That Article That Asks: ‘You’re Gay… So What?’
This write-up was written by Ifeoluwapo Odedere, and originally published on Bellanaija.com
*
Perhaps one of the most trending things right now is the ‘gay’ phenomenon. Just take three steps in the online world and you’re sure to come across some article, post or news on being gay and other related stories. Even series and movies are not left out, as scripts are being rewritten to include gay characters and contexts. People in influential positions are ‘coming out of the closet’ at rates that make you wonder if being gay is the 21st century equivalent of the cigarette smoking pandemic.
The question that really begs to be asked is: ‘What’s all the hoopla about being gay?’ Why is it attracting unusual, and if I might add, unnecessary media attention?
For one, most people in the gay community have claims akin to those of about-to-be-extinct species – the cry of being persecuted in a society that just isn’t ready for their existence. And I agree, any species at the risk of extinction normally would cry out for help and protection from the predator. What beats me, however, is the turn that this plea for help has morphed into some sort of evangelism, and if you might add, a persecutory movement. Still confused? Let me help you.
The concept of homosexual relations itself isn’t by any means new. It’s been in existence since the beginning of time and for whatever reason, it hasn’t been accepted by those who make up the majority. You see, some products just don’t get accepted by the market no matter how hard the manufacturer tries. As a testimony to its non-acceptance, homosexuality was and is still labeled a punishable crime in many establishments – (Alan Turing’s story readily comes to mind). The fact is if you believe strongly in something the society forbids, there are consequences to face (early Christian missionaries can enlighten you more about this).
The problem, however, arises when societal punishment for a belief includes persecuting or taking the life of the believer as was and is the case in many crude societies. I suppose it was at this point that the 21st Century Gay Movement began – as a campaign for both recognition and the freedom to exercise their human right of choice.
Under the circumstances of persecution, it makes sense to cry for help as I earlier pointed out. However, when the campaign for emancipation transforms into a persecutory tool, then you wonder if the movement isn’t becoming some sort of fanaticism.
This brings me to the next point I’m about to make: we all have different beliefs – it is part of our freedom as human beings – and those beliefs ought to be respected by those with whom we coexist. So it follows that a belief in homosexuality ought to be respected as that person’s belief. Note, the keyword ‘Respect’. I didn’t say approve or endorse. If you neither drink (alcohol) nor smoke but you have a couple of friends who drink and smoke, does that mean you cannot relate with them? No. Does the fact that you relate with them mean that you approve of or endorse smoking? Again the answer is No. You see, the fact that I have accepted someone as who he is doesn’t mean I approve of everything he does. And it is at this point exactly that the Gay Movement is missing it – rather than focus on acceptance and coexistence in the society, the campaign takes it a step further and attempts to shove the whole concept down our throats.
Through various media influences (TV, Soap Operas, Series, PR slants), the gay concept is being touted as the in-thing – like some sort of fashion trend; and at some point you begin to wonder if the whole theory of genetic influences on homosexuality holds water as it seems that people now become gay on purpose in order to belong.
If you speak against being gay (which also is your right as much as it is to be gay), the gay community backed up by the media and influential persons (and countries) immediately descend on you like a pack of wolves – to the extent that those who oppose the gay concept are now afraid of airing their opinions for fear of persecution. It makes me wonder who is at the receiving end of restricting human freedom: the gay or the anti-gay. If in the quest to liberate yourself, you put other people under restrictions, then I wonder if you’re truly fighting for freedom or you’re just being a fanatic.
The truth is nobody has to like you as a gay person if it is against their beliefs. Period. The fact that you’re gay doesn’t change the fact that you’re a human being and it doesn’t make you special in any way. You’re gay. That’s all. It’s just another fact in the universe and you don’t deserve an extra like for that. Nobody owes you an apology for not liking your belief or sexual orientation. They’re simply exercising their freedom of choice… and expression. The only thing they are not allowed to do is persecute, maim or kill you. In which case, that should be the focus of the gay movement.
About author
You might also like
THE BEST MAN
One of the easiest decisions I made when I was getting married was in my choice of a best man. Emma had always been a close family friend and an
THE DAY WHEN WE JUST ARE (A Message About Pride)
You must think gay people do too much, especially with the whole Pride thing. I can see you thinking: We know that they are gay, so there is no need
My Rebound Story
I still remember the first day I met Babangida. It was a sunny day, really hot. If you have ever lived or been to Gwagwalada on a sunny day, then
141 Comments
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 06:06I was going to ignore the kitchen sink who wrote this, but I could not. The fact that you called it a “concept” endorses my position of calling you a kitchen sink.
Then you compared it to cigarrette smoking? *sigh* which means you really are a kitchen sink not to know the difference between sexual orientation and a lifestyle habit.
Its like saying to women; stop shoving the fact that you are a woman in our face! But she is a woman, she did not have a say in deciding whether or not to be a woman and being a woman affects her daily living so you just have to deal.
This piece reeks of ignorance of sexual orientation, can you tell someone “you have brown eyes, I respect you for having brown eyes but I will never endorse your brown eyes”?
Its no use arguing with a kitchen sink anyway, this is why my friend says homophobia is embedded in the DNA of Nigerians!
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 06:10And you know the sad fact? Most Nigerian gay men share this view. I was discussing this piece with a friend, and he was like, Yes, abeg. Gay people need to chill. not everything is about them. Too much noise-making will not do us any good.
And I’m like, Seriously? Did you just reduce LGBT to noisy children in a classroom?
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 06:16I hear this ALL the time and its really sad! At the heart of it is ignorance really, so I try not to bother
Mitch
April 14, 07:02Pinky, you know I always say that stupidity is inherent in humanity. The fact that you’re gay and enlightened doesn’t mean every other gay person out there would be as smart as you (take KD as a life example. The foolishness displayed here can throttle a brother literarily).
That said, its no use arguing with the writer as his/her mind is already set where it is. I don’t have that kinda time to waste.
Comparing a sexual orientation to a lifestyle choice………..smh
chestnut
April 14, 08:00Pinky, does ur view on this article seem a bit…hypocritical to u? Forgive me; maybe I didn’t really understand d article fully (it’s pretty long and I skimmed through in a hurry), but what I got was that in summary, the writer was saying: “gay people have a right to their opinions, and should also allow anti-gay people to have a right to their opinions too,as long as they aren’t maiming or killing anyone”…now this reminds me of a post u typed and put up after the Dolce & Gabbana debacle; the gist of that post was : “people with un-popular opinions on KD should realise that ppl who critisize their opinions,have just as much right to air their views,thus, the critisized parties(aka unpopular opinioners) shouldn’t complain when they are critisized, because it’s just their own way of airing their opinions”.
Isn’t this basically what the writer up there is saying? Once again,forgive me if I’ve misunderstood d article; I really jumped through it in a hurry.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 08:15Chestnut, read the article again and form a not so hurried opinion before you come after me.
Brian Collins
April 14, 06:40With your view, i know my comment is going to get some negative replies, you being a popular slut and all but let us look at it from the view of the struggle of the black man in america (using cigarette smoking as a reference point was actually misguided of her). They were being treated unfairly, were used as slaves, had inferior amenities, had to ride in the back of the bus (i totally love to sit up front, i woulda hated that too), had to use back entrances to major white establishments, were not able to choose their leagers, were generally made to feel like they were not good enough as human beings because of their skin colour. we face many of those things too including being jailed and sometimes even mobbed and killed in some parts of the world. The black man fought this unfairness and eventually won. Would you say there are no white people in this world who still dont hate black people? I think what she is saying is that the fight really should be about ending the unfair treatment we get world over. She may not have said it the right way but she sure made a point.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 06:41When you put it like that, it makes so much sense. 🙂
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 06:42“You being a popular slut and all”
Who was that directed at?
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 06:42Ghen-ghen!
Brian Collins
April 14, 14:47Ehn ehn so I am back. I am studying for exams so you gotta pardon me.
ION see Dennis o. Who else would I be referring to? Everyone here know how freaky you can be when hot twinks Are mentioned. *in Akpos’ voice* kpomkpi.
armenia4ever
April 14, 06:15With today’s identity politics, it seems like just another convenient way to treat someone like shit and then immediately dismiss any blowback as being homophobic.
Alot of the radicals have made the LGBT movement look bad, but then again, that is what generates headline buzz.
Sometimes I wonder if concentrating our identities on what we identify as makes it harder to actually enjoy life and survive the hell that work is for most people each day.
(Note, I’m not gay.)
Thoughtful post though.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 06:17Thanks, Armenia, for that input. First time around the block, i see. 🙂
armenia4ever
April 14, 06:19Yea, you’ve got some really good posts through what I’m browsing through right now.
Keep it up.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 06:21Thanks. 🙂
Brian Collins
April 14, 06:20Gbam. This is very rich. Giving a new light on how activism should be done. Everyone doesn’t have to like us but they shouldnt want to kill us. I think i agree, if we had people accept us for who we are, i dont think we’d be bothered about them hurting us. But because of the way the human mind is,i am certain that the road is a long one. Despite the fight against discrimination against black people, well pretty much against racism, it still exists in the world. Some people just dont wanna accept the idea of equality.
Point to note everyone plus Teflondon – ‘You are gay, dazz all’:
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 06:28You missed his/her point. This article was very derogatory and obnoxious! Its like “you are gay, good for you! Keep out out of my face”. The same way you tell a smoker not to exhale in front of you!
Brian you missed the sarcasm
D-boy
April 14, 07:25but then again i dont enjoy smokers exhaling in my face. do i want to kill and persecute said smoker? No! We need to focus on being able to exist in peace, than trying to get accepted.
chestnut
April 14, 08:10Dennis, let me tell u an inconvenient truth: NOT everybody will accept homosexuality…EVER! It’s not right,yea, but there u have it; it’s reality. So u’re offended when a person says u can be gay but keep it out of his face? U make it sound as though it’s ur right to “put it in his face” even when he doesn’t want u too. Will u force him to accept u? Would u want a homophobe to insist on rubbing his homophobia in ur face,even when asked him not too?(Knowing fully well that his homophobia is kinda written into his DNA).
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 08:28If a heterosexual man is free to talk about who he’s shagging and I talk about my exploits, and then he retorts with ‘I don’t want to hear it. Keep your gay out of my face’, you’re saying there’s justice in that?
Not everyone will accept homosexuality. Of course anyone who lives in this world knows that. But the LGBT movement isn’t about you accepting but about you letting me be who I am with no apology for existing.
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 08:20Chestnut what exactly is “putting it in his face”? Id like you to explain that phrase before we continue!
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 08:26So by living my life and being me I am shoving my homosexuality in their faces? So how do I not shove it (since it annoys them and i am a nice person who doesnt want to annoy them), by disappearing into the shadows and being quiet?
How do black people not shove their blackness into the faces of the racists?
You know what chestnut, do not bother responding. I do not esteem highly gay people who endorse homophobia of any sort!
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 08:30Making any excuse for homophobia as a right of any person is reprehensible. Its just like saying endorsing racism as a right of the white man.
chestnut
April 14, 09:28Nobody is excusing homophobia here; it is despicable,but it is what it is.
@Dennis:” living ur life”, can hardly be described as “rubbing ur sexuality in someone’s face”, unless there are specific aspects u’re talking about. U mentioned ur co-worker rubbing his sexuality in ur face by talking about girls he slept with, and that’s not okay;if u don’t like it, he has no right to assault u with those stories. But have u ever told him u’d rather not hear details of his sex-life? I’m sure if u told him u’re not okay with it,he would stop talking to u about it. You also implied somewhere that we should have a right to talk about our sexuality without raising any eyebrows,if we want to,and I totally agree with that. but do u want to? If u feel dat that dude can talking about his trysts,and so should u, why don’t u try talking about it to them? Who is to say they will definitely react in a negative way?
I’m sorry,but a lot of us here seem to be all talk and little action: “Nobody should tell us to be seen,but not heard,because straight ppl talk (to us) about their sexuality all the time,so we should be able to, too”, but how many ppl here have actually ever tried to talk about their sexual/sexual trysts to,say, their co-workers or classmates? It’s not enough to say “we want to heard.
They should also listen to us too”; have u tried talking to them first,to see if their reaction will even be negative? Or when we say that, are we just refering to gay celebrities and politicians and the public activists and the Bisi Alimis and Kenny Badmuses to do all the talking for us? Pls, I really would like to know how many of us KDians here, who have tried talking about their sexuality and sexual proclivities to heterosexuals, the way we complain that they talk about theirs,to us.
chestnut
April 14, 09:44@Pinky: the LGBT movement is NOT about accepting/acceptance, but IS about letting u be who u are,without any apology for existing? Lol.that sounds like “accepting” to me…what’s d difference? So, “u don’t have to accept my sexuality,but don’t make me apologise for it”? I don’t think those two can be mutually exclusive: someone who doesn’t accept ur sexuality, invariably feels u’re doing somethin wrong (and thus, u should be remorseful and apologetic). U’re inadvertently endorsing the “it’s ok if u’re gay, but I don’t accept” movement.
Not being apologetic for who u are is all on u,boo. A lot of ppl will always want u to be apologetic,but it’s all on u to realise that their opinion shouldn’t matter to u.
trystham
April 14, 16:34@chestnut You really are not being realistic here. He shud just tell his co-worker about his trysts and hook-ups??? In Nigeria??? Unless you know the disposition of whoever u r talking with towards homosexuality, u dare not talk about it. Why? Because it is NOT ACCEPTABLE. I’m not asking u to like me. Like y’all keep saying, not everyone will be liked, but at least allow me to live my life.
Shebi its on here we have ppl who hve supported homosexuality at their work places hated…for only vocally supporting it o, not even caught engaging in it. I do not ask to be treated specially, hell, I wanna be d average joe. And do not forget, LGBTI movement only want to b treated as NORMAL everyday ppl. Which is usually the opposite the minute it is known u r not straight/regular. But the minute u start harrassing me because I talked about the boy I gave the once over, you hav made me special.
Sinnex
April 14, 06:38I guess I am the only one that understands this differently. So, I’d keep my opinion to myself before someone accuses me of having internalized homophobia.
A-non
April 14, 06:41I think the writer got it wrong by comparing a lifestyle to a sexual orientation but I do understand the perspective.
My sexuality as my gender shouldn’t be the only thing people identify me with – ‘She will make a good MD but you know as women dey do when dem get power’ or ‘He’s very intelligent and his ideas are but he is gay’.
Why should my sexuality, religious belief, gender, tribe or ethnic group be the ‘but’ when I am being spoken about?
The writer may not have chosen the right comparisons or used certain words to buttress their point but the message was clear – respect me for me not because I am the boss, Igbo and gay.
Respect me because every human being deserves respect…and if I will disrespect you or you me, it will be entirely based on your actions or inactions or in the way you gave treated me not by my race, gender, sexuality, creed or tribe.
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 06:44He/She lost me when she made that comparism and it invalidated all He/She wrote IMO
A-non
April 14, 06:52But you shouldn’t let it weaken what I think was the crux of the article – your sexuality shouldn’t be all people see, there’s a lot more to you than your sexuality, ditto your race, tribe, family name, gender, religious beliefs and all those other components that make you you.
Allowing someone to just pick on one of it to define the whole of you is the greatest disrespect!
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 06:54But you see, sometimes you don’t even have to do anything. That impression is made whether you like it or not, whether you preach it or not. People hear you’re gay and that instantly colours their perception of you whether you are chanting Gay Rights or not.
A-non
April 14, 07:04Pinky, that’s why I am a believer in small changes when society is concerned.
Shout from today till tomorrow about sexuality, domestic violence, corruption, child abuse…they won’t change overnight.
But with a push here and a prod there, the message sinks in albeit slowly and change when you least expect blossoms from a bud to a flower.
Gad
April 14, 14:38I’m very surprised @ you today, Anon.
Jamie
April 14, 06:47What da fuck was he thinking? Comparing gay sexuality to drinking and smoking??? And calling it a choice? It’s not a choice; it’s a life…
And about freedom of speech, he hasn’t got a job to do or something, cos if he did, he wouldn’t wanna waste his time on homophobia… Why not mind ur bizness? Where is the respect for one’s life if you keep pokenosing and making hateful remarks??? Hateful remarks have been known to spark violence. If he thinks he should talk cos it’s a right, he should go to Sambisa (or anywhere there are terrorists) and talk to its current inhabitants.
What baffles me is, in the midst of all this, he was trying to restrict gays’ freedom of speech and association and ended up telling them to let him blab!!! He needs education, seriously…
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 06:50This is the kind of piece that I’m sure unleashed a stream of vicious bloodthirsty comments on Bellanaija.
A-non
April 14, 06:57Hateful remarks ain’t always based on sexuality.
What do you say about hateful remarks from a boss to a subordinate? From an abusive husband to his wife? From a tribal king to another tribe?
chestnut
April 14, 08:18@jamie: did he though? Try to restrict gay’s freedom of speech and association? I really don’t want to go back and read that article,but what I got from it was more like: “gays,feel free to exercise ur freedom of speech and association, but also expect antigay’s to exercise THEIR freedom of speech and association too”
Gad
April 14, 14:43That’s what I saw in the article too. Well, maybe I didn’t read well.
MacArdry
April 14, 19:58Chestnut,you really have your work cut out for you trying to educate members of the Lickspittle Gang.
Chrissakes,what’s there not to understand in so simple an article?.We now take umbrage at the unfortunate choices s/he used for comparison?.O dikwa egwu
MacArdry
April 14, 20:01Of course,tis Dennis as set the tone so y’all must march in lockstep
Max
April 14, 06:57This was highly provocative, written by an illiterate who thinks he knows anything about homosexuality. The flaw in his nonsensical rambling is that he compares homosexuality with smoking and drinking which are choices and habits. He fails to understand that its not a choice and that fact alone makes all he just wrote above null & void in my eyes.
He can take his opinion about homosexuality, wrap it up and shove it down his own throat, then take it to the grave. Whats his name again?
Will track him down and troll on him online.
Nonsense.. Mtchew…
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 06:58Hahahahahahaa!!! If I were Ifeoluwapo Odedere, and I saw this threat from Max, I’d be very afraid.
Sinnex
April 14, 09:12@PP, I saw what you did there. So you are actually encouraging your minion to “track him down and troll on him online”.
Mitch
April 14, 09:53Uhm Sinnex, the name was already in the article. So your opinion about Pinky sending his “minion” to track the douchebag down is so off the track that no radar in the world can find you!
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 09:57Lmao. Mitch abeg help me out ooo. The rate some people have become quick to making me out to be some kind of villain both surprises and amuses me.
Khaleesi
April 14, 09:56Sinnex, you need to shut your fucking mouth and focus on the issue rather than lurking in the shadows and nipping at Max’s heels, yes this piece of fuckery has earned its author 6 months worth of nightmarish trolling on all his social media accounts…Go Max!!!!
Sinnex
April 14, 14:12@Khalessi, you should learn how to ignore comments not directed at you. I am sure @Max saw it before asking, so, I was replying based on the question asked. Please, I have nothing on you, so, just stop being petty, it doesn’t suit you.
As for you @Mitch I have nothing to say to you than…..YIMU
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 07:07Make that a double idiot
Rapum
April 14, 07:07I saw this post the other day, read the comment section which, even though not great, was way more interesting than this ill-thought blab. There is nothing to agree with here. First, the writer making this sort of argument, that the gay movement should focus on preventing homophobic violence instead of attacking people’s homphobia (which he conveniently called belief) to a Nigerian audience is stupid. What is the gay movement in Nigeria doing presently, if not trying to keep us from getting killed? This is a borrowed conversation, more like what the Nigerian government did: “Look at the US, they’re talking about same-sex marriage, let’s make a legislation.” As if any gay person in Nigeria is talking about marriage. Oh, and he said the mass media as now covered with our gay faces everywhere, huh? Well, I’m yet to see that advert where the guy would wear the perfume and another guy would sniff and roll on white sheets with him. Stupid-stupid.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 07:09LMAO! For some indiscernible reason, I got to the abrupt ending of this comment and burst out laughing.
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 07:14Its funny how we always talk about “not letting yoir sexuality define you” in reference to gay people only, where as straight people shove it in your face everyday. I am eating breakfast with colleagues as I type this and one guy is giving is details about his trysts last night with a girl who has a fat pussy! The rest are amused and laughing and I am the one shoving my sexuality in your face abi? Can I do this thing my coworker is doing ever?
The hypocrisy of this letting your sexuality define you arguement stinks to the high heavens
Rapum
April 14, 07:27Oh, Denis, I’m tired of saying this to gay people. It’s just a result of that phrase we so hate: internalized homophobia. The other stupid thing we say is, “Coming out is unnecessary.” Me, I have little patience for homophobia but absolutely no patience for the internalized one.
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 07:43The people I work with know na, homophobia is not allowed any where near me! They wont even dare when I am around because I will swing in on a wrecking ball and shatter it!
As for internalized homophobia, if you have it well good for you! I can never be friends with you, you will not suck me into that black hole!
Mitch
April 14, 07:34Best thing to do is shove something that he hates up his face too. Lets see if he doesn’t gag.
Straight folks and their annoying tendency to rub their sexuality in your face
Lothario
April 14, 17:22I get all of that and I support you….. But I’m curious, a fat pussy? That sounds like something I want to hear about. Do they come in different sizes?
Jamie
April 14, 07:22Umm…hateful remarks can be given by anyone anywhere… But does that mean it should be promoted? If your boss offers hateful remarks and you know your rights, plus you know where you stand, you can sue them, right???
Abuse is wont to come from those who feel priviledged and powerful…but that’s why we’ve got rights activits-most especially in this case, gay rights’ activists. And that’s exactly what he’s againsts.
The whole journal there is trying to say…” stop fighting for gay rights and respect, let us abuse them the way we want cos they are not as special as you make them. They should exist in a vacuum…”
No!!!
What would have happened if blacks plus some whites had not fought against racism??? Obama might not have been president by now. Derogatory statements are mostly carried by the majority or influencial; and they go a long way to tarnish one’s image. They become stereotypes. They become what ignorant people get to read or listen to…and believe…
I heard of a celebrity who lost a contract which would have brought her immense profit. Because people brought up a gist against her as a husband snatcher. The people in question thought it better than to work with such a subject of controversy person at that point in time even though they believed she was innocent.
Truth is, freedom is never voluntarily given, it is demanded for. We have right to speech, we also have abuse and assault. Noone should be allowed to say foolish, baseless things about people when they can’t prove it as true, and especially if it’s their business and doesn’t affect them in any way… Those things will only promote more homophobia.
Jeova Sanctus Unus
April 15, 05:12You jammed it!
trystham
April 14, 07:26Frankly, all I saw the writer as was being defensive about being homophobic. Someone mentioned blacks finally allowed equal rights and stuff and that wasn’t achieved by blacks continuing to sit on the back seats. Until heteros realise that gay ppl need to be accepted, radicalism is only the way forward. Need to be at the front doing a lot of shovings-down-throats. Until that is done, gay ppl r super special, and deserving of every extra they can get
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 07:40After all Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat and that snowballed into shooting down bus segregation.
She would have said “Let me not shove my blackness in their face” and stood up to go stand at the back na!
Mstchew
Ndi ala
Dimkpa
April 14, 07:29This is an ode to hate disguised as an attempt at being reasonable.
The writer would prefer gay people are seen and not heard like an affliction on the world that has to be tolerated. First she compares gay people to animals making noise as a specie going extinct, then it is a concept, then a belief, even a product! No thought to the fact that we are people going through life in more difficult circumstances because of people like her. The kind of difficulty that has driven many to suicide. She would rather that her perfect world not be disturbed by this gay people. The only concession she yields is that we not be maimed or killed, How kind! But she wouldn’t mind hate speech, persecution in the name of free speech, denial of rights to live and love like anyone else.
Unnecessary media attention according to her stems from the gay characters in movies and TV shows. In other words she would be more comfortable with portrayal of a world where gay people don’t exist.
The comparison to smokers accompanied by the tripe that liking a person doesn’t mean liking everything he does further buttresses the fact she considers being gay subnormal and that anyone that chooses to relate with gays has achieved some level of transcedency. This is condescension if I ever saw one.
I would like to say that propagating hatred is not free speech. It is violation of human rights one of which is a right to live free from persecution no matter one’s sexual orientation. And any antigay speech dressed as logical thought is exactly that, hate speech. It is akin to saying “I don’t like black people, I can relate to them but I don’t have to like the fact they are black” or “I don’t like Jews…” This is the kind of logic that feeds such legislation as the one recently challenged in North Carolina and Arkansas which would authorise people to discriminate against people because of their religion.
I also think it is patronising to say ‘I like the person but not the fact that he is gay’. Being gay is part and parcel of who I am, if you don’t like the gay then you might as well shove your like. I don’t need it. We should be wary of settling for these gestures akin to throwing crumbs to the undeserving.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 07:38Dimkpa! Forever making sense!
Max
April 14, 08:00Million likes Dimkpa
Teflondon
April 14, 09:23Dimkpa
Did I mention I have a crush on you?
That said
I was all about supporting this article and the writer and was really rooting for chestnut in the comments aspect till I came across this point of yours.
Brilliantly said.. You just have a special way of delivering note-worthy points. I’m really looking forward to a post written by you on here soonest.
Sinnex
April 14, 09:25This guy always has the mark of finality in anything he says. Although I have my misgivings about the post, but I think you made nice points.
I also think the OP is a he and not a she.
OAN-It also seems this post struck a nerve in DM, the way he is just arguing and countering opinion is quite alarming. One would think he knows the OP personally.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 10:03Does Dennis have to know the writer to speak passionately about his opinion of the writeup?
Sinnex
April 14, 14:16I am sure he is not the only one that is dislikes what was written…..
Jeova Sanctus Unus
April 15, 05:20Chaa chaa chaa chaa chaa KD kwenu!!
Chaa chaa chaa chaa chaa chaa KD kwenu!!
Chaa chaa chaa chaa chaa chaa chaa chaa KD kwezuonu!!
Dike na dïmpka. Ödï ka-ïsï kwu. Okwu agügö.
Absalom
April 14, 07:49This article is trying to make a case for homophobia to be tolerated – for gay people to be grateful for the crumbs and hand-me-downs.
This article thinks the scope of homophobia is just when you kill and imprison gay people. If that were so would gay people in the US still have need for LGBT activism – after all, no one there bags jail term for being gay.
The person who wrote this has probably never met a gay person in his life, and wants it to stay that way! We can be gay but out of his proper face! Look at his dirty mouth calling being gay a “belief”. Since when?
Gay people are not asking to be treated specially. Gay people only ask to be able to live OPENLY without harassment. And living openly means being gay UNAPOLOGETICALLY – we are not going anywhere. We are asking that anything other people enjoy in society, we shouldn’t be denied those things because of our sexual orientation. We are not asking to be “liked”; we are asking to be treated equally. 100 %.
We are not supposed to spend our entire lives making heterosexuals comfortable. As a bigot, Ifeoluwapo, you should be uncomfortable – you are not normal, you are sick. If you don’t like to see two girls kiss on TV, please grab that TV and smash it to pieces. It’s your right, and your money!
There is NO excuse for homophobia. None. How can you hate and condescend to another human being not because of anything they have done, but simply because they exist? How do you sleep at night with that kind of prejudice?
Jeez.
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 07:52One million likes
But then its Absie Bae
Mitch
April 14, 09:58A billion likes to this Absalom!
QueerMike
April 14, 08:10I am devoted reader of Kito Diaries, though a rare commenter.
“Gay people looks just like…people?”
-J.K Rowlings.
Replace the word “gay” with the word “Negros” and you’ll see how stupid this post reads.
…”The truth is nobody has to like you as a gay person if it is against their beliefs. Period.”
So if a white Man believes that blacks should be enslaved, abused and relegated. He should be applauded for his beliefs???
#AskingForMySanity
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 08:21Chestnut Please answer these questions if you will be so kind
chestnut
April 14, 10:20@Dennis: oh,I will…
@QeerMike: the writer of this article is hardly saying that gay ppl should be “enslaved”, “abused” and “relegated” (at least that’s not what I got from the article), so it’s definitely not the same thing.I think the writer’s general tone was “live and let live” although he/she may have veered off in delivery,in certain places.
A white man who believes black ppl should be enslaved, should definitely not be applauded. But the key-word (in this 21st century)is “believes”, as in,personal/private opinion. Sadly,there will ALWAYS be white ppl who “believe” that blacks should be abused, the important thing is that they have no authorized liberty to execute these private beliefs. It should be enough to stop them from ACTING on their beliefs,but if u want to go a step further by telling him to stop thinking his private thoughts (because no matter the amount of education and information u give a true bigot, he might never change his ideaologies), then u might want to dip ur hand into his brain and reset those private thoughts.
Peak
April 14, 14:43@chestnut the average nigerian has the opinion that northerns are not so different from a cow. The yoruba man thinks an igbo man is an insensitive cold bastard that doesn’t think beyond himself and money. The average igbo man thinks yoruba ppl are distant relatives of pigs and cant stand them and their ngbati-ngbati. Some Christians would spit on the ground at the sight of a praying muslim and utter the word infidels, and dont get me started on what the muslims think of Christians. Forget about racial prejuice and the dichotomy between whites and blacks. The above case studies are views and opinion we face as everyday nigerians. At school, work, bar, communities just to metion but a few. Some of us had these malicious doctrines passed down to us by our parents. And our parents ve always wanted the best for us.
In light of the above argument. Is any of the above opinion by various parties applaudable? Just bcos its a believe held by certain sect, does that make it ok? Its a personal opinion and every person/group is entitles to on, No? I mean our ethnic leaders can easily put forward this view and make it a national issue, No? But its an opinion and our leaders are suppose put our views in the forefront of major issues?
Look! No average man from any ethnic group wants to be treated special in any of the nigerian city they find themselves, all they want, is to be treated like a human being, a nigerian, enjoy equal right like the next man even if they dont share the same ethnic or religious background. Tolerance is all that has ever been asked for. Not total acceptance, just tolerance!
I’m gay so what? Can I just live without being treated like I’m an abortion. (DO U CALL THAT ASKINF FOR TOO MUCH)
Sinnex
April 14, 09:13https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10363887_10204458351317203_2259664216862690806_n.jpg?oh=465b09821a4da849abd3faf253bf5bde&oe=55DA35B2&__gda__=1436630692_9a1bf2c0f57c726e7ebc294943e54ac6
Teflondon
April 14, 09:34“The truth is nobody has to like you as a gay person if it is against their beliefs. Period. The fact that you’re gay doesn’t change the fact that you’re a human being and it doesn’t make you special in any way. You’re gay. That’s all. It’s just another fact in the universe and you don’t deserve an extra like for that.”
Put a gun on my head and I’ll support those statements above any day any time.. I think I’ve made mention of this before here on KD. I still don’t understand our need for special treatment.. All we need is to be treated normally like every other.. Not to seek “special” treatment because of our sexual orientation.
That said..
I’ll stick with Dimpka points on this article.. The article was so brillaintly written (I don’t mean this in a good way) it disguises the enormousity of homophobia the message reeks from.
Mitch
April 14, 10:08You’ll stick with Dimkpa’s points, right? Yet your opinion is radically different from his. Dude, it’s either you’re confused or someting else.
Still on the matter, we do not want to be treated like we are special. We simply want EQUAL treatment like straight folks. If that, in your opinion, is asking for specual treatment, then you really do have a problem
QueerMike
April 14, 09:37*opens link *
Sinnex Is that the idiot???
Ugly ass myopic bigot. utter waste of oxygen.
ptuehhh!!!
Sinnex
April 14, 09:44I think he is cute. He has thick black lips that would be good in playing the trumpet very well.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 09:52I’d say ‘go get him’. But I know virgins will always be virgins.
Max
April 14, 11:52Just opened it. Disgusting black goat with kpomo lips. Its no wonder where he got the black lips from, its obvious he’s been continuously smoking the homophobic opium which most Nigerians are currently on, which made him to have the guts to think of such idiocy and put it in writing.
@Sinnex, its obvious you have a crush on him, since you were ready to get into a cross fire with people just to defend him.
Max
April 14, 12:02Oh and I forgot, try messaging him on fb and know what he thinks. I doubt you’d be alive to tell the tale. It’ll make your warri guy’s story look like child’s play.
Your dick will be cut off and nailed to the wall and your balls will be deep fried and fed to you, right before he throws you off NETCO building(Tallest building in Nigeria).
Deola
April 14, 14:07Max, charlie abeg cool down, thats way way way out of line.
Max
April 14, 14:23@Deola, Me cool down? I can’t remember running temperature.
Sinnex
April 14, 14:47When I say Max has issues, people said I was taking it personal. He is just an overgrown baby that doesn’t need to be taken seriously. I know he had a very disturbed childhood which made him grow up to be filled with so much hate. I really feel pity towards him. He is just like the younger brother I never had.
I also noticed he has issues countering opinions, the best thing he does is just to insult personalities. That is just the characteristic of a coward. I really don’t blame him actually, taking a peep at his childhood, one would grow up to be bitter and to hate the world. Thank God I am not in his shoes.
I am trying to visualize how his everyday life would be like. I wonder if he has any friends. As in real friends, not friends that are close to him because they pity him. Not friends that can’t wait for him to leave the room in order to continue the real discussion.
Max, I really feel for you. Right now, I am teary eyed, I know you suffered alot. I can imagine you sitting outside all alone playing close to the open gutter in front of your house. Since it was a taboo to buy dolls for a guy, you made do with discarded dolls without head.
Max, you wanted to know the person that wrote this piece. You wanted to have a look at the face of the people that could “spew” rubbish. I decided to help you and the house out. Did I do anything wrong by sharing the link? Or because I said the guy has a nice lips, that means I am now crushing on him and I am going to stalk him. LOL…
I still wonder why the goons have not called this guy to order. Guy, what you said is surprising. I no go lie you. It doesn’t even make sense. You just reminded me of a 13 year old boy that was raped by 5 boys. The bitterness in you cannot be quantified. I hope you grow out of your issues.
It is about time you realize that this is not a personal competition. Nobody cares about you. At least I don’t, I came here because I was directed to this blog. I won’t be here if the website that was created by a friend was active. I know you have a sense of entitlement in this blog. You feel like someone is going to take what belongs to you. Guy, I have no personal vendetta against anyone. I did not come here to make friends, neither did I come here to make enemies. I came here to interact and learn. If you feel challenged then you can go to hell for all I care.
Mandy
April 14, 15:23So Sinnex, you know that Max had a very disturbed childhood, huh? All this you ‘know’ without meeting him yet? Interesting. Where was all this intuitive intelligence when you were dealing with your Warri boy? Because that Sinnex was clueless. And this one appears to be clueing in on the existence of someone he hasn’t met.
Sinnex
April 14, 15:33@Mandy, love is blind and foolish. You have to be foolish to fall in love.
You need to try harder than that.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 15:46Abeg. Stop equating foolishness with love. Some of us have been in love. With actual human beings we met and had real things with. So don’t patronise. You weren’t in love. You were in a protracted lust. Love didn’t make you foolish. Your dick did.
Teflondon
April 14, 15:48LOL.
**pips in, draws chair, orders for Champagne and grilled fish**
This is interesting.
Sinnex
April 14, 16:10Na una sabi. This doesn’t change the fact that you people are petty. People share their stories here for others to learn, but what happens in return, you use that same story to attack the Op. Was it not few days ago that I complained about this same issue, now everyone is turning a blind eye because the “goons” are the ones involved.
I am still waiting for you guys to tell me the difference between what Chizzie did and what y’all are doing. Or is it because it was Chizzie-the “outcast” or what.
Something that was shared to the general public over a month ago is still being used against the person. What then is the use of sharing such story?
When I call the admin to order, he’d say I am paranoid.
Besides I also hope you know we are talking about N5000.00 as in Five Thousand Naira. I am not rich, but I know how much I have given strangers. I just felt this was a story that needed to be shared. Nothing stopped me from keeping it to myself, burying it and pretending that it never happened. But, no, I decided to share it and tell my story. Hoping, maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who is equating foolishness with love. Someone who is in love with someone he has not met and had real things with. Someone who isn’t really in love but thinks what he feels is love. Someone who is in protracted lust. Someone who love isn’t about make foolish but maybe his dick.
Teflondon
April 14, 17:38Oh Sinnex your way too emotional.. And it’s showing all over your comments… **gives you 3 hot slaps**
Waky!! Waky!! Darling… Don’t let this people get to you… They all belong in some kind of voodoo group.. Outside KD. Where they all come together, discuss and decide on who to descend on next.. Ignore them or fire back.. Don’t show them any sign of weakness! You are too kind. (Pun intended? Or maybe not. Lol)
Max
April 14, 18:43Someone told me you were a hopeless case and I couldn’t agree more.. If you read and understood what I wrote, you wouldn’t have written what you just did. I just outlined what would happen to you if you messaged the guy you’re defending and told him you’re gay.
But clearly you lack common sense of understanding.
And you keep talking about people using stuff you wrote against you, which is really rich, coming from the dude who does the same.
You’re a Nobody to me, that’s why I haven’t been replying you lately and mostly because my time would rather be spent doing something more productive than replying a dumb witless worm.
You’ve continually proven that your level of comprehension leaves nothing to be desired.
What else did you talk about??
Yeah you mentioned friends and dolls.> Are you this foolish?(that’s a rhetorical question btw)
Listen dude, you’re several shades of disgusting and your mind is more tangled than a mess of hair. Talking to you is like shoving Tef’s ass down my throat( **pukes all over the floor*)
You’re just not worth the headache.
Gad
April 14, 20:35I’m sure no one is shocked or surprised. A goat will always eat grass. Keep exercising your license.
Mitch
April 14, 20:24Chisos!
Max eyaf kee person oh! Brother abeg calm down, some things ain’t worth getting riled up over.
Max
April 15, 06:11And an MGM will always be a bloody hypocrite..
Pete
April 14, 09:58See nothing wrong with the article to warrant some of the comments I’m seeing.
QueerMike
April 14, 10:02Teflondon as a gay man if you call being able to live freely just like every other human being, free from prejudice on the surface of the earth as demanding for “special treatment ” then I have no words to describe the sympathy I feel for you.
Please think properly before you speak.
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 10:09I really need to remind myself yet again that people are entitled to whatever rubbish they believe hence spew! As disappointing as some comments today have been, people should be entitled to their crap!
I will take a breather, no need flogging a dead horse!
Who wants to go to jevinik this afternoon?
chestnut
April 14, 10:29Here’s the thing Dennis: u call someone’s opinion “rubbish” and a “spew”…did d ppl that disagreed with u,call ur opinion “rubbish”? We have to learn to be more respectful of ppl’s comments here,really. U can disagree with ppl in a respectful, non-arrogant manner, without basically saying “u’re stupid and brainless because u don’t see things the way I see things”. U’re basically implying that everyone who has said something u don’t want to hear,is of inferior mentality and understanding.
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 10:49Chestnut I respect you so let me clarify what i meant; The article is rubbish and the person who wrote it is spewing rubbish. I am also disappointed by some comments I am reading.
This was what I meant IMO, it is afterall my opinion and arent you the champion of expressing opinions? So what are you going on about?
chestnut
April 14, 11:17Yes dennis, I’m d champion of expressing ur opinion…once u can do it without a blant disrespect of other people’s opinion. I always express my opinion,but I try to do it without any disrespect. When I advocate for everyone to have their own opinion, I don’t mean that one can show outright disrespect and then say “it’s my opinion,afterall”. I’m not trying to pick a fight with u dear; u might say that I don’t call out other people when they use d same derogatory words, but u’re different…
Dennis Macaulay
April 14, 12:16Ofcourse I am wondering why you are responding to me specifically even though people say horrible things here and you dont call them out, but I digress.
I still maintain that the writer of this article is spewing rubbish. Also let me clarify that while we champion expression of opinions there is such a thing as a wrong opinion;
Racists believe their opinions are correct
Boko Haram expresses opinions which they believe are right
IS expresses opinions which they believe are right!
KKK et al
I can go on and on!
You see there is such a thing as a wrong opinion
Jeova Sanctus Unus
April 15, 06:03I just realized I’m mostly just responding to your comments/opinions…
In as much as I may not be a fan of how DM laid out his opinion about the article (he called it how he saw it) …half-truths are worse.
Now, someone giving me a silly opinion about my life is an insult to me. I don’t care how much icing you used to hide your insult.
A lot more people see racial derogatory comments as insults than those of sexuality/gender. I wonder why.
You’d make a nice interlocutor.
Brian Collins
April 14, 21:43Dennis will not wait till i am in PH before he starts asking who want to have lunch at Jevinik.
King Mufasa
April 14, 10:58I couldn’t bring myself to finish reading this piece of crap.
Nobody should tell me not to shove my homosexuality down their throats… when I have to contend daily with heterosexual shit, watching straight couples kiss and act all lovey dovey in public but I can’t have the same thing (trust me, no matter where you are) you’ll still get a few awkward stares, till the day when I can display my love in public and have the same rights heterosexual couples have, I’ll continue to shove it down your throats in whatever subtle means I can get away with now.
Absalom
April 14, 12:14ChestNUT, dear. 🙂 Hmm…
You realise your comment about us being “all talk and no action” was cynical and insensitive, right? It hit below the belt. Was that your intention?
You know what the Nigerian environment is like for non-heterosexual persons yet you taunt us with that, basically saying we are spineless – like you are neither gay nor Nigerian? I’m really confused about that line. So what do you want us to do now? Go out there and tell everyone we know about our boyfriends and who we shagged last week etc, just like that? We should risk our lives and property to, what, prove to you that we mean business when we call out homophobia for what it is? That easy now?
It seems to me you just pissed on what struggling in the closet entails for most of us.
You probably do not believe change is possible and that’s understandable. I, for one, am not holding my breath for Nigeria to come around in my lifetime as regards LGBT rights, and I’ve made peace with that in my own way. But if everyone said what you said up there, how then is the change supposed to happen, even in 500 years?
chestnut
April 14, 18:25Absie dear, forgive me,but maybe I’m tired of verbal outrage, if it won’t come with any actions. When I suggested that ppl should go and start telling straight coworkers and schoolmates about their sex-life, I was kinda trying to use sarcasm to make a point. Of course we all know in Nigeria,we can’t talk about our sexual trysts to straight ppl, yet we consistently come on KD to say :”straight ppl have no right to tell me they don’t want to hear details of my sexuality, because they assault me with details of theirs.they must listen to our own tales,just as we listen to theirs”. But how can they listen to something u haven’t even said? Are they supposed to telepathically go into ur mind and draw out ur thoughts? I dunno,maybe I don’t have d right words to express my point…
It’s very,very VERY unfair that we can’t talk about our sexuality the way straight ppl can, but it’s the sad reality we live in;not much ranting and outrage on KD can change that.Since we know it’s unacceptable for us to talk about our sexuality, why do we still come on KD to say: “straight ppl MUST listen to details of our sexuality,because we listen to theirs”?
Jeova Sanctus Unus
April 15, 06:13You’ve constantly forgotten about the ‘uality’ part of sexuality. I hardly discuss my sex life with gay people. 90% of straight people i know don’t discuss who they fuck.
Ain’t no one giving a fuck about talking some silly sex nor listening to it. Porn, you care??
I wanna call out to my boyfriend “Baby! You forgot your keys”. Hold hands. Hold his waist. Kiss him. Peck him. Take him to dinner. Introduce him as “Jeova, my boyfriend.”
And for those who wish to get married, marry the man of their dreams.
I want to be human. I don’t know if you do.
Ace
April 14, 12:16Thank You! That’s all I kept saying. Which freedom or overexposure is this UWO ( Unidentified Writing Object) talking about? In which country? Nigeria? Ah! Please give it a copy of the Nigerian constitution to read.
Diablo
April 14, 12:24I completely agree with the author and its refreshing to see things from a minority perspective that is different. Just because we are gay, doesn’t give us bonus likeability points. One’s sexual orientation should not be the focus point abt them or enough reason to get along with them or dislike them. if we want equal rights as straights, we should also be expected to be treated same. we do not like our straight friends because they have sex with members of the opposite sex, we like them because of their personality. its not imperative that we approve of anyone’s lifestyle, the highest we can do is give them the due respect that is accorded to every human; and that’s precisely what the writer means. Yes u are gay, so what ? Yes, you’re an atheist, no biggie!. At the end of the day we are all human, what matters is most are the lives we touvh while on earth and the legacy we leave behind.
Teflondon
April 14, 13:17Diablo.. Thanks for clarifying my point on the need or lack thereof for “special treatment”
It’s sad some did not get were I was coming from.. There is this recent crave that we are entitled to be liked. Pls such notions should be out rightly removed. It’s not an entitlement.. Yes! We can seek for acceptance but don’t go Maoning around just Cuz you aren’t liked. At the end we are just humans like every other.. And other humans are entitled to like us or not.. It’s not a most they must like us.. But we should just be treated equally. Im sure there are very few or even none in existence that will tell me he likes ALL kinds of human beings. (Which includes their beliefs, ideology, values etc)
So if someone chooses not to like us? So what? We are just another being.. But that shouldn’t give any one the avenue to maltreat us. We should be treated normally, equally.. But not specially.
Deola
April 14, 14:22‘Dont go moaning around just because you aren’t liked’
***sigh*** so much irony.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 14:27Hahahahaa. Caught on to that one, did you?
Mitch
April 14, 15:52Deola, I thought I was the only one who saw that. I just had to laugh out loud!
Irony of life!
Chris
April 17, 04:41i dont want to be liked or dislike based on my sexuality, hell no, just focus on my personality and the content of my character, shikena.
Peak
April 14, 14:06@ Diablo,Actually the title and its content are not the same. If it were the same, I’m sure the response we are seeing here would be a positive one. I dont want to be treated specially, personally I dont think its necessary to come out to the world (my opinion) but that hasn’t stopped me from applauding those who do or did. The article is just a good old backhand compliment. ” you are gay, so what? Just Keep it out of my face.and join the rest to suffer what comes with being gay” that all I read.
Diablo
April 14, 18:07The author is being diplomatic and IMO, fair enough. Gays make up the minority as far as society is concerned and this will always be the case. We shouldnt expect society to fully embrace us; neither should we force propaganda down their throats as foreign media is doing at the moment. He’d rather our Gay Rights Movement be channeled more on the lines of society’s indifference towards our orientation rather than full on embrace. That way its a win win for both parties. Its diplomacy at the end of the day. I’d rather society accepts me for my personality and what not, than for my sexual orientation. The author meant no harm . Again IMO
Chris
April 17, 04:44pls help a bro, IMO?
Peak
April 14, 12:32How do u refer to a group of people as a species on the verge of extinction in the beginning of ur article, like u are trying too hard to distant urself from that kind and end up regarding them as “people” but quick to add that they are not “special”? I would like to find a better word to sum up the article and its writer, but confused is the only word that comes to mind. Lets make an attempt at flawing his/her reasoning.
Homosexuality is not going into extinction. Not now no anytime soon. If u doubt it, just ask noah and the great flood or read up on the big bad gay city called sodom and Gomorrah from the holy book. If science is ur thing, then the whole ice age should help to a certain degree. I use to think I and possibly a handful of other ppl were different until not too recently.
About the media propaganda to shove gay content down people’s throat? We ve dealt with that matter endlessly here. I had hetero content fed to me all my life and here we are. The big question is why is the writer so bothered by gay content if they are so confortable in their skin/sexuality? Since the word “choice” came up, then u are at liberty to decide or choose what u want to see or expose urself to. The series or movie has gay content? Find one that doesnt. The media is a tool for disseminating information. Ignorance has been fingered as the major contributor of homophobia. How best the u correct the lopside than to provided these information? Calling an attemp to educate u (which is not by force though) as “shoving down ur throat” speaks volumes of ur level of open mindedness and williness to learn.
Just yesterday, some of us were discussing on the need for visibility. We might not be brave enough to do it ourselve, but we and the homophobes can collectively acknowledge that there is some form of visibility. Visbility helps others find solace that theycare not alone, visibilty tell the world the we are not creatures of the underworld, or articles for grabbing headlines or a topic u bring up when u are the mood to tell rude jokes.
The writer made metion of the early Christian. They never had it easy, we are not having it easy and the fact that both struggles were placed side by side it was indirectly established that gay people are being subjected inhumane and unfair treatments like the early Christians for daring to be different.
Comparing someones life and struggle with mere habits shows how little the writer knows about LGBTQ issues. No one pops out of their mothers womb liking alcohol or a puff. And are my eyes deceiving me when I read that being gay is trendy and treated like its the new cool or fashionable.
Everybody is entitled their opinion, but when such opinion is bordering on the wellbeing of someone else then you need to check ueself. Is it ok to say islam is an extremist religion? Is it ok to say women are dumb and brains the size of a peanut? Its ok when u ve an opinion and willing to express it in safe but familiar territory, lets say ur close friends or that colleague u ve a great relationship with. But when u fail to apply this rulw like D&G, like we do on kD, then expect a backlash. A lot of world leaders ve unflattering opinions about US, but do u hear them? There is a thing called public relations. As long as u ve need or urge to relate and interact with other ppl, then some of ur opinions needs censoring.
All the article was deliver 2 opposing views that leaves the auduence wondering what the exact message is.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 13:31Bless you, Peak. You summed up what was on my mind.
Gad
April 14, 12:33Do we still have people with large hearts like this writer? This is the article we as gay people need to write on our hearts by reading them daily like a creed. It captures the mistakes,illusions,fears,hopes,fanaticisms and if you like the hypocrisy of the gay rights movements and gays. You want right to self expression but you can’t stand the thought of same for another. The religious sees the irreligious as doomed while the later sees the religious as idiots(religidiots,religitards). I hope this won’t be treated like just another article because we all need to look inwards. I’m not unmindful of the fact though, that there are people whose nature is simply not to tolerate or to attack opposing views. Somehow, we will all manage to co-habit peacefully. Its an indictment that someone as young as James keeps advocating tolerance while the rest of us(sorry a few actually) keeps looking for satisfaction in “tearing” others.
Max
April 14, 12:52“This is the article we as gay people need to write on our hearts by reading them daily like a creed”
I’d rather choke on my puke than do that..
I didn’t expect anything less from you. Carry on.
Teflondon
April 14, 13:24Gad maybe I do not agree with all your points but I do get were you are coming from.. I was baffled by the way.. Other peoples opinions earlier were discarded like some blood soaked woman pad.. You can make your points without having to disrespect others.. It’s sad what I keep seeing the ‘Beloved ones’ do on here.. It’s very sad I must admit.
Max
April 14, 12:36@Chestnut, it took great sense of will not to reply all your comments. I have so many things I wanna say to you, but I wont. None of them are nice. Just know there’s something known as “right’ and ” wrong ” opinion.
Nice day.
chalantx
April 14, 12:41Exactly, as a nigerian myself, the gay community enjoys playing the victim card, its kinda annoying when the gays victimize themselves instead of leaving it to the remaining ninety person of the population to do the scolding. Fine the society doesnt approve, doesnt mean i get to see myself in the same inferior light as the see me, that condescending attitude the society pose is nothing compared to the light the gay community see themselves in. Its more or less an insecurity issue within the gay community “i need you to make me feel better and good about myself”.
Max
April 14, 12:54Are you sure you and I read the same article? Where’s all that coming from? Internalized rage?
Deola
April 14, 14:18The gay community enjoys playing the victim?? Well excuse me but ummm we are the victim here, except you see the law that was passed as fair then, that would require a different argument.
No one is asking for special rights here, we are simply saying give us the same rights you give everyone else, not only is it the right thing to do, its the human thing to do.
This article is soaked in so much homophobia feigned as tolerance and the gays in this country are so desperate for anything that they would accept the bread crumbs this guy is offering, if deep in ur heart you think this article promotes equal rights then you should probably read it again.
As for the media being pro gay? Maybe the writer is from the US, but eh the media in Nigeria is anything but. If anything this writer is talking about how well homosexuality is perceived in other countries and his fear of the same thing happening here.
MacArdry
April 14, 20:32Let me ask you something,Deola.You all keep yapping about the SSMPA as if it’s Armageddon,I got wondering.Since this law was passed n assented to two years ago,has anyone been arrested,charged and prosecuted/persecuted under any of its provisions?.Any example of such you will like to share?.
Deola
April 15, 05:58@MacArdry so its until someone is persecuted that we should start yapping abi?
Are you sure we are living in the same country tho? I may not know anyone who has been charged but I know more than enough people who have been taken advantage of because of it.
Whats unfair and unjust is just that, and i dont have to wait for someone to be persecuted to say it, maybe you do, but i dont.
The fact that you speak about a law that makes me and a lot of other people criminals simply by existing so lackadaisically is nothing short of baffling.
Peak
April 14, 15:28Oh me Deeh.!!!!!
We are so desperate that we would settle for anything.lol I know I would. I wasn’t even asking for the right to PDAs before the enactment of the 14year thing. A lot if gay naija men were just happy in their little dark corners then the whole 14year made ppl aware and launched a witch hunt. And u say say the article is about live and lets live?
Teflondon
April 14, 13:30Keredim69
I’m taking notes of your subtle digs.. In time, I’ll reply you. For someone that stays overs and I’ve even exchanged a few mails with.. I’m quite disappointed.. But for now, I’ll keep watching you.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 13:36*trying really REALLY hard not to roll my eyes*
Deola
April 14, 14:38There was a recent episode of the good wife that dealt with an issue close to this…a gay couple goes to nakery and ask the baker to bake them a cake, the baker refuses and sights her religious beliefs as a reason for her refusal, is she right or wrong.
The episodes did a good job of throwing valid points for both sides and i even found myself agreeing with some of the points made against the gay couple, in the end, something was said and stuck with me, ‘refusing that service based on their sexual orientation even though its ur religious belief and ur right to such beliefs is a pretext to discrimination’.
Thats what this article does, its his right to believe whatever he wants but it doesn’t make his beliefs any less discriminatory.
Sinnex
April 14, 14:55Stays over?
Exchange mails?
Tell me something I don’t know.
pinkpanthertb
April 14, 15:04We won’t tell you because the little you’ve said didn’t make much sense.
Jeova Sanctus Unus
April 15, 04:44@Chestnut – Someone talking about their sexcapades isn’t someone “putting their sexuality in my face”. They are just talking about their sex lives.
Until everyone sees homosexuality (et al) no different than heterosexuality, the fight must wage on.
The OP doesn’t have issues with heterosexuals in every realm of live. Kissing in hotel lobbies; Sports stadia; hospital waiting rooms; flights; bus terminal; carnivals; churches; cinemas… But of course, they aren’t putting their fucking sexuality in my face.
Gender equality: Feminists are prosecuting everyone who doesn’t support their agenda!! Oh god! They’re corrupting our kids!! Suddenly my 4yr old son doesn’t beat up the girls in his class no more!! They made him a sissy!! Respect my right to disrespect a woman!!
Racial Equality:Black people are trying to take over the world. They want to annihilate the White race!! It has been MLK’s ambition!! Send them back to Africa!! They should be happy we brought them here – and fed them.
Religious Equality: They’re trying islamize the world!! Them Hindus are disgusting, so much garlic!! We can’t allow them teach our kids their barbaric faith!! Be christian or be dead!!
1: No one is persecuting any one against gay rights. We don’t got no time for that.
2: No one has the right to refuse a gay that which a straight person isn’t refused. Heck! Unless you’re asking me out, my sexuality shouldn’t be mentioned. Did you read the news about the straight senator at the straight wedding of his sister? Or the straight artist that performed?
3: There’s always been gay people everywhere. The new exposure is for those who doubt the existence and for the accidental ignorant. The bigots already have their bigotry going for them.
The OP fails to understand that every generation’s struggle isn’t for them but for those who come after them.
***US M/E Drone strikes!***
Arabs/HRO’s: You’re killing innocent locals.
The World: Oh shut up! They shouldn’t be living so close to the militants. It’s a war, casualties they are.
Say what you want, I’m gonna employ every weapon in my arsenal until I yank the “got” outta ya shit and leave you bi. Bye sucker!!
Hello goose, pander here.
Jeova Sanctus Unus
April 15, 05:08Googol idiot, perhaps.
Jeova Sanctus Unus
April 15, 05:40Dear Chestnut,
Do you know of the various international legislations against discrimination? Do you know what they actually mean?
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOU IT, that’s what they mean. Saying you will kill the president is enough grounds for an arrest. Saying you’d like to burn a bus filled with Blacks is something you can be arrested for.
Scientists were killed for years just because of their opinions. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews…were killed because of their opinions.
The truth is that we can’t persecute opinions that’s why we let them slide.
**In the case you are ignorant, the Nigerian anti-gay law actually criminalized your opinion. Your parents can be sent to jail for 10 years because (in their opinion), sexuality is diverse.
Dimkpa
April 15, 07:14I returned today to see the interest generated by this article. And honestly what saddened me is not the fact that a bigot aired his views but that some people who call themselves gay agreed with him. Someone calls you a product that can’t be accepted, says society is not ready for your existence (in other words you all should go and die), compares your life to a bad choice people make and concedes to you the right to cry only when your life is in danger and you agree with him! He asks that you do not disturb his ‘right’ to speak out against your existence with all the usual insults and you are sympathetic to his plight.
Do we have such low self esteem? Have we actually bought the lies told about us and made them our own. We ask that society accepts us but the truth is we haven’t accepted ourselves and till we do that, nothing is going to change.
Who says gay people ask for special treatment? Is asking to be treated like everyone else now special?
If a straight couple can walk down the street holding hands and not have expletives hurled at them, then acouple should be able to do the same without having ‘Faggot!’ yelled at them. If a straight person can talk to his friends about his sexual escapades then we should be able to do the same. If a straight couple can marry and declare to the whole world ‘This is the person I’m going to have sex with for the rest of my life’, then we should be able to do the same. If a straight couple can indulge in their romantic ideals and proclivities without fear of going to jail, then we should be able to do the same. If straight sex is shown on TV without anyone complaining then gay sex should also be shown and people should accept it as well.
Equality is not special treatment nor should it be considered forcing anything down anyone’s throat. And the fact that some of us don’t understand that is disheartening.
Max
April 15, 07:40Thanks once again Dimkpa..
all I wanna be able to do is walk down the street holding hands with the love of my life, without having people say I’m shoving my sexuality in their face. Talk about my love life with people without getting a repulsive look.. Etc.
Those things which they naturally have the right to do, I wanna be able to do it too.
MacArdry
April 15, 11:58I wasn’t being lackadaisical about it,just saying we should quit shouting the sky is falling cos of it.It’s a no-brainer the law was made to counter the ill-will generated by the fuel subsidy debacle,it’s non-justiciable,just politics.A wide reading of section 42(1) by any court will render the whole law null n void,not worth the paper it’s written on.