DICK WELL SERVED

Ever had dick game so good, you were having flashbacks at work?

That was the meme that was once posted on the Kito Diaries social media pages. I saw it and instantly had a flashback to the time when a Grindr hookup served it to me real good!

I’ve never trusted Grindr or any gay hookup app. However, I had to download Grindr after my regular fuck buddy moved out of town. No thanks to NYSC and their stupid scheme.

I set up a profile which turned out to be a source of humor to folks there. I was very frank with my bio. I thought that if I was to attract people to me, the least I could do would be to furnish them with a reason to. Also, I didn’t want to go poking into people’s profiles, given that I am a poor judge of character and situation.

No sooner was I properly open for business, did I start getting torrents of messages. My dp was quite a catch. One of such messages came from Pee. Pee had a very scanty profile. This made me a bit uneasy. After I’d signed up and gotten familiar with how things worked on Grindr, I’d decided that I would stay away from people with scanty profiles and fake display pictures (a faceless or headless dp would do.)

However, Pee was quite chatty and things got more interesting when we discovered that we lived less than 2 km away from each other. He wanted to meet at once in his house. I objected of course. Hello, this is fucking Grindr and it’d be my eternal mortification if after four years of reading Kito Diaries, I get spontaneous with a hookup that could end badly for me.

He became persistent with his request for me to come over – not the pushy or forced kind of persistent. He tried to convince me without scaring me off, and in attempt to get me to relax, he asked for a video call. So, we moved over to WhatsApp and he spent a large chunk of the call time trying to convince me to get on a bike and come to his house.

But I wouldn’t budge. “This is our first chat,” I told him. “And it was almost 5 pm. There won’t be enough time for sex except you are okay with a quickie.”

“Quickies are the best,” he replied with a very mischievous smirk. “Plus if you come, I will rim you till you go numb.”

If I say this didn’t cause me to automatically readjust my stand, I’d be telling a fat-ass lie. “Ok, I’ll come,” I promptly said, already imagining this guy’s tongue rooting about in my man-pussy.

But the moment I said those words, I went into panic mode. My mind started racing almost in nanoseconds, waves of ugly thoughts hitting me, nagging and tugging at my consciousness, sending off sparks of alarm.

Pee probably sensed my panic because the next message I got on WhatsApp was the information about his Facebook username and a request for me to send mine. I sent mine across and while I was cleaning up in the bathroom, I poked around his timeline to find that we had just 15 mutual friends. I have a threshold of 25 mutual friends, which has recently increased to 50. The number of mutual friends we shared didn’t sit well with me, but the idea of going numb from his rimming game refused to leave my mind. It was something I couldn’t get myself to pass over. Besides, the genuineness on his face during our video call and the frankness that was heavy in his voice as he urged me to come see him helped dissipate my anxiety. There was even a point during the video call, just before I’d concluded to go fuck this guy, when he said I shouldn’t bother if I still wasn’t comfortable with coming, that he understood perfectly, and that the only reason he was being persistent was because he was very horny.

About an hour later, I was all dressed up and headed to the junction where I’d get a bike. I dialed his number and to my utter surprise and suddenly mounting apprehension, it was switched off. I re-checked the number to be sure and dialed again. Still switched off. I heaved a sigh of relief and headed back home. But the moment I got into my house, he called. I answered and demanded an explanation. He said he’d had a low battery and had to switch sim cards. He apologized profusely, especially after I told him I’d changed my mind about coming, and begged that I reconsider.

A few minutes later, I was at the front lawn of his house exchanging pleasantries with him. It was nighttime enough to be clear to me that I’d be spending the night with Pee. Once inside, he offered me chin-chin and malt and gave me access to his laptop with movies so many, I wondered how he was able to combine work and school and still find time for movies. I selected Frozen and settled down to watch. He went to the kitchen to check on the food he was making, and while he was back there, the front door opened and a tall, well-built male walked into the room.

For some odd reason, I didn’t panic when this stranger walked in. (I’m still not clear on why I didn’t get nervous.) I said hi to him, but he didn’t respond. He had his ears plugged with an ear phone. He went to the fridge, took out a bottle of water and drank. He then went on to remove his clothes, hung them up in the wardrobe and slumped on the cushion. All these while not saying a word to me or even looking in my direction. When Pee returned to the room and didn’t seem surprised by the guy’s presence, the niggling uneasiness that had built up inside me calmed a bit, giving way to a small amount of anger.

This bitch has a roommate and didn’t think to mention it? I thought furiously. Now how are we supposed to fuck?

The two of them were now talking, and from the way their conversation flowed, it appeared that Pee knew this dude was on his way here. And so, I sat there wondering if this pikin had lured me here for a threesome. But then, I thought, perhaps, the guy would find someplace else to sleep because the house didn’t look like a place inhabited by two people.

Soon dinner was set and we ate in remarkable silence. Pee hadn’t introduced us, so we ate, each man content with his thoughts. When we were done, I went back to my movie while Pee and his friend lounged on the cushion. When I looked up some minutes later to see Pee’s head on the other guy’s thigh, I went back to what I’d initially thought: that this hookup had been intended to be a threesome. Besides, it was getting late and this guy didn’t seem like he’d be going anywhere to spend the night.

It was 10 pm when I finished my movie, and Pee had curled up on the sofa while his friend (whose name I still didn’t know) had come to the bed. They were both asleep. And I was lying there on the bed, thinking: OK, now what? I couldn’t believe I’d come all the way here for a mundane sleepover.

However, by 5 am, I was awakened by my answer that proved that this was anything but a mundane sleepover. Pee had come to join us on the bed. He awakened me with a kiss, and foreplay was soon underway between the three of us. However, for whatever reason, his friend wasn’t being responsive. Pee asked him what was wrong and the guy whispered to him something I didn’t hear. Pee nodded to whatever he told him, turned to me and it was just two.

He grabbed my ass with both hands and as if he’d been wanting to say that all night, he exclaimed, “Shit! Your ass is perfect!”

He squeezed and spanked, and in a flash, yanked my underwear off, before sinking his face inside my ass crack. He proceeded to lick and suck and nibble at my pussy like he’d been starved of a clean, shaved ass for a long time. I lay there moaning and gasping for breath as tides of pleasurable sensations crashed over me, making me tremble and quiver. He went at my ass hole for so long, I almost passed out. Then he turned me around and took my dick in his mouth. Deep-throating it straight away, not that the preeq is sizeable. He sucked and finger-fucked me simultaneously. I thrashed and flapped my hands here and there, looking for something to hold on to while moaning at a very high pitch. Somewhere in my mind, I thought he would caution me to not be so loud, but my moaning seemed to turn him on and with each sound I made, he doubled his efforts at sucking and finger-fucking me.

I was about to step into that point of no return, feeling myself slowly crest with sensations, when he stopped. He fucking stopped and slid up to my face with a smirk. Retrospectively, I think that boy knew I was close to climaxing.

He came to my face and planted a very deep, wet kiss on my mouth. Pee has the fullest lower lips I’d ever kissed. His tongue movements were unmatched. We kissed for a long while before he slipped down to my chest, taking one nipple into his mouth after another and delivering a kind of pleasure that rocketed me into another round of ecstasy.

When I could no longer take any more dosage, I rolled him off me and went to work on him. I spanked his ass heavily, groped, licked and poked it with my index and middle finger. He ass hole was clean and soft, just the way I liked it. I dug my tongue inside, going as deep as I could, until he was pulling me up to his face. Through gasps of breaths, he said, “Can I fuck you?” I nodded and he moved off the bed to his drawer for condoms and lubes. It was at this point that I noticed that his friend had left the bed and positioned himself on the sofa, his gaze on us.

The events that happened next, I cannot fully articulate. Pee went on to fuck me with the zeal and inventiveness of a porn star. We did all the positions that came to mind – spooning, missionary, doggy, cow girl, whatever. I was limber and he was good to go. By the time he came, I was dripping. I could literally feel the cool morning air from the open window seeping in through my sphincter, sweeping right up to my intestines. I was lying on my back as he began to jerk me off, his middle and index fingers up in my ass, massaging my prostate. Being a doctor, you can imagine he knew just where my prostate was and you guys know what happens when your prostate is being stimulated. When I orgasmed, my cum flew right to my face. This was the first time I’d shoot cum that far. It was breathtaking. I’d only ever experienced anal orgasm once, and that night, I had a full blast dosage.

When we were done and were now lying side by side, I jokingly asked, “Where did you grow up?”

He gave a small laugh, before replying, “Port Harcourt.”

“Oh…” was all I could say as realization dawned on me. Y’all know what they say about Port Harcourt boys, right?

Written by Michael