RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 9)

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 9)

Something must be wrong with my compound, because it doesn’t ever seem to attract the kind of neighbors I want to live with. When I first moved in, there was this hot single guy who lived upstairs; he worked in a bank and every morning I would peep through the window to watch him clean his car and all. The dude was fiiiiine with cakes begging to be spanked, but I travelled for a work thing and came back two weeks later to news that he had moved out, and I did not even know his name. After he moved out, a fat couple with their two noisy, destructive kids moved into the said flat…Mstchew. There was a single girl on another wing of the house and she was the only one that I bothered to pretend to make conversations with sometimes, but she got engaged and left for a pastor couple who speak in tongues all night to move in.

Eventually there was one vacant flat and this very fine boy comes with the realtor to look at the house to see if he would take it. I jumped out and joined them on the tour. The realtor must have been surprised, because I took over his job, selling the house, compound and neighborhood to this guy. I am a trained marketer, so in less than twenty minutes of the realtor being silent and wondering what’s up with me, the dude decided to take the apartment. He moved in a week later and when I eventually went to “welcome him to the neighborhood”, a lady opened the door with a screaming infant and informed me that her husband wasn’t in. And my thirst died right that minute.

I am currently the only single person in the compound. and the rest of them always have these “married people chat shows” where they discuss the challenges of raising kids amongst other things, and from the looks they give me sometimes, I am certain I have been one of those other things. Then again, I don’t care.

*

There is something I have observed that I find quite amusing; the other day I was at a bar waiting out traffic, and this guy whom I have been talking to for some time on Grindr was pressing for us to meet up that evening. I had time to kill so I told him to come to the bar which was also very close to his house. He showed up a short while later with another guy behind him, and was like, “Please don’t be angry, my cousin was bored at home and I did not want to leave him.”

I let that slide and sat down. I ordered beers for them (which I was having) and the ‘cousin’, who wasn’t invited by the way, ordered a cocktail of N6500. I did not say anything, but when it was time to go, I paid for the beers and stood up. The guy then asked pleadingly, “What about my cousin’s drink?” And I was like, “Well since your cousin is too classy to have beer like the rest of us, and since I did not even invite him out, he might as well pay for his cocktail.” And I went home.

I don’t know where people get off expecting other people to always pay for their food and drinks when I am not your father. Anytime I am asked out, I carry enough money to cover whatever I will eat and I always ensure that the cost of whatever I eat falls within the range of what money I have on me. I don’t expect anybody to cover my tab. Pay for yours and I’ll pay for mine. And if you ask me out when I don’t have enough money, I will make excuses and decline.

I remember one time this guy asked me to the movies, and seeing as it was a Saturday, I obliged him. When I got there, he picked the movie we would watch, collected two tickets and proceeded to wait for me to pay for the tickets. I merely reminded him that he asked me to come and that I am fine paying for my own ticket, but that I did not get asked here to come and buy him a ticket. And I left him there. I mean, even when my friends and I hang out in large groups, when the bill comes, everybody pays for what they consumed; isn’t that how life should work?

I realize that some guys exploit their sexuality as a means to some ends, and yes, if I ask a student or someone without income out, I will cover the persons tab. However, please do not come along with three of your cousins, and don’t come and order some very expensive food or drinks, because I will leave you to pay for it yourself, even if the option of payment is the proprietors putting you to use in their kitchen.

*

I was in Owerri recently on a work related trip, and on my way back, I passed the Imo State Polytechnic along the expressway. Now, that school always seems to be having a rag day each time I pass there; I am beginning to wonder if they do rag day departmentally. Anyway, they were having (yet) another rag day and the road was full of students waiting to hitch rides to Port Harcourt. I knew of course that I was going to pick up some, because I always give rides to students and corpers, as these free rides helped me a lot when I was a corper in Port Harcourt (with its expensive transportation) and earning N9700.

I scanned the crowd and spotted one very cute boy and another okay boy standing together. I pulled up before them (judge me NUT). Suddenly four girls exploded out of nowhere, boobs shaking in my face. “Sir, sir, Port Harcourt, Port Harcourt!!!” I smiled inwardly because I knew their game and it was a wasted effort. I opened the windows and pointed at the guys, telling the girls I stopped for the boys.

“You mean you want to carry those boys?” One of them asked me with disbelief written on her face, while another shocked face reminded me that six people can fit into the car. I lied that my shocks were bad and that I can only carry two, which is why I stopped for the boys. They eventually stood back while the boys entered, and we moved with the girls still looking at us with that “What manner of man is this” look. The boys thanked me, saying nobody gives rides to boys except a truck passes and they jump on the back, that most of the men carry only the females (duh!).

I am certain those girls would have ‘tabled my matter’ after I was gone and would probably have assumed that I am gay. However I did what I did deliberately, because sometimes, women feel entitled; they feel certain things should be handed to them or done for them just because they are women, and to me, this completely negates the message of equality.

*

I had a nomadic childhood; my daddy had a job in the armed forces that had us travelling around the country. I attended four different primary schools in different parts of this country (especially in northern Nigeria), and I have experienced so many different cultures. The major bummer however is that I don’t have childhood friends, seeing as we never lived in a location for more than two years. Just as we are settling down, we would get uprooted again. So now, I don’t have friends whom I have known for 20 years like many people do. My closest friends are from my university days and I always envy people who have childhood friends. I also did not know any Nigerian language, as we never stayed around long enough for us to learn. In fact, I learned passable Igbo when I stayed in boarding school at the federal government college in the east, which is why I always yimu Pink Panther when he trolls my Igbo spellings.

It was therefore a blessing when someone I went to primary school with in Yola managed to track me down on Facebook, and by a miraculous stroke of luck, he had just moved to Port Harcourt after a stint in Europe. We quickly met up and being the pitakwa lord that I am, I have been showing him around and introducing him to circles. I remembered he was very girly way back then, but all that has disappeared now; he didn’t waste time announcing that he was engaged. But to me, it seemed like he was convincing himself. I later asked if he as gay and he said no, throwing bible passages at me, so I let the matter rest.

A few days later, I was on Grindr chatting with someone, who subsequently sent me his BBM pin. When I added the pin, my phone reported that the contact already existed. I checked and it was this guy, and then I had a really good laugh. Now I totally love having a friend from my childhood who reminds me what I was like then; he even has pictures from my first Holy Communion ceremony which we did together (and I don’t even have a single photo). I decided not to bring up the Grindr issue just yet and see if he will tell me himself. I am watching to see how this plays out.

Have a great week, guys.

OAN: Please there are two profiles on Grindr; one goes as DM and another as Dennis Macaulay. Neither of them is me. I hear one has been begging people up and down for airtime; a friend brought my attention to it. I am on Grindr, but I don’t use DM or any name related to it. Just thought I should say it here.

XOXO

DM

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See, now that I think of it, hmmm, I realize maybe they planned it or something – they, Anya and Roland. Anya and I were done after that day. From

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127 Comments

  1. D-boy
    March 11, 05:53 Reply

    LMAOO @ a cocktail of N6,500. The nerve sha!

  2. TheP
    March 11, 06:09 Reply

    …people using their sexuality for exploitation. Males and females joined.

  3. Peak
    March 11, 06:13 Reply

    Ok this is by far the most entertaining entry so far, and funniest if I might add. But guy u evil oooooo! How u go leave boys hanging like that? No worry, I just ripped a page from ur grimoire cos aint no telling when u will run into “them boys/men”. 6500k drink? U tell am say ur papa na dangote ni? Girls and their ain of entitlement? Lol volumes of books and journals can come out from that matter so I will leave it be.
    Nicely done

    • Peak
      March 11, 07:22 Reply

      If it has vampire and blood anywhere near its theme? Then it a must see (well ……..except for the twilight crap). Am more of a True Blood kinda guy, Vp diaries is a lil too……………….PG-ish for me. I follow the show by the way(relunctantly)

      • Max
        March 11, 07:53 Reply

        Lol. The originals is way better

  4. simba
    March 11, 06:25 Reply

    Nice one DM.. but in summary u picked those boys cus they ll be beneficial to u than the girls.. forget ur excuses joor,.. same goes to str8 males.. I believe in people paying for their meals and etc, except if I asked u out or we fucking then u covered. I see u strict, thts a good one..

    • Dennis Macauley
      March 11, 06:28 Reply

      Lol! But i swear i dropped them off at their destination and zoomed off! Not even numbers were exchanged

      • Pete
        March 11, 07:22 Reply

        Guess I’m gonna take over as your Igbo tutor. It’s mechie onu. Stop murdering my language

      • simba
        March 11, 10:51 Reply

        Okay.. benefits doesn’t necessarily mean, it will end on bed or etc.. u may have had fun in de car, atleast some laughter lol

    • trystham
      March 11, 08:14 Reply

      I don’t think that follows. I learnt in JS1 to resent the gurls for always pulling stunts I wouldn’t dare dream of with our seniors. I decided then “bros b4 hoes”.

  5. Paul
    March 11, 06:43 Reply

    Dat cousin wanted to wash plates but didn’t jst know hw to ask dem to gada d plates for him.
    6k5 drink? Ontop anoda man head? #continoo
    U had such money n u were bored @ home?
    Lemme nt even talk of d purge u will purge cos new tins no dey good for belle.
    But wat do I know, its 6k5 it would come served with a jumbo sized tissue paper.

  6. Max
    March 11, 06:46 Reply

    I personally don’t pick anyone on the road, cos no one has ever picked me.
    And I believe in people paying for their meal. I always expect people to do the right thing, but they can eff up sometimes.. Thats why I dont do students(no offense to students here) cos they believe they shld all be pitied and taken care of. Mtchew.
    @Dennis, thats what you get for being such a child abuse artist..

    • Dennis Macaulay
      March 11, 06:50 Reply

      Your head there Max!

      When I was a corper a lot of people gave me free rides if I had my NYSC cap on. I didn’t even need to flag them down, they will stop and ask me where I was going. Now I try to do same with corpers and students.

      • Max
        March 11, 07:05 Reply

        Your NYSC “cap”??

      • wazzosgrotto
        March 11, 10:08 Reply

        This would make for a great web series. The cousin could be played by Jim iyke.

    • JustJames
      March 11, 08:16 Reply

      I don’t don’t expect be taken care of by my hookups and even boyfriends
      And I’m a student. I also take my money to whatever dates I go on to avoid embarrassments from people like Dennis. However if the person offers to pay for whatever who am I to decline their generosity. I’d even chip in and maybe pay for the drinks while he pays for the meal or something like that.

      I’m not offended but your statement was too much of a generalization just like when people say “every yoruba person likes to party”. It’s mostly true but it’s not always true.

      • trystham
        March 11, 14:27 Reply

        Me I was offended o. Just because you have not seen ppl who believe in the ‘Dutch Date’ principle does not mean they do not exist. But I don’t blame Max. All these ‘cab money’ boys sef. If you cannot cater for your bus (not even cab) fare back home, stay in ur house. To meet ppl n chop prick is not by force.

  7. Ruby
    March 11, 06:52 Reply

    Lovely Post DM!
    What was that dude thinking! Ordering a #6500 cocktail!
    Dude! You just met someone and you are opening your eye like Halogen lamp to order.
    I can imagine the look of disbelief and shock on his face when you said he shlould pay for his drink. *he must have washed quite a number of dishes to make up the cash*
    Children and “Odu Anya” these days

  8. McGray
    March 11, 06:55 Reply

    Pinky pls ryt me ur email again

  9. Mitch
    March 11, 06:59 Reply

    Long one today, DM! Long but true.

    The neighbours ish is basically like what I face in school. The only year I had roommates I liked was my first year. Subsequent years have been filled with some of the most idiotic, asinine, illogical and unco-ordinated people as my roommates. I rarely ever talk to my roommates. I just come in, do whatever I wanna do and leave.
    The issue with most people is this idiotic sense of entitlement they have. I mean, why would I go out with someone and order something I wouldn’t dare order for when I’m with my folks? Even if I do it with my folks, it most certainly is unbecoming to do it with my friends not to talk of someone I’m just meeting for the first time.
    Okay Dennis, point 3 is very true. Nekede can have rag day for Africa. I keep wondering, ‘Don’t these guys do anything other than rag day’? As for their girls, those girls would give professional akwunas a run for their boobs. And like I would always say, decisions ought to be made and stood by, no matter what.
    Consider yourself lucky, DM. At least your childhood was filled with knowledge of new places and different cultures. Mine was a more rigid one, as both my parents were bankers (though one is retired now) and insisted on me and my sister having a sound education. I barely had any friends as I was very shy. My time at home was basically spent reading and my parents had even stricter rules concerning me and my sister’s going out so we never went to see any friends or had any over.
    Your friend’s issue has more to do with fear than any other thing. He’s just afraid of being outed which is a natural fear for most of us.

    And your failure to learn languages kinda surprised me because you strike me as someone who loves languages. Then again, I could be wrong. However, if I was in your shoes, suffice to say that I would have been a full Nigerian linguist by now.

    All the same, awesome piece here!

  10. Ace
    March 11, 07:00 Reply

    Lol. Nice entry DM.

  11. Weirdo
    March 11, 07:01 Reply

    Pinky!!!!!!!!!

    Your head there!
    Where is that Chizzie’s comment that I just saw naa? U removed it abi? 1:0! See me itching to answer the babe! Would do it anyways in Absential.

    @Chizzie: You have no right to attack Dennis on anything concerning the looks department! Saw your kitchen utensils shades! Kettle calling pot black, right! Oh gurl, dont through stones while living in a glass house! I have seen you from all angles nd seen Dennis too. Dennis might not be Boris Kodjoe or Keith Carlos but he is a ok guy.
    As for you, take a portrait of your face(d side profile nd front) nd place the pics of an Ape that is licking lime side by side with it, tell me the difference!

    • pinkpanthertb
      March 11, 07:04 Reply

      I just don’t understand the guy’s problem. I’ve mediated. I’ve begged him. I’ve talked to him. To get over himself and try his hand at some maturity. He just can’t. Dude probably needs a trip to a psychologist to get all that bad negative energy breeding inside him. Fucker!

      • Max
        March 11, 07:57 Reply

        @hahahahahahahahahaha… There’s a way around that…

      • Khaleesi
        March 11, 09:00 Reply

        ***wailing with rage*** Pinky!! Why now? Why did u remove the comment? Dennis hasnt complained to you has he? Some of us are not so early readers!! We have to finish our beauty regimen and ayurvedic yoga routine for the day before we dive into the blog **hot tears*** havent you noticed that Dennis now has an army of the willing who stand ever ready to rip and hack into Chizzie whenever she attacks Dennis? Ehn!! Now you’ve denied me an opportunity to slash my nails across Chizzie’s face ***throws large mug of lemon-lime, avocado and cucumber with an infusion of protein shake smoothie in your face****

    • trystham
      March 11, 08:35 Reply

      Except u have another pseudonym here, didn’t u just join KD??? I hail your powers of perception. I hope to not get on your bad side.

      PS I think you can stalk for Africa. That shii scary

    • Peak
      March 11, 08:40 Reply

      Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhh! Someone is in a whip cracking mode today.
      Ama just sit in one corner and sip my zobo jejely

  12. McGray
    March 11, 07:07 Reply

    Pinky Thanks. Denny i truely love what u did there. If u order what i cant afford u r OYO

  13. Pete
    March 11, 07:14 Reply

    #BringBackChizzie’sComment

    • Mitch
      March 11, 07:28 Reply

      Peak, ya high abi? You wanna scare away our newbies with Chizzie’s sharp tongue abi? You no try

    • Peak
      March 11, 08:54 Reply

      @ Mitch, Bros u spelt “Pete” wrong

      • Max
        March 11, 09:18 Reply

        The heart knows what it wants. ☺☺☺

      • Mitch
        March 11, 09:32 Reply

        OMG! Peak, ayam vewi sowie for the error. @Pete, thank ya lucky stars!
        @Max, I have no idea what you’re talking about ***coyly sips cocktail while reading Danielle Steele***

  14. pinkpanthertb
    March 11, 07:29 Reply

    If he isn’t careful, y’all won’t be seeing his comments here any longer.

  15. Mitch
    March 11, 07:31 Reply

    Pinky, what you did was the best. His idiocy knows no bounds and as such, he ought to be taught his place! If you can, please block him from acessing KD.

  16. wazzosgrotto
    March 11, 07:55 Reply

    Pigeons be thinking they can scam a free drink off you on a date? Oh Chile.SMH.
    I’m surprised Pinky didnt give both of them a roundhouse kick coupled with a hado-kun.

    • trystham
      March 11, 14:35 Reply

      I know u meant DM.

      ROTFLMAO. I think u meant E.Honda’s ‘hundred hand slap’ instead of the hadokun. It would av taken in both their faces together LOL

      • wazzosgrotto
        March 11, 14:43 Reply

        Yes, I meant DM 😀 LOL. Leave them on the floor with a sign over their bodies saying PERFECT PERFECT!

  17. Mirage
    March 11, 08:00 Reply

    Cocktail of 6500nhe is mad! I can be generous but you have to respect yourself, money doesn’t come flying into our pockets. I sit on my desk morning till evening sorting out work papers and even when I get home, review notes start flying in and one dude would order what I didn’t even order, na only him waka come? he is probably a lager lout forming class ordering cocktail. I remember November last year when I newly moved to PH and a guy picked me up to visit him and when I was going home, I bid him good bye and hollered a cab back home, he pinged me in shock and went “you didn’t ask me to pay ur cab fare, that’s the first” and I typed out “I am an independent woman” lol, seriously when you have the cash why not take care of your bills? I get the student angle though, but some feel it’s their right. Nice write up, you passed* hands out admission letter*

      • Mirage
        March 11, 08:25 Reply

        lol you would have given the guy and his cousin 250 naira to buy lemon fresh cos them go wash plate tire!

      • Mirage
        March 11, 08:52 Reply

        DM what’s the ish between you and chizzie?ghost of bf past?

  18. trystham
    March 11, 08:10 Reply

    I knew someone who can like to do that nonsense. Attach hisself uninvited to ppls meets and over order…and he can like to hide his own dates. Meanwhile, DM ur date shud av pre-informed u by the way of apology. He was prolly in cahoots with his cousin to see how rich the maga will be. I hope they got to wash plates wella.

  19. Vhar.
    March 11, 08:16 Reply

    Dennis Macauley.

    Kai.
    You’re one funny man.

  20. Mirage
    March 11, 08:46 Reply

    I have asked pp to unveil the beef between DM and chizzie, PP you didn’t have all the power to take down the comment, we all shareholders, nna bring back the comment.*bangs gavel*

    • Khaleesi
      March 11, 09:03 Reply

      #bringbackchizziescomment# ***stares angrily @ Pinky, taps red stiletto heels impatiently****

  21. Teflondon
    March 11, 09:11 Reply

    Am joining the movement! When The LGBT are fighting for freedom to love and to let live.. yet amongst us ( kdians) we don’t encourage freedom of speech and expression… Double standards anybody??

    #BringBackChizziesComment

  22. dammychoy
    March 11, 09:11 Reply

    Well…for the fact that I had comment on here but a big fan of KD, I don’t see anything bad in what pinky did by deleting off his comment, cus I really don’t understand that mean bitch, maybe she’s jes trying to see for an attention she won’t get #okbye

  23. Legalkoboko
    March 11, 09:15 Reply

    The writing skills displayed here is calm and engaging. The diction is superb, and the content is the product of the keen observations of a humorous mind. Good job Dennis.

  24. Gad
    March 11, 09:27 Reply

    The assumption that people are talking about us when we see them together is false most times. Its usually as a result of an inner struggle within us.Its a conflict between self and self. A self inflicted confinement which only the individual has the power to free himself from. Guys and the thirst for free and ridiculously expensive items. This behavior cuts across board. People everywhere are in the habit of accumulating bills for others. If the invitation is @ my instance I should be ready to foot the bills. I go out of my way to confirm prizes of whatever is ordered and if it’s not within my budget I will simply ask that you go for an alternative. Unlike you though, I’m not sure I will leave that urchin who ordered a 6k5 drink to his fate. You seem to have one thing in common with my son. He attended 5 secondary schools but unlike you all were in northern Nigeria and most of the changes was by choice and not due to postings. Giving rides to people especially, students,corps members,security personnel,the elderly and the religious(Priests,Nuns etc) gives me joy. I never had course to regret it except on two occasions. A student I picked from Abj to Kd in 2003 stole my phone and a group of mobile policemen stole my beret some years later but these has not deterred me though. I hope I wont get a rebuke for writing too much. Lol

    • Khaleesi
      March 11, 09:36 Reply

      ***hugs you*** even though you sometimes annoy me so much

    • Max
      March 11, 10:53 Reply

      You only get lambasted when you write rubbish. So as long as your comments are clean and poignant, your replies are gonna be positive. ☺

      • Gad
        March 11, 12:50 Reply

        Are you sure you are replying to the right comment? Next time, don’t reply when driving a non-airconditioned car under intense Lagos heat and hold up(traffic)

      • Max
        March 11, 15:35 Reply

        I see you like being reprimanded like a child. Now I know what to do.

    • sinnex
      March 11, 12:19 Reply

      I never knew you were this old oooo. I wonder why people always pick on you. This is actually nice.

      • Gad
        March 11, 15:21 Reply

        I’m not even as old as I wanted. You don’t have to lose sleep over the attackers of Gad. Its all fun. The reasons includes but not limited to 1. Display of their level of understanding 2. Frustration 3. Transfer of aggression. 3. Over-knowledge: some of the attackers are so all-knowing that they respond to Gad,s comments before coming back to read. 4. Some are just crushing after Gad. 5. Many of them nurture the dream of a robot-like Gad (in their minds) who will always align with their opinions. When this doesn’t happen they bare their fangs but Gad has an iron skin.its all fun for those who understands

  25. Dubem
    March 11, 09:48 Reply

    #DoNotBringBackAnyDeadComment

    Trolling and bullying someone on the internet is all well and good, just as long as it doesn’t get personal. And chizzie has proven how personal he has taken his dislike of Dennis. Haba. Since the inception of KD, he has been going after DM. The dude is like a one man firing squad with his guns blazing after DM. And he’s made it very personal, so much so it’s become clear to everyone that they know each other. He has started letting out snippets of DM’s actual personality. How much longer before he runs out of veiled ammunition and starts firing away point blank.

    All of you that are clamouring for his freedom of speech; I’d like to see how righteous yall would be if someone dogs you with poison persistently and relentlessly every time you show your face on the blog. It’s all well n good to preach freedom of speech, until you’re the one bearing the brunt.

    PP, abeg leave that comment in whatever thrash basket you’ve put it. And keep up your scissors. If that bitch keeps up her nonsense, keep snipping him off. KD survived the last hiatus he was forced on. I’m pretty sure we’ll do just fine again without him.

    • Teflondon
      March 11, 10:44 Reply

      Dear Brother @dubem,
      oh so now you can judge on what is right and what is just.. You can differentiate between vicious and mean. It’s ok for You to judge on all that but don’t agree on the rest of the world judging your sexuality or as we put it “who we are”
      Regardless of the enormousity and intentions of chizzies comments. He has every right to view his point on how he feels abt the article written. What ever meaning you read to his point is left to you.
      Am not trying to condone mean comments amongst each other but I believe everyone has a right to view thier thoughts on any subject as they seem fit. Telling PP to chose and pick which comments to be viewed or not be viewed is removing the whole essence of this blog. The right to be free.. The right to express yourselves whichever deem fit. Insultive to the another person or not. (Note that your sexuality is insultive to some other people, whether that is right or wrong is a topic for another day but that doesn’t give them right to judge you)
      I love Denis Macaulay, I love chizzie throught thier comments and articles. The diversity in everyone is what makes the world interesting and this blog beautiful. Please do not discourage this diversity in the way we react to things and issues.
      *sigh* didn’t even intend to write this much.
      Your sincerely
      Out spoken realist

      • Dubem
        March 11, 11:07 Reply

        Argue your realism all you want, but the truth is just because you can say hateful things doesn’t mean you should. If it was okay for everyone to simply say anything they want, then the world would be a truly chaotic one. There’s an innate decency that everyone allows to check him sometimes. Chizzie has proven he’s incapable of checking himself. Perhaps PP can do the checking for him.

      • trystham
        March 11, 11:47 Reply

        While I do not agree with PP deleting comments, you do not want to see the depths Chizzie can sink to. You just don’t want to. You think you love Chizzie?? He entertains you. Your bitch part identifies with his. Mine does too…a lot of times. When I catch myself nodding too much at things he is saying, I start to pray against the evil that I am becoming. I have walked his path, it does not help anyone.

      • MacArdry
        March 11, 12:48 Reply

        @Dubem & trystham,ware that slippery slope you encourage.Such powers as to who’s comment is viewed and who’s is deleted should not be wielded on a forum such as this.This is a big man’s compound,all sorts of people/comments are supposed to be found here.The mean,the vicious,the funny,the empathetic,etc.There are other ways to hold Chizzie accountable for whatever he says on here,deleting his comments or denying him access should never be part of the mix.Let the thousand flowers bloom.#BringBackChizziesComment

      • Brian Collins
        March 11, 23:51 Reply

        Dennis pls give this guy a seat and i don’t mean at your tea table. Just dey yarn dust everywhere.
        Sha o PP, i was not happy when you deleted the light cum friendly stint kizito and i had. I can only imagine what chissie said. I am certain i woulda laughed at some point.

  26. Bambam
    March 11, 09:56 Reply

    What the point of reading DM diary without Chizze’s comment? So Sad!

    • pinkpanthertb
      March 11, 10:04 Reply

      Would you like us to reenact what you so clearly miss? Perhaps you’d like to write something for KD while I become the bitch who’ll carve out blood from your skin? 🙂

      • Max
        March 11, 10:58 Reply

        Lmao.. Mothers aren’t supposed to be bishes.. Take note @PP.. ☺

      • Dubem
        March 11, 11:08 Reply

        Lmao! It’s much better to miss a bloodbath when you’re not in the battlefield, no? 😀

      • Teflondon
        March 11, 13:59 Reply

        Dear PP,
        #BringBackChizziesComment
        #BringBackChizziesComment
        #BringBackChizziesComment
        #BringBackChizziesComment
        #BringBackChizziesComment
        #BringBackChizziesComment
        #BringBackChizziesComment
        #BringBackChizziesComment
        #ForBusyBodiesRestOfMind
        Yours faithfully,
        Out spoken realist

    • trystham
      March 11, 11:31 Reply

      You know why we hardly have new ppl write stuff here? It because of him. Oh, he is allowed to bitch at people, but you do not kill people’s talents just because you lack none. That is what he did back then, and THAT is why I hate his guts. Why don’t u write something. You won’t smell a pen and paper again if he handles your matter.

      • Gad
        March 11, 13:08 Reply

        Critics are known to be terrible performers world over. Their mastery is in cheap speeches and “pull him down” acts. Move a consortium of football analysts to the field and the world will record it’s first 2000 goals in the first 45 minutes.

      • trystham
        March 11, 14:02 Reply

        shebi the critics THINK they can do it better. He doesn’t think he can do it better and doesn’t hope he will ever be able to. IT doesn’t stop the “If I can’t/If I am not, no one ever should” attitude from him. It is sickening. Its destructive. I have gone from irritation, intense dislike, hatred and pity. I neva thot I’d say this about him, least of all ppl, frankly I am now becoming very scared for him.

  27. Mandy
    March 11, 09:56 Reply

    I don’t get that ‘cousin’s audacity though. How do you come as an attachment to a meet and have the presence of mind to order a 6500 cocktail, as opposed to the beers the people you’re third-wheeled are having? I just…I can’t. I just can’t.

  28. Dubem
    March 11, 10:02 Reply

    Deola, it’s annoying how we muddle up the fine line between mean and vicious. You can be mean, that’s acceptable internet behaviour. But chizzie is just vicious and cruel. And he shouldn’t be encouraged.

  29. Silvery Cat
    March 11, 10:08 Reply

    @DM this line …throwing bible passages at me, had me in fits. I’ve chatted up with some guys who loved me back in secondary school (and by love I mean the sort that involved thrusting and moaning in dark bathrooms) claiming to be straight but still fond of me. I guess I’m just that good…mtchew. Agents of Confusion is what I call them.
    In the past 18months, I’ve gotten close to a guy who is as straight as they come and cute as hell. I think he suspects I’m gay but WTH! I enjoy hanging out with him and one of our female friends. We can go out and close a shop down but at the end, everybody pays for what he or she ate/bought. The girl’s own is even worse…or better. U can’t buy her something as simple as bottled water. She’ll pay U back. God it’s fun hanging with working class peeps. The only time one person foots the bill is on the person’s birthday. After that experience, it’s hard to stand students who always look up to U like a breathing ATM.

    • Max
      March 11, 11:00 Reply

      @Silvery Cat, you’re treading on a long, lonely and dangerous path(straight boy crush). Just do us a Favour and write about it when the train crashes.

    • sinnex
      March 11, 12:26 Reply

      I can relate with your experience. I attended a single sex school and there were guys who begged me to kiss them or touch their dicks or let them ram me, I refused all of them. I did not go beyond touching dicks and the likes, 10 years later, all of them are claiming that they have forgotten and if you bring it up they feign annoyance. I am even confused. There is this particular one that kept on begging me till we graduated, he looks at me seductively, but I did not like him. Now, we are close on facebook and I have dropped hints here and there, but the guy no gree. He even has a girlfriend. Maybe it was a phase sha, since there were no girls in the school, so, they wanted to try the thing closer to a girl….

  30. mirage
    March 11, 11:09 Reply

    @silvery cat “moaning in dark bathrooms” chimoooo nna you need jesus!lol

  31. sinnex
    March 11, 12:32 Reply

    To say the truth, this is like the best of your work. I really like what you did. I don’t know why people expect that since you are older or because you are working, then you are supposed to take care of them. The worse is even the bottoms, no matter the age, who believes that the top being the “man” is supposed to cater for their needs. I just don’t get it. I guess that is the burden we have to bear for liking younger guys.
    I don’t meet people, and if I manage to meet you or you come to my house, I don’t pay for transport. Most guys that want to meet me and are far away, I always tell them to come with their T.Fare, you don’t tell me that I am the one that would pay, why can’t i decide that one.
    If I was to go on a date with anyone, I always have a budget and I tell the person that this is the money I am willing to spend, so, you better know what you are doing. If you order something that is beyond what I budgeted, I would tell you that you are going to pay for the excess.

    OAN:So, if DM or Dennis Macaulay on Grindr is not this DM, that means that the JustJames and Chizzie I have been chatting with on Grindr are not the ones on KD….hmmmm…

    • pinkpanthertb
      March 11, 12:46 Reply

      ‘The worse is even the bottoms, no matter the age…’? You see ehn, its these kinds of unintelligent generalisations that make me want to tear my weave-on for some people.

      • MacArdry
        March 11, 13:05 Reply

        “unintelligent generalisations”,really?.
        Have known/dated many bottoms,have we?.Cos what sinnex wrote is largely true.

        • pinkpanthertb
          March 11, 13:49 Reply

          I am bottom. I don’t have to date one to know it is an unfair generalization.

        • Gad
          March 11, 16:08 Reply

          What sinnex wrote was shameful but it’s the TRUTH. I’m talking from an insider position.

      • Mitch
        March 11, 13:33 Reply

        Lmao @ tear my weave-on! Pinky, I’ll love to see you do that. I’ma laugh my brains off

      • Deola
        March 11, 13:52 Reply

        Are all black people thugs, are all Jewish people cheap, are all white people racist, are all muslims Gun wielding terrorist, are all Yoruba women loud, dirty gossips, are all igbo people money-centered beings, are all hausa people almajiri, are all bottoms whiny and dependent, are all tops self centered, thoughtless and emotionless, are all bisexuals confused selfish people, are all students immature sugar daddy seeking people, are all HIV infected people sexual deviants, are all people bad, are all people good??

        Stereotypes, not only offensive but downright ignorant. Which is why you don’t generalize , not everyone is like This or that. Just because 10 people are like that doesn’t mean the 11th person is. This is why I can’t stand labels because all they breed is stereotypes.

        Whatever…peace out.

    • sinnex
      March 11, 13:49 Reply

      @PP, I am obviously talking about the ones I have met. Besides, It is a personal opinion….you don’t have to accept…or should someone not comment again because his opinion differs from yours or anybody’s. Besides, who are you to call my opinion “unintelligent generalisations”, maybe you know better than everyone here, so, only your opinion matters.

      I believe that next time you upload a post, make sure you let the readers know the kinds of comment you are expecting. In order to save some of us the stress of commenting.

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 11, 13:51 Reply

        I’m tempted to say ‘Go fuck yourself’
        But I’ll just stick to skipping past your comment.

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 11, 13:57 Reply

        Oh, and speaking of what comments you ought to make, perhaps the next time you want to speak of bottoms or any class of people you want to malign, inject into your comment that you’re talking about those you have met. Don’t throw out some silly generalization, and then when you’re called out on it, you backtrack and attempt to claim the injured party. Its a tasteless tactic.

      • Teflondon
        March 11, 14:07 Reply

        @sinnex Vs @Pinkpanther
        *rings bell*
        Let the cat fight begin!!

        *sips a shot of vodka*

      • Teflondon
        March 11, 15:33 Reply

        PP just deleted @sinnex last comments.. This is not fair. You left your insults whilst you remove @sinnexs #DoubleStandardMuch

        My advise PP just develop a thick skin from comments made and let things run naturally instead deleting and editing this and that. You would be surprised to find out that most people don’t just come on this blog for the articles and series alone but also for the comments aspects. Infact before I started commenting here I had been an addict of the comment aspect of KD. Just let things flow naturally, everybody cannot agree on the same thing at all times.. There will be disagreements, fun, laughter and what not. All this brings the beauty of this blog. PP you just have to cope with the good, the bad and the ugly of being the admin of this blog.
        I think I’ve said enough for today.
        Much love.
        Outspoken realist.

        • pinkpanthertb
          March 11, 15:36 Reply

          You own your data and your phone. Your opinion is yours as well. I’m no longer interested in any further exchanges today.

      • Max
        March 11, 16:02 Reply

        Oh PP deleted comments? Not nice I must say. Before I started commenting here, I was just having fun reading the comments. This shouldn’t be a “movie-like” blog where the good always triumphs over the evil. This should be real life sh*t.. Where sometimes lines are crossed, weaves are pulled off etc. I started commenting so I could have the chance to reply people’s comments when they step outta line.I know you’re the owner of the blog and I’ll eviscerate anyone who dares to oppose me if I were in your shoes. But… Its ‘not always’ the right thing to do. We can moderate the way we dish out insults here(I’m doing that with Gad currently) owner of blog or not.
        That said, @Sinnex, its too early to start vying for the position of “baddest bish in town”, many people are already in line for that same position.

      • Brian Collins
        March 12, 00:04 Reply

        Max ya mouth will koba u one day. Is he mad to vie for the position of baddest bish? Wont Kryxx and trystham and Khaleesi tear off his wig, pull out his tongue and gorge out his eyes respectively?

    • Max
      March 11, 15:51 Reply

      I knew PP(A.K.A defender of the bottoms) Head of bottoms association of Nigeria will bring out his claws on this comment..

  32. Khaleesi
    March 11, 13:30 Reply

    amazing piece Dennis, have been enjoying the comments all day and forgot to comment …

  33. Paul
    March 11, 14:53 Reply

    Dunno wich is more intresting d post or d comments.
    Dat said, I tink PP there r some people here who comment and are no too diffrent from chizzie. Dia rude and brash comments stare @ us daily but nobody talks n U never c it as bad cos they r ur personal friends- to me dats double standard.
    Chizzie genuinely luvs ds blog, we knw hw many times he’s come n gone.
    Its very easy to mak him stop d bad comments. Jst ignoring him.
    DM who’s @ d centre of it all ignores but his voltrons giv chizzie dt pleasurable joy by responding. If evryone ignores him he’d taper off n stop.
    I tink it was unfair to hv taken down his comments.
    How many pple destroy Gad n Lord here,
    U join dem n laff it off n have never said anytin.
    Oya Paul shut up-u hv said enof.

      • Gad
        March 12, 02:37 Reply

        Lord has obviously decided to stay in the background in the face of constant and unwarranted insults at his person by people who clearly are no match to him in any sphere of life. He must have felt ashamed joining issues with people who ordinarily he wouldn’t have especially in real life. @ Lord, I miss you and the responsible ways you respond to attacks

    • Gad
      March 12, 01:54 Reply

      Paul,I admire your good virture. its not easy to speak out against injustice especialy in a forum where “oh yes” members are seemingly the most visible. well done.you have the qualities of a knight. now to those who you think are destroying Gad; you are so wrong.Gad is too matured to be affected by mere words from people who cant hide their cantankerousity.its all fun for me as they provide me with free comedy

  34. iamcoy
    March 11, 17:08 Reply

    This blog is smoldering slowly..
    precedents are being set..
    enough said

    • Deola
      March 11, 17:25 Reply

      Hehehe. Berra go and sleep.

  35. Brian Collins
    March 12, 00:17 Reply

    Chai, laff af wanting to key me die. I just imagine inviting someone to have dinner with me at Eastern Garden one of the times i maga out my parents and have #5000 to spare and d dude shows up with his ‘cousin’, i will just order my medium rice and sweet and sour shrimp and pack of juice and dish half of the food and have them share the remaining half.
    Good as always DENNIS

    • Sinnex
      March 12, 07:21 Reply

      I actually noticed what @PP did, I just decided to ignore because it was quite immature of him, but since it is HIS blog, he has the right to do what he deems fit, even if he likes he can delete all the comments here.

      I guess this blog is for PP and friends, and the others are just gate crashers. I don’t see why I lick anyone’s shoes. My opinion is my opinion. Yet, I still do not see the wrong I wrote that warranted such venom from him, I have actually read worse.
      I also think there should be a caveat of sort on those who are expected to comment on posts and the kinds of comments that are expected, this would enable those who might have differing opinion to keep off.

      Please, I am not competing with anyone. I wonder why people here would label anyone who has a differing opinion as ‘bitch’. What does that even mean? And here we are complaining about labels….

      • wondabuoy
        March 12, 09:08 Reply

        I don’t think it’s very wrong to delete comments. It’s not so appropriate to say “He is the owner of the blog…” It’s better put to say that He is the MODERATOR. That said, He has the right to delete comments that could trigger further and uncalled-for controversies.

      • iamcoy
        March 12, 11:03 Reply

        Sinnex let it go.. it was a bad day for science

  36. Glamour
    March 17, 14:00 Reply

    This is my first comment on kd despite the fact that I’ve been following from inception, I love the way dennis narrates his escapades, quite entertaining and very interesting…well done.

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