Bisexual Man Talks About How Sex With Guys Has Helped Improve His Performance With Women

Bisexual Man Talks About How Sex With Guys Has Helped Improve His Performance With Women

Lewis Oakley is a proud bisexual man and he’s not apologizing for it.

“I’m not gay, I’m not straight, I’m a bisexual man,” he writes in a new column for Esquire. “I’ve had sex with men, women and long lasting relationships with both. Personally, I have no preference.”

For Oakley, sex, in general, is “amazing,” regardless of who it’s with. Though he admits he gets his best sex tips from other men.

“From personal experience I can tell you why bisexual men rate better between the sheets,” he says. “I know what other men have done that’s impressed me in bed and when I see these awesome moves, I steal them [to use on women].”

“You can’t hope to use your penis right until you’ve been on the receiving end of one.”

Of course, being bisexual isn’t all about sex, sex, sex. Relationships matter, too. But not everyone is interested in dating a bisexual guy. Oakley is cool with this. He says it’s fine because “it’s actually a great way to trim the fat in the pursuit of finding someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

His current girlfriend has no problem with his bisexuality.

“When we first met I had my tongue down a guy’s throat,” he explains. “I knew she was something special and luckily, the feeling was mutual. She’s never had an issue with me being bisexual, she’s not insecure and worried that I have ‘double the options to cheat’ on her.”

Perhaps the greatest challenge, Oakley says, is dealing with society’s expectations when it comes to gender roles.

He writes:

“When you date both men and women, it can be confusing when it comes to being the man. But from dating men, I’ve seen what equality really means in a relationship: you play to your talents not your genitals. If you’re better at cooking, you do most of the cooking. If they’re better at picking places to eat, they pick the places to eat. … After dating a guy for two and a half years, going back out on the dating scene was an adjustment when it came to how to treat women. I was so used to things being equal, but despite what they tell you, society still isn’t entirely ready for that when it comes to men and women. Often, women I dated expected me to pay the first time we went out. … There is also this issue of being a ‘protector’ when you’re the man in a straight relationship.”

At the end of the day, however, Oakley says he doesn’t need to live up to anyone else’s definition of masculinity.

“Modern society has torn up the rule book when it comes to being a man. In this time of transition we have an opportunity to rewrite the rules. As long as we earn money, are respectful of others and can hold a decent conversation, we’re golden.”

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  1. Mandy
    May 14, 07:30 Reply

    Nothing against Lewis Oakley, but I sure would love to read a story about a bisexual man who’s in a relationship with a man. In 99% of the stories I read where a bisexual man is the subject of the story, if he’s in a relationship, it’s with a woman. It would be refreshing to read about bisexual men who are in same sex relationships for a change. They do actually exist, don’t they?

  2. Delle
    May 14, 08:48 Reply

    ““From personal experience I can tell you why bisexual men rate better between the sheets,””

    Someone is seriously misinformed. Biko, bisexual men do not rate higher under the sheets. No man can do a man better than a gay man.

    I feel Oakley may be right in his own world as regards the other things he went on to
    write but the Nigerian bisexual man hasn’t reached that level of maturity. What with many here who see bisexuality as an escape from being labelled gay and what have you.

    It’s great to be bisexual when you truly understand what it entails to be one.

    • pete
      May 14, 08:58 Reply

      “From PERSONAL experience I can tell you why bisexual men rate better between the sheets,”

      • pete
        May 14, 09:00 Reply

        Bedmatics skills is not a function of sexuality
        Bedmatics skills is not a function of sexuality
        Bedmatics skills is not a function of sexuality
        Bedmatics skills is not a function of sexuality

        • Delle
          May 14, 09:55 Reply

          Who doesn’t know this? But then a gay man who has no experience with women cannot perform as good as a straight guy who has had experiences.

          • Bryce
            May 14, 11:31 Reply

            And a bisexual man,who has experience of both sides can do a whole lot better than that experienced straight guy.

            Good morning,Delle

  3. Irish...
    May 14, 10:55 Reply

    i thought everyone knew bisexual men give the best sex?

    • Pink Panther
      May 14, 11:05 Reply

      To who? Gay men? Abeg. Lol. Its versatile gay men who give the best sex.

      • FJ
        May 14, 14:49 Reply

        Are u talking from assumptions, personal experience or evidence from other bi/gay/ straight men and women?.
        If u ask me, bisexual men are better at sex to both gay men and women based on personal experience. Experience of both worlds can sharpen the skills and performance of a bisexual man. He is an embodiment of both. The confusion lies in tagging a gay man who delves into straight sex as being bisexual

        • ambivalentone
          May 14, 16:44 Reply

          Obviously. Bisexuals will be better at aving sex with both men and women because they WANT to av sex with both men and wonen. Str8 ppl dont wanna av sex with their gay counterparts and neither do gay men wanna av sex with women…except of course our confused brethren

          • Yazz Soltana
            May 14, 17:36 Reply

            Obviously bisexuals would be better in bed they would be like the avatars of bedmatics they can bend both elements

  4. himbo
    May 14, 11:36 Reply

    Bisexual VERS men give the best sex…

  5. KryxxX
    May 14, 11:58 Reply

    O. A. Ń. How can one be versatile and still be bisexual???? I just can’t fathom that level of greediness! ?????Only one person be eating his cake ? and having it still. Not fair!???????????

  6. Johnny
    May 14, 15:58 Reply

    Where you get all this combo?
    Gay Verse
    Straight BI

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