I don’t know how long I lasted in my newfound repentance. I remember I deleted 2go, but a few weeks after, I was re-downloading it. I stayed on it awhile, not socializing with anyone at first.

And then, I met Rita. She was very beautiful. I didn’t know how beautiful she was till I actually met her. My jaw dropped. We’d been talking for a while. She was schooling at Owerri and I was serving in Delta State. So, she came to pay me a visit. I went to the junction to pick her up and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was stunned by her beauty. You know when you just lie down and fantasize about your dream girlfriend. Rita was that dream girlfriend and more. She was tall, pretty and had a gap-toothed smile that was to die for.

I was living a good life during my service year; I was able to rent a nice apartment, so I set out to make her feel right at home. Her stay was the best thing that had ever happened to me during my service year, and for the first time in all my dating history, for the first time in all my relationships and online flings and dating people I never saw (I had a lot of those), I was truly in love. And all that love was for this captivating beauty.

She stayed with me for a week or so, and we were indoors throughout that period, only going out when we needed to get food. I didn’t go to work or think of any other thing during her stay. She gave me my best sexual experience so far. I was in my own mini paradise. When she left, I felt deflated. I cried. I missed her very much and it hurt my soul.

After some weeks, I decided it was my turn to go see her, so off I went to Owerri. My stay with her started out sweet, but it quickly and regrettably soured. Rita wasn’t a romantic and was totally not clingy. She loved her space and could just ignore me for a long while as she did other things. I soon began to feel somehow, especially since this was the same girl that was all over me weeks before. What had changed? During my entire stay with her, I think we kissed just once and barely had any conversation. I would just be in a corner and watch her watch movies all day. She treated me like a piece of shit, and I was over it. So, I simply packed my bags a few days later and left without even saying goodbye or anything. After a while, she messaged me and apologized for what happened (she’s still apologizing till today, lol) and we made up. I mean, I still loved the girl. How could I not? We dated for about four months or so, and then we just drifted apart. We did not officially break up, but we knew we were both done.

Then I met Tam. She was this reserved girl who didn’t chat always and I’m one to always go for the quiet, unpopular ones that no one knows in the community. So, we started chatting. I remember that day was Workers’ Day, and it was a Thursday. I didn’t go to work and I wanted to meet her that same day, but she was like: Pump your brakes, lover girl. Getting to know her was really hard because she didn’t readily open up and she was also very religious. But somehow, we got cracking and things took off for us both. And soon, we were dating each other.

Tam was very sexy. Thinking of her alone made me horny as fuck, and even though she was churchy and religious, she was a freak in bed and I loved it. I was done with NYSC at this time and was working full time, and I would sneak off work during lunch break to go see her, because she was staying with her sister. I would also leave work earlier than closing time just to get to her house before her sister got home. It was such a freaky relationship. Because I was still staying with my parents, I didn’t want her coming around to my house and risk meeting my mother. So we saw each other whenever we could and managed to have sex when we could.

Then I had to go to Delta State to correct something on my NYSC certificate and I asked her to come with me. She did. We lodged in a hotel and that became our mini honeymoon. That trip drew me closer to her and I was certain I loved her and that she loved me too.

That certainty came too soon.

After our honeymoon and we returned home to Port Harcourt, a few weeks later, I got a text from Tam. In it, she said she wanted to stop doing girls because it was a sin, that the bible said this and that, blah, blah, blah. I could not believe my eyes. I mean, I could believe my eyes. But Karma – Really?!!!

It hurt so bad, and I began to appreciate how Vic must have felt when I did this same thing to her. I knew her hurt because I was feeling it. And Tam had to do this to me with a text message. The nerve of her! I was super hurt. I tried calling her but she refused to pick my calls. Eventually, I just had to let her be, my sexy Tam.

And so, who was there to console me when all this happened with Tam? Rita. My beautiful Rita. Rita was really understanding and caring during this period and as unofficially as we broke up, we unofficially started dating again. I couldn’t resist that girl. This time around, she was more loving and caring and I appreciated her more than ever.

That is, until she fucked up.

I was supposed to go to Lagos to chill for a week or so, but because of Rita, I decided to start my chilling from Owerri. So I went to Owerri and lodged into a hotel. Then I asked this girl who was supposed to be my girlfriend over, and she declined, saying her “new boyfriend” wouldn’t let her.

Whadda – her new boyfriend?!!!

This was some guy who wasn’t even in the picture when we got back together, and because I had no problem with her exploring with other people seeing as we weren’t even official, I didn’t poke my nose into her business. For her to decline being with me because of him really hurt me. I stayed in Owerri for just that night and left for Lagos the next day.

When I got to Lagos, the friend I was supposed to stay with wasn’t around because she went for a vigil. She had asked her roommate to pick me up (her roommate was her ex-girlfriend, by the way). Her roommate was a stud and totally not my type, but with alcohol, you can’t tell your type apart. And that was what happened. I was still angry with Rita and was influenced by alcohol, so I slept with my friend’s ex-girlfriend-cum-roommate. And because of how petty I was back then, I made sure Rita knew I was getting some. I stayed in Lagos for about four days, and by the time I returned to Port Harcourt, Rita and I were officially over. There was just no coming back from what had happened between us. (We are however very good friends these days.)

I met some other girls; some I dated for a while, but I wouldn’t say there were any strong feelings or emotions I felt for them. And so, those relationships never lasted.

Then Tam and I started chatting again casually. Just like me, she had tried to stop, to become heterosexual, but unfortunately, there’s no stopping you from being who you are. So she was starting to accept herself just like I had learned to do. We started having low-key hookups. We weren’t a thing though; we were just friends with benefits. I didn’t have any girlfriend during that period. I think I just needed a break from dating. Plus there was news buzzing about my workplace that I was going to be transferred to Lagos. This was exciting. It signified a fresh start, probably a new beginning, new friends, a new community. And I looked very much forward to living on my own.

Tam didn’t want me to relocate to Lagos. She said she was going to miss me. And of course, I would miss her too. But I needed the freedom from my parents. I needed the independency. And when I finally got transferred to Lagos, I couldn’t be more grateful.

These days, I have fully accepted myself. I have met other people just like me. I have made good, wonderful friends, even though I am still very single. But ultimately, I am at that point in my life where I can say I am happy.


Written by Net

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  1. Astar
    October 08, 09:06 Reply

    “These days, I’ve fully accepted myself”.
    How beautiful that sounds!

    Life is beautiful and gay God loves you so much. Please live your life to the fullest.

  2. Lyanna
    October 08, 11:06 Reply

    Toooo interesting but it came to an end.

  3. Zara
    October 08, 15:13 Reply

    If you’re in Lagos and single I don’t mind keeping you company ?

    • Net
      October 09, 09:10 Reply

      I don’t mind company

      • Zara
        October 09, 17:28 Reply

        Lol hey darl! Should I contact pink panther or would you do that?

        • Net
          October 09, 18:16 Reply

          Yes, he has my can send him an email

          • Zara
            October 10, 21:37 Reply

            Sent a mail to him darling.. hoping to hear from you xxx

  4. VINA
    October 08, 16:42 Reply

    This gay life.. The Best is still yet to come tho.

    Such a beautiful read, mirrors half the story of us lez girls living in Nigeria. We’ve all met the religious girl who wanted to repent.?? And at the end of the say, half of us are still single.

  5. VINA
    October 08, 17:08 Reply

    Awww. This is so beautiful to read. This gay life ehn, it’s not easy. We’ve all definitely met the church girl who wanted to repent..

    At the end of the day, we are all still single Sha. It’s well.

  6. Chi
    October 08, 22:48 Reply

    The last part made me sooo happy.. I’m smiling so hard…

  7. J
    October 09, 19:36 Reply

    Nice one, I thought lesbian relationships are easier… I thought women are more reasonable, stable and emotional than men.

    • Jinchuriki
      October 09, 22:09 Reply

      Bruv! Don’t go there. You’ve not read or heard some stories.

    • Pink Panther
      October 10, 04:39 Reply

      You didn’t read “She Called Me Woman”, did you?

      • Net
        October 10, 07:41 Reply

        Do you have the ebook?

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