther
April 05, 07:06He has moved on. I don’t know how you read this and was not able to see that in the writeup. This is not a “cry me a river” writeup. The writer is simply reminiscing on his past loves. This is just the first entry of a series of letters.
J
April 06, 12:45They have a way of telling something to move on as if it’s nothing. Please becareful of narcissists, they don’t care about anyone, but their selfish interest. A narcissist is not capable of reasoning and empathy. They are actually mad, it’s a serious personality disorder. Their manipulative behavior can drive you nuts and it takes time to recover. Before you let anyone into your space, be very sure of their mental state.
If anyone deceives me and becomes cocky afterwards, I will break his head. Nonsense.
Gblex
April 07, 17:27Amen to that! *flicks hair*
Mike
April 04, 21:21“a man who has not loved himself, enough to love me”. This line is quite simple and embeds the whole truth.
I want to have sex with you duo ?
Olly
April 23, 14:46???
Oh come on!
Astar
April 05, 17:06I will defend this man. His intentions at first maybe pure. But when it’s not working out, especially because you’ve got your eyes somewhere else, make a clean breast of it and move on.
Lanre
April 22, 11:53Sometimes I think the sex feels so good go.them that they feel if they do not hold you down with the ‘relationship’ tag they might lose you so they go on professing what they arent even sure of. Heal baby, heal.