LIVING WITH HATE

LIVING WITH HATE

singles 25You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches. – Dita Von Teese

Mother Theresa (1910 – 1997) was a Catholic nun of Albanian origin, who lived in India for most of her life. She founded the missionaries of charity, a Roman Catholic religious organization which as at 2012 had become active in over 130 countries worldwide. She and her nuns dedicated their lives to caring for the sick and bringing comfort to the dying.  She was proclaimed a living saint not only by Catholics, but also by Protestants, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists, and was popularly known by all as ‘the saint of the gutter.’ Mother Teresa was the recipient of numerous honours including the 1979 Nobel Peace Prize. In 2003, she was beatified as “Blessed Teresa of Calcutta”.

To me, if there was ever a ripe, juicy peach, a kind-hearted woman who lived a phenomenal life, devoted to the poor and downtrodden, to peace and the end of violence such as Mother Teresa was it.

But this peach did not lack haters. I’m not talking about haters who make occasional snide remarks or sponsor one or two vitriolic press releases against her whenever they are tired of purging their bad belles in their personal lavatories. Oh no! It was far worse than that. In 1994, two British journalists, Christopher Hitchens and Tariq Ali, produced a critical British Channel 4 documentary about her. And guess what it was titled? HELL’S ANGEL. That one no do o! Hitchens later published The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice, a pamphlet which repeated many of the accusations in the documentary. Someone actually went to press and published an entire book criticizing her, one fellow named Chatterjee, and the book was titled THE FINAL VERDICT.

Sorry o! My bad, if that long lecture made you fall asleep and dribble pink saliva all over the marble floors of Kito Diaries. Now let’s get to the point of all this. I’ll begin by asking you a question. What do you think that you could ever be or become that will make EVERYONE love you and NO ONE hate you?

Sorry to break your hearts, darlings. But the answer is NOTHING.

I didn’t come to hype religion or the Catholic Church. I only used the case in point to demonstrate one hard truth: everyone CANNOT love you. And honey, this is one bitter pill you have simply got to swallow, so that you can allow yourself to begin to LIVE. Become a nun, spend all your life caring for the poor, sick and homeless, you will still have enemies. Christ was hated and killed, so go figure.

You really, really, really want to be loved and accepted as you are. But sadly this will never ever happen, at least not in your lifetime. So you have two choices. It’s either you spend all your days in self-loathing, wishing and wanting affection and acceptance you will never have. Or you can wipe your tears, take life as you see it and move on. The whole world hates you. The very minimum you can do is LOVE yourself, and then you will have the love of at least one person. And really, that’s the only love you will ever be sure of. In that same vein, you ought to practice what you preach. Why should they accept what even you can’t accept? (i.e. yourself).

Stop eating the bread of tears and drinking from the darkest pots of misery. I dare you to rise like the phoenix from the fire and ashes!

Smack yourself in the face and say, “You have got to stop this! Stop this! And LIVE!”

Develop immunity to the homophobic bacteria threatening your homeostasis. Let your skin become tougher than dragon hide, impenetrable to spears and arrows flying towards your heart.

If you are not strong enough, remember the number three most important rules of business which to me are also the most important rules in life. Location! Location! Location! You live in hateful environment? Change location. Have hateful friends? Change your friends. Whatever and whoever takes away your happiness, biko dislocate or relocate. It’s hard, you say. Well, everyone has one difficulty or the other in life. Be brave!

Stay strong!

And above all, be happy! It’s the only debt you owe yourself.

A final word: Mother Teresa had a short response to her critics. She said, “No matter who says what, you should accept it with a smile and do your own work.”

Written by Sensei

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30 Comments

  1. McGray
    October 18, 06:21 Reply

    Oh Sensei, i feel like kissing u 10 times and Slapping u across d face 15 times as well. Dis is directly referring to me

  2. king
    October 18, 06:23 Reply

    Sensei nice write up! You scored at some points however, CHANGE location? I would say something else though….INFLUENCE your world! yes of course haters must hate but don’t forget you don’t owe your life to any man but your maker so do your HEART and if it’s genuine it will definitely still have the effect of a “mother theresa” who though was hated by some (imagine am just knowing this now….) still couldn’t be tainted and whose image is still one of a Saint!

      • s_sensei
        October 19, 00:40 Reply

        But if you will note, i said relocate “if you are not strong enough”

  3. #TeamKizito
    October 18, 06:26 Reply

    I, I love, I’m loving, I’ll love you for this, Sensei.

  4. gad
    October 18, 07:06 Reply

    Thanks for this piece. For all the lives of the struggling that this will touch and lighten up may heaven smile on u and bless you

  5. Legalkoboko
    October 18, 08:07 Reply

    This is why I love kitodiaries. Good stuff well written, Sensei.

  6. tinocompadre
    October 18, 09:12 Reply

    Some words there. I’m still pondering. Nice work Sensei

  7. Ruby
    October 18, 09:50 Reply

    Beautifully Written Sensei Darling *Smothering Sensei with Burgundy Kisses*

  8. Aproko Pikin
    October 18, 12:18 Reply

    Beautiful piece.
    I’ve been thinking of the relocate theory. Been meaning to live naija and probably seek asylum somewhere else… Still a hard nut in my heard. My only fear is my mother. She’d break!
    I’ve had it up to the full and tired of been here! Its choking me…wanna leave!!!

    • gad
      October 18, 13:41 Reply

      Fare thee well bro. Pls remember to shut the door behind you

  9. Colossus
    October 18, 14:29 Reply

    Beautiful piece, well written, points noted. I really do pray more of us can adhere to this, to do our best to live a happy and great life. Accept who you are and just live.

  10. Khaleesi
    October 18, 14:36 Reply

    Thanks Sensei, great piece! ! What’s life if you cant claim a bit of happiness for yourself in a world that’s nasty, brutish and short and which is constantly striving to deprive you of joy? …

  11. Emii
    October 18, 14:52 Reply

    Wow…wonderful article sensei..who has seen the movie PRAYERS FOR BOBBY..it talked about a boy who struggled with haters and ended badly…you will never get enough love and attention..so it’s up to accept yourself…

    • Absalom
      October 18, 15:09 Reply

      I LOVE “Prayers For Bobby”. lol.

        • Legalkoboko
          October 18, 21:07 Reply

          It is sad in an interesting way.
          Straight people can relate with it, I think. Bobby’s mum, the ultraconservative evangelical Christian who’s anti-gay stance drove her gay son to suicide ends up being a gay rights activists herself.
          Amazing, isn’t it?

    • Legalkoboko
      October 18, 19:16 Reply

      PRAYERS FOR BOBBY. Lovely film. I think I may have to sit my mum down one day and show her the dan film.

  12. xpressivejboy
    October 18, 21:33 Reply

    Sensei has mesmerised with my senses as he, was trained and, knows best. Love you more for this…Thanks.

    Buh wait ooO…did you just speak Igbo in there? Hmmm! Is HE (Ur BF) Ibo? Biko kowara’m sontin.

  13. Constant
    October 19, 05:29 Reply

    Lovely write up Sensei…. Totally relatable. Location issue has been coming to my mind lately. *waiting for the right time to hop on d jet*

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