Check On This Nigerian Journalist’s Gripping Story About His Encounter With 2 Gay Men Who Asked For His Hand In Marriage
This hilarious calling-out-of-bullshit was originally published on zikoko.com. Check on it.
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Nigerian journalist and assistant editor with the Nation Newspaper, Seun Akioye, recently took to Facebook to narrate the story of how he was propositioned by 2 gay men while in Australia for work in 2004.
This guy.
Brace yourself. It’s quite lengthy.
Also, I will be dropping commentary as the story goes on. Mostly because I can.
He starts with how his brother was the one that encouraged him to tell his story.
“My brother Fredrick Nwabufo has encouraged me to share what I went through in the hands of some men many years ago, far away from this land. It is a lesson, that we men too suffer from harassment from male and female alike.”
He then proceeds to describe (in great detail) how handsome he was in his youth and how all that handsomeness came with the downside of having to deal with unwanted attention. Because if you don’t hype yourself, who will? cue dettol theme song
“I was once young and handsome. I do not mean the beauty that is only visible to the beholder, mine was universally acclaimed. So in my youth, I was a popular speculation for many females, but as you know all good things must have a downside, that comeliness also attracted unwanted attention.”
Then the real story starts!
“In 2004, I was in Melbourne Australia. I had arrived early to cover and make presentations at an international conference so my name was on the list of speakers with my contact. One day while lounging in my house, I received an email from someone who had seen my contact, he asked for my number and I obliged. The man would call and chat for hours on end. We discussed almost every issue on earth but I noticed he was more enthusiastic about discussing sex. Me, naïve and innocent, I didn’t take much notice since he was a man.”
Getting good, isn’t it?
“He would use many flattering adjectives to describe me, my nose held a particular fascination for him, he told me he was a 60 something year white male. Then he asked us to meet at a popular cafeteria in town. We did. He had tried to clean up and he dressed as he had a date. When he saw me, I could see the shock — I later realized it was lust — in his eyes. He hugged me tightly and then gave me a peck. Of course I was flattered but also slightly uncomfortable.”
Okay. No one is this naive. HOW did he not realize something was off about the whole thing?
Keep on reading though. It gets better.
“To cut the story, we ate and chatted. He told me he loved me, I said thank you. He said he wanted me, I asked wanted me to help with what. Then he told me he was gay and that he had fallen in love with me. He said he was rich, very rich and he would help me stay permanently in Australia if I could become his partner.”
“I could not believe it, here was an old man who is running to his grave promising me a life I could only dream about. He held my hand — I saw his was shaking — and told me how beautiful I was, he said all the dirty things he would do to me. I excused myself and left, I never picked his calls and I told him to steer off. But that was not the end.”
Of course it wasn’t. Time for the second story!
“One day I was just standing by the coffee table when this Asian looking brown handsome man came to me. He introduced himself and shook my hands. His palm was very soft and he had a very very very nice accent. His hair was curly and he had packed it in a neat and tidy manner. We began to talk and got on very well. We met the second day and it seemed our friendship was made in heaven.”
Awwwwwwwww!
“He told me he worked in America for many years and he was originally from New Zealand; he was half Aboriginal. I should have taken notice when as we go around he would wrap his hands around my neck, then my mid region and many times he had in moment of laughter touched my chest, bums etc. Me, naïve and innocent, I didn’t think such a nice man would be anything other than friends.”
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! Again, NO ONE is this naive! But keep reading. What happened next won’t shock you at all.
“I told him about Nigeria and he said a “wonderful life awaits us either here in Australia, in New Zealand or America.” He promised he could make things happen for me, I could live the life I never dreamt about, have access to finances — how the idiot got to know all the things I wanted still baffles me — but there is a little thing I would do. He was gay and he has fallen in love with me. ‘Marry me and you have the world at your feet,’ he said.”
“Jesus! Shebi dem say if you marry Oyinbo for paper, you can divorce after four year ba? Should I just do this for couple of years and get the best out of this man? That time, I knew very little about homosexuality and or the dangers therein. But I knew it conflicted strongly with my faith and culture. My second guy gave me one day to think it over, that evening he sent me a very touching loving email, if you were not strong , you would have fallen for him, he tried to blackmail me emotionally. I replied his mail, telling him I no longer want to see him.”
But because this wouldn’t be a proper story without an epilogue, he added this last line.
“But I saw him again, some days later, with a white guy, hands around the neck, at the entrance of our hotel.”
Now, I’m not saying that Mr. Seun’s story has holes in it (it does lol) but I have questions. Just 2 of them:
1) Is this a thing that happens? Do rich middle-aged gay men really just run around offering random guys money in exchange for marriage? For a one night stand maybe but marriage?? Do things like this really happen outside of badly written cliché-ridden movies?
2) What Mr. Seun claims he experienced really isn’t sexual harassment. I mean, it would’ve been if the two men had tried forcing themselves on him but according to his story, they didn’t. All they did was approach him. Nothing even remotely traumatizing happened. So this is my question:
What was the point of him telling this story NOW? Is it possible that he saw the recent sexual harassment scandals rocking Hollywood and wanted to……feel among?
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18 Comments
Façade
November 08, 06:00For a journalist he sure is too naive and too dumb if he thinks we’d believe this desperate attempt to belong. That’s who people propose marry you after two dates cos your beautiful is like that of lucifer
McDuke
November 08, 07:04Shame on him…this is just a failed attempt to mock homosexuals and for a journalist who should know better, I’m quite disappointed. He should go and take several seats…fine boy ko handsome boy ni.
drayne
November 08, 08:38this is a third grade journalist.the lies sef no sweet.read this with my kid bro and he was just laughing
as-I-am
November 08, 08:44Disgusting piece of Nigerians
Are you guys even reading the news on Bobrisky?
@Editor, there’s not been any story on this o, why?
I hate this country, I will never miss anything about being NIgerian.
Mandy
November 08, 08:57Which Bobrisky news? That he basically admitted he’s gay on instagram or that he was arrested? Has there been a development?
trystham
November 08, 12:29He got arrested???? Wawu!
I’m really surprised at his turn-around to claim ‘gay’. I honestly think it was a snappy retort at pests who won’t let up asking him if he is gay
Mandy
November 08, 08:55Because that is how irresistible you are, eh oga journalist. That you’re getting marriage proposals upandan. Both you and this your naive and innocent should keep shut, let’s hear other noise in this Nigeria. Mscheeewwww
Rehoboth
November 08, 09:20I’m not understanding the outrage. His story sounds plausible to me.
Paul
November 08, 10:07The outrage is that it has a patronizing tone.
Paul
November 08, 10:16For example, take the line “how the ‘idiot’ got to…”. It offers insight about what he feels about gay people: contempt.
To think that this is coming from an “assistant editor” of a major publication. It is a sad thing to be amongst some Nigerians.
Malik
November 08, 15:23Sounds plausible to me too. But it’s definitely an unnecessary story. Both men were polite and decent; none harassed him or did anything vaguely similar so why the desperation for media attention?
Ken George
November 08, 10:20Loolzzz
This is fact laced with fiction, a generous dash of hallucination and a nice sprinkling of wishful thinking.
Newsflash duhling: u aint that cute! Aint no homo chasing your lieing ass. Ya cheap dumb attention seeker
Delle
November 08, 19:14I think he is attention seeking. I think he is gay. I think he didn’t tell the truth, at least most of it he actually exposed himself a little with this, “He introduced himself and shook my hands. His palm was very soft and he had a very very very nice accent. His hair was curly and he had packed it in a neat and tidy manner. We began to talk and got on very well. We met the second day and it seemed our friendship was made in heaven.””
I don’t know about you guys but that quote screams more to me than meets the eye. He noticed way too much!
So yes. I think he is looking for cheap attention. I think he is gay. And I think he is a lying, self-absorbed piece of shit.
Now, except your hormones yor seriously warped in the course of your growth (which doesn’t seem very feasible), from the pic I see of you, you couldn’t be that cute. I mean, cute enough to garner such attention!
Jeez. *pukes out the read*
Pink Panther
November 08, 19:45???? That “we met the second day and it seemed our friendship was made in heaven” though.
Like seriously?
jaytee
November 09, 02:24A failed attempt at fiction. He needs classes. Smh
Lorde
November 09, 07:21Try again sir…next time with a REAL story!??!. ..
Foxydevil
November 09, 08:44The story went viral though. Can’t say the same for all the “well written ” ones we submit here on daily basis.
Cut him some slack, he went from a relatively unknown journalist to a viral sensation in a day.
?.
Pink Panther
November 09, 08:59Sometimes, I just don’t understand you.
Scratch that. All the time, I just don’t understand you.