HIS KITO STORY (EDITION 6)

HIS KITO STORY (EDITION 6)

It was sometime towards the end of May, 2013. My birthday was a few days away. I was home, done with school, awaiting the next stage of my life with the commencement of my NYSC posting, and thoroughly bored.

I decided to reactivate my manjam account, just to see what was going in there. I’d been off the site for quite some time, because of the horrid stories I’d heard about dubious characters who set up gay guys who are essentially good people merely looking for hook-ups.

Hello, Sam here, would love to be your friend.

The message dropped in a few minutes after I reactivated my account. As was my routine, I went through his profile. He seemed like a cool guy, from the stuff he wrote about himself on his profile. You know, in manjam, unlike Badoo (where there are full-faced photos), you rely more on the profile write-up and provocative profile pictures to access a potential hook-up’s desirability. So I responded. And we exchanged numbers after a brief chat there on the dating site. We started talking over the phone; he said he wasn’t on BBM. He called frequently, and we had lengthy conversations during these calls. And he never once urged me to visit him. My birthday came and passed, and he called to wish me well. He was actually very sweet over the phone.

And so, a few days after my birthday, I decided it was time for us to get together. He seemed cool to me, and in no way had he made me feel any foreboding over our hook-up. I wanted to go see him. He was pleased about it. On the day we agreed upon, I got dressed in a pair of jeans, t-shirt and a pair of nice, designer palm slippers I got myself for my birthday. Reacting to a hunch, I decided to drop my Blackberry at home, and go on with a simple Nokia phone. What could possibly go wrong? Oh yes, my wallet… I decided to leave that at home as well, because it had in it my ‘to go with’ money for my imminent stay at the NYSC orientation camp.

When I got to the junction that led to his street, I rang Sam up.

“I’m close by, will get to you in a few.” I remember him say from the other end.

He came soon, and – Dayum! – he was fine. We chatted for a while, before we got on an okada and were transported to his supposed house.  As we strolled toward the building, he asked me other questions about myself; driven more by my natural reserve than any distrust for him, I lied in response to his questions about me and my family.

We soon got to the unfenced compound. The house was a sprawling bungalow of apartments, neat and simple. There was a middle-aged man spread out on a mat in the passageway; we greeted him as we passed. He grunted a greeting back.

Then Sam led me into his room; lounging inside was a lankily-built guy who he introduced as his friend. I exchanged greetings with this friend, before he got up and walked out of the room. Sam offered to get me drinks, but I politely declined, using the excuse that I’d had something before coming.

There was no light, so he told me he’d be stepping out for a bit to turn on the generator. In the passageway, I heard the middle-aged man ask him in Bini dialect not to turn on the generator. The man grumbled that there wouldn’t be enough fuel for the evening if the generator was turned on now. I heard Sam assure him that he would re-fuel the generator for use in the evening time. And then I heard movements that indicated the man was moving his siesta from the passageway into his room, in order not to be disturbed too much by the intrusion of the generator’s noise.

For some reason, I started to feel uneasy in that moment. I couldn’t explain it; a small voice in my head urged me to get up and leave. I was still contemplating what to do when the door of the room was thrown open, and three fierce-looking walked in. My heart jumped up my throat as I took in the nasty expressions on their faces; they were all well-built, and one of them was really an ugly mo’fucker. Sam had vanished. And I knew I was in trouble.

They turned on the CD player, dialing up the volume of the music playing to drown out whatever noise would come from whatever they had planned for me. There was after all an adult in the premises. They commanded me to pull off my shirt. When I refused, with my heart pounding away, one of them hefted a bottle from somewhere in the room and smashed the base on the ground, causing it to splinter. Then he waved the jagged edge threateningly at me. I stared at them, feeling my fear squeeze my heart; it felt as though I was in the middle of a nightmare. And my fear rendered me breathless; I suddenly found myself struggling to breathe.

As my breathing rattled audibly inside my nose, one of them, who had the kind of familiar looks that made me think he was related to Sam, quickly asked them not to hit me. He looked alarmed, and stared warily at me. I realized he thought I was having an asthmatic episode. He looked educated, certainly more enlightened than the other two, hence his caution. So I milked my struggle to breathe, and turned it into quite the performance. I was gasping and panting and choking on my respiration. Majid Michel would have been intimidated by my acting skills.

They insisted that I empty my pockets. Somewhere in my mind, I allowed myself to feel a huge wave of relief at my wisdom in leaving my Blackberry and wallet at home. What would I have told my sister who gave me the phone as a graduation present?

They asked if I had anyone who could bail me out of my dire situation, and I sobbed out a story about how I was this poor young man living at the mercy of his evil stepmother (the exact story I’d been feeding Sam since the getting-to-know-you period of our . . . I want to call it friendship?) Anyway, they believed me, seeing as they’d probably already heard the story before, from Sam. The ugly one was so keen on hitting me, he even shoved me roughly around a few times. And as I begged for their mercy, I turned my pleas into a wail. Boy, did I wail – in that high pitched voice that the late Whitney would have heard and snapped, “Shut up, bitch!” At this point, they started to look really worried that the middle-aged man who was rooms away might hear me, and so they hustled me out of the room, and the building.

Of course, I didn’t leave with my new palm slippers. They handed me a pair of sorry-looking bathroom slippers to wear out. They didn’t leave my side as we trooped outside, and so I knew that even though their bust had turned out to be a disappointment, they would soon think up a Plan B. I didn’t wait to find out. The moment I had a clear path, I sprinted away from them and was off in a run like Regina Askia in that old Nollywood movie, Full Moon. I heard shouts and the rush of feet behind me, but I didn’t stop. I am a runner, and run I did. Soon, I hopped on the closest okada I saw and urged him to ride off without bargaining.

That is the narration of my close brush with a kito affair. Thinking of it all now, I just thank God it wasn’t more than that.

Written by Tickles, @mirage234

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26 Comments

  1. Fitzgerald
    July 25, 10:08 Reply

    Lol… that was a close one tho. You’re really lucky it wasn’t too bad. I just truly await the day this nation will come to accept the fact that there are gay and bisexual men in this country and that will never change. I thank God that this Kito stuff has never happened to me, and I use the Holy Ghost’s malignant fire and brimstone to devour anybody who will try such with me, in advance.

    • Yomi
      July 25, 11:46 Reply

      AMEN!!! Bros, the name of your church??? loooool
      I was so nervous as the story progressed. Kito stories have always had that heart racing, body shivering effect on me. Such an anti-clmax. Me wey don dey think say blood go flow. I’m happy that you listened to that Still small voice though.

  2. simba
    July 25, 10:19 Reply

    My dear thank ur parents and friends 4 rearing u well. U smart, unfortunately some of us flaunts our parents wealth even mirage and perceived wealths. Imagine what u would have passed thru if u had gone loaded up or fed him lies abt any fortune. Thanks to God ur safe. Lastly did the guy try reaching to u post incidence

  3. Absalom
    July 25, 10:29 Reply

    You’re smart. You’re quick. You’re funny. I’m glad you escaped.

    So like Simba asked did the bastard contact you afterwards?

    • earl
      July 25, 16:18 Reply

      Azzin… Contact you for part 2…yh?

      • Absalom
        July 25, 16:31 Reply

        LOL, Earl. NO! I’m just curious…how the guy seemed all legit only to turn out a beast… Anyway I like to keep my assassination targets close.

  4. Khaleesi
    July 25, 11:00 Reply

    I shudder when i think of all the hookups i’ve gone on in the past, even a few times when my 6th sense urged me to exercise caution. Luckily, i’ve never had any such ugly experience. I am always extremely suspicious and these days, due to a busier schedule and the fact that i feel i’ve outgrown the phase of random hookups, I dont ever bother with them anymore,Like i always say, recommendations via trusted friends seems to be the best way to meet up with guys. Internet dating sites are too full of risk in Nigeria, i strongly advice against them, as i’ve heard too many ugly stories. Even if you must hook up on an internet dating site, spend time to get to know your potential shag, meet him a few times in a public place b4 you venture into his or your private domain, and … always trust that 6th sense, its there for a reason! Its better to look ridiculous and miss a potential shag then to throw caution to the winds and reap regrets.
    Smart of you to have left your valuables at home! very smart move!

    • Yomi
      July 25, 11:51 Reply

      Hian!!! With the way ppl hold contacts to their chest, e go hard to find references o. Besides wasn’t it on here someone was involved in a kito with a trusted friend’s reference? JUST BEING CAREFUL is just the word and I agree with every other thing you have said.

      • mirage
        July 25, 17:51 Reply

        You won’t kill me with laugh,true word at the way peeps hold contacts to their chests.

  5. mirage
    July 25, 11:11 Reply

    Contact afterwards,never head from him again,maybe he died in an earthquake from my myriads of curses I heaped on him and weeks that rolled into months strange contacts started showing up on my whatsapp so if I don’t know you I don’t chat you up,thank God I could retrieve my small phone b4 I ran,many of my friends would have fell victims as they would have took contacts from my phone.It was later sum1 told me about his own experience with the same gang,he lost his Ipad,blackberry and a fancy hoodie and I was like seriously?taking all that stuff with u to see a guy u met online!

    • earl
      July 25, 16:21 Reply

      Lool… Like seriously..??.. Taking ipad..and fancy hoodie… Disneyland tinz naa… Rotflmao

  6. Chuck
    July 25, 11:21 Reply

    Please submit photos and contact info of these kito guys. Help the community, stop it from happening to anyone else, get your revenge.

  7. Khaleesi
    July 25, 11:32 Reply

    yes, please, submit his phone numbers… Remember that SIM cards r now registered with users names, also, with true caller, you can eventually find out who owns any number, so unmasking these persons isnt as difficult as we think. Send in their numbers, by the time we run it through trucaller, we can pull up their names and circulate it and eventually pix, so everyone knows to avoid them … a blacklist of “do not hookup with …”

  8. Mart
    July 25, 12:17 Reply

    I love how you made laughter out of a sad story. Got my morning on. And btw, talking of runners, I thought the champ was Kate Henshaw. I mean if you watched When The Sun Set and Stronger Than Pain. :,).

  9. Legalkoboko
    July 25, 15:00 Reply

    Nice one!

    This is why I personally dread 9ja gay dating sites, especially mj.

    I always think all those so called “setup guys ” are the stupidest kind of hypocrites in this country. So, they think gay sex violates their sense of morality. And yet, they think the best way to restore things back to status quo; to cleanse the supposed immortality, is by engaging in the immoral and illegal act of armed robbery!!
    Idiots!
    Buffoons!

    The good thing about these setup stories and stupid anti-gay laws is that it is at least an acknowledgment of our existence. That’s some progress. Back in the 90s, I can remember reading myopic articles where the existence of gay people in Nigeria was vigorously denied. At least we have passed that stage now.

    Marage, I read this stuff patiently, hoping to eventually get to the gruesome and bloody part. Thankfully, you outwitted them all. YES!!
    I love it.

  10. Micky
    July 25, 16:46 Reply

    Lucky guy… See what our society has subjected us to… We are now the victims and they are the predatory species… Most of us live in fear.. I made myself a promise.. I would never hook up with any1 from a social networking site… Not anymore!

  11. Victor
    July 25, 16:47 Reply

    This is my first comment on the many stories I have read. I also have a kito story that also shook my life. Now how do we get revenge back on this hoodlums, its not enough showing their pictures or phone numbers. Mine happened in Calabar. How do we get revenge? This guy was lucky they took nothing from him, but my they stole my phone, my money and international passport. Got one of my phones from them and left my international passport. After a week they asked me to bring more money inorder to get my International passport I just told them to kept it.

    • Victor
      July 25, 16:49 Reply

      Sorry I just told them to keep it.

  12. Iduke
    July 26, 00:22 Reply

    Kito set up name. He’s gay but a bloody thief. He’s lagos based but travels a lot in pretence of being stranded. He robs u. His name is yomi ijale. He robbed a frnd of mine n was proud to display the stolen wares. Sad fuck even steals boxers. Please panther. Forgive chizzie I miss his comments. He will be good from now on.. rotflmao

  13. daniel
    July 26, 06:54 Reply

    Girl aint u lucky!!!!! On another note, When will we learn to stop meeting new catches for the first time in their Houses or a seemingly not too public place? This is one thing similar in all the Kito stories…. We just hv to be careful, these thieves won’t stop, we have to up our security game. I suggest pepper sprays.

  14. Dennis Macauley
    July 26, 07:34 Reply

    You can never be “too careful”. Sometimes you take all the precautions and it still goes awry, however I think we should all master the art of listening to your instincts. They are usually right and if something is gonna go wrong, chances are that your instincts will tell you!!!

  15. enkayced
    July 26, 07:48 Reply

    I just wish I could munch my badoo chats so y’all could see how to handle random peeps. Since I came back to Lag 2 weeks ago, I have had at least 6 verying, tempting propositions for hookups but I usually proffer some strategies to outwit them.
    Firstly, I never ever EVER discuss anything even vaguely related to my sexual orientation or preference. Reason being that I value Character, so if I don’t like you as a friend, we can’t progress into the bedroom.
    Secondly, if you wanna actually see me, come to my Area.
    That way, I am in control of things.
    And thirdly, just don’t think of SEX on first encounter.
    Anything you rush into, you are almost certain to rush out of!

    • pinkpanthertb
      July 26, 07:53 Reply

      Funny thing is, if the other guy is for real and also following your rules, then he’d probably insist you come to HIS place, so he can be in control as well. To you, he’ll then turn out to be a set-up guy. And if you keep insisting he come over, to him, you are the set-up guy.
      See how twisted it can all then get?
      What a world we live in.

      • Absalom
        July 26, 14:02 Reply

        LOL. As in eh! And these guys are so patient now. However long it takes you to trust them, they are willing to wait!

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