NATIONAL CAKE

NATIONAL CAKE

The following is a work of fiction, a debut effort by KDian, Masked Man. Enjoy.

*

It was 6.30pm by the time our bus got to Nyanya Motor Park. I was thoroughly exhausted. I never knew Lagos to Abuja was like Africa to Asia. I was in high spirits, a mood of anticipation at the beginning of this journey, you know, going to the capital city for the first time and all that. But all that good mood wilted when I was stuck in Lokoja traffic for hours that seemed unending.

My brother was at the terminal to pick me. I hadn’t seen him in seven months since his traditional wedding in May, at Nnewi. The church wedding was last month, but I couldn’t attend because I had an exam. He was looking quite different. Was that a pot belly? We quickly exchanged pleasantries, put my bag in the back seat and drove off. We kept bantering on different issues all through the short ride.

Adaora was at the door to welcome me, her dearest brother-in-law. She was fonder of me than the rest of my siblings. Perhaps because I’m the last or because I’m the sibling who is closest to her husband. Yes, Ugo is the eldest of us, but the two of us, first and last, have a special connection. Adaora sashayed toward me as I jammed the passenger car door close, and flung out her arms in a wide embrace that couldn’t take two people in. I took in her Jessica White body figure and we hugged for some seconds.

Ada: Eze, don’t think I’ve forgiven you for not coming to our wedding o!

Me: Ah-ahn! I’m sorry na, Ada. Shey I explained things to you.

Ada: It’s alright. You and this your ‘shey’. Yoruba boy. Let’s go inside biko.

Ugo: Bia, Eze, so I should carry you bag inside too, ehn?

Me: Which kain broda you be sef?

We all laughed and proceeded to the sitting room. I sat down and threw back my head, a little relieved. Our trio continued bantering, especially about my journey.

Then Adaora called out, “Ari, come and say hi to your in-law!”

I gave a start. I’d thought it was just the three of us in the house. Ari? Like Arianna Grande? You’ve got to be kidding me! A girl in this house would spell doom for me. I just don’t have a thing for girls even when they throw themselves at me. Yes, I am that handsome.

So I was expecting to see a pony tail, night gown and nipples. Instead, when the curtain hanging over the doorway to the corridor parted, I saw a singlet, boxer shorts, and a mapped-out, dangling shape of something in them boxers. I swallowed hard. Arianna Grande was nowhere as sexy. I recognised his face, from the traditional wedding. Damn!

Ugo: Eze, this is Arinze, my wife’s youngest brother. I’m sure you saw him at the trad. He’s in Bida Poly and came around for the weekend. Arinze, here’s my kid brother, Eze.

I wasn’t sure if I moped with my jaws apart all through my brother’s introductory speech. I hoped I wasn’t. Arinze was of average height, 5’9 perhaps. There was something about the way he smiled. He had strong legs, and biceps that didn’t bulge too much. Aha! Flat tummy. And yes, cakes. I took all these in a matter of seconds and still managed to look uninterested. After Ugo was done speaking, we shook hands.

Arinze: Welcome Eze. How was trip?

His voice – Chineke nna! I don’t know if I replied or smiled like a clown, but I mumbled out some words.

As if to worsen or better my plight – I didn’t know which – my brother said something. He said I’d have to share a room with Arinze.

Save me, dear Lord. How was I supposed to survive this night sleeping next to a chocolate hunk who I wouldn’t mind trekking back to Lokoja for?

I followed Arinze inside with my bag. The bedroom was fairly big with a medium-sized mattress, big enough for two people to squeeze into. There was a wardrobe, reading table and chair. It was comfy. And there was rug on the floor too. He fell on the bed and began to fiddle with his phone. I stripped off, and prepared for a bath. He stole looks at me, looks I caught but pretended not to see.

Maybe he is what I hope he is, I thought with bated breath. Bless you heavens if he is.

After dinner and night prayers, I announced that I was tired and needed rest. We said our goodnights and everyone retired. My brother and his wife went to their room to commence whatever it was newlyweds do at night. I lay on the bed beside Arinze, avoiding body contact. He’d had a quick shower after prayer. Oh, how nice he smelt. I was in just briefs, and he was in just boxers, no singlet.

Jesus, come save me!

The subdued night light gave his body a kind of hue. His nipples jutted out on his chest, very thick. My fingers itched to stroke them. He had hair sprinkled on his chest and abdomen too, but not as much as mine. His barbered head and goatee. His shy navel and slender waist. The contour and folds of his boxer. Chim o! I had to do something before something would do me.

I decided to break the awkward silence. I started by asking him how the wedding played out. He started out slowly, but gathered velocity soon. He wasn’t like a Ferrari. We talked, and soon we were laughing. Look at me nau, that was supposed to be tired and asleep. God punish konji.

We switched talks to school life and campus. And soon, during a lull in the conversation, he was snoring mildly and gently. I wondered briefly how strong my thirst for his cakes was that I even found his snoring melodious. Feeling my heart pounding, I nudged his side. I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to confirm; perhaps to check if he was truly asleep. There was no response. Maybe he really was asleep. I scanned him from head to toe. Then I gave another nudge, a harder one this time. No response still. Just his pleasant-sounding snore. My oga at the below was already doing press-ups like a redhead lizard. Silly thing might just burst out of turgidity.

After about ten minutes of battling with my mind in creepy silence over what to do next, finally unable to resist the temptation, I reached out my hand and brushed my index finger against one of his nipples, circling the aureole. And just then, someone let out a gasp.

Arinze: What took you so long?

Startled, I jerked slightly away from him.

Arinze: Did you think I was asleep?

He was smiling like the Mona Lisa.

Arinze: I liked you from the day I saw you at the traditional wedding.

I stared at him with utmost astonishment as he kept talking, wondering if this is real.

Arinze: I saw you in the car through the window, when Bro. Ugo drove in, and I went in to wear boxers and do a few push-ups.

Was I dreaming? I pinched myself. The pinch hurt. I wasn’t.

Faster than I could say Jack Robinson, he began sniffing out at my briefs, pulling it down. He brought out my oga that had been throbbing and wrapped his mouth around its head.

Oh Jesus, thy kingdom is come here in Abuja!

He took in the entire 8 inches shaft and didn’t gag. Impressive. Nigga was even hornier than I was. He began tracing circles on my balls down to my ass crack. I was at his mercy. He struggled with his boxers while giving me head, and revealed a pretty sized dick, 6 inches at most. It was rock hard. Soon we were in a 69 position, and nigga smelled nice. I buried my face in and tongue-fucked him. He gave out muted moans. A cool zephyr coming in through the window caressed our skins. I turned him over and gave him head too. He was writhing with pleasure and was drooling precum all over. I threw his legs over his head and rimmed him again. This time, he almost tore the sheets into shreds. He knew he shouldn’t moan out loud lest we wake our siblings. So he had a pillow to his face, and grunted into it.

I quickly reached for rubbers in my bag and my Nivea lotion too. He was already in position, his arse in the air. I creamed and kneaded his hole and cracks abundantly. I sheathed myself and had it glistening in the soft night light. When I entered the lobby, it was as though I swam into a warm wetness. The arc of his back was as solid as the Niger Bridge, and my fingers were commuting to and fro. We worked up our rhythm to a faster pace and he swayed his waist and head in perfect accord. This guy really was a bitch. For someone who was supposed to be tired, I surprised myself. After so many turns and twists and styles, the dove started fluttering behind my head in sensual spasms, and with the sweetness rocking my waist, I knew it was coming. I quivered, quaking with pleasure as those warm jelly seeds spurted and squirted into the rubber. We collapsed into each other and kissed violently.

Me: You do realise we are supposed to be in-laws and not fuck buddies.

We were putting our undies back on. He simply smiled and said something like ‘Thank you’ in a wry tone.

Someone tapped me awake in the morning. It was Arinze. Memories of last night rushed into my blank head immediately. He kissed me passionately.

Arinze: Your brother and my sister have gone to work. So it’s time for St. Paul’s second missionary journey.

He laughed and kissed me some more.

My seven days in Abuja was fuck-filled. He didn’t go back after the weekend. He loved my dick, I guess. Or those abokis in Minna didn’t do it well. He came up with some excuse about feverish conditions to explain to our wards why he should stay back some more days. We fucked every blessed day. All the flings I had planned to fuck in Abuja didn’t matter anymore. Nonso, Kunle, Kaycee et al. I told them I didn’t come to Abuja after all.

However I needed to return to Lagos before Idris would find someone hotter and available. Finding and keeping a loyal guy is hard.

Arinze saw me off to the park the day I was leaving and made me promise to return to Abuja someday. I promised. Oh yes, I promised, willingly and honestly. And so, right now, I’m working towards being posted to Abuja for my NYSC. I pray it works. Anything to return to the national cake the capital city has to offer.

Written by Masked Man

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65 Comments

  1. Metrosexual
    March 19, 04:06 Reply

    Ari… Ariana Grande
    This got me early this morning… Lmao..
    *continues reading*

  2. Dennis Macaulay
    March 19, 04:09 Reply

    Something tells me that this is not fiction, however I shall proceed to sip my coffee and look at masked man with odu-anya

    • enigmous
      March 19, 04:39 Reply

      Dennis, exactly what I was going to say.

      I can only agree that it is 5% fiction or even less but what do I know?

      OAN, where is A-non my love.

      • Dennis Macauley
        March 19, 07:51 Reply

        Taaa! Promised where? You dont wanna get on my bad side! Move away!

      • bobby
        March 19, 08:23 Reply

        So there are two Dennis Macaulay’s now huh…which one is my crush biko?

      • Teflondon
        March 19, 08:56 Reply

        Will the real Dennis please stand up?

        *i’m confused*
        I have a crush on the real one

        #AskingForMyPeaceMind

      • Dennis Macaulay
        March 19, 09:11 Reply

        Pardon me please! I am using a computer and a handheld intermittently and apparently each has its own avatar.

        They are both me

    • Peak
      March 19, 07:40 Reply

      I will need both of you to stay away from A-non, we are promised to each other for the WHOLE of 2015. This is me asking nicely

      • Max
        March 19, 08:25 Reply

        @Peak, you know I can’t go through another heart break this year, right?

    • Peak
      March 19, 08:24 Reply

      Dennis my dear! Don’t mistake a gentle demeanour on KD for weakness. I allow u to do whatever u like with my Max cos u guys have a twisted history that we don’t know about. But u see A-non is fresh from the runway, I had no one vying 4 him, before we BOTH declared out intentions to EACH OTHER. So please position urself well well or I will go LA Bloods on ur ass!

      • Max
        March 19, 08:44 Reply

        @Dennis, so youre the one spoiling my mkt here. Threatening potential suitors and scaring them away..**looks at you with oduanya.
        Biko I’m fresh off the rack @Peak.

      • Dennis Macaulay
        March 19, 09:13 Reply

        @peak its a free market economy! The highest bidder wins! Hian*

        @max ello bae

  3. KingBey
    March 19, 05:55 Reply

    Super-Slut ! What if he were Straight? Na big gobe e for be for you ooooo…..me can’t make a first move even if Keith Carlos is sleeping beside me….Lucky you sha.

  4. gidikid
    March 19, 05:56 Reply

    nonso, kayceee… are thos not real abj ppl.. I tnk evry abj person knws nonso! lol

  5. Mercury
    March 19, 06:10 Reply

    Chai!!!!, thirst trap 101…….hian!!!!!, this doesn’t sound like fiction mbok, na ashewo dem full this blog, choi!!!, your in laws ass is national cake baa!!, Odiegwu.

  6. #TeamKizito
    March 19, 06:10 Reply

    *coughs.

    Arinze? Like seriously.. & this is fiction.. (gives Masked Man the look)

    (Something about stereotypes again)

    Guten Morgen, KD.

      • JArch
        March 19, 06:37 Reply

        Looool I swear this hoes ain’t loyal pinky…. The writer said its fiction, the masses says it’s not

        All you hoes-tumers…. Go and buy your market else where ooo

      • Mitch
        March 19, 08:35 Reply

        Guten Morgen Kizito. Wie geht es dir heute?

  7. JArch
    March 19, 06:23 Reply

    Masked man this is truly amazing (fiction or not)…. You definitely captured my attention from the beginning

    Ariana Grande though… you had me lol’ing at that one.

  8. Max
    March 19, 06:37 Reply

    Ok, just summoned courage to complete it.
    You’re dating Idris? And your talking about loyalty..
    Anyway its fiction.. Phew!
    Nice piece ..

  9. Sinnex
    March 19, 06:52 Reply

    This Is a nice one. I guess I made a mistake reading this piece this early morning. At least when I am about to go to work…

    How I wish it was that easy for me to try it out with my crush….I dey fear uppercut ooo

  10. #TeamKizito
    March 19, 07:16 Reply

    All of you and work; ‘I’m at work’, ‘about to go to work’, ‘I’m in a meeting’…

    No secondary school students visit KD? We don’t see, ‘on my way to school..’• ‘Wow, I fantasizing about my class captain whilst reading this..’• ‘PP, well-done oh! I’m in chemistry lab and I have a boner..’• ‘My maths teacher is so hot! I wish to get laid by him in the staff room..’• :s stuffs like these…

    Secodary Studs. In the house? *wave!

    *blinks*

    • Silvery Cat
      March 19, 13:55 Reply

      E reach to ask oh. In my Secondary school, I had a lot of sexcapades. I’d write it but I doubt Pinky will publish it.

  11. jamie
    March 19, 07:29 Reply

    Story is crazy!! Does this happen only in imaginations or someone would consent to lure anyone they lust after into sex…???

  12. KyrxxX
    March 19, 07:40 Reply

    You managed to stay uninterested but ur took in d cakes, biceps, height, nd everything in seconds ehkwa? Even d eggplant too? *** rolls eyes from A.Y.A to Madalla***. We haff hear you oh!

    But ppl get mind shaa! Hian! Someborri u barely know nd yet you r willing to take such risks without knowing their sexuality!
    Choi! It would never b better for Konji!

    And I take an exception for comparing my Arianna to ur Ari! My Arianna is sexy…………….like a teen going to junior prom!

  13. Peak
    March 19, 08:01 Reply

    “When I entered the lobby, it was as though I swam into warm wetness” U aint telling no lies brother! That 1st entry after the foreplay is just priceless.

    “And the Arc of his back was as solid as niger bridge” mehn I was waving my hand to the high heavens and singing halleluja! *in TD jake voice* at that line. Nothing motivates u more than a well arched back. Phew! This piece took me on a flash trip to ” Hoe Global Outreach ministry.

    Nice one

    • Max
      March 19, 08:36 Reply

      “Arched back”? Just the way you like it huh..
      This piece caters to your inner hoe.. ☺

    • pinkpanthertb
      March 19, 09:09 Reply

      Hahahahahaha!!! Peak, this is such a side of you I never knew existed.

    • Peak
      March 19, 10:31 Reply

      Lol! Pinky, My dark side can be over the top. That’s why is usually under lock and key.

      The gentleman demeanour looks more ………………….acceptable to the general public

  14. trystham
    March 19, 08:12 Reply

    I love that the title was in no way related to what I thot it would be.
    Very dreamy to be nothing other than fiction ELSE how do y’all gaydars work with near accuracy??? Its time I had mine repaired or replaced

  15. Ruby
    March 19, 08:13 Reply

    This is too vivid to be Fiction…
    The wonders Cakes can perform sha…
    Well done Masked man

  16. Mitch
    March 19, 08:42 Reply

    Oya Masked Man. Well done! Eyaf try, e hear.

    I’m with my study group, studying for an exam I’ve got tomorrow. Now I’ve got this boner for Africa! And what’s worse, I’ve gotta lecture them in about 2 minutes. Chai!

    #I_Need_A_Boyfriend

  17. Teflondon
    March 19, 08:52 Reply

    *cleans sweat off forehead even inside A/C*

    Fiction? Really?

    Too imaginative… Brilliant piece masked man!
    Am wondering when my story will debut here. *side eyes pinky* It will be so average at best.. So many brilliant and imaginative minds/writers here.
    *appluased yall*
    Although I do think “interesting” articles (if you know what I mean) likes this should be posted at night or what do you think?
    #AskingForLotsOfPeoplesPeaceOfMind

    • Max
      March 19, 09:01 Reply

      Morning posts is a “tradition” of KD. The management is not planning to make any changes about that anytime soon. Tradition should be respected.. Thanks.

      • Sinnex
        March 19, 09:54 Reply

        You go fear “Management”
        Or do you mean “Mayor” and “Class Captain”?
        See who is talking about respecting tradition…

    • pinkpanthertb
      March 19, 09:15 Reply

      You want something to wank to at the end of the day, ehn? lol

    • Teflondon
      March 19, 11:38 Reply

      @Max please I’ll love to move a motion.. To the management that my suggestion should be reviewed.. This brilliant piece is enough to put anyone to sleep (if you know what I mean) after reading.

  18. Legalkoboko
    March 19, 12:05 Reply

    *note to self *: when you lie in bed next to a cute guy with hot cakes, and you can’t tell if he is gay or not, watch out . Of he suddenly starts snoring, go for it!
    Good.
    If missed enough opportunities.
    Never again.

  19. Legalkoboko
    March 19, 12:09 Reply

    And the pics accompanying this post is something else.
    I was expecting a very edifying pic of huge cakes. How disappointing. *frowns*

    • Peak
      March 19, 13:01 Reply

      Nna enh! I think say na only me de feel the pic oooooo. The pic is giving me serious thugged-out loving tease. Love it.

      #cuddlehungry

  20. Khaleesi
    March 19, 13:52 Reply

    Wow @Masked Man, this sounds soo real. Nasty, raunchy, explicit, dirty – just how i love it! Please keep this cumming …

  21. Ace
    March 19, 15:52 Reply

    I see the fiction. Very fictional.

  22. A-non
    March 19, 17:32 Reply

    Hi @Dennis, @Peak, @enigmous,

    Wow was all I could summon when I read your comments that made reference to me…humbled much but savouring the accompanying attention nonetheless.

    Been busy as a bee in the past few says hence my ‘silence’ so far…promise to improve on that.

    *bear hug*

    • enigmous
      March 19, 19:01 Reply

      Awwwwwww…he’s back

      I missed you hun. Try and improve…and reach out too.

      *bear hug*

  23. A-non
    March 19, 17:39 Reply

    @Maskedman, if giving us an erection was your aim then you delivered!!!

    Beautiful writing I must confess, kept me hooked from start to finish and at some point could have sworn I was reading your diary, not fiction. It also had elements of what could be easily made a short film.

    Look forward to reading more stuff from you…

    *high five*

  24. Brian Collins
    March 19, 18:45 Reply

    Tell me about that thirst that can beat this ‘ a chocolate hunk who I wouldn’t mind trekking back to Lokoja for?’ had me in stitches.
    Really nice. Enjoyed how it progressed.

  25. Bette & Dot
    March 19, 20:25 Reply

    Ur Dick is only 6 inches? 🙁 🙁 & I thought u wr hot 🙁

    also, body lotion aint lube. Lotion weakens latex, increases std risk.

  26. Oluwadamilare Okoro
    March 19, 20:28 Reply

    Pause. Y’all think this can’t happen??? *surprised*

    If you have not been as thirsty as this, then you have never actually been thirsty…

    It happened to me in Dec. I guess there is a kind of sexiness that is just unexpected… then that straight guest takes off his clothes to sleep at night and boom! … ur brain disappears!

    That’s all I will say.

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