BEST OF BOTH WORLDS (Edition 2)
“Dear, there’s something I’ll like to tell you…” I said in the gloom after waking her up.
My heart was rattling my ribcage.
She sensed the seriousness in my voice and sat up. She turned on the bedside lamp and asked in a groggy voice, “What is it that can’t wait till morning? What time is it sef?”
“It’s 1:30am, and this can’t wait,” came my muted response. I was still waiting for her to regain full consciousness.
After what seem like a lifetime with only the ticking noise from the clock the only sound in the room, she finally asked after a yawn, “What is it?”
I took a deep breath and upon releasing it, I said, “Remember we agreed on no secrets between us.”
She nodded and stared fixedly at me.
“Well, there’s something about me I haven’t told you.” After a beat, I continued, “I’m bisexual. I’ve had a sexual history with both guys and ladies in the past, but none since we started dating.” I said this quickly as I’d rehearsed this speech over and over.
I hadn’t been looking at her when I spoke. But when I finished, I turned my eyes to her face to observe her reaction. She looked stunned, and sat there for a moment, speechless and immobile. Then, without saying a word, she pulled the duvet we were sharing to her body, picked up a pillow, stood and proceeded out of the bedroom, headed to the sitting room to sleep. I watched her leave and made no move to stop her. My heart constricted and I wondered if I had lost this woman who had come to mean the world to me. I couldn’t sleep anymore and every noise in the house had me looking at the door.
Eventually, I dozed off into a fitful sleep. The next time I opened my eyes, it was about 6am. I heard the shower in the guest bathroom running. I quickly did my morning ritual and then went to the kitchen, where I put a kettle on the gas cooker to boil water for tea. Drinking tea first thing in the morning before leaving for our respective days was a tradition for us. A few moments later, she came into the kitchen fully dressed in her uniform, and with the coldest voice I’d ever heard, she said, “I won’t be taking tea today. And don’t bother dropping me off at the hospital. I’ll get a taxi.”
I always drove her to work whenever she spent the night at my place. I began feeling despondent as I listened to her shatter our routine. I turned off the gas cooker and turned to look at her. She quickly turned away and made for the door. I tried to stop her. I reached out and grasped her arm.
She turned and stopped me with a look. Then in the same cold voice, she said, “Nuel, leave me alone. I’ll be late for work.”
And with that, she was gone, with my travelling bag bearing all the clothes and personal items she’d kept over at my place moving in her wake.
***
“Sir Nuel!” the voice called behind me.
I turned to behold the most beautiful nurse east of the Niger. However, I was unable to place her face. I said enquiringly, “School of Nursing, right?”
Only students from my previous workplace called me ‘Sir’.
She smiled and nodded.
“Where are you heading to?” I asked.
“I’m on my way to work. I work at the hospital down the road. I’m on night duty.” Her teeth sparkled in a smile as she responded.
“I’m having a birthday party at this hotel.” I pointed at the building. “Do you mind joining us? It’s either that or you give me your number.”
“I can’t join,” she said with a laugh, “but here, have my number.”
And thus began the start of the most beautiful relationship I’d ever had until that early morning.
***
I kept on trying to reach her the whole day. I called her. No response. I sent SMS. No reply. I left her messages on every social media account we were both on. No wink back from her. On platforms like BBM and Facebook, it was obvious she was seeing the messages. I harboured some hope, seeing as I hadn’t been blocked on any of them.
It wasn’t until three days later that I got an SMS from her, asking me to meet her at the hotel close to the hospital where she worked by 4pm.
When she walked into the bar and gave me a stiff handshake, I feared and expected the worst. After the pleasantries and enquiries of our individual wellbeing, she blurted, “Is it my fault?”
“Is what your fault?” I queried.
“Is it my fault that you’re – you know…” She couldn’t even say the word.
“That I’m bisexual,” I supplied.
She nodded as if saying the word was contagious.
I said, “No, it’s not. I’ve been like this since I can remember. I didn’t want to continue with you if I’ll keep this important aspect of my life hidden.”
“When I left your house three days ago,” she said, her face grave, “I swore never to have anything to do with you ever again. I can’t bring myself to think that you’ve been part of this disgusting thing. But then, I looked back at the times we’ve shared and they have been the most fulfilling of my life.”
“It’s not disgusting,” I said gently, trying not to be annoyed by her censure. “It’s who I’m. There are countless essays about same-sex relationships out there you can read up to understand it if you wish.”
“But the bible says –”
“You of all people should know by now my views on the bible and organised religion as a whole,” I interrupted.
“Is it because of this that you have those views about the bible?” she asked.
“Partly because of it and partly because of other reasons,” I answered.
“Okay oh. I can never seem to win an argument with you.”
“That’s because I tend to argue with facts and not go on with myths.”
“It’s enough joor. Come and take me home.”
My jaw slackened and my eyes widened. I asked hesitantly, as though I feared her answer, “Home, as in my place or yours?”
“Yours,” she replied, “but one condition.”
“What is it?”
She gave me a steady look, “That you don’t ever cheat on me, not with another woman and definitely not with a man.”
“You have my word,” I said, mentally crossing my heart.
“Oya, take the bag to the car,” she ordered, gesturing to the tote bag she’d come into the bar with.
“Always at your service, my lady,” I said, giving a mock salute.
*
And today, I’d like to end this entry with this gem:
“Love is the most important, the most necessary human emotion. Not just romantic love. Love! The ability of human beings to connect.” – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Written by Nuel
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27 Comments
McDuke
September 15, 06:32Seems more like a movie to me than reality…but anyway, does it mean you’ll never have anything to do with a guy sexually ever again in your life??? Cos if that’s the case…I don’t know what you’re still doing on KD and I don’t know what your story is gonna do for us…*just saying*
All the same, I kinda still envy you…all the best!!!
Dennis Macaulay
September 15, 06:39Let it play out son! Just allow Nuel tell his story and try as much as possible not to judge or pontificate
Mandy
September 15, 06:42The things people say are unbelievable sometimes. He is Bisexual. You know, the B in LGBT? That clearly is the reason he is here on KD. The entitlement of gay men sha.
And really, it seems more like a movie to you? Why? Because he was honest with his fiancée? Apparently, if he was secretive and dishonest with his woman, sneaking around on her, then that would be reality to you? Smh. Like I said, some people are simply unbelievable.
And you don’t have to envy him. If you identify as gay, simply find a way to be content with your sexuality, and not measure your contentment according to how well some others are able to be in relationships with women.
Dennis Macaulay
September 15, 06:53Mandy me and you should have lunch sometime. My people will call your people ??
Peak
September 15, 08:07A brother can never win with you people. He keeps a lid on the truth, he is the scum of the earth. He lets the truth out and let is breathe, it becomes a film trick.
What is he doing on KD? I won’t dignify ur trumpery with an answer.
For a set of people who defy and stretch the laws of this world and human imagination, we sure have some steep and conventional dictates and demands.
Keredim
September 15, 08:46“I don’t know what you’re still doing on KD and I don’t know what your story is gonna do for us…”
This has got to be one of the top 5 most senseless remarks that i have ever read on KD, aswear.??
Tiercel de Claron
September 15, 15:48It sure takes the cake,I tells ya.
R.W
January 13, 15:40You can’t ask him what he’s still doing but on K.D, he’s still bisexual, he chose a lady to live and cherish… Doesn’t make him straight. Would you rather he married both gender? Or married a man to maintain his Bi stats? No. Most of you don’t really get this thing
Opal
September 15, 06:36Nice write up Nuel… So how has it been since then? Have you. Even able to keep your promise about not cheating on her with a guy?
Pink Panther
September 15, 06:43One episode at a time, dear. 🙂
pete
September 17, 07:20As opposed to cheating on her with a girl?
Mandy
September 15, 06:44So you were clearly not kidding when you said you’ll be writing this series hand-in-hand with Chimamanda Adichie and Chinua Achebe… lol. Clearly a lover of African literature.
ambivalentone
September 15, 08:09Awwwwn!!! Barring a certain lack of curiosity that follows our general outings to straight ppl, this was a very good story. Very clearly an open minded person ur wifey is. But we already know this.
Keredim
September 15, 09:07Your cynical “generalising” is duly noted.?
See you next time.????
ambivalentone
September 15, 09:53Darn!!! You caught me. I serzly wonder why I had thought, of all KDians, u’d be last to latch on that fact?
Peak
September 15, 08:12I still don’t fully understand what format this series would be following (story telling alone or woven with articles detailing ideas), but from today’s entry, my bags are packed and I’m ready to be taken on a journey.
Dennis Macaulay
September 15, 08:22Story telling! Make what you want out of the stories.
Peak
September 15, 08:26Egbon, biko na u be Nuel spokes person abi kini?
I don agree to get patience and follow the matter as e unfold. Shey I no fit think out loud while at it?
Dennis Macaulay
September 15, 09:54No you can’t ??
I am Prosecutor, defense attorney and jury in this matter, plus Judge sef
Pagxy
September 15, 08:44Nice story .
INDIGENE
September 15, 09:58OK that was great!
•*•sugarrrr*•*
September 15, 13:43Hahahah blood of God! Story for another day.huh! So I bit mr. Nuel bye be that… Cos if you break this promise she’s gon break your dick give you chop
TEA
September 15, 17:08Hian this thing called love,me i cannot wait to know what it is all about biko!and uncle Nuel one can only wish and pray for someone which such understanding and Heart like sister Nurse!enjoy….
Brazyne
May 02, 15:19Intriguing indeed
THE BEST MAN – KitoDiaries
January 11, 05:32[…] I am bisexual, and as far as coming out to him goes, I have no intention of doing that. Or of coming out to anybody else for that matter, except Wifey, which I covered in my series HERE. […]
Jinchuriki
January 11, 13:17Two years later….. they got married. Go Nuel!!!
BEST OF BOTH WORLDS (To Tell Or Not To Tell) – KitoDiaries
February 20, 05:42[…] the struggle of the MGM who chooses to keep his sexuality a secret from his wife, because I in fact disclosed mine to my wife (then fiancée). It was a rocky situation, but it worked out alright. I was lucky, […]