Dear KD: How Do I Get My Crush To Notice Me?

Dear KD: How Do I Get My Crush To Notice Me?

Back in secondary school eight years ago, there was this guy who shamelessly crushed on me. He was this cute little boy who I didn’t bother getting into anything with, because he was two sets below me, and of course in secondary school, seniority is everything.

I caught him times without number staring unabashedly at me whenever we were in gatherings. And whenever my gaze met his, he’d keep looking steadily at me, as though willing me to talk with him. But I never did. I simply acted like he didn’t exist. Besides, it didn’t help that I was very shy and reserved back then.

Fast forward to eight years later, I am already done with the university and working, and I happened on this guy on Facebook. I quickly added him up. He has turned into a real hunk, no longer the cute little boy I knew, now very manly and seriously handsome.

But the problem now is that to him, I no longer exist. We share lots of ex schoolmate mutual friends, and I have noticed that he likes all their pictures but mine. When I comment on any of his posts, he doesn’t reply to what I’ve commented even though he does this for everyone else, instead reserving the generic like.

I would have understood his attitude if my looks have been dealt harshly with by the passage of time, but people tell me I’m even more good looking than I was back in secondary school. I take good care of myself and make sure to look good, so I know the issue of physicality can’t be the problem. And because of my reserve, I can’t bring myself to hit up his inbox to chat him up.

Now, I’m starting to wonder if perhaps he has issues to deal with concerning his sexuality, or if he was never into me and everything I thought about him being into me was just imagined.

Please help me out. This is the first time something like this is happening to me and I don’t just understand it. I like him and I need help to understand why he doesn’t seem to like me back.

Submitted by Mr. Denvers

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  1. Mr. Anonymous
    May 20, 05:12 Reply

    Maybe he’s just returning the favor. You deliberately ignored him (read played with his emotions) in secondary school, would it be such a surprise to realize that he’s now doing the same to you?

  2. Black Dynasty
    May 20, 06:17 Reply

    Perhaps he’s just not interested anymore, 8 years is a long time to wait for someone who is completely and utterly disinterested in you (that’s is what his perception would be, from your actions).

    You had your chance 8 years ago to go talk to him and you let it go, grow a pair for heaven’s sake and say hello, make a move. I don’t get some folks, why wonder “what if?” When you can clarify….

    • Pink Panther
      May 20, 09:16 Reply

      Why wonder “what if?” when you can clarify…
      This! ☝☝☝

  3. Johnny
    May 20, 06:21 Reply

    You are still proving seniority. You better say hi or hello in a DM.
    Did anything like crush happened to me in sec school????

  4. Kenny
    May 20, 06:58 Reply

    It won’t kill you to say hi. He just might be waiting for you to make a move this time.

  5. Colossus
    May 20, 07:21 Reply

    Slide into his DM, be the Banky to his Adesua. Be the Uti to the babe he claimed slid into his DM. You get my drift, just say hello.

      • Tenzian
        May 20, 10:15 Reply

        Pinky guu money! wat abt sum1 dat Neva initiates conversation with u, always waiting for u to say hello, and bOOM! he will chat like say 2mrw no dey. For d past 10 days I haven’t said hello or Hi to him and he too doesn’t seem to bother. Biko shld I keep initiating d chat or shld I kuku respect myself Nd allow move on?

        • Francis
          May 20, 11:06 Reply

          He might be carrying shoulder for you OR he’s just one of those peeps that sucks terribly at initiating conversations.

  6. ambivalentone
    May 20, 07:39 Reply

    You’re still forming ‘senior pangolo’, I-cannot-slide-in-my-Junior’s-PMs abi? Your metu go grow while you are pining.
    But seriously, shy or not, I av always found it easy to be a cradle-robbing cougar if I were so inclined. Act somehow like a big brother and viola!!! All your love problems are solved.

  7. shuga chocolata
    May 20, 07:40 Reply

    Just initiate the conversation, he might be waiting for you to do so.

    make a move Mr.

  8. energy
    May 20, 09:03 Reply

    he’s not interested. he has moved on, he has passed your level. revenge is best served cold like this.

  9. Lorde
    May 20, 09:06 Reply

    Make the move…..worst thing you’ll get is “no”….. and you move along n eat Akara down the road

  10. Delle
    May 20, 09:10 Reply

    Everything you said are assumptions. Why don’t you go on and do something. Inbox him. Get chatting with him.

    Know this, if he is liking the pictures of all your classmates and not yours, then he is holding a grudge. Now go find out what the grudge is about.
    Make him notice you. Being shy and reserved didn’t help you then, it won’t help now.

    On another note, this: “…now very ‘manly’ and…”

    I’m just wondering if that was necessary. All these masculinity freaks. ????

  11. Canis VY Majoris
    May 20, 10:32 Reply

    So because you’re ‘good looking’ or so you say, that means everyone (including this guy) will automatically like you. Better wake up.

    We like some, some like us back, others don’t, this is the circle of life. Deal with it, it’s just a crush.

  12. Francis
    May 20, 11:03 Reply

    Please if you’re​ going to follow peeps advice, DON’T SAY “HI” and leave it at that. You fit worsen your matter.

  13. Sinnex
    May 20, 11:53 Reply

    Well, you will never know until you hit him up.

    On another note, he may or may not be gay. Just because someone was attracted to you in Secondary school, doesn’t make them gay. The funny thing is that he never spoke to you. Who knows, maybe he just admired you and wanted you to be his school father…lol.

    You own is even ok, I remember in Secondary School, I was asked out by different guys in class. One guy actually begged me to kiss him and touch his dick. He was on my neck throughout our final days in school and I was not even a boarder. Fast forward to recent years, the guy is a friend on Facebook and we chat, but it seems like he has forgotten everything. I have dropped all the hints possible but he doesn’t budge. I invited him to Abuja at a point and he asked me to prepare enough girls for him.

    I just feel that a lot of guys did stuffs when they were teenagers and they are not gay. Maybe it was just the hormones talking.

    • Gad
      May 20, 12:55 Reply

      Pinky, if there are openings for best comments of the year, I hereby nominate this comment for the award.

  14. Mitch
    May 20, 14:47 Reply

    Karma can shaa be a mean bitch tho.

    All I can say is, slide into his DM and bloody start a conversation. If he ignores you, at least you’ve tried. It’ll be a lot better than doing nothing and bemoaning his ignoring you.

  15. Quinn
    May 20, 19:08 Reply

    Send him a message, meet him up and talk, be his friend, see where it leads…that’s what I’d do.

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