‘What Are You Talking About?’ Wife to Husband Who Came Out To Her
A woman in her mid-30s says she was completely “devastated” when her husband recently told her he was bisexual.
“I stopped dead in my tracks and screamed: ‘What on Earth are you talking about? We have been married for 15 years; we have a mortgage and a dog together!’” the woman recounts in a letter to advice columnist, Just Jane.
Since the blow out, the woman says her husband has been “hiding out in a boutique hotel and insisting that our marriage is dead because he’s been living a lie.”
She continues, “He says he only married me because his family was putting pressure on him to settle down. He and I were working for the same firm when we met. And he knew that I was vulnerable, having just been jilted by my childhood sweetheart.”
A “whirlwind romance” ensued, followed by a “quick wedding,” which the woman now believes “wasn’t anything to do with passion on his part; it was in order to please his elderly parents–and inherit their house and wealth.”
When she started pressuring her husband for children, he refused, saying he was “desperate to keep me all to himself.” But now she knows otherwise: “It was because he is a bisexual man who prefers much younger male and female lovers!”
“Now all of his relatives are dead and he’s living the life he always intended to live,” she continues. “He’s getting off with all sorts of people and painting the whole capital red. He’s nothing but a big. Fat. TART!”
And now, to add insult to injury, she says, “I’ve just had a letter from his solicitor pushing for a divorce.”
“How am I ever going to be able to trust anyone again when I didn’t even see this coming?” she wonders.
In her response, Just Jane gets right down to business.
“Stop beating yourself up about this,” she writes. She agrees that what the husband has done is “cold and calculating,” but encourages the wife let it go.
“How could you possibly have known what was really in his head and his heart? You may have married him, but you’re not a mind reader. What you have to accept now is that you were duped by a very determined, single-minded individual.”
“Use your anger in a good way,” she advises. “Turn your energy around and tell his solicitor that you’re more than happy to facilitate a quickie divorce. Then make a wish list of all the things that you’d like to achieve and go for it.”
“Be honest with family and friends,” she continues. “Tell them that he was not the man you thought you married, [and] take that wisdom with you into your future relationships.”
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18 Comments
shuga chocolata
October 15, 06:47Twas right about time the truth should surface.
Mandy
October 15, 07:36Lol. This reads like the story of a Nigerian MGM. Bow to pressure. Marry wife. Wait some years. Maybe have a couple of kids. Get tired of marriage. Come out to wife. Emotions scatter everywhere. Move out of house. Snatch your freedom back.
ambivalentone
October 15, 08:53Ahhh yes!!! Living life of life. The woman meanwhile (thinks she) cannot. Is now a divorcee, second-hand property, burdened with children that nobody wants to take in/take in and disrespect.
Delle
October 15, 09:50Mandy, you ‘lol-ed’ this post? Yeye!
Shebi you aff seen what you are supporting? Miserable women and broken dignities, thatched hearts and subdued self-esteems.
Kantinuu!
ambivalentone
October 15, 08:34All these anti-MGM/MBM success stories Pinky is sharing???I can’t gloat comfortably because the fence-sitter that he is, he wee suddenly start posting pro-MGM/MBM success stories when my joy is at its peak. Please madam, this Just Jane woman is not doing u good. All that property that ur conniving husband used you to get is YOURS. Get proof of his infidelities and take EVERYTHING. Wreck him. Squeeze him. Make him squeal. Then u can now follow Just Jane’s advice.??
Pink Panther
October 15, 08:36?????? This pikin has killed me.
Delle
October 15, 09:48Lol Ambi! Don’t mind PP o. Don’t mind that boy/man/guy. Give him two weeks, one post by Colossus or Pete would drop in and he’d be behind rubbing his palms together whilst blood and gore is being shared to on-looking spectators…
pete
October 15, 10:45Delle, it’s called a balance of stories. You know, everybody’s story do not follow a definite pattern.
Delle
October 15, 11:09Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes but always the same result…
pete
October 15, 11:20The same result?
Keredim
October 15, 12:26I think he means the “blood and gore” (which he sparks off most times) that occurs when, either side of an MGM story is published.
Colossus
October 15, 21:01Erm, when did you see a post by me?
Keredim
October 16, 00:22??????
Delle
October 15, 09:46She continues, “He says he only married me because his
family was putting pressure on him to settle down. He and I were working for the same firm when we met. And he knew that I was vulnerable, having just been jilted by my
childhood sweetheart.”
Pffts! Exactly what I always say. Live for you! And if you do not in anyway feel like living for yourself is a thing to do, DO NOT drag some other person (who was probably living a swell life and had all planned out before your happening on her) into your perilous state!
Unlike the other coming out story (posted on here some days back), this one is just totally sad. The man is cold-blooded evil. You do not do things like that. Even if you have had no feelings for her, and glad you finally have a way out (like is already a norm for these three-legged mongrels) you can’t just up and throw FIFTEEN years away! Fifteen years of deceit, stark lies and cold bitterness. Such heartless individual!
So many people need to be walking about with broken scalps and burned torsos…
Jide
October 15, 20:59….. And that’s today’s episode on the Dangers of a…. Single storyyyyy!!!
Pankar
October 17, 16:07Humane, very humane Delle.
..so he waited for all his fam to die, then begin to live. Fake.
Kola Gbaski
November 05, 20:05there is no good time to end a relationship with a (nigerian) female. esp if its cos you’re gay. Just betta dont start at all. cos you’re damned if you do you’re damned of you don’t.
i recently dated a girl for 2 years (under pressure) and before we fixed wedding i told her i cant do it. Then and all hell broke loose from both families. Naija is just a marriage prison i swear. Our culture is a trap, and i feel sorry for the women especially cos they are made to feel like they are nothing if they don’t bag a man before 25.
Pink Panther
November 06, 05:04Now THIS story I’d love for you to tell us. 😀