Let’s Discuss . . . About Sex
So this KDian (a friend of mine who we shall call Fred) identifies as a Bottom in the bedroom. And recently, he’s being getting acquainted with someone. Fred lives in Calabar, and this potential hookup of his (named Iyke) lives in Enugu. They haven’t met, their flirtationship has been via BBM and Whatsapp. And even though work has made it often possible for Fred to travel to Enugu, he hasn’t made any concerted effort to see Iyke, in spite of admitting to an attraction for him.
So when I asked him what the problem was, he deadpanned: “He has a big dick and expects to fuck me for 45 minutes.”
I thought he was kidding; then he explained in detail. Apparently, during the progress of them getting to know each other, they talked about sex and their expectations. In between the swapping of dick-and-ass pictures, Iyke let on to Fred that he loves prolonged sex. According to him, he won’t stop banging away at an ass until at least forty-five minutes is past. This admission was very much to Fred’s displeasure, who quipped to me: “What does he think I have behind, a vagina? It’s an ass, and there’s only so much pounding I can take before it turns from pleasure to chore.”
Below is part of the chatversation that took place between the two may-never-be lovers.
And on and on they went. Thing is, Iyke wants to fuck Fred, and Fred finds Iyke intriguing. But the issue of how long Iyke should last inside Fred has put any progress into the bedroom in limbo.
Whilst they sort themselves out, I’ve brought this to the house for us to talk about. The expectations of a Top and a Bottom in the bedroom… The compromises, if any, that should be met… What is obtainable once the clothes are off and the heat is on… All these and many more are the reasons why I’m saying, let’s discuss about sex.
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80 Comments
gidikid
May 30, 05:11well I can go for 45 mins too bt doesn’t mean I must..I jst dnt cum early naturally bt once I see d other person is exhausted I stop. u av to b considerate. dt guy is funny and selfish. he evn wants it to be tight. lol
MacArdry
May 30, 05:33Well,the Iyke guy is being a nodcock,to say the least.Whoever heard of sex being enjoyable by how long it last?.And to call Fred lazy?.Talk of being a first-class idiot
#TeamKizito
May 30, 05:39Lol.
The selfish nanny goat. Pounding a man’s ass for half the duration of a football match? Hian.
What are the qualities or what does it take to the be a ‘Power Bottom’ again sef?
#TeamKizito
May 30, 05:40X_X
KryxxX
May 30, 05:46“So when I asked him what the problem was, he deadpanned: “He has a big dick and expects to fuck me for 45 minutes.”
Seriously?!
Does he want to answer his chi by dying on top of you?!
Espeakelekwe maka confuse!
Some ppl have no chill biko!
45mins?
That’s pure evil and wickedness in d highest places nd order!
Lets even leave the time aside self, d size now matters! If it is small, I can understand but not this ototo amu(big d) that is like a baby’s arm! Who does he want to kill!
Sister, tell him that he didn’t see u! Ofuru gi cha cha! Nkita onwu na akpo, onaghi ekwe ya nu isi nsi!
Nonsense!
KingBey
May 30, 06:00The average sex session for me lasts between 5 and 7 minutes…..anything above that and it becomes boring….even if I’m sucking you off, you better burst that nut within 5 minutes or else, you’re on your own. I love sex but I easily get bored of anything.
KingBey
May 30, 06:04And I thought this discussion was about Sex…..what’s up with some people here insulting the guy who wants to fuck for long? Or do you guys have a natural tendency just to bitch about and throw insult to anything read on here? If he loves prolonged sex, it’s his personal wahala. he will still get a bottom or versatile who loves it that way too. So chillax people. smh
Masked Man
May 30, 06:10I honestly do not like the perception that sex is only achieved through active penetration.
What if two bottoms or tops meet each other, and really like each other? They can’t have a pleasurable time together?
You mustn’t get penetrated to get romantically, and passionately pleasured.
And I believe sex to a two-way thing. It shouldn’t be about one person. What’s pleasurable when you see that your partner is writhing in pains? Study their body languages. Know what they want.
Sex shouldn’t be mechanical.
pinkpanthertb
May 30, 06:23Love this comment.
Max
May 30, 07:17Million likes MM… Sex isn’t and shouldn’t be all about penetration.
writersanonymousng
June 03, 08:04Exactly
KryxxX
May 30, 06:29Ehen!
My mind haff cool now. Had to get that off my chest. Can’t deal with that 45min dredging of d lower Niger on one’s or my ass.
On the expectations in d bedroom, it varies from person to person. I think it should be based solely on communication which can then b followed by compromise when needed. Knowing what your lover wants nd how they want it. The extent you can go nd when you have to stop. Just like a safe word in an S&M relationship. But unlike that, when they r no words u’d have to b sensitive. Sex isn’t punishment but a pleasurable stuff that should b enjoyed by both parties.
And pls, do not b deceived by pornstars! The pain killers that has gone into that ass is enough to knock out a baby rhino! And my sisters that wants to b dredged for hours, everybody is not Diesel Washington or Lex Steele!
Mercury
May 30, 06:35I’m spontaneous, I don’t discuss sex before having it.. .that whole “how long can you go” question is just weird, are we discussing a business deal??? Or nah contract???. Why can’t people just get in bed and have a good time, let things flow an the see where it takes you. And also be sensitive enough to know the boundaries of pleasure and pain or punishment on both sides of the action. We tend to over flog things till they become an issue. Personally anyone that brings up that kinda convo is already a failed candidate.
trystham
May 30, 07:53I understand the whole spontaenity and trying out new things and stuff, but not discussing sex in a clinical way mind u, is like getting me to scream ‘OUCH!’ with every thrust. You can’t av a good time where one partner is fucked so good, he cums in secs or where the dick so bad he is wincing or grimacing like its by force
Mercury
May 30, 07:59I get you, but must everything be seen through to penetration?, you have fun and if it gets to penetration and things don’t work out, there are other ways to get off. Unless you see penetration as some kinda trophy winning exercises she.
trystham
May 30, 08:28I don’t see it as a trophy but biko, whats sex without the penetration.and cuddling for afters??? Do u have any idea what havinf a warm throbbing shaft slide up ur rectum feels like…even if it doesn’t move? Oh Lawd!!!
Mercury
May 30, 09:13Heu!!!!, nwanne, were nwayoo, we know your relationship with amu is not to be joked with.
trystham
May 30, 11:26Omalicha, what can I say? It is that relationship that makes me gay in d 1st place o
Ace
May 30, 08:19Mercury, I think i can now go to bed after reading your comment. When people ask me “what are we going to do in bed?” It just ticks me off. How about we don’t think too much about it and get down. I am a great lover of spontaneity and now I think about it, the best experiences I have had are the ones that bull-eyed quickly. Don’t over think it, do what you can and leave the rest for Remy Mars.
Mercury
May 30, 09:16Gbam!!!!
Francis
May 30, 06:4145 minutes = no sex for 1 month thereafter + baby food diet (literally). Lol. Some tops need to bottom once to understand what’s up.
Blow jobs are tedious enough not to talk of Anal Sex that’s why I prefer dudes that can finish the business in 10 mins max
Masked Man
May 30, 06:45“….finish the business…”
Seriously? Sex is business?
chestnut
May 30, 07:01So,here’s my take: good sex either happens naturally(if u’re lucky enough to find someone u’re sexually compatible with), Or, you both have to work at it. In d latter case, both parties just have to be willing to make some compromises (if they think they really like each other enough not to allow sex be a deal-breaker). You partner may not like everything u like,and vice versa, so u gotta find out what he likes; if it’s not toooo extreme for u,u give it to him. Personally,I don’t think there’s anything u can’t master with time -and a good shower-( except fisting…Hey Regal,how u doin’?hehe…),especially if u really like d person. U just gotta be willing and patient enough to learn what can make u both happy in bed. Sometimes,it really can all be “in the mind”.
Teflondon
May 30, 07:16No amount of shower or “cleansing” can make me give or even recieve rimming. Yuck! Utter disgust. Other than that and maybe fisting or whatever Yall call it these days.. I’m down for anything baby!
**walks away jiggling my fat & soft cakes**
#AdvertMode #MarketingMode
pinkpanthertb
May 30, 07:41Don’t knock what u haven’t tried, Tef. Especially if you’re receiving the rim job. Aswear, my ex’s tongue was magic to my ass. Lol
Max
May 30, 07:47@Pinky, maybe there’s a reason he wouldn’t allow anyone’s head down there..
And about your ex- Now I know the reason for your constant… *insert zipped mouth smiley here**
pinkpanthertb
May 30, 07:51Hahahaahaahaaa. Max, be silent and speak no further on that subject. Or else….
Mercury
May 30, 08:04*Saunters past Pinky and Max, while humming Rihanna’s Birthday Cake.*
Ace
May 30, 08:23I understand it is your preference and all but oh my… The plenty nail marks on the back and walls that have been exchanged in the act of rimming is passing you by. You may want to sample a cleanly administered one.
pinkpanthertb
May 30, 08:27Hahahaahaahaaa!!! Ace, preach that gospel abeg!
Max
May 30, 07:12I’ve done an hour plus.. It all depends on the person., whether they’re comfortable or not.. Sex is something that should be enjoyed by both parties, if not its just one person catering to another’s needs.
I think Fred should do a rain check..
Eros
May 30, 07:24I kent. I just kent. Sex for 45 mins? Abeg carry your preeq and swerve.
The thought of penetration alone is enough to dissuade me from doing anything and you want to plough me for 45 minutes like I am a mutant with some secret anal power. Gbafuo biko!! I no do!
I’d rather we kiss and make out and everyone returns to their father’s that. Aint nobody got time for that.
trystham
May 30, 07:39This shii is a serious matter. Its kinda worse for me because it affects me when the Top doesn’t cum b4 or when I have. I start to ask myself questions.
“Why are you this selfish? You could have bent a little more to the side for him. What’s a little pain?” OR “Guy, rest. Do you think he was into you in the 1st place? He just wanted to stick it in a hole” OR I start to tell myself I am indeed less than a man to not match his time OR wonder where he gets his brand of testosterone OR wonder if its cos of all the alcohol he’s drinking (which I hate btw) OR wonder if my walls are getting loose and I aint tight no more (resulting in dick fasting and diets)…and then the dude has to wank his cum out…everything feels awkward after. Y’ALL BETTER ANSWER SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO WAVE O *insert angry smiley here*
Francis
May 30, 07:44@tryst_hamlover you need to ask him what makes him cum. Like my ex that takes forever and doesn’t cum unless anal penetration or tonsil shattering blow job is involved
trystham
May 30, 08:05I ask oo. My brother, I kuku ask. Hian!!! Not giving ads, but I think I give mean heads (which don’t work on me likewise rim jobs). They r ready to drop in 3mins. But anal sex…they just want to go on and on and on like its a Federal Govt project
trystham
May 30, 11:34errr…Francis, I’m at an unfair disadvantage. I know knowing my twitter handle isn’t exactly rocket science, but how come we haven’t corresponded…at least once? Or have we?
Francis
May 30, 13:19@tryst_hamlover I found this blog via your twitter handle while searching for wanking pics. Lol
Max
May 30, 07:45Hahahahaha.. It’s not you honey, it’s them.
I personally don’t cum quickly, do always expect a long and draining make out session/sex from me.
Dont let people make you feel inadequate or insecure..
trystham
May 30, 08:16You are one of the problems I’m facing in my matrimonial home. Hian!!! Now we see where u expend all ur holiness. Extended Prayer Time
pinkpanthertb
May 30, 07:48All these questions while he’s pounding away after you’ve come, ehn? Lol. Issorait
trystham
May 30, 08:07Pounding away where? I cum, I’m done. Gaan wank away ur problems. Doesn’t stop the guilt tho
pinkpanthertb
May 30, 08:10Hahahaahaahaaa!!! Chai. Trys!
Ace
May 30, 08:33First, some people tend to exaggerate sexual prowess online so don’t think too much about it. But if he actually can go 45 minutes then nna, you have to remind him that it is ASS and you guys may have to reach a compromise. Have an intense foreplay! Foreplay is the ultimate soul catcher for me. I might not be really into you but if we progress smoothly during foreplay, Oga m you are the real MVP.
Finally, like Mercury said earlier, no dey over think sex. Do you, have fun, follow no rules and enjoy to your limit.
pinkpanthertb
May 30, 09:00Aunty Virginity… LMAO. Feeling shady this morning, are we, Tef?
Masked Man
May 30, 09:14What happens when you are hornier than Delilah for Samson’s cock, but your partner don’t want it at the moment, maybe he’s had a long day. But you just want some fuck, not some cuddling at the moment. But you love him, sleeping out is outta question. And you are tired of wanking, and you can feel it at the tip of your prepuce.
Lanre S
May 30, 09:26What’s there to compromise ? Lazy bottoms should meet lazy tops. Theoretical bottoms should meet theoretical tops. 2 minute bottoms should meet 2 minute tops. And power bottoms should meet power tops. Thats the purpose of chatting 1st, to reduce the risks of 2 incompatible ppl meeting .
Sinnex
May 30, 09:32Lol@You are just being lazy
Some people are funny. If you don’t cum in 5 minutes, you are on your own, and that’s just for bj oooo. I really don’t think there is a relationship between the length of time spent while screwing and the pleasure one derives from it.
I have come to the realization that fantasy is totally different from reality. In my head, I want to suck a big black dick and the rest, but in reality, i just don’t feel it.
Some guys are trying ooooo
Santa Diaba
May 30, 10:53I completely relate. Reality and fantasy are completely different.
Giant tools are fun to look at and fantasize about, but actually dealing with one can be tasking.
trystham
May 30, 11:23I beg to differ o. How do u explain wanking? There is a relationship between time and pleasure. If you didn’t enjoy wanking, you’d jist keep at it until u rubbed d dick raw in one session.
posh6666
May 30, 10:50Lmaoo i shake yansh for some people.Like seriously 45min wtf! Shey na doll baby u dey fuck ni?even most girls pussay wont take that talkless of an azz.So boring how can u just be pounding at a hole continously for dat long not to talk of d mess dat will be created advise for d btms in here dont ever let any selfish prick cox u into such nonsense if at d end of d day some sort of injury occurs trust me most of dem wont be ready to even give u money to take kear of urself some dat manage to sef wont give u enof,cos to me its stupid for him to damage ur bussy and u still pay to take kear of urself even if u can afford it.And frm pscychology honestly alot of times d guy will later have a bad impression bout u and even gossip about u with his frnds who will now term u borehole!lmaoooo i know dis cos me and my frnds do this. Yes we do judge and laff over dis kind of escapades when d cliq is complete.
posh6666
May 30, 10:53And even if u are a power btm and like to take massive stuffs for d love of it better b kearful cos one thing is sure ur days are numbered
Chuck
May 30, 13:02Not if you prepare properly and do your post care
JamesJemima
May 30, 11:4345mins to fuck excluding make out session and it’s not a flip flop. Are we trying to do all the styles in the karma sutra? It’s now even a big dick. I’d get bored.. Sorry.
I however wouldn’t mind if the person has adequate skills to keep me into it for that long. 45mins constant pleasure nd then some? Yes please!!
efe
May 30, 12:07I believe dat sex is enjoyable when both parties are into each other and not d duration of the sex! I for one easily get tired of sex. but then for someone to be pouncing on me for about 45mins its a NO NO and I can’t even try it.. if he insist I push him off me and he should use his hand to help him self.
Lanre S
May 30, 13:29I refuse to believe the views on this topic represent the quality of Nigerian bottoms. Maybe it’s just a skewed subset of very lazy ones. Cos I’ve met better people in real life. These KD commenting bottoms are exactly the type that piss a real top off.
posh6666
May 30, 13:56Lmaooooo my broda when u have succesfully practised being fucked for 45min as a research and handled it like a ninja den u have a right to say such.I bet u are a nigerian or u are strictly super top who cant submit to anoda mans pounding?lol what a joke saying that “kd btms are d ones dat piss real top off” can u allow it for urself?lets not be selfish how can u pound a fellow guy for 45min!well for me i can never ever allow such well except na Dangote wan pound me and having made a contract as per terms of reward if not no man is worth it carry ur honey/gold laced prick far far away from me
Sinnex
May 30, 13:45Which one be ‘Real’ Tops and ‘Fake’ Tops….’Real’ Bottoms and ‘Fake’ Bottoms,,,,na wa oooo!
Ruby
May 30, 13:59Well… We can go on 4 ages if the flow is right.
Personally I’ve gone 2hrs plus with Bae *it may sound unrealistic but its a true story n its one of those sessions we constantly reference and laff about*
There are days wen the sex isn’t so great but who cares *we always have better ones to wash away the bad ones*
That said, its all about the way you guys begin ur makeout session. If the top knows his onions, he should be able to foreplay the bottom to the point of ecstacy and most likely make him beg to be penetrated *yeah I know it may sound degrading to the bottoms but then again, its different strokes for different folks*
Peace *gotta go get my Groove on*
posh6666
May 30, 14:02I shake yansh for u my sister!*jingles tamborine*u should rep us in a foreign porn movie.lmaoooo no tea no shade hunnay
Ruby
May 30, 14:17@Posh6666
As sweet or tempting as it sounds…
Sweetie Мy Bujayjay aint for foreign porn.
Like I said, its all about your connection with your partner.
He take you there and do you well, Gurrl take it n drop it like its hot from Abeokuta to Ajaokuta
Ruby
May 30, 14:08Btw size is also a major Player.
Here’s my Categorization
Medium- average: 30mins n above
Average- above average: 1-2 hrs n counting
Monster cocks: Beyond 25mins is a miracle
So do the maths yourself and choose what works best for you
Ruby
May 30, 14:44Awwwww Posh6666 darling…
I’m honoured that you would consider me for such a vital position.
I’d try to live up to your expectation and help you be your best between the sheets.
As well as outside the bedroom
Mwaah
Diablo
May 30, 18:40Can’t seem to get over the fact that your friend has not only let you but more or less the entire world now know intimate and explicit details on the bedroom antics of a guy he hasn’t even met yet. Someone has profuse diarrhoea of the mouth. And then sex chatting…I’d rather we not talk so much abt it till we are in btwn the sheets, that way expectations aren’t high and ppl aren’t let down. Sex depends to a large extent on the level of attraction btwn both persons. I might not ideally like to be pounded for 45mins by a colossal penis but might oblige someone who I really find immensely attractive.
Now your friend is worked up over nothing and has spurred an unnecessary conversation
posh6666
May 30, 19:33My dear calm down its not dat serious,no actual names were given nor pictures nor any personal form of identification so let go.Well xcept u are d top guy involved cos u are sounding really salty
Ruby
May 30, 19:52Ouch!
That stung
Raj
May 30, 22:12Sex is about mutual pleasure and compromise
No one wants to have to be a victim of a boring sex. Especially one borne out of selfishness.
Tops should learn a great deal how to go mutually wit a bottom. Bottoming ain’t easy especially since there ain’t any natural lub in the ass.
Lexy
May 31, 08:52Ok,first of all, it’s an ass,not a vagina ooo,I top and sometimes I ask myself how do bottoms do it? Going long sometimes I begin to feel the bottom is in pain so once he cums n i haven’t, I withdraw n wank. Like I consider too,am an 8incher n curved n i don’t cum fast but I have my ways jor. 45 minutes is just wicked ni. I have lots of female friends who complained bout prolonged sex with big dicks and this na toto o. Abeg the guy should try and bottom small and see how far biko. And for crying out loud when did sex become a full time exercise to lose weight, hian..
writersanonymousng
June 01, 16:09http://writersanonymous.com.ng/2015/05/20/confessions-of-a-gay-man-is-it-always-all-about-sex/
Seyi Adeoye
June 01, 16:53I’ve had issues with many guys on this sex matter, to start with, in my opinionated mind I can never be with someone who is strictly one thing, top or bottom, variety they say is the spice of life.
On another end, I don’t fancy anal sex at all, the idea of enduring pain for some asshole’s satisfaction just does not go well with me. It’s all fantasy and I decided that I can’t afford to play it out, at least for now unless of course I meet someone who enjoys the pain, then I can be a willing accomplice. But the other way round? Hell no!
I’m up for frolicking or a hot romp, but anal, can’t me out
kelly
June 01, 21:41Well since he said 45 mins, I cn gv him that. And we all know kw that sex comprises of kissing, romancing and penetration.so we kiss for 25 min, romance for 15 min then he fucks for 5 min. Pls sum it up, church agbasaa
Ace
June 02, 03:45Shey? Scheduled programming na the way to go.
pinkpanthertb
June 02, 04:00Hahahaahaahaaa. I love your way of thinking, Kelly
posh6666
June 02, 06:28Pinkie hope u are ok?this one u havent posted in bout 3days.Bring back our posts
kelly
June 02, 20:32Lol @ pinki
Dominic Obioha
June 02, 07:04Happy birthday Pinky
Sinnex
June 02, 08:34Hmmmm…is that so?
I see why he has not posted anything….he is preparing for the Birthday Sex that would last him a lifetime.
Max
June 02, 09:15A virgin would know about these kinda sex, wouldn’t he?
Chuck
June 02, 15:05The virgin thing is clearly an “angle”
jephtah
June 02, 15:52FIRST time commenter here (been reading for about a year though) ermmm, for me it’s. CHOICE!!!! Our biology ain’t as similar as we presume, I think peeps especially the bottom folk should take just as much time as they can and please ask the top to stop, health ain’t no joke brothers! Tops, “we gatz consider mehnn” a bj or wank can do the rest.
chalantx
June 03, 22:44When the thick big, una go talk, when he small una go still talk. When he cums in tym, una go call am woman, when he no cum quick una go call am devil.
Bottoms are complicated creatures.
When i was still coming into my sexuality i use to be shy of having sex or showing off my dick or have sex with gays, lol i happen to have witnessed the way gays objectify sex n criticized their mate, so sex with a gay dude was no no especially btms. Point bottoms are one sluty insatisfiable bunch.
N sisters my dick was n is no way small, it was more or less a thing of, if they make the men look like boys in bed, what about me who is a boy, how would they make me look in bed, so i decided too save the mystery and kip’em drolling while fucking the straight bunch, mostly bi’s.